I woke up to the sounds of Adam snoring. He stayed last night after I had
begged him countless times. I just wanted someone to be near me, so I felt
somewhat protected.
Adam and I stayed up most of the night talking. We had shared my bed and had lain on our sides so we could see each other as we talked. I learned things about Adam that I had never known before. Everyone's always so wrapped up in their own lives that they never take the chance to get to know Adam.
I had asked him a few questions. Mostly about what the team had thought of me after it all happened. He told me I wasn't going to like most of it. He was right about that.
He told me that Portman thought I was weak, until he learned they had knives and I was defenseless. I'm sure he would have been just as weak as I was if it was him they were after. Knock on wood that never happens.
Fulton was scared shitless. At least that's what Adam said. That he locked himself in his room and refused to see or speak to anyone. I asked about what he did for food and Adam told me that Portman had brought it to him.
Guy was. okay, as Adam said. He was upset that I never told any of them that I was gay, but got over that quickly as to find out if I was okay.
Adam told me all the Ducks were at the hospital waiting to hear any word on me. But, no one could see me, no one but family and Bombay somehow sneaked under that rule as he's like my father.
Most of the Ducks left, I guess they didn't want a homosexual as a friend, Adam said they hadn't heard, nor spoken to any of those since that first day at the hospital.
I was upset when I woke up. Why? Because my friends were abandoning me. Just because of my sexual choice. Life's difficult.
I lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling. I wanted to see Fulton, Portman, everyone. Show them I was better; show them I'm not any different from a heterosexual Charlie. I plan on doing that as soon as Adam wakes up.
Adam! I shouted in my mind. I just couldn't bring myself to wake him. He looked too peaceful and it was something I never like to disturb. I opted instead to take a hot shower and wait for him to get up.
I slowly rose from my bed and slipped on my slippers. The fuzziness rubbed against my feet and almost made me laugh, but I smiled instead. My slippers could always bring me to a happy state. I gathered my towel off the floor and my boxers. Adam had asked last night if he could see the scars and I told him in the morning. I plan on keeping that promise.
I opened the door to my bathroom and walked in. Softly, I shut the door behind me, no point in waking him up if I'm going to take a shower, I suppose. I hung my towel on the hook and turned to look in the mirror. I looked like shit.
My hair was everywhere, I had tear stains from last night still on my face and my eyes had no color. Hell, I had no color. I was as pale as a sheet, something that was new to me.
After decided I would look better when I was done, I looked toward my forearm. I was scared to unwrap the bandage that the doctor told me to keep on all the scars. I keep it close to my body, cradling it; I didn't want to do this. It would be the first time I would see them, exposed to my criticism. To my sight, I could see everything those bastards made wrong with me. And I didn't want to look.
I moved my hand to hold the flap that lifts up. I pulled it lightly, the white slowly untangled itself from around my arm, and I could see the first one. The one they twisted and pushed into me more. I couldn't look any longer, but I felt I had too.
I moved onto the next, the one that was around my stomach I had to unwrap like an ace bandage. This one was even harder to look at. I looked straight ahead into the mirror and prayed it didn't look as bad as it felt. My prayers weren't answered. The scar was rounded on two sides and pointy on the other two, at least they hadn't twisted this one.
I moved onto the one on my hip. I slowly pealed the tape off so I didn't feel a burn, and the scar soon came into view. This one was horrible. It was repeated, I was stabbed more than one. The same design was on my hip almost 4 other times, to the right of the first, to the left, one angled down cut where the first one had, making it longer, and the last looked like it was meant to outline them all.
I took the fabric that was wrapped to my upper thigh off solemnly. I knew it was bad. Hell, this is the one that felt worse than them all. I looked down when I felt the fabric fall to my feet. There was the first one I got. The worst out of them all.
I sniffed and moved my hand to wipe at the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn't even look at myself without feeling disgusted, how am I supposed to let Adam see?
Adam and I stayed up most of the night talking. We had shared my bed and had lain on our sides so we could see each other as we talked. I learned things about Adam that I had never known before. Everyone's always so wrapped up in their own lives that they never take the chance to get to know Adam.
I had asked him a few questions. Mostly about what the team had thought of me after it all happened. He told me I wasn't going to like most of it. He was right about that.
He told me that Portman thought I was weak, until he learned they had knives and I was defenseless. I'm sure he would have been just as weak as I was if it was him they were after. Knock on wood that never happens.
Fulton was scared shitless. At least that's what Adam said. That he locked himself in his room and refused to see or speak to anyone. I asked about what he did for food and Adam told me that Portman had brought it to him.
Guy was. okay, as Adam said. He was upset that I never told any of them that I was gay, but got over that quickly as to find out if I was okay.
Adam told me all the Ducks were at the hospital waiting to hear any word on me. But, no one could see me, no one but family and Bombay somehow sneaked under that rule as he's like my father.
Most of the Ducks left, I guess they didn't want a homosexual as a friend, Adam said they hadn't heard, nor spoken to any of those since that first day at the hospital.
I was upset when I woke up. Why? Because my friends were abandoning me. Just because of my sexual choice. Life's difficult.
I lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling. I wanted to see Fulton, Portman, everyone. Show them I was better; show them I'm not any different from a heterosexual Charlie. I plan on doing that as soon as Adam wakes up.
Adam! I shouted in my mind. I just couldn't bring myself to wake him. He looked too peaceful and it was something I never like to disturb. I opted instead to take a hot shower and wait for him to get up.
I slowly rose from my bed and slipped on my slippers. The fuzziness rubbed against my feet and almost made me laugh, but I smiled instead. My slippers could always bring me to a happy state. I gathered my towel off the floor and my boxers. Adam had asked last night if he could see the scars and I told him in the morning. I plan on keeping that promise.
I opened the door to my bathroom and walked in. Softly, I shut the door behind me, no point in waking him up if I'm going to take a shower, I suppose. I hung my towel on the hook and turned to look in the mirror. I looked like shit.
My hair was everywhere, I had tear stains from last night still on my face and my eyes had no color. Hell, I had no color. I was as pale as a sheet, something that was new to me.
After decided I would look better when I was done, I looked toward my forearm. I was scared to unwrap the bandage that the doctor told me to keep on all the scars. I keep it close to my body, cradling it; I didn't want to do this. It would be the first time I would see them, exposed to my criticism. To my sight, I could see everything those bastards made wrong with me. And I didn't want to look.
I moved my hand to hold the flap that lifts up. I pulled it lightly, the white slowly untangled itself from around my arm, and I could see the first one. The one they twisted and pushed into me more. I couldn't look any longer, but I felt I had too.
I moved onto the next, the one that was around my stomach I had to unwrap like an ace bandage. This one was even harder to look at. I looked straight ahead into the mirror and prayed it didn't look as bad as it felt. My prayers weren't answered. The scar was rounded on two sides and pointy on the other two, at least they hadn't twisted this one.
I moved onto the one on my hip. I slowly pealed the tape off so I didn't feel a burn, and the scar soon came into view. This one was horrible. It was repeated, I was stabbed more than one. The same design was on my hip almost 4 other times, to the right of the first, to the left, one angled down cut where the first one had, making it longer, and the last looked like it was meant to outline them all.
I took the fabric that was wrapped to my upper thigh off solemnly. I knew it was bad. Hell, this is the one that felt worse than them all. I looked down when I felt the fabric fall to my feet. There was the first one I got. The worst out of them all.
I sniffed and moved my hand to wipe at the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn't even look at myself without feeling disgusted, how am I supposed to let Adam see?