Chapter Ten, Redone! Return of the $5200 Calls!
W00! I'm back! Quite the long hiatus I've been on. _O Tom is visiting me. I hate Tom.
Author: Hey, Heero... Can you kill Tom for me please?
Heero: Sure... *Takes out gun, kills Tom*
Author: ^__^ aishiteru *hug*
I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out.
~~~*~~~
So! Where are we, you ask? We are currently in the futuristic city of Tokyo, although now it's CRYSTAL Tokyo. And thus, the telemarketers have seeked out their next victims - the future royal family, no, not the future royal orgy (XD though we all know that would be quite interesting...), but the future family! Muahaha. Here is-eth the chaptereth. Enjoyeth.
~~~*~~~
Phone: *ring*
Endymion: *picks up phone* Yay-us?
Telemarketer: I am Mister Telephone Man, calling you with an offer you cannot refuse!
Endymion: ... *dresses up in ray-ud suit with a V* I AM VIRGINITY MAN, HERE TO SAVE... er... *grabs Neo Queen Serenity's wrist and drags her over* THIS GIRL'S VIRGINITY!
Neo Queen Serenity: o.O; cheesecake?
Endymion: YES! We must worship the cheesecake. But wait. Aren't we the kings and queens?
Telemarketer: You have clones?
Endymion and Neo Queen Serenity: ...they're in the pay-ust
Telemarketer: Accent, accent, where art thou from, oh accent?
Neo Queen Serenity: DON'T MOCK THE CHEESECAKE!
Endymion: *chibi transforms into a mongoose and devours cheesecake* ARGHFRAUGHMORUAH
Neo Queen Serenity: ..My husband just turned into an animal. Please hold and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Telemarketer: YOU MEAN THIS WAS A CHEESECAKING RECORDING?! _O *hangs up*
~
Neo Queen Serenity: *blink... stare....* Uh, honey, please turn back into a human...
Endymion: Mrawr?
Neo Queen Serenity: ...cheesecake. *whap*
Endymion: Mrawr... *turns back into a human* Aw...
~
Phone: RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Small Lady Serenity (abbreviated as SLS since I'm a lazy bum-ess and feel like being that cheesecake which I am.): *picks it up* heylo?
Telemarketer: Hi!
SLS: Hi! How can I help you?
Telemarketer: Do you wanna buy a phone card worth $5200?
SLS: No... I would have no one to call... because Mom's friends ain't got no kids for me to call.
Telemarketer: Awwwwwwww....
SLS: *cries* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM GET YOUR FRIENDS PREGNANT! OH GOSH THAT SOUNDED WRONG! I MEANT FOR THEIR HUSBANDS TO GET THEM PREGNANT!
Telemarketer: o.O; how old are ya?
SLS: Uhm... *turns to Neo Queen Serenity* how old am I?
Telemarketer: o_O; ba-link
Neo Queen Serenity: _O I dunno! I don't know how old I am! Last time I checked I was 14...
SLS: Yeah, you were, and I was around 10-ish...
Telemarketer: HOLY CHEESECAKING CHEESE!
Neo Queen Serenity and SLS: o_O? huh?
Telemarketer: ....my 4 year old daughter ain't havin' no kids...
Neo Queen Serenity: I was NOT four when I had her! I was... uhm... She's my daughter from the past and now it's the future but she's from the past which means she originates from a mongoose...
SLS: o_____o oi... *pets Neo Queen Serenity* now now... put the hallucination-inducing liquified cheesecake away...
Telemarketer: ...you people are weird... *hangs up*
Neo Queen Serenity and Small Lady Serenity: *high-five...* ... *eat cheesecake* BRWAR MEOW!
~
Author: I do know that in Parallel SM the others do have kids, and that Serena gave birth to Rini at 22, and all that shtuff... but this is a humor fic... this eliminating the need for an accurate fact-list.
~
Phone: ringety ring ring ringety ring ring ring...!!!
Chibi Chibi: *picks up phone* chibi? (translation: hello?)
Telemarketer: ch-eye-bye? (pronounced cheyebye, like 'ch'-'eye'-'bye')
Chibi Chibi: o.o CHIBI CHIBI?! ("say what?")
Telemarketer: Uh.. yeah, can you speak English?
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI! ("I am a Japanese speaker!")
Telemarketer: Ah, yes... The ancient art of avoiding the telemarketer...
Chibi Chibi: Chibi Chib-Chib! ("ha ha-ha!")
Telemarketer: Is your mom or dad home?
Chibi Chibi: Chibi chibi chibi chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi ("Mom is at work, and dad is in the shower")
Telemarketer: Telemarketer telemarketer telemarketer? ("is that true?")
Chibi Chibi: *nod* chibi chibi, chib chibi chibi. ("yes yes, yes it is")
Telemarketer: Telemarketer... telemarketer phone card worth $5200 telemarketer... ("okay... no phone card worth $5200 today...")
Chibi Chibi: chibi! ("okay!")
Telemarketer: Erm... bye.
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI!!! ("BYE!!!")
Telemarketer: right. *hangs up*
~
Phone: *RING*
Cosmos: Hi! This is your local insane person. She's gone insane again, and she probably won't be back for a while. But please hold, your call is very important to her. But not more important than the men in the pretty white suits taking her to the padded room filled with happiness.
Telemarketer: MOOOOMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!! THE INSANE PEOPLE ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! *becomes a baby* wah! wah! wah!
Cosmos: o_o... uhm. Oops. *hangs up*
~
Phone: Rang ring rang ring rang rotsa rings!
Queen Serenity: *appears* hello.
Telemarketer: Hi! I have an offer for you regarding a phone card.
Queen Serenity: ...But I don't need a phone card...
Telemarketer: We all need a phone card sometimes!
Queen Serenity: ...no.. really... I don't need a phone card...
Telemarketer: Hush it. You do.
Queen Serenity: *bursts into tears* NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Telemarketer: o_O Whassat you say?
Queen Serenity: *sob* A DEAD PERSON HAS NO USE FOR A PHONE! I DIED 1,000 PLUS YEARS AGO!
Telemarketer: o.o then how am I talking to you?
Queen Serenity: It's the magical cheesecake which hath brought your phone call into the abyss of the dead for reception.
Telemarketer: Are you on crack?
Queen Serenity: I SHALL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE PITS OF HADES FOR THAT DESECRATION!
Telemarketer: My apologies... o____O *blink-blink*
Queen Serenity: *pet* ^_^ That's a good telemarketer...
Telemarketer: o___o uh, my dog just peed on my dinner, bye! *hangs up*
Queen Serenity: ...good luck cleaning up your dinner, you psychotic mongoose...
~~~~
DONE with this chapter! ^__^ was it good huh huh was it was it? lol ok, enough hyperness... hope you liked it! Sooo sorry that took so long.
see ya'll later, same nutty time, same nutty fanfic identification number!
*flies off into sunset. sunset is actually a wall. uses magical powers and goes through the wall and into the universe of Gundam Wing. rejoices. Glomps Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa. Hugs Wufei. waves goodbye as the screen fades out.*
hehe, bye!
email: ILOVETCHAN@YAHOO.COM
OR
IM: tsuiraku hoshi
W00! I'm back! Quite the long hiatus I've been on. _O Tom is visiting me. I hate Tom.
Author: Hey, Heero... Can you kill Tom for me please?
Heero: Sure... *Takes out gun, kills Tom*
Author: ^__^ aishiteru *hug*
I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out.
~~~*~~~
So! Where are we, you ask? We are currently in the futuristic city of Tokyo, although now it's CRYSTAL Tokyo. And thus, the telemarketers have seeked out their next victims - the future royal family, no, not the future royal orgy (XD though we all know that would be quite interesting...), but the future family! Muahaha. Here is-eth the chaptereth. Enjoyeth.
~~~*~~~
Phone: *ring*
Endymion: *picks up phone* Yay-us?
Telemarketer: I am Mister Telephone Man, calling you with an offer you cannot refuse!
Endymion: ... *dresses up in ray-ud suit with a V* I AM VIRGINITY MAN, HERE TO SAVE... er... *grabs Neo Queen Serenity's wrist and drags her over* THIS GIRL'S VIRGINITY!
Neo Queen Serenity: o.O; cheesecake?
Endymion: YES! We must worship the cheesecake. But wait. Aren't we the kings and queens?
Telemarketer: You have clones?
Endymion and Neo Queen Serenity: ...they're in the pay-ust
Telemarketer: Accent, accent, where art thou from, oh accent?
Neo Queen Serenity: DON'T MOCK THE CHEESECAKE!
Endymion: *chibi transforms into a mongoose and devours cheesecake* ARGHFRAUGHMORUAH
Neo Queen Serenity: ..My husband just turned into an animal. Please hold and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Telemarketer: YOU MEAN THIS WAS A CHEESECAKING RECORDING?! _O *hangs up*
~
Neo Queen Serenity: *blink... stare....* Uh, honey, please turn back into a human...
Endymion: Mrawr?
Neo Queen Serenity: ...cheesecake. *whap*
Endymion: Mrawr... *turns back into a human* Aw...
~
Phone: RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Small Lady Serenity (abbreviated as SLS since I'm a lazy bum-ess and feel like being that cheesecake which I am.): *picks it up* heylo?
Telemarketer: Hi!
SLS: Hi! How can I help you?
Telemarketer: Do you wanna buy a phone card worth $5200?
SLS: No... I would have no one to call... because Mom's friends ain't got no kids for me to call.
Telemarketer: Awwwwwwww....
SLS: *cries* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM GET YOUR FRIENDS PREGNANT! OH GOSH THAT SOUNDED WRONG! I MEANT FOR THEIR HUSBANDS TO GET THEM PREGNANT!
Telemarketer: o.O; how old are ya?
SLS: Uhm... *turns to Neo Queen Serenity* how old am I?
Telemarketer: o_O; ba-link
Neo Queen Serenity: _O I dunno! I don't know how old I am! Last time I checked I was 14...
SLS: Yeah, you were, and I was around 10-ish...
Telemarketer: HOLY CHEESECAKING CHEESE!
Neo Queen Serenity and SLS: o_O? huh?
Telemarketer: ....my 4 year old daughter ain't havin' no kids...
Neo Queen Serenity: I was NOT four when I had her! I was... uhm... She's my daughter from the past and now it's the future but she's from the past which means she originates from a mongoose...
SLS: o_____o oi... *pets Neo Queen Serenity* now now... put the hallucination-inducing liquified cheesecake away...
Telemarketer: ...you people are weird... *hangs up*
Neo Queen Serenity and Small Lady Serenity: *high-five...* ... *eat cheesecake* BRWAR MEOW!
~
Author: I do know that in Parallel SM the others do have kids, and that Serena gave birth to Rini at 22, and all that shtuff... but this is a humor fic... this eliminating the need for an accurate fact-list.
~
Phone: ringety ring ring ringety ring ring ring...!!!
Chibi Chibi: *picks up phone* chibi? (translation: hello?)
Telemarketer: ch-eye-bye? (pronounced cheyebye, like 'ch'-'eye'-'bye')
Chibi Chibi: o.o CHIBI CHIBI?! ("say what?")
Telemarketer: Uh.. yeah, can you speak English?
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI! ("I am a Japanese speaker!")
Telemarketer: Ah, yes... The ancient art of avoiding the telemarketer...
Chibi Chibi: Chibi Chib-Chib! ("ha ha-ha!")
Telemarketer: Is your mom or dad home?
Chibi Chibi: Chibi chibi chibi chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi ("Mom is at work, and dad is in the shower")
Telemarketer: Telemarketer telemarketer telemarketer? ("is that true?")
Chibi Chibi: *nod* chibi chibi, chib chibi chibi. ("yes yes, yes it is")
Telemarketer: Telemarketer... telemarketer phone card worth $5200 telemarketer... ("okay... no phone card worth $5200 today...")
Chibi Chibi: chibi! ("okay!")
Telemarketer: Erm... bye.
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI!!! ("BYE!!!")
Telemarketer: right. *hangs up*
~
Phone: *RING*
Cosmos: Hi! This is your local insane person. She's gone insane again, and she probably won't be back for a while. But please hold, your call is very important to her. But not more important than the men in the pretty white suits taking her to the padded room filled with happiness.
Telemarketer: MOOOOMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!! THE INSANE PEOPLE ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! *becomes a baby* wah! wah! wah!
Cosmos: o_o... uhm. Oops. *hangs up*
~
Phone: Rang ring rang ring rang rotsa rings!
Queen Serenity: *appears* hello.
Telemarketer: Hi! I have an offer for you regarding a phone card.
Queen Serenity: ...But I don't need a phone card...
Telemarketer: We all need a phone card sometimes!
Queen Serenity: ...no.. really... I don't need a phone card...
Telemarketer: Hush it. You do.
Queen Serenity: *bursts into tears* NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Telemarketer: o_O Whassat you say?
Queen Serenity: *sob* A DEAD PERSON HAS NO USE FOR A PHONE! I DIED 1,000 PLUS YEARS AGO!
Telemarketer: o.o then how am I talking to you?
Queen Serenity: It's the magical cheesecake which hath brought your phone call into the abyss of the dead for reception.
Telemarketer: Are you on crack?
Queen Serenity: I SHALL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE PITS OF HADES FOR THAT DESECRATION!
Telemarketer: My apologies... o____O *blink-blink*
Queen Serenity: *pet* ^_^ That's a good telemarketer...
Telemarketer: o___o uh, my dog just peed on my dinner, bye! *hangs up*
Queen Serenity: ...good luck cleaning up your dinner, you psychotic mongoose...
~~~~
DONE with this chapter! ^__^ was it good huh huh was it was it? lol ok, enough hyperness... hope you liked it! Sooo sorry that took so long.
see ya'll later, same nutty time, same nutty fanfic identification number!
*flies off into sunset. sunset is actually a wall. uses magical powers and goes through the wall and into the universe of Gundam Wing. rejoices. Glomps Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa. Hugs Wufei. waves goodbye as the screen fades out.*
hehe, bye!
email: ILOVETCHAN@YAHOO.COM
OR
IM: tsuiraku hoshi