Unfortunate Places where Gandalf may have Ended Up after the Balrog Incident

By Mel and Rose G

Disclaimer- This character belong to Tolkien, and believe us, if we owned him, that uncontrollable Balrog would have killed him once, for all, and forever. We do not have the power to bring dead people back (although I am working on it. ;-) )

Some of these involve time travel. Don't worry about it - we're not.

Aragorn and Arwen - In the middle of an intimate moment, catch the drift?

Balrogish Afterlife - Their hell closely resembles Valinor - all peaceful and fluffy bunny rabbits etc, so probably not really that bad, but still… Too many of them.

Cracks of Doom - Either Mount Doom or Saraman cracking his head open.

Dol Gulder- You need an explanation for this one? Oh, Elbereth!

England - Where rabid fan girls stampede in the belief that he must be Orlando Bloom. (Mel- Or Gollum in your case, Rose)

Falls of Rauros - Where he accompanies poor Boromir out to sea and terrifies a few fish. And drowns.

Galadriel's mirror/ bird bath, while Frodo is looking at it - He mistakes Gandalf for Saraman and promptly drops dead of heart failure.

Harad - Where the stars are so strange he couldn't even use a compass.

In Boromir's Boat - See F, but while Aragorn etc are saying farewell. Most of the Fellowship die of fright.

Jammed under the gates of Minas Tirith - Denethor, being Denethor orders the gates lowered despite Faramir's protest and Gandalf in a flat form cannot practice much magic.

Khand - Where he is mullered by troops of strange looking things known as Variags.

Last Homely House - Yeah, really Homely with Elrond yelling at him for leaving his adopted son alone with FOUR hobbits and Boromir. Not to mention that pretty Elf.…

Mordor - Ash heaps and white robes really don't go, do they?

Numenor, just before sinking - Glug, glug, glug, drown. Ex-wizard.

Orthanc - Didn't you know that Gandalf's afraid of heights, no thanks to Gwahir?

Pillars of the Kings - Only to be shot down by Legolas on Aragorn's instructions as he believes that someone is invaded his Kingdom.

Quite - Quite a long way from anywhere remotely safe. Poor git.

Rohan - Theoden 'just wait to I find that wizard…Taking Shadowfax like that…I'll kill him.' Gandalf *crawls under a rock*

Saraman's Stewpot - Or possible Sauron's. Not that a disembodied eyeball could eat that much, but still, it might damages the robes.

Tol - un Guaroth - Where he sees Luthien, falls in love, challenges Beren to a duel and loses. Badly.

Under Rohan's cavalry - Eomer 'Charge!' Gandalf 'gulp!'

Varda's lap in Council - Closely followed by Manwe's prison.

Warg's feeding bowl - Bet you anything you like this lot love Wizards.

Xxtemly close to the edge of the Lonely Mountain - Unfortunately , not close enough.

Yavanna - We hear that Aule has a mighty big hammer these days.

Zirak - Zigal - Complete with Balrog and this whole list starts all over again.

This one came about as the result of a strange conversation in PE, in the middle of our mock exams. 'V' may well be responsible for a new fic, coming soon.

PS - Who should the next A-Z be about? Open to suggestions, else we'll torture Elf Boy again.