Hey sorry everyone I know its been awhile but I've been sick and then
theres school and all that so without further a due ....
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Spike stormed all the way back to his crypt, silently cursing and beating himself for what he did. He hadn't meant to do it, he liked Joyce and would respect her things. Dead or alive. She had been the only one who had treated him like a living person, aside from the Nibblet and not the deathly creature that he really was.
Opening the door with brute force and slamming it equally as forceful he marched further in and started pacing. He was acting like a cadged animal, even though he was free to go and do as he pleased. Pacing back and forth wondering what to do.
There was so little of Buffy left already and the things of her mother's, which she clung to he, had just obliterated. He never in a million years wanted to hurt her, well not any more anyway. He loved her more than his own pitiful existence and would do anything to keep her from harm and yet here he had just hurt her more than she had ever been hurt physically.
He stopped pacing and stood still for a few seconds to ponder what to do while he wasn't moving and quickly made up his mind. With out another thought he rushed to the stand his television was on and pushed it off with an angry shout, only realising what he had just done when he looked down at the now broken screen.
He stood straight and let out a heavy sigh, running his white hands through his almost white hair. His mind shouted a million things to him at once and this time his vampire hearing couldn't help him.
Sure he could go and steal a new vase for her and sure he could go out and nick a plant that looked like her mother's one but it wouldn't be the same. He had some real thinking to do and not just about things he had broken.
Buffy was scaring everyone; it felt like him most of all. She had become so very thin and her tiny frame seemed worn and haggard when she moved, nothing like the beautiful grace she used to move with. Her golden hair had lost it's shine and her hazel eyes had lost all their sparkle. He was scared for her more than he was himself. If he could never have her then at least he would make sure she was alright.
The Scoobies had done everything they could think of, none of it including him of course but he had been there, outside her window. Listening to her cry heartfelt sobs while she was curled up in bed. He had wanted nothing more than to rush in and comfort her but she would never of accepted it. She didn't accept anything from anyone these days.
Deciding pondering might seem clearer somewhere else, he walked out and went to his car, starting it up and rearing off. He would go where he always went when he dropped himself in it. There he could think about her all he wanted. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After clearing the glass, broken bits of plant pot and vase away Buffy had laid herself down on the couch, her mother's picture in her arms, hugged close to her chest near her heart and cried once more.
She was seething. Those were her mother's favourite things and had been placed where they were so everyone could see that but now..now no one would ever know. She knew deep down Spike hadn't meant to break those things but still, if he hadn't of snuck in and acted like the fool that he was then the items wouldn't be broken and she could go back to trying to feel nothing. If that wasn't bad enough, he had been trying to steal some of her stuff !
No. She didn't want to think about that, she didn't want to think about anything. Many things floated through her mind but she always pushed them out again. Thoughts mostly of Dawn and her friends, she hoped her sister was ok and that her friends were coping too but then if she cared about them and thought of them someone was sure to come along and take them away too so not caring was the best option.
She needed to think tonight though. Somewhere peaceful and quiet. Where no one could bother her...
She got up and put on her coat and left for the place she went so often to think about things as much as she wanted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike stormed all the way back to his crypt, silently cursing and beating himself for what he did. He hadn't meant to do it, he liked Joyce and would respect her things. Dead or alive. She had been the only one who had treated him like a living person, aside from the Nibblet and not the deathly creature that he really was.
Opening the door with brute force and slamming it equally as forceful he marched further in and started pacing. He was acting like a cadged animal, even though he was free to go and do as he pleased. Pacing back and forth wondering what to do.
There was so little of Buffy left already and the things of her mother's, which she clung to he, had just obliterated. He never in a million years wanted to hurt her, well not any more anyway. He loved her more than his own pitiful existence and would do anything to keep her from harm and yet here he had just hurt her more than she had ever been hurt physically.
He stopped pacing and stood still for a few seconds to ponder what to do while he wasn't moving and quickly made up his mind. With out another thought he rushed to the stand his television was on and pushed it off with an angry shout, only realising what he had just done when he looked down at the now broken screen.
He stood straight and let out a heavy sigh, running his white hands through his almost white hair. His mind shouted a million things to him at once and this time his vampire hearing couldn't help him.
Sure he could go and steal a new vase for her and sure he could go out and nick a plant that looked like her mother's one but it wouldn't be the same. He had some real thinking to do and not just about things he had broken.
Buffy was scaring everyone; it felt like him most of all. She had become so very thin and her tiny frame seemed worn and haggard when she moved, nothing like the beautiful grace she used to move with. Her golden hair had lost it's shine and her hazel eyes had lost all their sparkle. He was scared for her more than he was himself. If he could never have her then at least he would make sure she was alright.
The Scoobies had done everything they could think of, none of it including him of course but he had been there, outside her window. Listening to her cry heartfelt sobs while she was curled up in bed. He had wanted nothing more than to rush in and comfort her but she would never of accepted it. She didn't accept anything from anyone these days.
Deciding pondering might seem clearer somewhere else, he walked out and went to his car, starting it up and rearing off. He would go where he always went when he dropped himself in it. There he could think about her all he wanted. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After clearing the glass, broken bits of plant pot and vase away Buffy had laid herself down on the couch, her mother's picture in her arms, hugged close to her chest near her heart and cried once more.
She was seething. Those were her mother's favourite things and had been placed where they were so everyone could see that but now..now no one would ever know. She knew deep down Spike hadn't meant to break those things but still, if he hadn't of snuck in and acted like the fool that he was then the items wouldn't be broken and she could go back to trying to feel nothing. If that wasn't bad enough, he had been trying to steal some of her stuff !
No. She didn't want to think about that, she didn't want to think about anything. Many things floated through her mind but she always pushed them out again. Thoughts mostly of Dawn and her friends, she hoped her sister was ok and that her friends were coping too but then if she cared about them and thought of them someone was sure to come along and take them away too so not caring was the best option.
She needed to think tonight though. Somewhere peaceful and quiet. Where no one could bother her...
She got up and put on her coat and left for the place she went so often to think about things as much as she wanted.