Chapter 3: Angry Tiger
Finally! Peace and quiet… I was almost expecting this never to come with that baka saru hounding me endlessly. Thank goodness he's finally given up… Now for that bath that I've been waiting for, for so long… Shrugging off his outer robes, Sanzo took in a deep breath, trying to ease his mind from the troubles that had besieged him ceaselessly ever since the journey to the west began… The constant whining of a certain monkey… the problems regarding food and accommodation… the loud brusque voice belonging to his redheaded companion regularly piercing his thoughts, giving him a terrible migraine… And of course, the perpetual need to decipher the meaningless smile that his jade coloured-eyed companion always gave, whether he was happy or sad, angry or humorous.
At least there are no problems now… Of course there aren't any… That stupid half-breed is happily skirt-chasing downstairs… The idiotic saru has finally moved on and is now somewhere else bugging some poor soul to death… As for Hakkai, he's doing what he loves best - caring for everyone around him, but himself. He's always out buying supplies for us, for the stupid trip, for the journey that never ends… He never cares about himself though… … Well. That's not going to stop me from enjoying this well-deserved bath of mine. I don't care what happens, so long as they don't burn down this miserable too-small town by the time I wake up… Knowing them, it could happen, but… well, who cares anyway…
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It was raining heavily. Too heavy for his liking, but still, he moved, silently through the hallways, walking as if he were trapped in a continuously repeating dream. Am I not? Isn't this a dream? But, if it is… Why can't I change it? Why can't I change anything? Must it happen? Blaming himself for his inability, Kouryuu tried to stop himself, but his body moved on its own volition, each step taking himself closer to the fate that he knew had been chosen specially for him a long time ago. No, no, no… I don't want this… This doesn't have to happen, not again… no… Kouryuu silently prayed to no avail. "Come in, Kouryuu, I've been waiting for you for quite some time now. There's something I want to tell you…" the rest of the scene played out as Kouryuu fought an inner battle, trying to will himself to scream out the warning, that the youkai were coming. Please, please… don't let it be too late… please… not again… What Kouryuu had been dreading came to pass, the many youkai suddenly exploding into the room, each trying to be the assassin to have killed a Sanzo. "No!" Kouryuu finally screamed, but it was too late. Again.
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Waking up in cold sweat, Sanzo tried to dry his forehead with the back of his hand, but he realised that he was still partially submerged in the bath he had fallen asleep into earlier. He scrubbed himself clean and lifted himself from the cool water, wishing futilely for an instant that the water that dripped off him would bring the dirt of his past with it. Thus cleansing his soul of the blood that he had not spilt, but had borne in guilt, that was not his, for the better part of a decade now. "Ch. Such stupid thoughts. The baka saru's idiocy must be rubbing off on me. It had better not be permanent. Who knows what this world would become with one more idiot," Sanzo muttered to himself as he dried his skin and walked out of his bath with just a towel around his waist.
Sitting himself down in one of the two available chairs in the room, Sanzo tapped a cigarette out of his pack with the practice of an experienced smoker. Lighting it, he took a deep draught, sat back and closed his eyes, relaxing his mind, silently hoping that the dream, no, the nightmare that had haunted him for the past ten years would leave him alone for the next few minutes at least.
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"Sanzo? I'm back!" came Hakkai's greeting as he walked into Sanzo's room, unannounced and uninvited. Hakkai hesitated a moment when he realised that the monk wasn't dressed at all. All he had was a towel wrapped around his waist, and a cigarette dangling at the edge of his lips, threatening to fall at the slightest quiver. Hakkai simply smiled and closed the door behind him and placed the items that he had bought for Sanzo on the table. Hakkai went through the items systematically, naming the items as he went. "Here's the newspaper you asked me to get for you, it's a few days old 'cause it's from a city a couple miles north of here. This town isn't big enough to support a printing press, so they get their news from foreign parts. I managed to find a couple packs of your favourite brand of cigarettes…" Hakkai trailed off as he realised a hand was being held up. Sanzo barely looked Hakkai in the eye and said, "Leave the things that are meant for me, and get out. I want to be alone." Nodding, Hakkai gathered the rest of the things and made to leave the room. Remembering something, he turned back to place the credit card on loan to Sanzo on the table, and was about to say something, but he saw the spaced out expression that Sanzo was wearing and realised it would be of no use no matter what he said. Sanzo would not hear anything that he said now.
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Watching Hakkai exit the room from the corner of his eyes, Sanzo sighed deeply and stood up, not bothering to pick up the towel that had fallen from his waist to expose the pale flesh beneath. Stretching, Sanzo rummaged through the assortment of items that was left on the table, looking for the clean clothes that he knew was left there for him by Hakkai. Pulling on the fresh smelling jeans, Sanzo tried to figure out what he was going to do next. There seemed to be nothing for him to do all the time. Goku was always looking for food, Gojyo, for women, and Hakkai was always cleaning up after the ikkou. Sanzo, was always the one left with nothing to do, only to read the newspaper or get so bored that he actually started thinking that he might actually put up with the saru's noise just because he needed something to complain about. Looking out of the window, Sanzo saw children playing happily in the backyard of the inn he was staying in. For a fleeting moment, Sanzo found himself wishing for a normal childhood, for a normal life where he had parents whom he loved and was loved in return. "You are really becoming daft, Sanzo. You've been listening to those bakas for far too long… You're beginning to think like them." Snorting, Sanzo smiled mirthlessly, "Stupidity is contagious."
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End of chapter 3
Note: Well, I've decided that in order to bring out Sanzo's complex character, a Sanzo POV fic is needed, but I'm afraid I dare not go that in depth yet, so I've chosen a somewhat pointless third-person fic instead. I hope that the fic isn't too confusing… For those who are wondering, the beginning is linked to the beginning of chapter 1, when Goku is turned away by Sanzo for the sake of a bath. Also, I did not write an action-by-action fic, so I did not describe Sanzo stripping or putting on his clothes, although in the end, Sanzo is still half-naked. The upper half naked, of course.
Extra note: To me, Sanzo is like a tiger that is really angry with himself. He's angry at everything: himself, his past, his companions (we all know he has no friends)… the world in general. This anger comes from his past, when he was vulnerable and weak, unable to control anything, having to watch his master die right before his very eyes… In the same way, I find Sanzo very much suicidal. In battles he rushes straight into the fray, not caring at all, even though he is undoubtedly the weakest among the ikkou. As a result, he often ends up injured or poisoned because of his careless actions. These are the actions of an angry tiger, no longer thinking straight, only thinking about hurting, possibly the world, possibly himself, so long as he doesn't have to feel anymore. However, this does not make him an easy opponent to defeat. If anything, it makes him an even more dangerous foe, because the anger makes him calculative and cunning. A very deadly combination.
Final note: What do you think of my fic so far? Please R&R! Arigato!
Btw, gomen for any mistakes. I'm basically typing the entire fic in one day. I've already spent six hours… I'm not sure if I can finish it altogether… ^0^ Yawn… I'm so tired… I think I'll try and push ahead to finish the fic today…