All conversation ceased immediately as Snape appeared in the
front room of the small house, now an abattoir. Their silence hung like
a heavy accusation, weaving its wicked denouncemnet
in and out amongst the gathered Death Eaters. Snape let his eyes become hooded
as his face closed in a guarded expression of self-assurance. He warded his
mind against any thoughts which could be read and construed as traitorous, but
his heart leapt up as he quickly realized that Voldemort
was not yet there.
A hooded figure stepped forward, Snape swallowed back the rising bile as the
other threw back her hood revealing the perfectly coiffed black mane and
exquisite sneering face, "You've returned." She paused and stared at the young
man in front of her, "And where, if you please, is it that you're returning
from?" Her hostile, searching eyes taking in Snape's
unrobed appearance, the bizarre half-transfigured shirt, willing the younger
man to strip himself of the careful veneer he was wearing.
"I will not answer to you, Bellatrix." Snape spit
this out with enough controlled volume for all present to hear him.
Lestrange's eyes widened and just as quickly narrowed
dangerously. With a sudden movement of cruel grace she slapped him, rocking his
head back and watched with satisfaction as his thin upper lip bloomed a dark drop of blood and began to swell.
Refusing to touch his bruising face in
front of her, Snape hissed "You dare to strike me?" flicking his wand down out
of his sleeve.
Faster than lightening Lestrange had the blunt tip of
her own wand pressed into Snape's belly, "I dare to
strike you, I would just as soon kill you. But you are
yet too valuable, I'm being told." Her eyes glinting like two daggers.
"Do not think for a moment that you can best me. It will be a most fatal
error. And one that I lie awake at night dreaming of."
With her wandless hand she
grabbed for Snape's testicles and brutally closed her
fingers around them. "You are half a man, Severus. No fire, a dead thing. You
disgust me. Book-learning and skulking through your laboratories." She shoved
him hard and Snape went sprawling backwards, twisting in his fall, landing hard
on one knee. "You have yet to prove yourself to me, and I daresay you will soon
enough become a tiresome indulgence to our Master as well."
Snape stood, his chest heaving, his mind swallowing these revelations, the
world narrowed to him and Lestrange. He had known
that she did not like nor trust him, but he hadn't known to what depths. How
many of the others shared her venomous hatred of him?
"What is the meaning of this?" the drawn-out sneering tone of Voldemort's voice froze everyone in the room. He stood in
the doorway, towering over all present, his face a closed aspect of fury. A
short figure shook beside him, his hood thrown back revealing the mottled pudgy
face of Peter Pettigrew.
Snape bowed his head at the Dark Lord, taking the proffered hand and as he bent
low to kiss the long, thin fingers, the hand was pulled out of his grasp. "You
are bleeding, Severus Snape." Voldemort's tone was
accusing and poisonous.
Snape rubbed at his lip. "My apologies, Master."
But he had already been dismissed, Voldemort turned
on Lestrange releasing a hiss of displeasure. "Crucio." She fell to the ground
at his feet and crumpled into her robe, her face hidden from them all. Voldemort crooked a finger at another figure who walked forward and hauled Lestrange
back to a standing position, her hair untidily hanging in her eyes now, spittle
flowing from her mouth. The Dark Lord reached out and grasped the woman's face,
pinching it between his impossibly long thumb and forefinger. "Do not ever touch him." He shook her face
in his hand, "Ever." With an inhuman strength he threw Lestrange away from him, she fell heavily against the wall,
unconscious.
Snape watched this peripherally, his mind was whirring trying to deduce a
reason for Pettigrew's presence there. He despised the mewling coward. A Marauder. His crooked, jowly face brought to many
unpleasant recollections to Snape's mind, memories of
a time and place he had actively worked to forget.
Voldemort strode purposely out of the room, leaving
Pettigrew to blanch, his tiny eyes darting like moths against a flame. Snape
watched the little man's eyes squeeze shut and his mouth parch open as a scream
rent the air of the house and climbed and climbed and climbed the scales of
human voice until it seemed to become a sound that only nature could make, and
yet Snape knew it was the witch.
A form in the hallway motioned to him and he followed it back to the room where
the witch now hung from the arms of a hooded Death Eater. He stood behind her,
his hands vised under her upper arms, her body
dangling, thighs splayed. Her eyes rolled in their sockets, more blood on the
floor than could be believed possible to have been let from a single human
form. Voldemort stood to one side, observing the
pregnant body with the steady eye of a hunter mesmerizing its prey.
"Severus, we are so close. So close, my loyal alchemist," the Dark Lord
whispered. "Is the potion ready for its final ingredient?" His hand reached out
and caressed the jerking roundness of the witch's abdomen. Another scream
climbed to the Heavens.
Snape trusted himself only to nod and was surprised to hear his voice, "Yes,
Master, it is ready."
"You will be rewarded. You will be remembered." Voldemort's
voice caressed him. He turned to the others in the room. "We shall wait until midnight to cut him out of her
body. Not one minute before not one minute after. Do
not disappoint me."
Snape closed his eyes, shaking his head as the path beckoned, the journey was
begun. There was a presence in the small, cramped room and it was reaching out
to him, entering him. It was the dying witch. He thought of the Icelandic
cliff, the Norn Grandmother. The presence began to
fill him and he saw this younger woman full of life immersed in a different
reality on that frozen plain. He had never known a pregnant woman but he could
see this one counting down her days to be delivered, aching with a mother's
love, willing to endure nature's opening of her body, stepping into the stream
of evolution, washing herself in the waters of all womankind, ablutions to the
Goddess.
And now she would not survive her child's murderous birth, would not see the
dawning of the new day, and he had been playing a vital role in the horror.
Yet, that seemed somehow pushed aside, emptied from his body and he felt the
presence of the woman inside of him. A threaded point of light pierced through
the membrane of his heart and anchored itself there.
"Tom Riddle."
A woman's steady voice.
Snape's brain seized at the sound of this
unmentionable name. His eyes snapped open. The room seemed to shimmer, magic
swirling around the hanging figure, eddies of it flowing from her body. She had
one swollen eye prised open, fixed upon Voldemort, her other eyelid twitched under a thickening of
dried blood, her lips were parted revealing teeth broken at the gumline, but from this mouth she had uttered the Dark
Lord's halfblood name.
Snape felt his life force spin out of him in a fine line of tension, spinning,
spinning away from him. His focus followed the skein of energy as it flowed
into the witch's orb. Something within him pulled the thread taut and it
vibrated between them, strumming the chambers of his heart.
Voldemort stood stiff, his mouth gaping. But before
he could move, before a breath was drawn by any of them, the mother brought her
broken hands up to hold her belly and with a whisper of love she spoke the
killing curse.
"Avada Kedavra."
"NO!" Voldemort's scream ripped through the
air, severing the tie between Snape and the witch. Snape fell backwards and
watched as Voldemort leapt at the witch and threw her
hands off her swollen form. With a crushing blow, he brought a hand across the
front of her face, still screaming, "No! No! No!" He pummeled her again. And again.
The Dark Lord vaulted over her falling body and onto the Death Eater, with
vicious blows and screeched curses he brutalized the man. The other two Death
Eaters scrambled away from his insane fury, tripping over their dying comrade,
slipping in the blood, tangling in robes, and then they were out the door. The
Dark Lord spun like a spider with one too many flies in its web, his long arms
reaching out and disappeared into the hallway.
Snape heard him screaming in the front room, the noise of the house a deafening
din of rage. Then words broke through, the Dark Lord's voice clear, "I want her
rent, limb from limb, send her hands to Bagnold! Send her head to Crouch! Wrap her heart in her
veil and deliver it to Dumbledore!"
Faster than he had ever known he could move, Snape was on his feet. He scooped
her up, her broken body heavy; he was out the door of the room, casting a quick
concealment charm upon them both. Then he was at the same warded door he had
stepped through just hours before.
And holding the dying witch in his arms, the life-force of her child gone from
her, he returned to Hornbjarg.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The
Grandmother was waiting for them. And she was not alone this time. A small
circle of women, their faces drawn and closed but their eyes wide and
vulnerable, stood resolutely by her side.
Snape trod helplessly forward, the witch in his arms, a gruesome pantomime of
stepping over the threshold to the bridal chamber. He felt, rather than heard,
the doorway between the worlds close and disappear. He let out a deep breath.
"Have you learned what was wanted of you, Child?" the Grandmother asked this of
him.
He shook his head, not trusting himself to respond. Had he found that answer?
He did not think so, just more questions, questions which seemed to be defined
by emotions rather than rational intellect. He was crippled by such puzzles.
"I see," the Grandmother said softly, looking into his dark eyes. He closed
them. She stepped forward and Snape, sensing her movement towards him, opened
his eyes and watched as she lay a hand on the dying woman's bruised brow.
His gaze was intent on the Grandmother's face, but he turned his own away as
the older woman began to weep, tears falling silently, heavy but fragile drops
from her rheumy eyes. She motioned for the other women to approach and they
closed the circle with Snape and his precious armful. Each one reached out and
touched the woman he held. Whispers rose and spiraled around them all.
"Goodbye, sister."
"It is time to go."
"I love you."
"I will look for you."
"You are safe."
"I will dream of you."
"You will be remembered."
"I will never forget you."
"Farval, Gerda."
The Grandmother's voice, strong yet still a whisper, soaked by the salt of her
tears, intoned, "Let go. Let go. Let go. Lycka och framgång,
Daughter." And Snape felt his own face wash with tears. He looked down
at the witch in his arms, he felt her shudder, her body convulsed and he
strengthened himself under the movements of her leaving.
She hung limply in his embrace. She was gone.
The Earth continued Her celestial revolutions, the
Moon dancing around Her, attracting the attention of the Sun. The waves rose
and crashed upon all the shores of all the lands. Babies were made and born and
human beings lived and died. Trees were felled and became shelters. Plants
sprouted from the dirt and became sustenance. Animals lay down and emptied
their lungs and returned to that from which they were created. Gods and
Goddesses laughed and wept, questions were asked and answers revealed. Day
became Twilight and became Night and Night became Dawn and became Day.
Snape was warded and protected from those who would do him tortuous injury and
he slept the sleep of the dreaming. And all the dreams which he was gifted with in
that sleeping became the talismans that would guide his life. When he awoke, he
assumed the posture of the prayerful and held it.
Time was no longer measured in minutes and hours, but rather by the revolutions
of his blood, the circulation of his lymph. His heart was mired in a whirlpool
of shame and he could not take a breath without a sinking feeling within his
breast. He was responsible, he was guilty. He had committed grievous harm to
others and ultimately to himself. And as he began to navigate the shifting
currents and dangerous undertows, Gerda Solveig and her unborn child rose above the dark waters and
became his redeemers.
The witches of the Norn Coven wove their sister's
hair into a shirt, and Snape donned it without question.
He was sitting on the cliff's edge again. He truly had no idea what day it was
or how long he had been on Hornbjarg. He found himself
wishing his long-abandoned childhood wish for wings. He heard the sound of
people approaching and still he stared out across the sea, letting the
possibilities of the wish tantalize him.
"Severus," a soft voice he knew but couldn't place. Slowly he turned and looked
up into the face of Albus Dumbledore. The Grandmother
was standing beside him.
Snape stood and with hands clasped
uncharacteristically in front of him, he bowed his head. "Sir," he said
quietly.
The Headmaster reached out a tentative hand and gently grasped the young man's
shoulder. "You have embarked upon a journey that has called for great bravery
and, I fear, will continue to test your courage. The path is still long and
shadowed in places, but yours no longer needs be a solitary trek, my son." The
ancient wizard let a smile pull at the corners of his lips, his eyes twinkled
with pride, "I've come to bring you home."
Snape's head snapped up, his face flushed with fear. "Home? I do not understand."
Albus smiled sadly at him, "I know that in this moment you are feeling confused. That is, of course, in these extraordinary circumstances, to be expected. There is much for you and I to discuss with one another." He looked piercingly at him, "I will begin by telling you that the Dark Lord was defeated three nights ago." Snape's face twitched, a grimace folding across his mouth. "A child, just barely a year old, has succeeded in destroying Voldemort." Again, Snape's facial muscles spasmed and the grimace buried itself below his nose. "This child, this incredible boy child, was empowered by the great love of his mother. And that mother, Severus, unbeknownst to her was empowered by the great love of the Norn witch, Gerda Solveig, and the sacrifice you helped her make."
Snape let the words play inside the velvet whorls of his ears. He wrote them on the inside of his skull and stared at them with his mind's eye. He tasted them upon his own tongue and felt them inside his mouth, behind his clenched teeth. He let them out, "Voldemort destroyed. Child empowered by a mother's love. Empowered by the sacrifice a Norn witch made." Still he did not understand them.
The grandmother stepped close to Snape and lifted one of his hands with her palsied fingers. She
clasped it between both her palms. "Gerda and her sacrifice of self and babe became a pathway
for Light because of your deference to honour. You
were wanted and you entrusted yourself."
Snape's eyelids trembled
shut. For a few, brief moments he set down the terrible weight of his Self and
his soul soared free.
