An A-Z of reasons Why Hobbits Shouldn't Be Allowed on a Journey
Mel and Rose G
Annoying - They sing, drink, and are generally too perky or our liking.
Bloody useless - They only steal the Arkenstone, and destroy Ruling Rings. Not very good, is it?
Cute -You must be kidding, that's the problem
Dumb - Not in the speaking form, but otherwise, yeah.
Eating - Always, they NEVER stop. And they stay slim. Not fair.
Furry footed - Wouldn't they find it hard to stay afloat in water, and wouldn't that make some parts of the journey hard?
Gollum: relatives of said slime ball (Mel: and you know exactly who looks like Gollum, don't ya Rose?)
Hole dwellers - They'll complain about living in trees / caves/ tents etc.
Ignorant - Of the history of Gondor at least
Jackasses - According to Rose's brother. We not claim responsibility for this one.
Kings advisors - Help! They can call down authority! Run from them! (Mel * Rolls eyes* Honestly, Rose, you Londoners!)
Ludicrous - That anyone would take them along. Gandalf has a lot to answer for.
Merry - He's one so enough said
Nasty - Isn't it nasty to scare poor little hobbitessss?
'Onest: (Mel- you must excuse my ignorant co-writer, she's delusional and believes this to be a word.)
Pea brained - No, they just have peas and cabbages and mushrooms on the brain.
Quick thinkers - Yup, so much so that they don't actually believe they need to bother to do it
Ring - Maybe they should have been dead Ringers for a certain Ranger, all of them.
Second breakfasts - They'd eat all your rations in a couple of days, and starve deserving Rangers.
There and back again - Why, oh, why the Back Again part?
Underhill - They moan about walking over it.
Very present: can you never get rid of these guys?!?!
Warriors - This is their one good point. However, leave them at home to deal with Ted Sandyman.
Xcitable -Lets see - dropping something down a well, picking up a Seeing Stone... Yep, that fits all right.
Young until 33 - They take ages to grow up.
Zaphod Beebelbrox like - Very similar. Except they only have one head. And they don't fly spaceships. And... you get the picture.
No offence, we like Hobbits really. It's just easier to do something like this. We think the next chapter may be about Gandalf, although Boromir and Faramir are possible. Then, we're nearly finished with these.