this is my first fanfic!^^ i'm an inuyasha otaku!well, i'd appreciate any feed back, please read&review!^^this is very angsty,,so if you aren't prepared with a tissue box, be warned, you will probably need on^^ TALLY HO!

Disclaimer: (lawyer shoves).I.(pointedly)Do...alright, alright, I do not own inyasha!

~For now....hehehehe~

she picked up an, old, Dusty photo....

it alone brought back so many thoughts, so many memories...

"Inuyasha"....

That one name, that one word, held so much meaning...



for her...

For Him...

His golden eyes,whose depths had once held so much history, so much sadness..

she sighed. Yes, Inuyasha had meant so much to her at one time, but now she didn't know. She couldn't know, her sorrow had blinded her.

"Inuyasha"...So many dreams, so many fantasies.. shattered by time.

time is cruel. time takes everything away. time had stolen Her love, her only love.

kikyou Was proof of that.kikyou didn't have the right to take him.

'Why?'

that question went through her mind a million times a day. She would spend her days walking around her small hut. the hut had one bedroom, and the roof was made of wood. there was a small fireplace, and a small window. the window was covered with yellow curtains, that she had made herself.she would sit in front of the small fireplace, open her photo album, and walk around her hut, remembering the good times she had spent with her friends, searching for the jewel.The jewel had caused so many tragedies, for one so inexperienced, and unprepared as herself.

she would never forget...



The sunlight shone through her window.Before, the sun had meaning, just like his eyes,always alert, but in their own subtle way, kind, tender, and... oh, what did i matter now? Now it was dark,lonely, and meaningless.It wasn't there for her anymore. nothing was.her life was useless,hollow, like her heart, if she still had one.

Her Inuyasha...was dead.Dead.Never to come back. she would never see those soul-melting eyes again, that cocky smile, or those fluffy ears.

A single tear streaked her pale face. he was gone....gone, and under the worst circumstances...

~flashback~

Inuyasha was sitting, hands in his haori, sulking as usual. They were sitting contently in Kaede's hut, a few scrolls on the walls, but otherwise empty. Except for herself, and Inuyasha ,of course.They had not fought, but since the others had left to pick herbs with kaede, they were left alone. All alone, and that left an akward silence in it's wake.She remembered the weather that day, it was cloudy, foggy, but not an inch of rain. The situation was unnerving and the eerie silence in the small hut was tangeable.

she had decided a long time ago that she loved Inuyasha, but that one day she would know his true feelings. they had collected all the shards, even Naraku's,( and would have defeated him, If not for kikyou), and now was as good time as any to ask him his true feelings.

"Inuyasha?"

"what do you want now?"

"I...I..."She couldn't get the words out for fear of rejection. she was afraid of what she had been dreaming about for days. He would leave her, and her feelings would die,And kikyou would have what she wanted.She knew it was just a dream, but couldn't help being nervous.

"well?"Inuyasha asked, as he took on a look of aggravation at her long pause.

" I...I...I've been thinking lately, and..." She felt her face getting redder and redder with each passing second. " I've been thinking alot about you lately, and I couldn't stop myself."

Inuyasha looked confused." Couldn't stop yourself from what?" Kagome couldn't help but sense a slight tone of concern in his voice, not for her, but his own self.

" ALl the time that we've been together, you've been rude, and mean, and I haven't exactly been perfect either, but..." Kagome stopped. Did she really want to tell him this? Well, it was too late to stop now. Inuyasha slowly inched closer. COuld she really be doing what he thought?

" I...I... couldn't help noticing, that I was falling in l..lo.." Gosh, why did this have to be so difficult?" I... love you, Inuyasha"

He just stared at her in disbelief.He felt a lump in his throat, and his eyes softened at the the view of her face. She was blushing, eyes full of fear and hope.He was just about to speak when they bought heard a crash, and a ball of dust blocked Inuyasha from Kagome's view. She heard the sound of tearing flesh. the dust cleared and there was Inuyasha, eyes wide in pain, Naraku standing behind him with his tentacle driven straight through inuyasha's heart.

the shock died away with inuyasha, and her eyes filled with tears.

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! InUYASHA!!!

She ran up to him and caught his upper body in her arms.Naraku pulled out the tentacle and watched as kagome cried her eyes out.

inuyasha looked up to see a despair-stricken kagome crying like her life was over.she looked up into his eyes, and whispered

"inuyasha, plaese dont leave me"between sobs.

"kagome"(cough)

the contrast of the red blood from his open mouth on his white face made her cry even harder. He smiled at her.

"yes, Inu..yasha?"she cried.

"kagome, (cough)...I..Always loved you, Since the first day I met you, and i'll never stop loving you, even in death.

"NNNNOOOOOOO, you Can't die!!You CAN'T! No! No!

" I love you, Now and For...ev..er....he whispered with his last breath.

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No! This Can't be REAL! No1 I'm dreaming! I have to be!

Naraku continued to laugh. "he was useless, the pathetic half-demon, and so were your friends.Wtih that last words, he threw sango..miroku...kaede..And shippo on the floor, motionless. all of them had looks of terror on their faces.those faces would haunt her for eternity.

" Now, I would just love to tear you apart, but then, you would only have a few seconds to feel this pain, and then die, now wouldn't you? What would be the fun in that?Besides..."He said as he walked up to her , " You wouldn't want to see their faces when they realize that you didin't save them, now would you?I'm actually doing you a favor.well, have a nice day"And with that, he left,leaving her to deal with her heartbreak, even if she refused to believe it was real.

I have to be....

~end of flashback~

The tears were coming in streams now.She clutched the photo harder. her fragile body shook with the power of her sadness. now, now she lived alone with her memories.She hadn't returned to her family,her friends, her future. no, she had decided to live in the past with her pain, her solitude.the future meant nothing to her anymore. Before, it had looked bright and hopeful, now it was dead and gloomy.

Instead, she had stayed in feudal Japan...to live out her misery alone.She had become the devoted protector of the shikon no tama.She had killed Naraku, her eyes red with rage and sorrow,had been surrounded in his blood. she had found a strange sort of comfort seeing his dead face contorted into a look of fear,. she had stayed there for two weeks,surrounded in his blood. she had almost lost her sanity, But it took only one memory of Inuyasha to bring her back.

she had been running, covered with naraku's blood when she had come across a yellow rose. She kneeled down and looked straight into the rose. She had seen his Amber eyes staring back, questioning her current state. she had then ran to the god tree and placed a shaking hand on it. inuyasha had appeared to her one last time.he was transclucent and faded, but he was there.he looked at her with a loving smile and asked her if she knew a girl named kagome. she stutterd before she answered,

"Inuyasha, It's me, it's Kagome!"

"Kagome?why are you covered in blood? why are you so hurt?I feared That Naraku might hurt you, but i never thought you would hurt yourself like this.I have always been with you, but you left me the day i died, and i have not been able to find the same kagome since.Please, come back, don't leave me alone..."and with that, he faded with three last words,"I love you"

she immediatley felt disgusted with herself and left to find a hot spring and an abandoned hut.

She, herself, had avenged her friends, her family,and her love. Her love.Inuyasha.



Now, she slayed demons, and every time she did, the pain would not matter,she saw memories of inuyasha , looking like a god with the transformed tetseiga in front of him, cutting through flesh.his silver hair rippling in the sunlight.his hair, his ears, his face, his eyes.

they were memories now.memories.

her friends and her love....

that is what they will be,always....

she dropped her photo, and fell to the ground, dead from grief,

dead from her heart ache at the age of 20,dead to the world...

Now, she too is forever....

A memory.

~authors comments~

WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! My own story makes me cry!(head growing larger)

well, please review and tell me what you think!^^ I am taking requests

for Inuyasha stories^^ R&R!!!!!