Tiger Power - Epilogue - Saiyuki Style
Wyn: I've finally reached the end of my first decent fic! Yay!
Goku: What are you talking about? What's a "fic"?
Gojyo: Baka saru! Don't let that evil author continue this torture! (starts waving his hands in front of the readers to distract them)
Wyn: (rolls up his sleeves) Sanzo, I need to borrow that…
*Thwap* [You didn't think that I would shoot them, did you? I'm not that evil yet…]
Gojyo: Hey! What was that for? (rubs his head unhappily) I mean, look at what you've done to Hakkai… He's so upset after what you did to him chapter 4. (gestures to a clueless Hakkai)
Hakkai: (looks up, startled by the attention) Huh? What's going in on?
(A mob of fan girls rushes Hakkai and starts fussing over him)
Hakkai: (while fighting to stand up and get away from the fan girls) Aaa… Please get off… Daijoubu… Honestly. Don't believe what Gojyo says. I'm fine.
(Suddenly gaining inspiration by Wyn's frantic pointing at an old lady)
Hakkai: Actually, it's Gojyo who's intimidated by the old hag that Wyn got to be the supposedly cute widow…
Fan girls: Really! Oh… Gojyo, you poor thing… (runs over to Gojyo and… throws themselves at him)
[I feel so evil right now… maybe I should go back to what I was saying… besides, Hakkai is getting a little too un-Hakkai-like…]
Wyn: (straining to be heard over the shouts of help in the background) As I was saying… This is the epilogue, that means final wrap-up of a story, Goku, of my first fic!
(Everyone suddenly stops what they are doing and stares menacingly at Wyn)
Sanzo: (clears his throat and cocks his gun) Hm?
Hakkai: Err… Sanzo, that isn't really necessary is it? Don't forget, this fic is only rated "G". There are children under twelve reading this as well…
(Sanzo finally puts down his gun and everyone breathes a sigh of relief… and they resume glaring at Wyn)
Wyn: (big sweat drop) Alright, alright… The truth is that this is my second fic… (scowls at the people around him) Happy now? Huh! (crosses his arms and leaves the room)
Gojyo: Yes! Now we can control what we're going to do! (rubs his hands together in evil anticipation) Hmm… What should I have first… maybe some really cute babe… I've had enough after that stupid old hag…
Hakkai: Gojyo, I don't think so. This story is for children as well…
Gojyo: (sighs unhappily, then eyes light up) I know, I'll write a story on how the baka saru turned into… (drums rolling) A SARU!!!
Goku: Hey! I'm not a saru… (voice dies away as the room dims into darkness)
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Once upon a time…
Sanzo: Ch! Is this the best beginning you can come up with? I figured as much. Ero kappa.
(Gojyo starts typing very fast before anyone can stop him)
There was a young and beautiful maiden called Sanzo who had married a handsome young man called Hakkai. They went to the market, bought a potion and turned their henchboy, a stupid boy called Son Goku the saru, into a SARU! The end.
(Fan girls try to restrain Hakkai and Sanzo from killing Gojyo, and they "accidentally" touch them at places that shouldn't normally be talked about. A plate of cookies left on the table for Wyn as his snack distracted Goku, so he didn't see what Gojyo typed.)
Sanzo and Hakkai: Hentai! (random swipes of the fan and a few gunshots are heard)
Sanzo: (lamenting unhappily and shooting away at the same time) Why do we have to be the ones with hentai fans?
(A sudden burst of ki scares all the fan girls out of the room)
Hakkai: Sumimasen… I was distracted by Sanzo and a fan girl… err… Never mind. (blushes furiously) Anyway, what are we going to do now?
Goku: (finishing the last cookie on the plate) Ne… Sanzo, what is "fic"? Is it a fish and a chicken combined? Is it tasty? Ne… Sanzo… Sanzo? Sanzo! Sanzo…
Sanzo: Urusai! Baka saru! (hits Goku repeatedly with his famous fan)
Hakkai: Maa… maa… Sanzo… Don't use such violence on the poor boy… (turns to comfort a crying Goku) A "fic" is not an edible thing. It's a short fictional story based on characters previously created by someone else. All fics are written by fans, or non-fans, of a certain subject.
Goku: (snoring) Zzzz… (wakes up suddenly) Wha… Oh. You're finished.
Hakkai: (Crosses his arms impatiently) Oh well, if you don't want to listen to me… I'm sure there are many readers out there who can't wait to hear what I've got to say or write, right? (looks eagerly to readers for support)
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The main gases in air are nitrogen and oxygen. Air also contains carbon dioxide and water vapour. The amount of water vapour in the air is variable. The air in hot equatorial countries contains much more water vapour than the air in cold countries further north. When buildings are air-conditioned, much of this water vapour is removed (which you can often see as water dripping from air-conditioners).
Air is a mixture. It can be liquefied and then separated by fractional distillation. This is done in the industry to produce oxygen, nitrogen…
(A book entitled "Chemistry Insights by J G R Briggs" goes flying out the room window)
Hakkai: Nani? There are children reading this as well. It should at least be educating… (tries to defend himself from the glares from Sanzo and Gojyo)
Goku: *snores*
Sanzo: Huh! Thank goodness that baka saru doesn't know how to type or the world would be plagued by stories on how fast he can eat, or the amount he can eat in any span of time… (seeing the looks from Hakkai and Gojyo) No! I've got better things to do than try my hand at some meaningless story for some stupid fans…
Wyn: (standing at the doorway of the room, arms crossed) Ahem… So, are you calling me a stupid fan? You're going to suffer real bad in my next fic then… (seeing the look of horror on the ikkou's face) *sighs* Alright, I can't be that evil… But anyway, why did my Chemistry textbook suddenly land on my pet dog? He's having a backache now…
(guilty looks all around… especially Hakkai)
Wyn: (shrugs nonchalantly) Never mind. At least, now can we get back to our interview?
Sanzo-ikkou: (all looking flustered and lost) Interview? What interview?!
Wyn: You know, the interview asking you guys what you think of the fic? (sees the confusion still etched on the ikkou's faces) I've decided that to be fair, at the end of all my fics, I'll have an interview asking you guys what you think of my writing and how you feel about being put in those positions in the fic.
Hakkai: Wow… So considerate… That's nice of you. (thinks for a while) Ano… Can I ask a question?
Wyn: Shoot… (remembers something) No wait! I meant go ahead and ask your question Hakkai…
(Sanzo grumbles as he puts away the pistol that he was about to fire)
Hakkai: (pointedly ignores Sanzo's continuous grumbling) Are you going to take our comments into consideration for your future fics then?
Wyn: Well… I guess so… (a mischievous grin appears on his face) However, for certain things… I might write on purpose just to make you suffer… (looks of terror on those around him)
Hakkai: I suppose that it's a better bargain than you not asking us how we feel at all…
(The ikkou shrug their shoulders and agree)
Wyn: In that case let's start our interview!
Gojyo: No wait! My clothes are torn and messy because of those fan girls… let me go and change…
Sanzo: My hair's all messed up by all that shooting…
Goku: Hara hetta…
Wyn: *sighs sadly* What are we going to do…?
Hakkai: I don't mind talking now…
Wyn: All right! (whoops in glee)
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[I hope you don't mind that my fic is rather long… I promise it'll end after my interview with Hakkai]
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End of epilogue (I don't know… do you call this an epilogue or the next one an epilogue?)
Note: I wrote these two epilogues together, so all my notes and postscripts are at the end of the next chapter. Please, all those who have read my entire fic, every single chapter, please… read the "Additional note" portion…
Oh yeah… everybody… please… R&R!!!