Don't ask where this came from. Please don't. Because I have no idea. We
all know and HATE those Mary Sues, right? You know, when the girl-who-knows-
all-sees-all-and-does-all joins the Fellowship and everyone falls in love
with her. Well, what if said Mary Sue was, in fact, a guy trapped in her
body. And not just any guy, but your typical moronic macho you-know-you-
want-it homophobic gangsta'/punk/rapper wannabe. Like I said, please don't
ask.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Mike, Alena, all the stupid lackeys (none of which are likely to be returning after this chapter) and Brad. Although I have to admit, Brad's character is shamelessly taken from Brad from the Smirnoff Ice commercial. That's hilarious.
"Hey, baby. Whadya say you and me get to know each other later tonight, ya know what I mean?" Brad had cornered another girl in front of her locker.
"You're disgusting," was her answer. "Get out of my way."
"Aw, come on hot stuff. You know you want me."
"Um, no." Whatever Brad was going to say next was cut off as the pretty brunette kneed him sharply in the groin and marched off. As Brad hunched over, grabbing the lockers for support, his friend's laughed at him until they were nearly pissing their pants.
"Dude, Brad got beat by a chick."
"Shut up, man," Brad said in an unnaturally high voice. This, of course, set his friends off into hysterics again.
"Wow, what a surprise. Brad's made a fool of himself yet again."
"Go to hell," Brad muttered, glaring at his sister, Alena. She rolled her eyes, the same green as his.
"How unbelievably original. Somebody catch me before I keel over from shock." Mike, Brad's best friend, made a move to catch her. "Don't touch me you abhorrent brute." Mike looked somewhat confused. He leaned over to the guy next to him.
"Dude, that's a compliment, right?" Rolling her eyes again, Alena turned back to her brother.
"What is with you and that hair anyway?" Brad's hair, which was normally dark brown, had silver and red streaks in it.
"It's Bradmeister hair, man. Everything about it says 'Brad'."
"Really? The impression I got was more, 'Hello, I am a complete fool.'"
"Don't make me hurt you."
"Like you could," Alena scoffed. Although Brad was a few inches taller and had a thicker build, he didn't exactly have the capabilities of beating her up. Most of the school was scared of him, but stories that would provoke that fear tended to be exaggerated slightly. To the point where they could be famous fairy tales. All the same, Brad couldn't let his macho reputation be ruined by his sister.
"Wanna bet?" he asked, standing over her.
"Well, as much as I would so LOVE to see you become the complete laughing stock of the school again, I have better things to do with my time. I just wanted to remind you to pick up those motion sickness pills after school." Brad flushed slightly.
"Why can't you get them?"
"Because I have drama. Besides, they're YOUR pills." Brad turned a deeper shade of red, and his friends started tittering quietly. Yes, tittering.
"Fine, fine, I'll get them. Just shut up already." Smirking, Alena walked away.
"Motion sickness pills?" Mike repeated incredulously, as they all left a building. "You wuss."
"I'm not a wuss," Brad protested.
"Yes you are."
"I'm not."
"Dude, you need motion sickness pills."
"It runs in my family. It's heredi-something or other. Something to do with my pants."
"What the hell? Man, you are serious fucked up. And a wuss."
"I am not a god dammed wuss."
"Prove it."
"Fine, I will. What do you want me to do?" Thinking for a moment, Mike pointed across the road to a construction site. A long beam lay over a deep pit.
"Walk over that beam."
"Are you serious?"
"What, are you chicken?" The other lackeys started making sounds that could vaguely be described as chicken (after being stepped on by an elephant and smothered in crocodile dung).
"No, I'll do it." Gingerly, Brad started out over the beam. He got to the middle of it, turned around, and looked at them. "Yeah, I'm such a wuss."
"Look out!" Mike yelled. As Brad spun around, they all started laughing. They kind of stopped though, when Brad lost his balance and fell into the pit.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Mike, Alena, all the stupid lackeys (none of which are likely to be returning after this chapter) and Brad. Although I have to admit, Brad's character is shamelessly taken from Brad from the Smirnoff Ice commercial. That's hilarious.
"Hey, baby. Whadya say you and me get to know each other later tonight, ya know what I mean?" Brad had cornered another girl in front of her locker.
"You're disgusting," was her answer. "Get out of my way."
"Aw, come on hot stuff. You know you want me."
"Um, no." Whatever Brad was going to say next was cut off as the pretty brunette kneed him sharply in the groin and marched off. As Brad hunched over, grabbing the lockers for support, his friend's laughed at him until they were nearly pissing their pants.
"Dude, Brad got beat by a chick."
"Shut up, man," Brad said in an unnaturally high voice. This, of course, set his friends off into hysterics again.
"Wow, what a surprise. Brad's made a fool of himself yet again."
"Go to hell," Brad muttered, glaring at his sister, Alena. She rolled her eyes, the same green as his.
"How unbelievably original. Somebody catch me before I keel over from shock." Mike, Brad's best friend, made a move to catch her. "Don't touch me you abhorrent brute." Mike looked somewhat confused. He leaned over to the guy next to him.
"Dude, that's a compliment, right?" Rolling her eyes again, Alena turned back to her brother.
"What is with you and that hair anyway?" Brad's hair, which was normally dark brown, had silver and red streaks in it.
"It's Bradmeister hair, man. Everything about it says 'Brad'."
"Really? The impression I got was more, 'Hello, I am a complete fool.'"
"Don't make me hurt you."
"Like you could," Alena scoffed. Although Brad was a few inches taller and had a thicker build, he didn't exactly have the capabilities of beating her up. Most of the school was scared of him, but stories that would provoke that fear tended to be exaggerated slightly. To the point where they could be famous fairy tales. All the same, Brad couldn't let his macho reputation be ruined by his sister.
"Wanna bet?" he asked, standing over her.
"Well, as much as I would so LOVE to see you become the complete laughing stock of the school again, I have better things to do with my time. I just wanted to remind you to pick up those motion sickness pills after school." Brad flushed slightly.
"Why can't you get them?"
"Because I have drama. Besides, they're YOUR pills." Brad turned a deeper shade of red, and his friends started tittering quietly. Yes, tittering.
"Fine, fine, I'll get them. Just shut up already." Smirking, Alena walked away.
"Motion sickness pills?" Mike repeated incredulously, as they all left a building. "You wuss."
"I'm not a wuss," Brad protested.
"Yes you are."
"I'm not."
"Dude, you need motion sickness pills."
"It runs in my family. It's heredi-something or other. Something to do with my pants."
"What the hell? Man, you are serious fucked up. And a wuss."
"I am not a god dammed wuss."
"Prove it."
"Fine, I will. What do you want me to do?" Thinking for a moment, Mike pointed across the road to a construction site. A long beam lay over a deep pit.
"Walk over that beam."
"Are you serious?"
"What, are you chicken?" The other lackeys started making sounds that could vaguely be described as chicken (after being stepped on by an elephant and smothered in crocodile dung).
"No, I'll do it." Gingerly, Brad started out over the beam. He got to the middle of it, turned around, and looked at them. "Yeah, I'm such a wuss."
"Look out!" Mike yelled. As Brad spun around, they all started laughing. They kind of stopped though, when Brad lost his balance and fell into the pit.