Unrealistic hyper out-of-control day of mayhem
I don't own squat.
* * *
Starfire: What is this feeling, Robin? I…I…It is an uncontrollable emotion that
seems to be driving me insane with the yearning for something I could do to
help myself…
Robin: It's called boredom.
Starfire: …Oh.
BeastBoy: (jumps up and down in rage) WHY ISN'T THERE MORE FREAKIN CRIMINALS IN
THIS FREAKIN TOWN?! THERE SHOULD FREAKIN BE AT LEAST ONE FREAKIN MORON WHOS
BUTT WE CAN FREAKIN KICK!!!
Raven: (calmly) …that's five…
BeastBoy: Five what???
Raven: I hope that you realize you've just used the word "freakin" five times
in the same sentence.
BeastBoy: I…I…STOP YELLING AT ME! (plops onto couch grumpily) Hey…I have an
idea… Why don't you and Star wrestle and Cy, Robin and me can bet on who wins
as we watch you roll on the floor? (grins evilly)
Raven: You're an idiot.
Cyborg: Aww, Raven, I think you're blu-ushing! Look, your cheeks are all red
and hot! It looks like you're on fire!
Raven: Boys have an inconceivable amount of hormones. You are all blind. I am
not blushing. I am not embarrassed. My face is not on fire.
(Couch catches fire)
Raven: (looks around) WHAT?!
(Couch stops flaming for no apparent reason because I'm the writer and I said
so)
Starfire: …Well, Anyway, I have been meaning to ask you all a question that has
been in my mind for some time now. Would you be so kind as to help me?
Robin: Okay. Anything can be better than sitting around like this.
Starfire: Well, I had wondered upon a device in the living room a few
Feerlomies (days) ago, and it was the most wonderful thing! I turned it on, and
sound began to flood out of the headband on top of it. I placed it on my head,
and it told me that it was going to "Stick his key in my ignition". It went on
to state that I was his "Bi-atch" and to "Back it up and let him…"
Robin: OKAY! (face turns red) (sweatdrop) umm…Cyborg, I think it's time that
you tell Starfire about the bird and the bees.
Starfire: I love birds!
Cy: ME??? YOU'RE the one who said you'd answer her question! Just go back and
take her into another room so we don't all have to suffer!
Starfire: And I like bees, too, except for when they sting you…
Robin: GEE, I would, expect that I am a teenaged boy and she is a half-naked
girl who has no idea what I would be doing if I…JUST TELL HER!!!!!!
Cy: NO WAY!!!
Raven: Shut up.
Robin: DO IT!!! YOU'RE HALF ROBOT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
Cy: I HAVE NEEDS!!!
Raven: SHUT UP.
BeastBoy: STOP FREAKIN YELLING!!!!!!
Robin: THEN YOU TELL HER!
BeastBoy: I should have closed my mouth.
Raven: SHUT UP!!!!!
(Every object in the house breaks in half with a sickening crash)
Everyone: … O.o
Raven: I think I know someone who can help us. I have a very distant human
cousin somewhere in Futile Japan. Her friend will tell Starfire all she wants
to know.
Robin: (sighs) What a relief. But how are we going to go back hundreds of years
in time and travel thousands of miles to get to Futile Japan?
*In Futile Japan*
Robin: Wow, that was quick. But how are we going to find them?
*Kagome, Inuyasha, and Miroku appear in front of them*
Robin: Hmm. Convenient.
Kagome: (spots Raven) Raven! I've been waiting to hear from you! I've missed
you SO much! (hugs her forcefully)
Raven: (scowls behind her back) Yes, I feel the same. (grimace)
Inuyasha: (Growls) Who are these idiots, Kagome?
BeastBoy: Hey! (turns into an enormous Dinosaur) Who are you calling idiots?
Inuyasha:…ehe… (runs off)
Cyborg: Don't worry. BB's never killed anything before.
Kagome: (turns toward him, eyes suddenly shining) …Wow…I mean, that's a relief.
(continues to stare until he gets uncomfortable and backs away from her)
Raven: (dully points to Miroku) That's Miroku. He'll help Starfire with
her…problem.
Miroku: (grins pervertedly upon seeing Starfire in her slightly skimpy outfit)
Robin: Uh…Anyway, My…friend here was hoping you could tell her a little
about…um…
Miroku: GLADLY! (yanks her arm and disappears into a nearby hut)
Kagome: (continues to stare at Cyborg) … Hi.
Cyborg: …I think I'll go find your friend. (also disappears leaving a small
cloud of dust)
Raven: You like him.
Kagome: NEVER!! What gave you that idea?
Raven: Well, the little hearts above your head are a bit of a dead giveaway.
Kagome: (swats at hearts) stupid hearts…
Hearts: Don't blame us! The artist just put us here to show your feeling of
love.
Robin: Well, I wonder how They're doing in the hut…
Starfire: (from inside hut) GLASHMOI!!!! (pervert in her language) (blinding
green light fills hut followed by a loud thump)
Robin: Oh…You weren't to attached to your friend, were you?
Kagome: (smiles) not at all!
Robin: Good.
Starfire: (bursts out of hut)
I'mreadytogohomewhatdoyoumeannothingiswrongIwishtogogoodbyenicetomeetyouhopetoseeyouagainalrightletsgonow.
A/N: AAAGGGHHH!!! LARGE INCOHERENT WORD!!! By the way, the "device" Starfire
was listening to was a portable CD player (for all the stupid people who
couldn't figure it out).
