"Charlie? I've got a surprise for you." I mumbled something into the pillow
my head was still pushed into. I turned half way so I couldn't see what he
was doing; right now I wanted to wallow in my self-pity.
"What do you want, Adam?" I asked him. I rubbed my eyes but my vision was still blurry. I knew I looked like shit so why must he make me turn to see what he wanted?
"Hey, Charlie." I stiffened at the voice. I hadn't heard it in weeks. He was almost all that was on my mind. Was he okay, how was he doing? The questions all I needed to do was turn around for the answers for.
"Fulton." I said forcing myself to stand up and move to where the two stood in my door way. "God, Fulton." I leapt into his arms and held on for dear life. I felt his arms wrap around me and I let myself cry in his arms. I felt him walk into the room and I watched Adam leave closing the door behind him.
"God, Charlie. I miss you." He said to me. I heard tears in his eyes. His voice sounded throaty and groggy. He'd been crying. I held on tighter as if my life depended on him, and in this case it did.
"Fulton." I pulled my legs tighter around his waist. I leaned back in his arms. "God, I miss you, Fulton. I tried to see you yesterday but I couldn't. I couldn't get out of the room. It scared the shit out of me." I cried looking at him.
A lone tear streaked its way down one side of his face. He could feel my fright. He always could. It was always as if we were connected emotionally. "I was so scared for you. I didn't want to do anything. I think the only thing I got up for was to go to the bathroom."
He was always able to make me laugh. "Adam told me that Portman was bringing your food to you. I wanted to be with you when he told me that. Hell, I wanted to be with you even before that." I said to him.
Maybe my mom and Bombay weren't the only ones I told. I had told my boyfriend. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. If I wasn't talking to myself that day no one would've known anything and you wouldn't have gotten hurt." He was babbling and normally it was adorable for him to, but I didn't feel that now was the time it was.
"Wait, wait, wait. What are you saying?" I asked him. I was completely confused and I don't think him telling me would have made it make anymore sense.
"I was talking to myself about us. And I guess they overheard and they went after you. I'm so sorry. God, I wish I never did any of that." He said and I could feel his truth in his words. I always could. "What do you want me to do to make it up to you?" He asked looking up at me.
"There's nothing you can do. Fulton, listen, I don't care that you were talking about us. It's both of our prerogatives by being in this relationship." I slid my legs down him so my feet touched the floor. "There's nothing, we can't go back and change what happened. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to." I said. I walked to my desk and pulled out my chair. I sat in it and waited for what I knew would come.
"Charlie, why the hell would you not want to change what happened?!" He shouted at me and I wondered why he was so upset about it. I was the one that was beaten up.
"Because if that didn't happen I wouldn't be here now, neither would you. Fulton, we can only go forward from here and we can't go and change the past. What's done is done." When had I become the reasonable one in our relationship?
"Then I guess if we can only move forward, than it's time I do this." He said. The way he spoke those words scared me. I didn't know what to think of what was coming, but I knew it wasn't good. I took a deep breath as he opened his mouth to speak to me. "I'm not in love with you anymore." I couldn't let my breath out.
"What do you want, Adam?" I asked him. I rubbed my eyes but my vision was still blurry. I knew I looked like shit so why must he make me turn to see what he wanted?
"Hey, Charlie." I stiffened at the voice. I hadn't heard it in weeks. He was almost all that was on my mind. Was he okay, how was he doing? The questions all I needed to do was turn around for the answers for.
"Fulton." I said forcing myself to stand up and move to where the two stood in my door way. "God, Fulton." I leapt into his arms and held on for dear life. I felt his arms wrap around me and I let myself cry in his arms. I felt him walk into the room and I watched Adam leave closing the door behind him.
"God, Charlie. I miss you." He said to me. I heard tears in his eyes. His voice sounded throaty and groggy. He'd been crying. I held on tighter as if my life depended on him, and in this case it did.
"Fulton." I pulled my legs tighter around his waist. I leaned back in his arms. "God, I miss you, Fulton. I tried to see you yesterday but I couldn't. I couldn't get out of the room. It scared the shit out of me." I cried looking at him.
A lone tear streaked its way down one side of his face. He could feel my fright. He always could. It was always as if we were connected emotionally. "I was so scared for you. I didn't want to do anything. I think the only thing I got up for was to go to the bathroom."
He was always able to make me laugh. "Adam told me that Portman was bringing your food to you. I wanted to be with you when he told me that. Hell, I wanted to be with you even before that." I said to him.
Maybe my mom and Bombay weren't the only ones I told. I had told my boyfriend. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. If I wasn't talking to myself that day no one would've known anything and you wouldn't have gotten hurt." He was babbling and normally it was adorable for him to, but I didn't feel that now was the time it was.
"Wait, wait, wait. What are you saying?" I asked him. I was completely confused and I don't think him telling me would have made it make anymore sense.
"I was talking to myself about us. And I guess they overheard and they went after you. I'm so sorry. God, I wish I never did any of that." He said and I could feel his truth in his words. I always could. "What do you want me to do to make it up to you?" He asked looking up at me.
"There's nothing you can do. Fulton, listen, I don't care that you were talking about us. It's both of our prerogatives by being in this relationship." I slid my legs down him so my feet touched the floor. "There's nothing, we can't go back and change what happened. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to." I said. I walked to my desk and pulled out my chair. I sat in it and waited for what I knew would come.
"Charlie, why the hell would you not want to change what happened?!" He shouted at me and I wondered why he was so upset about it. I was the one that was beaten up.
"Because if that didn't happen I wouldn't be here now, neither would you. Fulton, we can only go forward from here and we can't go and change the past. What's done is done." When had I become the reasonable one in our relationship?
"Then I guess if we can only move forward, than it's time I do this." He said. The way he spoke those words scared me. I didn't know what to think of what was coming, but I knew it wasn't good. I took a deep breath as he opened his mouth to speak to me. "I'm not in love with you anymore." I couldn't let my breath out.