'We've had two interviews so now it's onto our third one with John Robert Critchon Jr. Other wise known as John Critchon or 'bad plan' as Aeryn keeps saying.

So make a warm or not so warm welcome to John Critchon' (Applause as John enters and sits down)

'Welcome John'

'Hey Sparky Dude. How's it going?'

'Its going fine, except for the pay, frelling crindars!' ( Critchon strokes Rygels's ears)

'Before we go off the subject lets talk about you, John'

'Fire them at me Guido!'

Question 1:

'What is your worst fear?'

'Apart from losing Aeryn again, it would be Earths destruction and seeing my family, Dad, Sister Olivia, Cousin Bobby and my friends be killed by the Scarrens. I won't let it happen!'

Question 2:

'Did you know Aeryn dreams about you? Do you dream about her?'

'She dreams about who? SPANKY!" ( Crichton wallops Rygel on the head twice)

(Applause from crowd)

'Why don't you keep your nose out, slug head. If I do dream about Aeryn I wouldn't tell you. Anyway, Rygel you probably dream about food'

'Got that right, oh and girls too. My Royal servants at my bedside'

'Rygel who would want to serve you?' (Grumble from Rygel)

Question 3:

'Who's your favourite Moya crew member?'

'Aeryn of course, she is a person I will always love no matter what obstacles fall between us. I will always be there for her, always. She is the centre of my universe'

Question 4:

'Do you have any children?'

'Not yet, but Aeryn has one on the way. I'm hoping for a girl. Maybe we'll call her Zhaan Critchon Jr after P'au Zotoh Zhaan. Her memory still lives with us'

Question 6:

'What's your favourite Drink?'

'Beer. You gotta love Beer. Suck the fellip nectar. Nothing tastes quite like a refreshing cold beer'

Question 7:

'Who is the scariest Alien you have ever met?'

'War MinisterAkhna scared the crap out of me. According to Aeryn it was her hat!' (Laughter from crowd)

Question 8:

'Do you have any Siblings?'

'Yes I do. I have one sister called Olivia, Livi for short. I miss her when I'm in space. I think about her everyday, wondering what she might be doing back on Earth, Is she alive?, dead? Is there a war down there? I love her'

Question 9:

'I have heard people on Earth keep animals as pets. Do you have any?'

'Well apart from you, Rygel!' (Laughter from crowd)

'What the Yotz! Me an animal, nonsense!'

'Back to the question. Yes I do have a pet. He's called Hubble and he's a type of animal called a dog. Remember their bark is worse than their bite!'

Question 10:

'What's your favourite food?'

'Well apart from loving ice-cream especially 'Baskin and Robins' it would be my Grandma Crichton's buttermilk biscuits. They were delicious. Forget the food cubes out here, her biscuits are the best' (Buzzer goes off)

'Well I'm afraid that all we have time for, Crichton. I hope you enjoyed chatting. Don't spent too much time in bed with Aeryn. I heard you thumping around with her, no wonder you have a narl on the way'

'Watch what your saying there Buckwheat Sixteenth. You never know I may feed you to the Scarrens, let them have a good taste of your slimy small body'

'Please save me, don't hurt me!'

'Well shut your mouth then and keep your frelling nose out of my business, frog!'

( Crichton draws out 'Winona' and exit's the building) (Crowd applauds)

I hope you enjoyed reading it. General Ka D'Argo is up next!!!

As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you.