"Adam?" I asked. I waited till he turned to look at me before I continued.
"Adam, I want to go see Fulton. I'm worried about him." I said looking into
his eyes. I saw agreement there.
"I've been wondering how he's doing, as well. Do you want to see him now?" He asked me. I saw him take a glance at me, downward and up again. I laughed at what he was trying to tell me with his movements.
"Alright, alright, let me change and then we can go see him. Go into the bathroom." I laughed at the look on his face. He was giving me puppy dog eyes, and God strike me here if it's not the cutest thing I've ever seen.
God never stroke me so I figured that was a good sign. I changed and had just asked Adam to stay with me in the bathroom as I finished getting ready. While I brushed my teeth he sat on the toilet bowl, talking with me. It felt great to have a friend that would do that for me.
We walked back into my room and I moved to get my windbreaker. It may only be September but it's starting to get cold here in Minnesota. "Adam." I turned around suddenly. He looked up from tying his shoes and waited for me to finish. "Are you okay with me being gay and having been almost killed?" I asked fidgeting with my hands. I was nervous of his answer, scared of what he though of me.
"Charlie. Would I be here right now if I didn't think it was okay you're gay?" He stood and moved away from my bed towards me. "You having been almost killed? I will never be okay with that." He said. I lowered my head in shame. "Charlie." He cupped my chin and brought my face upwards again. "Who would be okay with it? You certainly aren't, I certainly am not. God, you're my best friend, Charlie, someone trying to hurt you in anyway isn't okay with me. And as far as I can see it, it shouldn't be."
I felt small with the tears outlining my eyes. I'm sure he could see them, because soon he embraced me in a tight hug and told me he loved me. God, Adam, I love you too.
"Okay." I sniffed moving back from our embrace. I wiped my eyes to clear my vision. "Let's go." I said. I was ready to face him. I was ready to face them all. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm scared to death of just leaving my dorm room.
Adam walked to the door and twisted the knob. Stepping outside he waited for me to follow. "Charlie, we don't have to go." But I felt like I had to see Fulton. Felt like I had to see all the Ducks.
I put my right foot out in front of the rest of me. I shifted all my weight to it and tried to bring my left foot in front of me. I froze. I couldn't move from where I stood. I tried to get to Adam who stood just out of reach, but I couldn't do it. I turned around and ran from the door. I jumped onto my bed and tears started to slip down my cheeks.
I heard him walk in and the door shut behind him. I heard his footsteps coming closer to me. I felt the familiar weight of him when he dropped on my bed beside me. I smelled his familiar smell, the only thing letting me know it was Adam.
"We don't have to go to him." I heard him say. I moved slightly so I wasn't lying on my scarred hip. "Do you want to see if he'll come here?" He asked me and I rapidly shook my head no.
I felt so out of place now, as if I didn't belong here in Eden Hall, didn't belong as a Duck. What kind of Hockey player can't even leave his room to see another player? What kind? The Charlie Conway kind.
"I've been wondering how he's doing, as well. Do you want to see him now?" He asked me. I saw him take a glance at me, downward and up again. I laughed at what he was trying to tell me with his movements.
"Alright, alright, let me change and then we can go see him. Go into the bathroom." I laughed at the look on his face. He was giving me puppy dog eyes, and God strike me here if it's not the cutest thing I've ever seen.
God never stroke me so I figured that was a good sign. I changed and had just asked Adam to stay with me in the bathroom as I finished getting ready. While I brushed my teeth he sat on the toilet bowl, talking with me. It felt great to have a friend that would do that for me.
We walked back into my room and I moved to get my windbreaker. It may only be September but it's starting to get cold here in Minnesota. "Adam." I turned around suddenly. He looked up from tying his shoes and waited for me to finish. "Are you okay with me being gay and having been almost killed?" I asked fidgeting with my hands. I was nervous of his answer, scared of what he though of me.
"Charlie. Would I be here right now if I didn't think it was okay you're gay?" He stood and moved away from my bed towards me. "You having been almost killed? I will never be okay with that." He said. I lowered my head in shame. "Charlie." He cupped my chin and brought my face upwards again. "Who would be okay with it? You certainly aren't, I certainly am not. God, you're my best friend, Charlie, someone trying to hurt you in anyway isn't okay with me. And as far as I can see it, it shouldn't be."
I felt small with the tears outlining my eyes. I'm sure he could see them, because soon he embraced me in a tight hug and told me he loved me. God, Adam, I love you too.
"Okay." I sniffed moving back from our embrace. I wiped my eyes to clear my vision. "Let's go." I said. I was ready to face him. I was ready to face them all. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm scared to death of just leaving my dorm room.
Adam walked to the door and twisted the knob. Stepping outside he waited for me to follow. "Charlie, we don't have to go." But I felt like I had to see Fulton. Felt like I had to see all the Ducks.
I put my right foot out in front of the rest of me. I shifted all my weight to it and tried to bring my left foot in front of me. I froze. I couldn't move from where I stood. I tried to get to Adam who stood just out of reach, but I couldn't do it. I turned around and ran from the door. I jumped onto my bed and tears started to slip down my cheeks.
I heard him walk in and the door shut behind him. I heard his footsteps coming closer to me. I felt the familiar weight of him when he dropped on my bed beside me. I smelled his familiar smell, the only thing letting me know it was Adam.
"We don't have to go to him." I heard him say. I moved slightly so I wasn't lying on my scarred hip. "Do you want to see if he'll come here?" He asked me and I rapidly shook my head no.
I felt so out of place now, as if I didn't belong here in Eden Hall, didn't belong as a Duck. What kind of Hockey player can't even leave his room to see another player? What kind? The Charlie Conway kind.