Chapter
Confessions
Authors Note: This is going to be one of my famous 'looking back on it now.' chapters. I hope you all enjoy it and sorry if you don't. It's short and has little dialogue [which I personally love]. Yes. I was right about my beta-reader being busy cramming for school. I know how that goes and I want my chapters to get up sooner so I'm putting them my self. If you cant bare to read my bad grammar and what not than don't. So anyway Review!
-Tristan POV
· * * *
Her eyes asked and challenged me to over come my addiction. Understanding that it's impossible, I faithful stare into the dept of blue. New light shines into her blue tranquility and I never have to rapidly strive to acknowledge her beauty. Her essence is natural to a tip of perfection and often overwhelms someone like me, who usually doesn't crave another, someone who usually has no reason to fall in love. Someone who now is in way over his head and fails to get out of the trap he recently got into. It's a trap that I fail over and over again to understand. A trap that I framed my self in, that is solitarily dedicated to no other than Rory Gilmore.
Here I am, sitting out on our balcony, over looking the stars of the grand sky. Having nothing to say because awkward moments do have a way of ruining things. All I could do, all I could think of, is that the person that makes my heart skip a thousand different ways and is sitting beside me, for the first time in a long time we haven't said a word to each other. I just watch as her eyes start to give in every minuet or so. I watch her fighting the temptation to get sleep because she doesn't want to leave me just yet. The stranger it gets, the deeper my love grows for her. I really don't know what we plan on doing or how we want to go about each other, but I do know that were here now. Fate has a dramatic way of making things happen and I guess we have to wait to see.
* * * * It all happened 2 days ago.
"Who do you love Rory? Me or Tristan?" Luis persisted on asking another time.
Things were getting awkward and although I wanted to stick up for Rory, to tell Luis to leave her alone, I also wanted to know the answer to his question. My mind kept telling me to walk away, so that I wont have to listen to the answer and feel my heart turn cold. Something kept me there, frozen on the spot, not having a word to say and just listening to the bitterness in Luis's voice. Rory blushed, her face turning almost cherry crimson. She didn't seem embarrassed or confused, just angry.
"Where did Tristan ever come up between us?"
I could tell it was the only question she could think of. It was so like Rory to answer a question for a question. She was taking her sweet time with her answer, either to ease my pain and give me sympathy or to show Luis that she's boss. Either way I would be the one getting hurt in the end.
"Answer my question."
"Answer mine." She shot back, venom seeping through her voice.
"He hasn't come up." His answer was honest, avoiding eye contact with me. "But I see the way you look at him and hear the way you speak of him."
"He's my best friend!" She defended, stiffening at her own words.
Her statement stabbed at my heart and at that point I was ready to give up. Say goodbye to Lorelai and walk away from this disaster. When I was about to turn away she shot me a look and opened her mouth to speak.
"Tristan." Her words were soft and agonizing.
I looked down at her, avoided her eyes and said. "I'm going to go say bye to your Mom and head home." I sounded so stupid blabbering off, but I didn't know what else to say.
She looked at me, tears gathering in her eyes, and choked out 'No.'
"No." Luis spoke up, his voice high and sarcastic. "Don't go Tristan, were almost at the good part."
Rory through up her hands, defeat in her voice and said, "I can't handle this!"
She went to walk away, but Luis grabbed her arm and pulled her back. I tensed up, instantaneously going into defense mode.
"Where are you going? You still haven't answered my question. Please I insist, tell the truth for once in your life."
She jerked her arm away and looked at him in disgust. "How much have you had to drink?" She asked, a stern expression on her face.
"I didn't have anything to drink."
"You smell like liquor."
"I said that I didn't have anything!" He yelled, his voice full of anger.
"I never loved you!" She spit it out, as if she held it in for so long. Her anger seeping through her words and dangers cutting from her eyes directed toward him. It was like she immediately tried catching her words and put her hands to her mouth.
His face fell wearily and he through his hands down to his sides. "What?" He asked taken aback by her comment.
"You heard me." She swallowed and her innocence returned. Her shyness came over her and she stuck her hands in her pockets. "I'm sorry." Her voice mellowed, sincerely pronouncing her words. "I care, but I don't love."
My heart started to feel luminosity and I couldn't think of a reaction to her comment, so I stood there. I watched as his eyes watered up and she melted at the sight. I watched, as she looked as if she was moving leisurely to get closer to him. She looked as if she wanted to hold him in her arms one last time.
He opened his eyes, looked at her and began to tear. Cursing under his breath with every shed of emotion that leaked from his eyes. "I hate you."
She started to cry herself and I wanted to run over to her and wipe her tears away. "I'm sorry." She said another time.
He shook his head, avoiding her eye contact and swallowing the lump in his throat. "I don't hate you." He said the words so carefully. "I can never hate you, but maybe you should think before you play games with a person."
She softly sighed in relief, nodded gradually and said, "I know." Looking at me, she sighed for a second time and this time it was full of regret.
Luis didn't say another word; he just walked over to his car, got in and drove off. I watched him drive away, hoping that he was alright to drive and watched as Rory bit her bottom lip, probably hoping the same thing.
Rory turned toward me, apologizing through her eyes and slowly walked over to me. She looked into my eyes and took my hand, pulling me into a hug. The hug was full of emotions and misguidance. I just stood there and hugged her back, letting her cry on my shoulder. It was at that moment when I realized how much I missed our friendship. "I love you." It was only a faint whisper, but my ears didn't deceive me and I stood silently shocked.
End of flashback
· * * *
After that experience with Luis, nothing really happened between Rory and I. We just went home together and lay in bed. I was contemplating what just happened and Rory didn't want to speak. The morning after, we went to get coffee and went off to our classes. We barely spoke, but our vibe was back and I missed it.
I still don't know what's happening between us and I feel confused. The one thing I do know is that I can't loose her again. If friendship is all she wants from me, then I can live with that. Right now I just have to wait until she opens up to me and lets me know what she's feeling. I don't know what to make off her words 'I love you' because her meaning could be through friendship and I don't want to get ahead of my self. Hopefully in appropriate time she clears my thoughts. She never loved him, but didn't select me and it might be egocentric of me, but I'm content to know she doesn't love him. Sometime I want to feel like a bad person being so over defensive of Rory, but I never do and I guess that's due to my love for her. All I need is for her to look at me with those pretty blue eyes and read me her heart through open words. Although now I'm enjoying cuddling under the vast sky and reminiscing of past nights when this happened on an ordinary basis. She was; always will be my best friend, soul mate and potential weakness.
Dun Dun Dun
Did you like it? I liked it because Tristan is still wondering but now their friends again. I promise it wont take long for her feelings to come out. Most likely I'll do that in the next chapter. I want things to happen slowly because slow is Rory. Rory was always slow with new feelings and what not so. Even in my future fic that's not changing. Also I know that her burst out towards Luis was a little too harsh for her but just pictured her throwing one of her little fits. you know? And anyway I like writing her the way I want so . hope you like it. Review! Review! Review!
Confessions
Authors Note: This is going to be one of my famous 'looking back on it now.' chapters. I hope you all enjoy it and sorry if you don't. It's short and has little dialogue [which I personally love]. Yes. I was right about my beta-reader being busy cramming for school. I know how that goes and I want my chapters to get up sooner so I'm putting them my self. If you cant bare to read my bad grammar and what not than don't. So anyway Review!
-Tristan POV
· * * *
Her eyes asked and challenged me to over come my addiction. Understanding that it's impossible, I faithful stare into the dept of blue. New light shines into her blue tranquility and I never have to rapidly strive to acknowledge her beauty. Her essence is natural to a tip of perfection and often overwhelms someone like me, who usually doesn't crave another, someone who usually has no reason to fall in love. Someone who now is in way over his head and fails to get out of the trap he recently got into. It's a trap that I fail over and over again to understand. A trap that I framed my self in, that is solitarily dedicated to no other than Rory Gilmore.
Here I am, sitting out on our balcony, over looking the stars of the grand sky. Having nothing to say because awkward moments do have a way of ruining things. All I could do, all I could think of, is that the person that makes my heart skip a thousand different ways and is sitting beside me, for the first time in a long time we haven't said a word to each other. I just watch as her eyes start to give in every minuet or so. I watch her fighting the temptation to get sleep because she doesn't want to leave me just yet. The stranger it gets, the deeper my love grows for her. I really don't know what we plan on doing or how we want to go about each other, but I do know that were here now. Fate has a dramatic way of making things happen and I guess we have to wait to see.
* * * * It all happened 2 days ago.
"Who do you love Rory? Me or Tristan?" Luis persisted on asking another time.
Things were getting awkward and although I wanted to stick up for Rory, to tell Luis to leave her alone, I also wanted to know the answer to his question. My mind kept telling me to walk away, so that I wont have to listen to the answer and feel my heart turn cold. Something kept me there, frozen on the spot, not having a word to say and just listening to the bitterness in Luis's voice. Rory blushed, her face turning almost cherry crimson. She didn't seem embarrassed or confused, just angry.
"Where did Tristan ever come up between us?"
I could tell it was the only question she could think of. It was so like Rory to answer a question for a question. She was taking her sweet time with her answer, either to ease my pain and give me sympathy or to show Luis that she's boss. Either way I would be the one getting hurt in the end.
"Answer my question."
"Answer mine." She shot back, venom seeping through her voice.
"He hasn't come up." His answer was honest, avoiding eye contact with me. "But I see the way you look at him and hear the way you speak of him."
"He's my best friend!" She defended, stiffening at her own words.
Her statement stabbed at my heart and at that point I was ready to give up. Say goodbye to Lorelai and walk away from this disaster. When I was about to turn away she shot me a look and opened her mouth to speak.
"Tristan." Her words were soft and agonizing.
I looked down at her, avoided her eyes and said. "I'm going to go say bye to your Mom and head home." I sounded so stupid blabbering off, but I didn't know what else to say.
She looked at me, tears gathering in her eyes, and choked out 'No.'
"No." Luis spoke up, his voice high and sarcastic. "Don't go Tristan, were almost at the good part."
Rory through up her hands, defeat in her voice and said, "I can't handle this!"
She went to walk away, but Luis grabbed her arm and pulled her back. I tensed up, instantaneously going into defense mode.
"Where are you going? You still haven't answered my question. Please I insist, tell the truth for once in your life."
She jerked her arm away and looked at him in disgust. "How much have you had to drink?" She asked, a stern expression on her face.
"I didn't have anything to drink."
"You smell like liquor."
"I said that I didn't have anything!" He yelled, his voice full of anger.
"I never loved you!" She spit it out, as if she held it in for so long. Her anger seeping through her words and dangers cutting from her eyes directed toward him. It was like she immediately tried catching her words and put her hands to her mouth.
His face fell wearily and he through his hands down to his sides. "What?" He asked taken aback by her comment.
"You heard me." She swallowed and her innocence returned. Her shyness came over her and she stuck her hands in her pockets. "I'm sorry." Her voice mellowed, sincerely pronouncing her words. "I care, but I don't love."
My heart started to feel luminosity and I couldn't think of a reaction to her comment, so I stood there. I watched as his eyes watered up and she melted at the sight. I watched, as she looked as if she was moving leisurely to get closer to him. She looked as if she wanted to hold him in her arms one last time.
He opened his eyes, looked at her and began to tear. Cursing under his breath with every shed of emotion that leaked from his eyes. "I hate you."
She started to cry herself and I wanted to run over to her and wipe her tears away. "I'm sorry." She said another time.
He shook his head, avoiding her eye contact and swallowing the lump in his throat. "I don't hate you." He said the words so carefully. "I can never hate you, but maybe you should think before you play games with a person."
She softly sighed in relief, nodded gradually and said, "I know." Looking at me, she sighed for a second time and this time it was full of regret.
Luis didn't say another word; he just walked over to his car, got in and drove off. I watched him drive away, hoping that he was alright to drive and watched as Rory bit her bottom lip, probably hoping the same thing.
Rory turned toward me, apologizing through her eyes and slowly walked over to me. She looked into my eyes and took my hand, pulling me into a hug. The hug was full of emotions and misguidance. I just stood there and hugged her back, letting her cry on my shoulder. It was at that moment when I realized how much I missed our friendship. "I love you." It was only a faint whisper, but my ears didn't deceive me and I stood silently shocked.
End of flashback
· * * *
After that experience with Luis, nothing really happened between Rory and I. We just went home together and lay in bed. I was contemplating what just happened and Rory didn't want to speak. The morning after, we went to get coffee and went off to our classes. We barely spoke, but our vibe was back and I missed it.
I still don't know what's happening between us and I feel confused. The one thing I do know is that I can't loose her again. If friendship is all she wants from me, then I can live with that. Right now I just have to wait until she opens up to me and lets me know what she's feeling. I don't know what to make off her words 'I love you' because her meaning could be through friendship and I don't want to get ahead of my self. Hopefully in appropriate time she clears my thoughts. She never loved him, but didn't select me and it might be egocentric of me, but I'm content to know she doesn't love him. Sometime I want to feel like a bad person being so over defensive of Rory, but I never do and I guess that's due to my love for her. All I need is for her to look at me with those pretty blue eyes and read me her heart through open words. Although now I'm enjoying cuddling under the vast sky and reminiscing of past nights when this happened on an ordinary basis. She was; always will be my best friend, soul mate and potential weakness.
Dun Dun Dun
Did you like it? I liked it because Tristan is still wondering but now their friends again. I promise it wont take long for her feelings to come out. Most likely I'll do that in the next chapter. I want things to happen slowly because slow is Rory. Rory was always slow with new feelings and what not so. Even in my future fic that's not changing. Also I know that her burst out towards Luis was a little too harsh for her but just pictured her throwing one of her little fits. you know? And anyway I like writing her the way I want so . hope you like it. Review! Review! Review!