Chapter 2: Prowling Tiger

Oh, how much I wish I could just strangle that stupid monkey… He is so driving me nuts! I'm really going up the wall, froward, backward, vertical, horizontal, diagonally… You name it, I bet I could go up the wall that way, with that idiot driving me nuts like that. Doesn't he know what moderation means? You know, moderate the amount of suffering he puts the people around him through? I mean, seriously, I am not surprised at all that Sanzo wrecks, like, four, five fans a day on that idiot's head. I have absolutely no idea how Sanzo could ever possibly want an idiot like him. Man, if I were Sanzo, I'd have kicked that saru's ass from here to Timbuktu, wherever that place is.

Hey, don't look at me like that. You know what I'm talking about, I know what I'm talking about, isn't that like, enough already? I'm not Hakkai, if you haven't noticed. I don't get all fired up on details. Just 'cause I don't know where Timbuktu is, isn't gonna stop me from using that word, in that sentence, in that meaning.

Anyway, putting that aside, let's get on to more important things, such as… you free tonight? Oh, all right, I understand, your mother told you not to listen to strangers, especially strangers you can't see. Well honestly, between you and me, we both know you aren't that goody-goody-two-shoes, innocent little princess darling of your mother's. Don't we?

Hey, all right… all right… no need to get so flustered up and all. You don't want to date me? I'm fine with that. Perfectly. Just… don't get jealous when you see me walking down the street with some other hot babe hand, hm? Oh… regretting already? What a pity… I don't seem to have any woman in mind now… so…what about it? No? Fine. I'm just not the type of man who appreciates getting blown off more than once. Ciao.

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Hey friend. Haven't seen you around before. Well, I suppose, with the kind of life that I lead it's not surprising. It's not like I stay in one place long enough to even get properly acquainted to the bed. I mean, seriously, we're both guys, so I'll tell you something. You want to give a girl a night she'll never forget? Just make sure you don't forget the bed. You don't know what I'm talking about? I mean, look at you! You're like, how old, and you still haven't taken a woman to bed? Man, I've got to hand it to guys like you. I mean, look at Hakkai for goodness sake! He's the perfect gentleman and he's taken a woman to bed before. Well, it's not like he told me directly, but you know… it's in the implied meaning. He's lived with a woman for a few years! Face it, man! How can any man, at all, live under the same roof as a woman, who's not related to you of course, and not share the same bed? It's obvious, isn't it?

Anyway, as I was saying, when you're with a woman, make sure you don't forget simple but meaningful things. Like, how wide bed is, where the bed posts are, whether there's a head board or not… you know, things that won't accidentally render your bed partner unconscious 'cause you forgot it was there.

Hey, you're real lucky today, 'cause you're getting advice on how to make a girl happy from the one and only babe magnet in this part of the country. Don't believe me, if you wish. It's not like I lose anything, to be exact, I just gained something - one less competitor. On the other hand, it's not like you were much of an opponent in the first place. Huh! Well, I'm not gonna waste anymore of my precious time with losers like you. Au revoir.

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Well, well, well… What do we have here? What's a beautiful woman like you doing alone on such a wonderful night? Don't you think it's too much of a pity to waste a starry night like this, sitting alone, waiting for your prince charming to arrive on his pearly white horse? Such a waste of beauty… such beauty… such beauty… Oh, but I'm no poet. I couldn't possibly be able to tell you the multitude of things that I could possibly say. It'd take far too long… But then honestly… what do you think of my company? It isn't too bad, is it? I could show you more, that is, if you let me… But of course, I would never force a woman to do something that she'd never do on her own free will. After all, babes don't cry, 'cause they aren't supposed to be sad. Did I tell you that I hate a woman's tears? I didn't? Well, now you know… You're not gonna use that on me are you? Oh! I should never have let you know my weakness… What should I do? What should I do? Maybe you could tell me… privately…

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End of chapter 2

Note: I just couldn't resist writing this. It doesn't really have anything to do with the prologue, almost like a fic within a fic. Basically, this is my take on what Gojyo is like. I suppose it IS a little naughty of me to think of anyone doing this, but all the same I hope you enjoyed it.

The first part, is basically Gojyo complaining about his many woes (actually it's just one big one - Goku), and getting side-tracked when he starts trying to get a date with the reader. The middle section is probably set with him in some anonymous pub or club, where he meets some guy around his age. The last portion is set somewhere outside, where he meets a lonely woman, whom he believes to be a widow, or that sort (we all know that Gojyo's an expert at identifying different types of women). Well, as you can see, he's trying to pick her up.

Extra note: I don't think that this story is too bad, but I'm quite sure that I'm not going to write something like this again. I can feel myself become somewhat slightly more horny… More Gojyo like at least.

The title for this chap, "Prowling Tiger", is based on Gojyo's actions. I feel that Gojyo is like a tiger that is prowling its prey. He knows what he wants, exactly how he wants it, and when he wants it. The thing is that no one knows what it is that he wants. His actions are graceful and elegant, the way a tiger would be, never rushing things, letting things be. However, under all this laid-back-ness is an attitude to match. He is mean in combat, and hardly what most people would call "a pussycat". That's why I think Gojyo is a prowling tiger. 'Cause he's silent and graceful, but not because he is weak, but because he is waiting, for something.

Final note: So far, which writing style do you prefer? Please read and review… I need to know what you want so that I can deliver it… Customer satisfaction guaranteed!

(I feel so stupid now… I think I'll go for a more serious writing style next... Having your IQ reduced by 20 and becoming horny does not forebode well… I better go back to being a literature student and see how tough I can make Sanzo's life!)