I counted the hours until the house would go to sleep and I could curl up on one of the ratty old couches lying stinking and rotting in odd places around the house. Jack, the one that set my arm, assured me there were no hard feelings, whatever that meant and this chick that called herself Sin got right down to giving me a long list of errands she needed to have run once the sun came up until it was announced that I wasn't leaving the house for a few days, shit I could have told her that, it's standard operating procedure especially under these circumstances. I shook my head and limped over to the bathroom and opened the closet in search of anything I could use to wrap my right foot up in, there was always a fair amount of bandages and the like kept around just in case, you needed that in our "line of work". Heavy footfalls came down the hallway, probably one of my "friends" coming to gloat or generally annoy the shit out of me. I steeled myself, reminding myself that I really didn't want to start any bullshit right now, and sat on the edge of the filthy tub sliding my shoe off with a wince, followed by my sock.. I pretended not to notice the ominous shadow falling over me as I wrapped the ace around my foot and ankle. I replaced the sock and the shoe doing my best to be stony faced, stood up and turned to face my company. He was bigger than me but that's not saying much, I was a pretty average sized chick. I knew this guy as one of Drill's little monkeys who'd been in this game even longer than I had, I couldn't for the life of me remember his name though. I knew I was out of my league with this one, but regardless, I wasn't about to roll over and play nice until I had to. "Something I can help you with?" I said placing a hand casually on the broken counter next to the sink trying to hide the fact that I really needed it for support at that moment.
"Boss wants to see you before he's gotta go down. Sent me to retrieve you"
"Fine I'll be there in a second."
"No. I reckon that won't do as he said now. Said if you gave me lip already..." I didn't let him finish his macho bullshit diatribe, which I could tell pissed him off royally "Fine, fine, for fucks sake." I motioned for him to lead the way and gingerly put my weight down on my foot again.
"The Boss" was outside showing some kid how to shoot. I couldn't tell if the kid was more afraid of Drill or the shotgun in his hand, he seemed to jump and almost shit himself each he squeezed the trigger, while his oaf of an instructor lumbered over him barking insults. It was touching to say the least. The kid skittishly watched us approach, diverting the attention of his teacher. "Oh you two" his voice sounded just as you would expect it to from the look of him as if he smoked 4 packs a day when he still breathed and gargled with sand nightly. "I half expected to be getting you in pieces really" the disappointment in his voice was not terribly welcoming but I tried my best to play it off with a roll of my eyes as I slipped a hand into the pocket of my jeans. "Can We get this over with?" I asked not quite sure what "this" was but no time like the present and the sooner he got his kicks in the sooner he'd toss me some more blood. Jesus was I really back to all this? I shook my head at my internal monologue without realizing it.
"Yeah, yeah we can"
I don't know what I had expected to happen, but before I had registered that he'd grabbed the gun from his cowering apprentice, I felt the burning hole in my knee and was well on my way to the ground when the butt of the shotgun clipped my chin. The ensuing boot party was a blast, even the new kid got in on some of the action. It times like those when you have no other choice than to just sit and take it, you go somewhere else in your head. I was convinced I was back sitting on the hood of my old piece of crap mustang, smoking a joint and solving the problems of the universe with my best friend. Funny how having a guy who's gotta weigh no less than 250 kneeling on your chest and force feeding you blood will snap you out of just about anything. The newbie had to drag me back to the house before he was allowed to turn in, beats walking but he could have at least set me on a couch.
I laid on the floor a while listening to the rustling of rats and roaches and god knows what else skittering though the refuge littering the place, letting my body use that magical infusion to heal the gaping hole in my knee and the rest of the new and otherwise recent injuries and going over the previous day's events in my head. What did I expect to happen? I knew I was taking a chance coming here, in fact I counted on this, so why did I come? And after all of it then what did I expect a "Welcome Home" hug and maybe a cake? I remembered in the old days seething when someone would take off, cursing to Jer about how could someone just up and abandon their family. He was always infinitely fucking patient with that shit. There was life outside this rotting shit hole, it's not for everyone, he'd say with some apathetic shrug. Funny, how quickly I sought a taste of that after everything hit the fan. I sat up as the first rays of dawn bled though the crack under the door, I made my way to it and stepped outside Someone had left a full pack of Camels on the railing which I quickly lifted lighting one with matches I'd found in my jeans' pocket. I thought to myself, watching the colors brighten the sky how much shit you take for granted before walking back inside and claiming a couch to sleep on, lying down and looking up at the ceiling I was trying to ignore the residual aches and pains. Tonight, I thought to myself, if someone tries to cop a feel again they're losing an appendage.
I really didn't sleep much, too juiced I guess. I walked around upstairs where a lot of the group slept. I thought about doing just this same thing not so long ago, but it did seem like forever ago. I passed my old room and tested the door for shit and giggles. Locked. Figures, again what did I expect. I glanced my fingers over the frame haunted by one of those cheesy melancholy memories, you know the type, where if it were a movie some sappy song about lost love would be playing in the background and you'd be left with the faint desire to retch when it was over. "Fuck it" I turned to go back downstairs and found "what's his face" leering at me with a smug smile. "Fuck you" I muttered I might as well get it in now before I was too busy kissing Drill's ass to care. He chuckled and it sounded like a hyena laughing, "Maybe later" he quipped and walked into what I guess was his room, it was such a simple banter but it unsettled me. I shivered and checked Chelsea's door to make sure it was secured before going back downstairs. The kitchen was just as dirty as the rest of the place, at least the fridge still worked even though it was fairly empty. I grabbed a few scraps of pizza that had been sitting in there for how ever long and found my way back to the couch. It's amazing what you will eat when you're literally starving. I propped my feet up on the arm of the couch and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. I wondered slightly when the precise moment was that everything went so fucking wrong. I was about to drift off to sleep when the floor creaked and the paranoia in me made me sit bolt upright looking around. I came to the conclusion I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon and decided to raid the "medicine cabinet".
They always kept a sizable stash of all kinds of shit around, it was fast money in a pinch and at the least a cheap thrill every once in a while. I found a few rocks of meth and decided it would at least help to keep me awake in case Casanova decided "Maybe later" meant "Yes now". I procured a light bulb and eventually found my jacket in one of the front rooms. As I rifled through the pockets for my lighter, a dark stain on the carpet caught my attention. That was my stain, I felt my stomach drop and I retreated from the room, it was better left forgotten. Jesus, I really was getting pretty damned squeamish lately. I sat out on the front steps and lit up my crystal, getting high was always such an easy alternative, at least it gave me something to pass the time until everyone was up again and the reindoctrination could continue. I kind of hoped my past performance would help get me a break but I also knew I was kidding myself if I really believed all that. It occurred to me to just get up and walk away, but I couldn't do that to Chels, not only would she bear the brunt of the ensuing rage because of our kinship but she really seemed a lot more at ease having me back there even though she'd never said a word about it in all the times she'd seen me when I was gone. And I was always fiercely protective of her even though she didn't need it especially not anymore.
I sat on the step for a long while, bored out of my mind. There wasn't much to do where we'd set up shop out in one of the ruined rural houses miles from the city with a good view of the surrounding areas in case, we should get any uninvited guests. At least in a few days I could go back to the city and blow off some steam if I was so inclined, and I was for damn sure. I walked around the grounds, nothing had changed, everything was basically just as I'd left it down to the bullet ridden fence post used to practice sharpshooting. The sky took on a pink hue and I made my way back inside, taking up residence on the couch and listening to the quiet. The first sounds of people rising echoed through the halls. The first few times you experienced that it was unnerving how a house that seemed quiet and empty was suddenly filled all at once with the sounds of activity. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to enjoy the last few moments of my solitude, just a few more days and things will start to get back to normal I assured myself.
"Boss wants to see you before he's gotta go down. Sent me to retrieve you"
"Fine I'll be there in a second."
"No. I reckon that won't do as he said now. Said if you gave me lip already..." I didn't let him finish his macho bullshit diatribe, which I could tell pissed him off royally "Fine, fine, for fucks sake." I motioned for him to lead the way and gingerly put my weight down on my foot again.
"The Boss" was outside showing some kid how to shoot. I couldn't tell if the kid was more afraid of Drill or the shotgun in his hand, he seemed to jump and almost shit himself each he squeezed the trigger, while his oaf of an instructor lumbered over him barking insults. It was touching to say the least. The kid skittishly watched us approach, diverting the attention of his teacher. "Oh you two" his voice sounded just as you would expect it to from the look of him as if he smoked 4 packs a day when he still breathed and gargled with sand nightly. "I half expected to be getting you in pieces really" the disappointment in his voice was not terribly welcoming but I tried my best to play it off with a roll of my eyes as I slipped a hand into the pocket of my jeans. "Can We get this over with?" I asked not quite sure what "this" was but no time like the present and the sooner he got his kicks in the sooner he'd toss me some more blood. Jesus was I really back to all this? I shook my head at my internal monologue without realizing it.
"Yeah, yeah we can"
I don't know what I had expected to happen, but before I had registered that he'd grabbed the gun from his cowering apprentice, I felt the burning hole in my knee and was well on my way to the ground when the butt of the shotgun clipped my chin. The ensuing boot party was a blast, even the new kid got in on some of the action. It times like those when you have no other choice than to just sit and take it, you go somewhere else in your head. I was convinced I was back sitting on the hood of my old piece of crap mustang, smoking a joint and solving the problems of the universe with my best friend. Funny how having a guy who's gotta weigh no less than 250 kneeling on your chest and force feeding you blood will snap you out of just about anything. The newbie had to drag me back to the house before he was allowed to turn in, beats walking but he could have at least set me on a couch.
I laid on the floor a while listening to the rustling of rats and roaches and god knows what else skittering though the refuge littering the place, letting my body use that magical infusion to heal the gaping hole in my knee and the rest of the new and otherwise recent injuries and going over the previous day's events in my head. What did I expect to happen? I knew I was taking a chance coming here, in fact I counted on this, so why did I come? And after all of it then what did I expect a "Welcome Home" hug and maybe a cake? I remembered in the old days seething when someone would take off, cursing to Jer about how could someone just up and abandon their family. He was always infinitely fucking patient with that shit. There was life outside this rotting shit hole, it's not for everyone, he'd say with some apathetic shrug. Funny, how quickly I sought a taste of that after everything hit the fan. I sat up as the first rays of dawn bled though the crack under the door, I made my way to it and stepped outside Someone had left a full pack of Camels on the railing which I quickly lifted lighting one with matches I'd found in my jeans' pocket. I thought to myself, watching the colors brighten the sky how much shit you take for granted before walking back inside and claiming a couch to sleep on, lying down and looking up at the ceiling I was trying to ignore the residual aches and pains. Tonight, I thought to myself, if someone tries to cop a feel again they're losing an appendage.
I really didn't sleep much, too juiced I guess. I walked around upstairs where a lot of the group slept. I thought about doing just this same thing not so long ago, but it did seem like forever ago. I passed my old room and tested the door for shit and giggles. Locked. Figures, again what did I expect. I glanced my fingers over the frame haunted by one of those cheesy melancholy memories, you know the type, where if it were a movie some sappy song about lost love would be playing in the background and you'd be left with the faint desire to retch when it was over. "Fuck it" I turned to go back downstairs and found "what's his face" leering at me with a smug smile. "Fuck you" I muttered I might as well get it in now before I was too busy kissing Drill's ass to care. He chuckled and it sounded like a hyena laughing, "Maybe later" he quipped and walked into what I guess was his room, it was such a simple banter but it unsettled me. I shivered and checked Chelsea's door to make sure it was secured before going back downstairs. The kitchen was just as dirty as the rest of the place, at least the fridge still worked even though it was fairly empty. I grabbed a few scraps of pizza that had been sitting in there for how ever long and found my way back to the couch. It's amazing what you will eat when you're literally starving. I propped my feet up on the arm of the couch and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. I wondered slightly when the precise moment was that everything went so fucking wrong. I was about to drift off to sleep when the floor creaked and the paranoia in me made me sit bolt upright looking around. I came to the conclusion I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon and decided to raid the "medicine cabinet".
They always kept a sizable stash of all kinds of shit around, it was fast money in a pinch and at the least a cheap thrill every once in a while. I found a few rocks of meth and decided it would at least help to keep me awake in case Casanova decided "Maybe later" meant "Yes now". I procured a light bulb and eventually found my jacket in one of the front rooms. As I rifled through the pockets for my lighter, a dark stain on the carpet caught my attention. That was my stain, I felt my stomach drop and I retreated from the room, it was better left forgotten. Jesus, I really was getting pretty damned squeamish lately. I sat out on the front steps and lit up my crystal, getting high was always such an easy alternative, at least it gave me something to pass the time until everyone was up again and the reindoctrination could continue. I kind of hoped my past performance would help get me a break but I also knew I was kidding myself if I really believed all that. It occurred to me to just get up and walk away, but I couldn't do that to Chels, not only would she bear the brunt of the ensuing rage because of our kinship but she really seemed a lot more at ease having me back there even though she'd never said a word about it in all the times she'd seen me when I was gone. And I was always fiercely protective of her even though she didn't need it especially not anymore.
I sat on the step for a long while, bored out of my mind. There wasn't much to do where we'd set up shop out in one of the ruined rural houses miles from the city with a good view of the surrounding areas in case, we should get any uninvited guests. At least in a few days I could go back to the city and blow off some steam if I was so inclined, and I was for damn sure. I walked around the grounds, nothing had changed, everything was basically just as I'd left it down to the bullet ridden fence post used to practice sharpshooting. The sky took on a pink hue and I made my way back inside, taking up residence on the couch and listening to the quiet. The first sounds of people rising echoed through the halls. The first few times you experienced that it was unnerving how a house that seemed quiet and empty was suddenly filled all at once with the sounds of activity. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to enjoy the last few moments of my solitude, just a few more days and things will start to get back to normal I assured myself.