Chapter 7: One Last Time
Remus let out a heavy sigh, then proceeded to crack his neck. He closed his eyes one last time, as if to muster the strength he would undoubtedly need for this one last encounter. He cleared his throat and watched as Sirius neither moved nor made any indication that he knew someone was in his presence.
"Leave me be. I wish not to speak with anyone." He finally said, his voice low and firm, but still depressed and broken in the undertones.
"Turn around and face me Sirius." Remus said in an equally firm and even tone.
Sirius let his head droop slightly, then began to slowly turn around. He looked into the now dark eyes of his once upon a time... best friend.
Remus turned to the guard and nodded. The man opened the barred gates and let him in, then closed them once again behind him.
For a long while the two stared at one and other, taking in their familiar qualities and appearances. The silence was sad and filled with high tension, both not daring to speak the first words.
Sirius looked sad beyond despair, but still stood tall and broad, his handsome qualities still evident in his face and muscular body. His hair was a bit longer and a little messy and unkempt. Though he had only been in Azkaban a few short months so far, his face showed thinner and alarmingly pale in the dim light that filled the cell.
Remus stood rigid, with his shoulders straight back and his arms crossed tightly in front of him. He looked unfalteringly at the wizard in front of him, choosing his words very carefully.
"Remus, you have to believe me. I am-" Sirius started but was quickly interrupted by a now fervent Remus.
"No old friend, I will not believe you this time. The fact still stands that, on the night that Lily and James died, you were still their secret keeper. I can't even begin to tell you of all the pain you have caused, not only to me. but to many others who loved you. I can no longer pretend that nothing has happened.. that they are not dead.. and that you are not a murderer. I can no longer live in my world of hate and blame all centered around you." Remus said in a very clear but disheartened tone.
Sirius took a breath and shook his head.
"I see that it is pointless to try and explain or make you believe that I am not than me who you think me to be. but let me say this Remus.. have I ever done anything to warrant your distrust?" Sirius replied, his confidence now back in some level.
Remus thought for a moment then grinned in an angered sort of way.
"Only once have you ever done anything to make me see fault in you.. And you and I both know and should remember it very well." Remus said stiffly.
Sirius's expression fell drastically as he let out a labored sigh. "Snape."
" You almost made me a murderer Sirius.. He could have died... and you were the one that sent him after me! Ironic how it is you who is now the murderer isn't it?" remus whispered, wishing this conversation didn't have to be.
"Remus. I cannot take back what happened when we were young. nor can I bring back lily or James.. But I can tell you that no matter what things you say to me.. or what things your don't. you will always be my brother, not by blood but by heart."
Remus looked at Sirius.. Something flashing in his eyes.
"I am sorry but a murderer is no brother of mine..." he said in almost a regretful tone.
"Why have you come here if you will not listen to the truth or believe anything I have to say for that matter?" Sirius asked.
" You once asked me for forgiveness... and I believe I owe you that much. even if you might not deserve it. All that you have done for me has not been forgotten, all the love and friendship you've shown me. I know that james would have forgiven you in a heartbeat..therefore I must forgive you as well... I forgive you for turning into the horrible thing you have become.. And I forgive you for what you have taken away from me. I forgive you this one last time." Remus replied, watching the impact the words had on Sirius.
Sirius pushed back the giant lump that had formed in his throat and with all his might held back the tears.
"You will never now the truth, for you are too scared to hear it and challenge what all have thought and said.. it is I who now forgive you Remus. perhaps one day you will show the bravery I once saw in you.and seek to know what honestly happened that night." Sirius said very calmly, a fire burning in his soul.
" I died that night Sirius.. Never again will I be the man I once was..good bye." Remus said, a rage flaring up momentarily in his eyes. then extinguished with the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks.
Remus walked over to stand in front of the bars, turning his back to Sirius, who had turned away as well. the guard unlocked the cell barred door and let Remus out. The man relocked the bars again and started off down the hallway.
He took one last glancing look over his shoulder before he followed in step.
One... last.. time.
Remus let out a heavy sigh, then proceeded to crack his neck. He closed his eyes one last time, as if to muster the strength he would undoubtedly need for this one last encounter. He cleared his throat and watched as Sirius neither moved nor made any indication that he knew someone was in his presence.
"Leave me be. I wish not to speak with anyone." He finally said, his voice low and firm, but still depressed and broken in the undertones.
"Turn around and face me Sirius." Remus said in an equally firm and even tone.
Sirius let his head droop slightly, then began to slowly turn around. He looked into the now dark eyes of his once upon a time... best friend.
Remus turned to the guard and nodded. The man opened the barred gates and let him in, then closed them once again behind him.
For a long while the two stared at one and other, taking in their familiar qualities and appearances. The silence was sad and filled with high tension, both not daring to speak the first words.
Sirius looked sad beyond despair, but still stood tall and broad, his handsome qualities still evident in his face and muscular body. His hair was a bit longer and a little messy and unkempt. Though he had only been in Azkaban a few short months so far, his face showed thinner and alarmingly pale in the dim light that filled the cell.
Remus stood rigid, with his shoulders straight back and his arms crossed tightly in front of him. He looked unfalteringly at the wizard in front of him, choosing his words very carefully.
"Remus, you have to believe me. I am-" Sirius started but was quickly interrupted by a now fervent Remus.
"No old friend, I will not believe you this time. The fact still stands that, on the night that Lily and James died, you were still their secret keeper. I can't even begin to tell you of all the pain you have caused, not only to me. but to many others who loved you. I can no longer pretend that nothing has happened.. that they are not dead.. and that you are not a murderer. I can no longer live in my world of hate and blame all centered around you." Remus said in a very clear but disheartened tone.
Sirius took a breath and shook his head.
"I see that it is pointless to try and explain or make you believe that I am not than me who you think me to be. but let me say this Remus.. have I ever done anything to warrant your distrust?" Sirius replied, his confidence now back in some level.
Remus thought for a moment then grinned in an angered sort of way.
"Only once have you ever done anything to make me see fault in you.. And you and I both know and should remember it very well." Remus said stiffly.
Sirius's expression fell drastically as he let out a labored sigh. "Snape."
" You almost made me a murderer Sirius.. He could have died... and you were the one that sent him after me! Ironic how it is you who is now the murderer isn't it?" remus whispered, wishing this conversation didn't have to be.
"Remus. I cannot take back what happened when we were young. nor can I bring back lily or James.. But I can tell you that no matter what things you say to me.. or what things your don't. you will always be my brother, not by blood but by heart."
Remus looked at Sirius.. Something flashing in his eyes.
"I am sorry but a murderer is no brother of mine..." he said in almost a regretful tone.
"Why have you come here if you will not listen to the truth or believe anything I have to say for that matter?" Sirius asked.
" You once asked me for forgiveness... and I believe I owe you that much. even if you might not deserve it. All that you have done for me has not been forgotten, all the love and friendship you've shown me. I know that james would have forgiven you in a heartbeat..therefore I must forgive you as well... I forgive you for turning into the horrible thing you have become.. And I forgive you for what you have taken away from me. I forgive you this one last time." Remus replied, watching the impact the words had on Sirius.
Sirius pushed back the giant lump that had formed in his throat and with all his might held back the tears.
"You will never now the truth, for you are too scared to hear it and challenge what all have thought and said.. it is I who now forgive you Remus. perhaps one day you will show the bravery I once saw in you.and seek to know what honestly happened that night." Sirius said very calmly, a fire burning in his soul.
" I died that night Sirius.. Never again will I be the man I once was..good bye." Remus said, a rage flaring up momentarily in his eyes. then extinguished with the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks.
Remus walked over to stand in front of the bars, turning his back to Sirius, who had turned away as well. the guard unlocked the cell barred door and let Remus out. The man relocked the bars again and started off down the hallway.
He took one last glancing look over his shoulder before he followed in step.
One... last.. time.