The Telemarketes Meet The Senshi
Chapter Three: Malachite Gets Eaten Alive by Zoicite
Sorry for the long time..I had a family emergency where my grandmother almost died twice and had a stroke, so things've been very busy around here lately. I wrote about what happened, you can read it by clicking on my profile and looking for the story called "Poison Pills". It'll tell you everything. Anyways I haven't forgotten you guys. Here's chapter three.
~~~
I'm baaacckk!! Everyone's favorite story on those bakas aka Telemarketers is UPDATED!! YES CAN IT BE!! Yes, it can be cause...it is!! YAYY!!!! I know these aren't all the negabaddies but hey lol I gots lotsa requests to write up! but ask me for more and you lovely reviewers might just see....mooore negabaddieness being attacked by telemarketers! ^___^ And I used my dictionary-sama for the Japanese ^.^;;;;; And just so that there's no confusion, Tara and Aroura are NOT in the Manga or Anime, and Hotaru is NOT in this. I used my version of Sailor Saturn and my best friends' character, Sailor Earth.
(Replies will be at the bottom this time ^^;;; )
~~~
Beryl and the other Negabaddies are lounging around drinking Starbucks frappachinos (sp?) one day and discussing ways to rid the world of over price coffee when...yes! Can it be?!?! The Telemarketers are so desperate after the Senshi to sell stuff that they...no! No this is not true! But alas, it is! They....CALL THE NEGAVERSE!!! RUN!!
~~~
Beryl: Coffee is so overpriced these days
Zoicite: Yeah I know, sometimes I think that we should make it then it'll be free
Malachite: I wonder what the Senshi are doing right now?
Beryl: Probably talking about the same thing we are. *sips frappachino*
*phone rings*
Beryl: I'll get it
Beryl: *picks up phone* Hello, Negaverse here, how can I help you? *sounds so unlike herself that Zoicite prepares to attack*
Telemarketer: Negaverse? Oh, um, yes, ma'am, are you over the age of 18?
Beryl: Are you in the coffee buisness?
Telemarketer: No. Are you over 18, ma'am?
Beryl: YOU'RE NOT IN THE COFFEE BUISNESS?! I SHALL UNLEASH THE AWSOME POWER OF THE NEGAFORCE ON YOU BECAUSE OF THAT!!!!!!!
Telemarketer: What Negaverse?
Beryl: *starts rubbing her li'l crystal ball thing and chanting,* Negapower is all Negapower is all Negapower is all...*chant chant*
Telemarketer: *sweatdrop* Um.....I think I got to go...byyyeeeeee!!!!
Beryl: *barely above a whisper* your destiny of demise is written in the evil stars, my dear
Telemarketer: MOMMYYY!!!!!! *hang up*
Beryl: *shrugs and glances at Zoicite who is very much freaked out* whaa..?
Zoicite: *hide*
Beryl: So what do you guys wanna talk about?
Zoicite: Let's plot against telemarketers
Malachite: Yay!
Beryl and Zoicite: *blink*
*phone rings*
Zoicite: Yeaahhhhh??
Telemarketer: Hi! I'm with AT&T! How are you this very fine morning?
Zoicite: Morning? It's morning? Gee, I didn't know that. I thought it was still in the time before creation where it's all dark. I was born then, you know. And I've been reincarnated a few times, you know. And also my friends have too. What is a morning anyways? Isn't that when it gets too bright and you get blinded by sun light or whatever it's called? Or is it when you be all sad? I wonder, you know. I thought that we all lived in darkness, you know. But, alas I was wrong. I don't like being wrong.
Telemarketer: Riiiigghtttt.
Zoicite: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!?! YOU DARE MOCK THE ONE AND ONLY ZOICITE (insert creepy last name) OF THE NEGAVERSE!!!! FOR THAT I (with Beryl) SHALL ...er...DEMISE YOU!!
Telemarketer: Yes anyways. Are you interested in a prepaid phone card worth (A/N: I'm sure ya know ^^ by now...$5200) 5200$? (A/N: hehe ^^)
Zoicite: But...I don't understand.
Telemarketer: A phone card is something you use.
Zoicite: Baka hato! ("Stupid pigeon!")
Telemarketer: Eh?
Zoicite: Anata wa baka-tera benjo desu! ("You are a stupid toilet rat!")
Telemarketer: Um...phone...card?
Zoicite: Anata wa mattaku baka, telemarketer! ("You are utterly stupid, telemarketer!")
Telemarketer: Are you calling me cheese?
Zoicite: Nani desu chizu? ("What is cheese?")
Telemarketer: An apple?
Zoicite: Honto ni rainen. ("I can tell you next year.")
Telemarketer: What language are you speaking?
Zoicite: Nihon-go ("Japanese")
Telemarketer: Um...right...ok, you know what...I believe you are not over the age of 18.
Zoicite: Hai so desu! ("Yes that's right!")
Telemarketer: Oooookkkaaay......have a nice day.
Zoicite: I thought it was morning. Are you lying to me? I don't like people who lie, you know. I can destroy you, you know. I think you're very stupid for lying to me, baka hato. You're very baka-ish.
Telemarketer: I thought you didn't speak English.
Zoicite: I don't.
Telemarketer: Is this a government conspiracy?
Zoicite: This is my alter-ego, Zoicite. I am conspiring with my other alter- ego, Zoicite, to kill you. Omae wo korosu! ("I will kill you") Because, you are a telemarketer, you know. And I don't like telemarketers, you know. They are very bad. So omae wo korosu!
Telemarketer: *click*
Zoicite: Think that got 'em?
Malachite: *Nods* I didn't know you spoke that much Japanese
Zoicite: Ehehehe....*rubs finger on her Japanese-Negaverse dictionary*
*phone rings*
Malachite: *picks up phone* Heeello?
Telemarketer: CONGRADULATIONS, SIR!!! YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY HEEELLO TODAY! THAT MEANS THAT YOU HAVE JUST WON A *heavenly music* FREE TRIP TO (insert Hawaii music) HAWAII, USA! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, RIGHT OFF THE COAST OF SUNNY CALIFORNIA BY ABOUT 1500 OR SO MILES....SIR, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TODAY?
Malachite: You sound hott....wanna hook up? (A/N: Girl telemarketer...yes I have gotten girl telemarketers so this one is a girl, okies ^^)
Zoicite: WHAT WAS THAT MALACHITE!!!!! YOU TRADER!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackles him* AAAAYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAIIIII!!!!!
Malachite and Zoicite: *start wrestling in background, occasionly one screeches/screams* *glass vase breaks*
Zoicite: I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!!!!!!
Malachite: AAAAAAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! MYYY FOOOOOOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Zoicite: *bite*
Telemarketer: *blinks, holds phone away from ear. Sounds can be heard 20 miles away*
Malachite: AAAAHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Zoicite: *bite...bite....gnaw....chew....gnaw gnaw gnaw's on Malachite's finger*
Malachite: EEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
Telemarketer: Uh.....
Malachite: *after almost getting eaten alive by a hungry Zoicite, stumbles back to phone* hello? *faint voice* I was just eaten alive by someone.....aaerrrruuuggggghhhhhhh...*faints*
Telemarketer: HOLY STUFF!!! *hangs up and hides under desk*
Zoicite: *creeps out from her cave and drags a screaming Malachite back into her cave....gnawing sounds can be heard over the phone ringing again*
Beryl: *picks up phone...throws chicken bone into Zoicite's cave....vicious biting sounds can be heard* Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello I have an important bank statement....uh...sorry...is this Pizza Man?
Beryl: What is this Pizza Man you speak of?
Telemarketer: I take it you're not Pizza Man?
Beryl: Are you telling me I don't work with Pizza Man?
Telemarketer: That's what you told me
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: MEANIE! *hangs up*
Zoicite: *pounces out of cave all cat-like and glances around in pounce position* Meeeeoowww
Beryl and the half-eaten Malachite: *hide*
Zoicite: Are telemarketer gone? (A/N: I know I know! I did that on purpose, minna-san...)
Half-eaten Malachite: Be still my beating heart *faints again*
Beryl: *sweatdrop...keelsover from stench of rotted Malachite jacket vest thing*
Zoicite: *retreats back to cave, mumbling about finishing eating Malachite* I eat next telemaketer! *bears just-cemented-in fangs*
~~~
A/N: Yyyyyeess I know, OOC to the extreme!
~~~
Replies:
Crystal Words: ^___^;;; I didn't know it was that funny lol...anyways I hope you like this new chappie ^.^
Shadowfox: ^^;; Ah well lol glad ya liked it...hope ya like this one too!
Ahknee/Kitteen: ^^;;; As you requested the next part is here ^^
Fangirl: LOL For the love of Darien I got it up! ^^ Enjoy! Ja matta, Fangirl-sama ^^;;;;; Trista's also my favorite charrie ^^;; she's da bestest ^.^ and hai they are obviously good reasons ^^
Eo*Angel: ^^ Glad ya liked it!! ^^
Aqua Rhapsody: ^_^ Sure! ^^ I'll definetly write up a Witches 5 chappie for ya ^.~;;;
the princess of the desert: ^^ enjoy the new chapter! ^^
wingnut: Lol, Tara and Aroura are mine and my friends' chars (Tara - my version of Saturn, Aroura - Earth) ^^ Lol anyways glad you liked it read this chappie too!
Everyone else: Sooo sorry for not being able to write ya all back individually but I've gotten so many reviews I dunno who is who anymore lol...DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU, MINNA-SAN!!
Sorry for the long time..I had a family emergency where my grandmother almost died twice and had a stroke, so things've been very busy around here lately. I wrote about what happened, you can read it by clicking on my profile and looking for the story called "Poison Pills". It'll tell you everything. Anyways I haven't forgotten you guys. Here's chapter three.
~~~
I'm baaacckk!! Everyone's favorite story on those bakas aka Telemarketers is UPDATED!! YES CAN IT BE!! Yes, it can be cause...it is!! YAYY!!!! I know these aren't all the negabaddies but hey lol I gots lotsa requests to write up! but ask me for more and you lovely reviewers might just see....mooore negabaddieness being attacked by telemarketers! ^___^ And I used my dictionary-sama for the Japanese ^.^;;;;; And just so that there's no confusion, Tara and Aroura are NOT in the Manga or Anime, and Hotaru is NOT in this. I used my version of Sailor Saturn and my best friends' character, Sailor Earth.
(Replies will be at the bottom this time ^^;;; )
~~~
Beryl and the other Negabaddies are lounging around drinking Starbucks frappachinos (sp?) one day and discussing ways to rid the world of over price coffee when...yes! Can it be?!?! The Telemarketers are so desperate after the Senshi to sell stuff that they...no! No this is not true! But alas, it is! They....CALL THE NEGAVERSE!!! RUN!!
~~~
Beryl: Coffee is so overpriced these days
Zoicite: Yeah I know, sometimes I think that we should make it then it'll be free
Malachite: I wonder what the Senshi are doing right now?
Beryl: Probably talking about the same thing we are. *sips frappachino*
*phone rings*
Beryl: I'll get it
Beryl: *picks up phone* Hello, Negaverse here, how can I help you? *sounds so unlike herself that Zoicite prepares to attack*
Telemarketer: Negaverse? Oh, um, yes, ma'am, are you over the age of 18?
Beryl: Are you in the coffee buisness?
Telemarketer: No. Are you over 18, ma'am?
Beryl: YOU'RE NOT IN THE COFFEE BUISNESS?! I SHALL UNLEASH THE AWSOME POWER OF THE NEGAFORCE ON YOU BECAUSE OF THAT!!!!!!!
Telemarketer: What Negaverse?
Beryl: *starts rubbing her li'l crystal ball thing and chanting,* Negapower is all Negapower is all Negapower is all...*chant chant*
Telemarketer: *sweatdrop* Um.....I think I got to go...byyyeeeeee!!!!
Beryl: *barely above a whisper* your destiny of demise is written in the evil stars, my dear
Telemarketer: MOMMYYY!!!!!! *hang up*
Beryl: *shrugs and glances at Zoicite who is very much freaked out* whaa..?
Zoicite: *hide*
Beryl: So what do you guys wanna talk about?
Zoicite: Let's plot against telemarketers
Malachite: Yay!
Beryl and Zoicite: *blink*
*phone rings*
Zoicite: Yeaahhhhh??
Telemarketer: Hi! I'm with AT&T! How are you this very fine morning?
Zoicite: Morning? It's morning? Gee, I didn't know that. I thought it was still in the time before creation where it's all dark. I was born then, you know. And I've been reincarnated a few times, you know. And also my friends have too. What is a morning anyways? Isn't that when it gets too bright and you get blinded by sun light or whatever it's called? Or is it when you be all sad? I wonder, you know. I thought that we all lived in darkness, you know. But, alas I was wrong. I don't like being wrong.
Telemarketer: Riiiigghtttt.
Zoicite: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!?! YOU DARE MOCK THE ONE AND ONLY ZOICITE (insert creepy last name) OF THE NEGAVERSE!!!! FOR THAT I (with Beryl) SHALL ...er...DEMISE YOU!!
Telemarketer: Yes anyways. Are you interested in a prepaid phone card worth (A/N: I'm sure ya know ^^ by now...$5200) 5200$? (A/N: hehe ^^)
Zoicite: But...I don't understand.
Telemarketer: A phone card is something you use.
Zoicite: Baka hato! ("Stupid pigeon!")
Telemarketer: Eh?
Zoicite: Anata wa baka-tera benjo desu! ("You are a stupid toilet rat!")
Telemarketer: Um...phone...card?
Zoicite: Anata wa mattaku baka, telemarketer! ("You are utterly stupid, telemarketer!")
Telemarketer: Are you calling me cheese?
Zoicite: Nani desu chizu? ("What is cheese?")
Telemarketer: An apple?
Zoicite: Honto ni rainen. ("I can tell you next year.")
Telemarketer: What language are you speaking?
Zoicite: Nihon-go ("Japanese")
Telemarketer: Um...right...ok, you know what...I believe you are not over the age of 18.
Zoicite: Hai so desu! ("Yes that's right!")
Telemarketer: Oooookkkaaay......have a nice day.
Zoicite: I thought it was morning. Are you lying to me? I don't like people who lie, you know. I can destroy you, you know. I think you're very stupid for lying to me, baka hato. You're very baka-ish.
Telemarketer: I thought you didn't speak English.
Zoicite: I don't.
Telemarketer: Is this a government conspiracy?
Zoicite: This is my alter-ego, Zoicite. I am conspiring with my other alter- ego, Zoicite, to kill you. Omae wo korosu! ("I will kill you") Because, you are a telemarketer, you know. And I don't like telemarketers, you know. They are very bad. So omae wo korosu!
Telemarketer: *click*
Zoicite: Think that got 'em?
Malachite: *Nods* I didn't know you spoke that much Japanese
Zoicite: Ehehehe....*rubs finger on her Japanese-Negaverse dictionary*
*phone rings*
Malachite: *picks up phone* Heeello?
Telemarketer: CONGRADULATIONS, SIR!!! YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY HEEELLO TODAY! THAT MEANS THAT YOU HAVE JUST WON A *heavenly music* FREE TRIP TO (insert Hawaii music) HAWAII, USA! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, RIGHT OFF THE COAST OF SUNNY CALIFORNIA BY ABOUT 1500 OR SO MILES....SIR, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TODAY?
Malachite: You sound hott....wanna hook up? (A/N: Girl telemarketer...yes I have gotten girl telemarketers so this one is a girl, okies ^^)
Zoicite: WHAT WAS THAT MALACHITE!!!!! YOU TRADER!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackles him* AAAAYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAIIIII!!!!!
Malachite and Zoicite: *start wrestling in background, occasionly one screeches/screams* *glass vase breaks*
Zoicite: I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!!!!!!
Malachite: AAAAAAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! MYYY FOOOOOOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Zoicite: *bite*
Telemarketer: *blinks, holds phone away from ear. Sounds can be heard 20 miles away*
Malachite: AAAAHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Zoicite: *bite...bite....gnaw....chew....gnaw gnaw gnaw's on Malachite's finger*
Malachite: EEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
Telemarketer: Uh.....
Malachite: *after almost getting eaten alive by a hungry Zoicite, stumbles back to phone* hello? *faint voice* I was just eaten alive by someone.....aaerrrruuuggggghhhhhhh...*faints*
Telemarketer: HOLY STUFF!!! *hangs up and hides under desk*
Zoicite: *creeps out from her cave and drags a screaming Malachite back into her cave....gnawing sounds can be heard over the phone ringing again*
Beryl: *picks up phone...throws chicken bone into Zoicite's cave....vicious biting sounds can be heard* Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello I have an important bank statement....uh...sorry...is this Pizza Man?
Beryl: What is this Pizza Man you speak of?
Telemarketer: I take it you're not Pizza Man?
Beryl: Are you telling me I don't work with Pizza Man?
Telemarketer: That's what you told me
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: Nu-uh!
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!
Beryl: MEANIE! *hangs up*
Zoicite: *pounces out of cave all cat-like and glances around in pounce position* Meeeeoowww
Beryl and the half-eaten Malachite: *hide*
Zoicite: Are telemarketer gone? (A/N: I know I know! I did that on purpose, minna-san...)
Half-eaten Malachite: Be still my beating heart *faints again*
Beryl: *sweatdrop...keelsover from stench of rotted Malachite jacket vest thing*
Zoicite: *retreats back to cave, mumbling about finishing eating Malachite* I eat next telemaketer! *bears just-cemented-in fangs*
~~~
A/N: Yyyyyeess I know, OOC to the extreme!
~~~
Replies:
Crystal Words: ^___^;;; I didn't know it was that funny lol...anyways I hope you like this new chappie ^.^
Shadowfox: ^^;; Ah well lol glad ya liked it...hope ya like this one too!
Ahknee/Kitteen: ^^;;; As you requested the next part is here ^^
Fangirl: LOL For the love of Darien I got it up! ^^ Enjoy! Ja matta, Fangirl-sama ^^;;;;; Trista's also my favorite charrie ^^;; she's da bestest ^.^ and hai they are obviously good reasons ^^
Eo*Angel: ^^ Glad ya liked it!! ^^
Aqua Rhapsody: ^_^ Sure! ^^ I'll definetly write up a Witches 5 chappie for ya ^.~;;;
the princess of the desert: ^^ enjoy the new chapter! ^^
wingnut: Lol, Tara and Aroura are mine and my friends' chars (Tara - my version of Saturn, Aroura - Earth) ^^ Lol anyways glad you liked it read this chappie too!
Everyone else: Sooo sorry for not being able to write ya all back individually but I've gotten so many reviews I dunno who is who anymore lol...DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU, MINNA-SAN!!