Chapter Five
Ethan couldn't sleep. Again.
That was the one big problem with making Lizzie the target for the Game, he was discovering…the lack of sex made it increasingly difficult for him to fall asleep at night. He couldn't remember the last time in his life he'd been this…frustrated…this hopelessly excited, and taking care of himself just wasn't working like it had when he was younger.
Well, hell, he was 17 years old. He was SUPPOSED to be horny all the time, wasn't he? And as much as he knew that he could walk down the school hallway every day and have his choice of women ready and willing, he wouldn't do that. Rules were rules, and he was sticking to them.
The next woman he would be with would be Lizzie McGuire.
He was making progress with Lizzie, finding more and more time alone with her, always offering himself up as a friendly shoulder to cry on. As of yet, she hadn't really taken advantage of that, but one day she would, he knew it. She was definitely softening towards him, she'd even apologized for calling him gay, which he found absolutely hysterical. Lizzie apologized. To HIM. Pretty amazing, right?
Ethan's ears perked up at the sound of a soft sniffle in the hallway, and he sat up, listening intently. He'd been making a regular habit of walking around the hotel late at night, hoping to catch Lizzie out and about again, but it hadn't happened since that night at the hotel pool. Maybe his luck was about to change?
He waited a few minutes, only hearing silence, before deciding he might as well go out and see if anything was going on. He threw a t-shirt on over his boxers, and grabbed his room key, stepping out into the hallway.
Ethan looked up and down the hallway, his gaze falling on the balcony at one end of the hall. He'd been out there earlier, staring out at the view over the city. It was a beautiful night, and he loved looking up at the stars. Maybe someone else did too?
He heard a sob, followed by the same sniffle he'd heard before, and nodded slowly. Yup, definitely someone else did. As much as he wanted to see Lizzie tonight, he couldn't help but hope that it wasn't her out there crying….he didn't want her to be upset. He wanted her to be happy, always, the smartass woman that never hesitated to give him some lip. Not sad, not sick…she deserved to be happy.
He walked down the hallway and stepped outside, his face falling when he saw Lizzie curled up on the bench, her head in her hands, crying her eyes out. He stood there for a moment, waiting for her to notice him, but she was lost in her own world. He finally said her name softly, smiling apologetically when she jumped. "What's wrong?"
Lizzie sniffled and shook her head, wiping her eyes. "Nothing."
Ethan chuckled softly and sat down next to her, sliding an arm over her shoulders. "I keep telling you I'm not that blonde."
"Don't, Ethan, please," Lizzie said weakly, trying to push him away. "Just go." She didn't want to be consoled, not tonight. She just wanted to be left alone to cry, and wallow in some self-pity for once.
"I can't leave you out here like this, nope," he replied, refusing to let her go. "What happened?"
Lizzie hiccupped through her tears, and snorted, "nothing."
"Lizzie," Ethan said in frustration. "I told you…"
"Really, Ethan, nothing happened," she sniffled and let him pull her into his chest, shuddering from the warmth of his embrace. Why did it feel like it had been forever since a guy had held her like this… "That's the whole problem."
"What'd Gordo do?" Ethan asked softly, pushing her hair away from her face.
Lizzie looked up at him, unable to stop herself from tilting her head into his hand. "As I said, nothing," she said softly.
Ethan's breath left his lungs as her eyes met his, his heart pounding in his chest. Dear god, she was beautiful. Even with her face splotchy from her crying, and her brown eyes turning red from her tears, she was absolutely stunning. His body was reacting to her in a way he'd never felt before, every single muscle tightening, his entire being screaming to be with her. "You'll feel better if you talk about it," he finally found his voice, wincing when it cracked.
"I don't think so," she replied, sighing when he shifted her so he could slide his other arm around her waist. "Ethan…"
"You shouldn't be alone out here," Ethan said firmly, tightening his arms around her. "Even if you don't want to talk, just let me stay here with you, ok?"
Lizzie began to cry again, and she buried her head in his chest, nodding slowly. "Thank you," she murmured. She didn't deserve this, Ethan being so sweet to her…why was he doing this?
Ethan didn't reply, he just looked down at her, smiling lightly when he felt her tears seep through his t-shirt. He held her in silence for a while, Lizzie's face pressed tightly against his chest, his eyes trailing from the beauty of the stars above to the beauty in his arms. Was it possible for Lizzie to outshine the stars, he wondered? It sure seemed to him like she did….
"Am I attractive?"
Ethan's heart stopped beating at the solemn question, and his body tensed as he looked down at Lizzie curiously. "What?"
Lizzie sat up, one hand running along Ethan's arm absentmindedly. "Do you think I'm attractive?" She asked again, the expression on her face one of complete sorrow.
Ethan's eyes widened in surprise, and he nodded firmly. "Lizzie, you're beautiful," he said seriously.
She sighed, and looked up at the stars, "sure I am."
"I wouldn't lie to you," he replied, feeling a pang of guilt at his words. Not about THAT, anyway…
"I shouldn't have asked, forget it," Lizzie ran a hand through her hair, and frowned. "Stupid question."
"Lizzie," Ethan put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You are incredibly beautiful, and sexy, and Gordo is a goddamn fool for messing things up with you badly enough that you're out here asking ME that question."
Lizzie's lower lip trembled, and she looked away from Ethan, "you're just saying that to make me feel better."
"Trust me, Lizzie, I would gladly show you how much I meant that…" Ethan's words trailed off as he realized what he was saying, and he dropped his hand, smiling meekly. "You know what I mean."
"Really?" Lizzie asked softly, still unable to look at Ethan as she spoke. "You really would? Me?"
"God yes," Ethan whispered, staring at her with his eyes wide. Was this it? His chance to win the Game? She was asking…but she wasn't asking because she wanted him, she was asking because Gordo had done something. His heart pounded in his chest as he considered kissing her, the mere thought of his lips touching hers sending shivers down his spine. Actually kissing her would be an experience he would never forget, he was sure of that.
Lizzie stared into space for a few minutes as Ethan contemplated his options, before she looked at him, her eyes wide. "If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"
"I told you I'd never lie to you," Ethan replied solemnly. "I meant that." Sort of.
"I mean, I think you're actually a good guy under all of that bravado shit you put on, and I really need an honest answer," Lizzie said, looking into his eyes. "Please?"
"Sure."
"Is Gordo having cheating on me?"
Ethan's eyes widened at the question, and he shook his head quickly, "no!"
Lizzie bit her lip hard as new tears filled her eyes, and she bowed her head, "shit."
"Why do you think, jesus, Lizzie," Ethan stammered, looking at her in surprise. "Gordo would be an idiot to fuck things up with you like that."
"I almost wish he was," Lizzie said sadly. "At least then there'd be a reason…"
"Reason for what?"
"You've been in relationships that have gone bad before, right?"
Ethan nodded slowly, "sure."
"Why is it that you never notice that things are going wrong, until it's gone bad? Like, you never notice the little things, until you're looking back over months and wondering…how the hell did we get here?" Lizzie looked at him, and sighed. "That probably didn't make any sense."
"No, it did," Ethan said softly. "One day you just wake up and wonder, what in the world went wrong."
"Exactly," Lizzie nodded. "The not knowing is awful."
"Yeah," Ethan agreed. "You wonder if it's you, or them, or…"
Lizzie smiled weakly, "you do understand."
"Yup," Ethan ran his hand through Lizzie's hair, smoothing it down her back. "But you and Gordo are engaged, it's different than me and my stupid ex."
"Just because I'm wearing his ring doesn't mean things can't go wrong."
"I guess."
"I think, it seems like, I mean," Lizzie was stopped by a sob, and she let Ethan pull her in for another tight hug as she cried. "He doesn't want me anymore," she choked out.
Ethan was thankful Lizzie was too consumed by her tears to notice the horror on his face at her words. What the fuck was Gordo doing to her?? She deserved so much better, jesus christ, hell, if Gordo didn't want her, Ethan sure as hell did. "Why do you say that?" He asked the obvious question, struggling to keep his raging emotions out of his voice.
"He won't touch me, not at all," Lizzie confessed in a shaky voice, now that she'd started talking to Ethan, everything was just spilling out. "He always says he's too tired, he needs to sleep, but, goddammit, I need him!"
"Maybe he's just tired?" Ethan offered.
"But, but," Lizzie shook her head as she cried. "He's a man! I mean, I thought guys never turn down women like this, not when they try this hard…" she wiped her nose on her hand, and bit her lip. "Totally humiliating, to just be turned down flat, by my own fiance."
"That's what he did?"
Lizzie nodded, and sat up, her hands playing with the bottom of her sweatshirt. "I got this," she lifted up the sweatshirt, revealing the blue silk teddy underneath. She watched Ethan's face carefully as he looked her over, smiling lightly when his eyes widened appreciatively. "So you like it?"
Ethan's hands clenched into tight fists, and he bit his lip hard before replying, "yes." HELL yes, it was taking all of his strength not to throw her down and show her just how much he liked it.
"Gordo said he did too," Lizzie dropped the sweatshirt, and sighed. "Apparently he just didn't like it enough."
"I don't know what to say, Lizzie, maybe he really was just tired," Ethan said, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. He looked up at the sky, wishing with all of his heart that he wasn't so determined to play the Game right. Goddamn, he'd never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Lizzie at that exact moment. She was in desperate need of affection, she was wearing…god…THAT…she was in his arms, and he wasn't going to do a thing because of his stupid rules.
"Once upon a time, Gordo was more than willing to forgo sleep to be with me," Lizzie said sadly, not noticing Ethan's discomfort.
"This is our senior year, it's been really stressful on us all…"
"He's been keeping this kind of schedule before, with less sleep."
"He's really tired?" Ethan said weakly.
"Right," Lizzie frowned, and ran a hand through her hair. "Really damn tired."
"I don't know what to say, Lizzie," Ethan looked into her eyes, and smiled at her. "I can't imagine not wanting to be with you every minute of every day, so I don't know what's going through Gordo's head. All I can think is that he must have a reason for it, and maybe it really is just that he's tired?"
A corner of Lizzie's lips curled up into a small smile, "every minute of every day, huh?"
"Oh, baby, I'd make love to you until you couldn't see straight," Ethan said with a grin. "Non stop, I swear."
"You'd get sick of me too, I bet."
"Never," Ethan replied honestly. "Especially if you keep wearing stuff like that blue thing," he waggled his eyebrows at her and winked.
That got Lizzie laughing, and she blushed. "Thanks."
"Maybe you should just talk to Gordo?"
Lizzie nodded slowly, her expression growing sad again. "I have to, yeah."
"But keep smiling," Ethan said, tilting his head to look her in the eyes. "You have the most amazing smile I've ever seen."
"I don't much feel like smiling," Lizzie said softly.
"Want me to drop my pants, then?" Ethan offered, grinning. "After all, you pulled up your shirt."
"No, no, no," Lizzie said quickly, shaking her head as she laughed. "I swear I don't need to see that again."
"Well, hell, now I'm insulted," Ethan said, putting on his best pout. "Should I be asking you if I'm attractive, now? I mean, you've seen it all, right?"
"Ethan," Lizzie ran her hand along the side of his face, and smiled. "You are extremely attractive, and a wonderful friend," she said sincerely, before kissing his cheek. "Thank you for being here tonight." She stood up and stretched, not noticing the dark flush that creeped across Ethan's face from the quick kiss. "I'm going to try to get some sleep."
"Good night, Lizzie," Ethan said, watching her leave. He touched the side of his cheek, his entire face feeling like it was on fire from the soft touch of her lips. Goddamn his stupid Game…he could have HAD her, that was pretty damn apparent.
He would, in time, he would.
Until then…he smiled as he relived the feeling of her lips pressed against his skin. She'd kissed his cheek. It was a start.
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Ethan couldn't sleep. Again.
That was the one big problem with making Lizzie the target for the Game, he was discovering…the lack of sex made it increasingly difficult for him to fall asleep at night. He couldn't remember the last time in his life he'd been this…frustrated…this hopelessly excited, and taking care of himself just wasn't working like it had when he was younger.
Well, hell, he was 17 years old. He was SUPPOSED to be horny all the time, wasn't he? And as much as he knew that he could walk down the school hallway every day and have his choice of women ready and willing, he wouldn't do that. Rules were rules, and he was sticking to them.
The next woman he would be with would be Lizzie McGuire.
He was making progress with Lizzie, finding more and more time alone with her, always offering himself up as a friendly shoulder to cry on. As of yet, she hadn't really taken advantage of that, but one day she would, he knew it. She was definitely softening towards him, she'd even apologized for calling him gay, which he found absolutely hysterical. Lizzie apologized. To HIM. Pretty amazing, right?
Ethan's ears perked up at the sound of a soft sniffle in the hallway, and he sat up, listening intently. He'd been making a regular habit of walking around the hotel late at night, hoping to catch Lizzie out and about again, but it hadn't happened since that night at the hotel pool. Maybe his luck was about to change?
He waited a few minutes, only hearing silence, before deciding he might as well go out and see if anything was going on. He threw a t-shirt on over his boxers, and grabbed his room key, stepping out into the hallway.
Ethan looked up and down the hallway, his gaze falling on the balcony at one end of the hall. He'd been out there earlier, staring out at the view over the city. It was a beautiful night, and he loved looking up at the stars. Maybe someone else did too?
He heard a sob, followed by the same sniffle he'd heard before, and nodded slowly. Yup, definitely someone else did. As much as he wanted to see Lizzie tonight, he couldn't help but hope that it wasn't her out there crying….he didn't want her to be upset. He wanted her to be happy, always, the smartass woman that never hesitated to give him some lip. Not sad, not sick…she deserved to be happy.
He walked down the hallway and stepped outside, his face falling when he saw Lizzie curled up on the bench, her head in her hands, crying her eyes out. He stood there for a moment, waiting for her to notice him, but she was lost in her own world. He finally said her name softly, smiling apologetically when she jumped. "What's wrong?"
Lizzie sniffled and shook her head, wiping her eyes. "Nothing."
Ethan chuckled softly and sat down next to her, sliding an arm over her shoulders. "I keep telling you I'm not that blonde."
"Don't, Ethan, please," Lizzie said weakly, trying to push him away. "Just go." She didn't want to be consoled, not tonight. She just wanted to be left alone to cry, and wallow in some self-pity for once.
"I can't leave you out here like this, nope," he replied, refusing to let her go. "What happened?"
Lizzie hiccupped through her tears, and snorted, "nothing."
"Lizzie," Ethan said in frustration. "I told you…"
"Really, Ethan, nothing happened," she sniffled and let him pull her into his chest, shuddering from the warmth of his embrace. Why did it feel like it had been forever since a guy had held her like this… "That's the whole problem."
"What'd Gordo do?" Ethan asked softly, pushing her hair away from her face.
Lizzie looked up at him, unable to stop herself from tilting her head into his hand. "As I said, nothing," she said softly.
Ethan's breath left his lungs as her eyes met his, his heart pounding in his chest. Dear god, she was beautiful. Even with her face splotchy from her crying, and her brown eyes turning red from her tears, she was absolutely stunning. His body was reacting to her in a way he'd never felt before, every single muscle tightening, his entire being screaming to be with her. "You'll feel better if you talk about it," he finally found his voice, wincing when it cracked.
"I don't think so," she replied, sighing when he shifted her so he could slide his other arm around her waist. "Ethan…"
"You shouldn't be alone out here," Ethan said firmly, tightening his arms around her. "Even if you don't want to talk, just let me stay here with you, ok?"
Lizzie began to cry again, and she buried her head in his chest, nodding slowly. "Thank you," she murmured. She didn't deserve this, Ethan being so sweet to her…why was he doing this?
Ethan didn't reply, he just looked down at her, smiling lightly when he felt her tears seep through his t-shirt. He held her in silence for a while, Lizzie's face pressed tightly against his chest, his eyes trailing from the beauty of the stars above to the beauty in his arms. Was it possible for Lizzie to outshine the stars, he wondered? It sure seemed to him like she did….
"Am I attractive?"
Ethan's heart stopped beating at the solemn question, and his body tensed as he looked down at Lizzie curiously. "What?"
Lizzie sat up, one hand running along Ethan's arm absentmindedly. "Do you think I'm attractive?" She asked again, the expression on her face one of complete sorrow.
Ethan's eyes widened in surprise, and he nodded firmly. "Lizzie, you're beautiful," he said seriously.
She sighed, and looked up at the stars, "sure I am."
"I wouldn't lie to you," he replied, feeling a pang of guilt at his words. Not about THAT, anyway…
"I shouldn't have asked, forget it," Lizzie ran a hand through her hair, and frowned. "Stupid question."
"Lizzie," Ethan put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You are incredibly beautiful, and sexy, and Gordo is a goddamn fool for messing things up with you badly enough that you're out here asking ME that question."
Lizzie's lower lip trembled, and she looked away from Ethan, "you're just saying that to make me feel better."
"Trust me, Lizzie, I would gladly show you how much I meant that…" Ethan's words trailed off as he realized what he was saying, and he dropped his hand, smiling meekly. "You know what I mean."
"Really?" Lizzie asked softly, still unable to look at Ethan as she spoke. "You really would? Me?"
"God yes," Ethan whispered, staring at her with his eyes wide. Was this it? His chance to win the Game? She was asking…but she wasn't asking because she wanted him, she was asking because Gordo had done something. His heart pounded in his chest as he considered kissing her, the mere thought of his lips touching hers sending shivers down his spine. Actually kissing her would be an experience he would never forget, he was sure of that.
Lizzie stared into space for a few minutes as Ethan contemplated his options, before she looked at him, her eyes wide. "If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"
"I told you I'd never lie to you," Ethan replied solemnly. "I meant that." Sort of.
"I mean, I think you're actually a good guy under all of that bravado shit you put on, and I really need an honest answer," Lizzie said, looking into his eyes. "Please?"
"Sure."
"Is Gordo having cheating on me?"
Ethan's eyes widened at the question, and he shook his head quickly, "no!"
Lizzie bit her lip hard as new tears filled her eyes, and she bowed her head, "shit."
"Why do you think, jesus, Lizzie," Ethan stammered, looking at her in surprise. "Gordo would be an idiot to fuck things up with you like that."
"I almost wish he was," Lizzie said sadly. "At least then there'd be a reason…"
"Reason for what?"
"You've been in relationships that have gone bad before, right?"
Ethan nodded slowly, "sure."
"Why is it that you never notice that things are going wrong, until it's gone bad? Like, you never notice the little things, until you're looking back over months and wondering…how the hell did we get here?" Lizzie looked at him, and sighed. "That probably didn't make any sense."
"No, it did," Ethan said softly. "One day you just wake up and wonder, what in the world went wrong."
"Exactly," Lizzie nodded. "The not knowing is awful."
"Yeah," Ethan agreed. "You wonder if it's you, or them, or…"
Lizzie smiled weakly, "you do understand."
"Yup," Ethan ran his hand through Lizzie's hair, smoothing it down her back. "But you and Gordo are engaged, it's different than me and my stupid ex."
"Just because I'm wearing his ring doesn't mean things can't go wrong."
"I guess."
"I think, it seems like, I mean," Lizzie was stopped by a sob, and she let Ethan pull her in for another tight hug as she cried. "He doesn't want me anymore," she choked out.
Ethan was thankful Lizzie was too consumed by her tears to notice the horror on his face at her words. What the fuck was Gordo doing to her?? She deserved so much better, jesus christ, hell, if Gordo didn't want her, Ethan sure as hell did. "Why do you say that?" He asked the obvious question, struggling to keep his raging emotions out of his voice.
"He won't touch me, not at all," Lizzie confessed in a shaky voice, now that she'd started talking to Ethan, everything was just spilling out. "He always says he's too tired, he needs to sleep, but, goddammit, I need him!"
"Maybe he's just tired?" Ethan offered.
"But, but," Lizzie shook her head as she cried. "He's a man! I mean, I thought guys never turn down women like this, not when they try this hard…" she wiped her nose on her hand, and bit her lip. "Totally humiliating, to just be turned down flat, by my own fiance."
"That's what he did?"
Lizzie nodded, and sat up, her hands playing with the bottom of her sweatshirt. "I got this," she lifted up the sweatshirt, revealing the blue silk teddy underneath. She watched Ethan's face carefully as he looked her over, smiling lightly when his eyes widened appreciatively. "So you like it?"
Ethan's hands clenched into tight fists, and he bit his lip hard before replying, "yes." HELL yes, it was taking all of his strength not to throw her down and show her just how much he liked it.
"Gordo said he did too," Lizzie dropped the sweatshirt, and sighed. "Apparently he just didn't like it enough."
"I don't know what to say, Lizzie, maybe he really was just tired," Ethan said, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. He looked up at the sky, wishing with all of his heart that he wasn't so determined to play the Game right. Goddamn, he'd never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Lizzie at that exact moment. She was in desperate need of affection, she was wearing…god…THAT…she was in his arms, and he wasn't going to do a thing because of his stupid rules.
"Once upon a time, Gordo was more than willing to forgo sleep to be with me," Lizzie said sadly, not noticing Ethan's discomfort.
"This is our senior year, it's been really stressful on us all…"
"He's been keeping this kind of schedule before, with less sleep."
"He's really tired?" Ethan said weakly.
"Right," Lizzie frowned, and ran a hand through her hair. "Really damn tired."
"I don't know what to say, Lizzie," Ethan looked into her eyes, and smiled at her. "I can't imagine not wanting to be with you every minute of every day, so I don't know what's going through Gordo's head. All I can think is that he must have a reason for it, and maybe it really is just that he's tired?"
A corner of Lizzie's lips curled up into a small smile, "every minute of every day, huh?"
"Oh, baby, I'd make love to you until you couldn't see straight," Ethan said with a grin. "Non stop, I swear."
"You'd get sick of me too, I bet."
"Never," Ethan replied honestly. "Especially if you keep wearing stuff like that blue thing," he waggled his eyebrows at her and winked.
That got Lizzie laughing, and she blushed. "Thanks."
"Maybe you should just talk to Gordo?"
Lizzie nodded slowly, her expression growing sad again. "I have to, yeah."
"But keep smiling," Ethan said, tilting his head to look her in the eyes. "You have the most amazing smile I've ever seen."
"I don't much feel like smiling," Lizzie said softly.
"Want me to drop my pants, then?" Ethan offered, grinning. "After all, you pulled up your shirt."
"No, no, no," Lizzie said quickly, shaking her head as she laughed. "I swear I don't need to see that again."
"Well, hell, now I'm insulted," Ethan said, putting on his best pout. "Should I be asking you if I'm attractive, now? I mean, you've seen it all, right?"
"Ethan," Lizzie ran her hand along the side of his face, and smiled. "You are extremely attractive, and a wonderful friend," she said sincerely, before kissing his cheek. "Thank you for being here tonight." She stood up and stretched, not noticing the dark flush that creeped across Ethan's face from the quick kiss. "I'm going to try to get some sleep."
"Good night, Lizzie," Ethan said, watching her leave. He touched the side of his cheek, his entire face feeling like it was on fire from the soft touch of her lips. Goddamn his stupid Game…he could have HAD her, that was pretty damn apparent.
He would, in time, he would.
Until then…he smiled as he relived the feeling of her lips pressed against his skin. She'd kissed his cheek. It was a start.
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