(a dialouge in several comedies)
(subtitled: why taking Sirius on a trip with nine other people, four of them teenagers and one of them six years old, is a really, really bad idea)
Disclaimer: I own Nicole, Madeline Potter, Alstair, and Canaan, though I don't know why anyone would want to own that brat besides his mother and father. I also own any OCs you meet along the way. Inspired by 'The Weasley's Road Trip' by Thaila Poet, which is great. Go read it. As usual, JK owns all else.
Notebook: As with Girl Scouts, I will not post chapter 3 until there are ten reviews, which is about fair. I have made references to various other fics, such as Girl Scouts, Muggle Radio, and The Gryffindor Oracle. Enjoy!
(Scene: Everyone is loaded into the van: Sirius, James, Lily in the back seat, Remus, the radio, and Nicole in the next seat, then Mr. and Mrs. Potter and Canaan, Alstair and Maddy in the front.)
"I'm bored."
"Sirius, I haven't even started the car yet."
"Are you going to be like this the whole way?"
"Don't complain Moony, at least you're not sitting by him."
"UNCLE JAMES!"
"Yes, Canaan?"
"Play with me!"
"Get Uncle Sirius to play with you!"
"Hey, I'm not his uncle!"
"Sure you are, Padfoot."
"PLAY WITH ME!"
"Maddy, how do you turn this thing off?"
"Leave your uncles alone, Canaan!"
"Yeah, go bug Uncle Remus!"
"Hey!"
"I want them to PLAY WITH ME!"
""Aww. Come sit by me, Canaan, I'll play with you."
"Oh sure, Lily, make us look bad."
"I come by it naturally."
"It's so easy to do."
"Oh, shut up, Maddy. You're supposed to love us."
"Um, no. I have to love James, the rest of you I could care less about."
"MOMMY!"
"Yes, Canaan?"
"I havea go pee!"
"Alstair, back the car up, quick!"
"Calm down, Mrs. Potter!"
"You're the grandmother, Mum. You spoil him. What were you doing in Grandmum's bathroom, Canaan?"
"I HAVEA GO PEE!"
"Somebody shut it off!"
"Lily, we are never having one of these things."
"What makes you think I want to reproduce with you anyway?"
"Ooh, harsh there Lily."
"My good looks, of course. You know you want me."
"Don't make me laugh."
"What?!"
"Er, James, that's one battle you can never win."
"Shut up, Moony, your girlfriend isn't even here."
"What about me?"
"Sirius, you never keep a girlfriend more than a week. You don't count."
"Hey, I went out with Sarah for a week and three days."
"That's not a girlfriend. That's a fling-of-the-week."
"Oh."
"What are you boys talking about back there?"
"I HAVEA GO PEE!"
"Nothing, Mrs. P!"
"Come on, Canaan!"
(Maddy takes Canaan back in the house, offset)"Take him, Maddy!"
"Turn the radio up!"
"Don't!"
"Sorry Mr. P, I can't hear you because the radio is too loud!"
"I'm beginning to see some frightening similarities between Nicole and Sirius."
"Uh, no. I'm not Goth."
"And you're not a girl!"
"And you're not best friends with James!"
"And I'm not annoying."
"And I don't have a gossipy mum!"
"And I don't live with my best friend!"
"And I...I'm not wearing a black shirt!"
"Yes you are, Padfoot."
"Oh. Well, I don't have black hair!"
"Um, yes you do, Padfoot--"
"--with purple streaks!"
"I don't have a dumb nickname!"
"Hey! Well, at least I don't have black fingernails!"
"And I don't--"
"You two shut up!"
"Wow, they really do have a lot in common!"
(both)"Aaargh!"
"We can't take Sirius anywhere."
"Even on vacation, he finds a fling of the week."
"I resent that! I would never go out with this annoying loser."
"Hey! Like I would go out with a purple-haired freak?"
"Um, Maddy, wasn't this how James and Lily started out?"
(both)"Aargh!"
"You know Moony, you and Snape would make an awesome couple."
"Okay Sirius, you are going down!"
"Aah!"
"Boys, Boys! Not now!"
"PLAY WITH ME!"
"Oh god, he's back!"
"Not again!"
"Are we even out of the driveway yet?"
"We're almost to the end of the street!"
"How do you know, Lily, you're in the back!"
"I can see Nicole's house."
"Ugh. Hide me from Mum. Please."
"What, you don't like your own mum?"
"She doesn't like me."
"I can't imagine why."
"Sirius, be nice."
"Aww, Lily!"
"No, I don't care. I don't dress like this so people will like me."
"Quite the opposite, in fact."
"Sirius. Don't make me bring up Fiona Landon."
"Lily, you wouldn't!"
"Who's Fiona Landon?"
"A girl from school. Sirius got caught--"
"LILY DON'T YOU DARE!"
"Are you threatening my girlfriend?"
"QUIET DOWN BACK THERE!"
"Sorry Mr. P! Geez James, tell her to quit bringing up Fiona Landon!"
"You think she listens to me?"
"Hmm. Good point."
"Padfoot, you know nothing about women."
"Hey! Remember the girl scouting method in fifth year?"
"My point exactly."
"Shut up, Moony."
(Lily and Nicole:) "Girl scouting method?"
"You don't want to know. You really don't want to know."
"No, James Potter, I think I do. Did this have anything to do with me?"
"Um...no?"
"We are finally out of the subdivision!"
"Yay! Woot Alstair!"
" 'Woot'?"
"It's a word. Like 'yay' or something."
"Woot?"
"Woot."
"Woot!"
"Like that!"
"I love this song!"
"Hey Padfoot, you don't have to climb over me to get to it!"
"Do you boys have your seatbelts buckled?"
"What are seatbelts?"
"Aargh!"
"Blarg."
"Blarg?"
"It's my word. What is this song?"
"Somebody fine me somebody to love.."
"Hey, it's Queen! I have this album!"
"Who?"
"The band is called Queen."
"I worked hard (he works hard!) every day of my life, I work and I ate my bones!"
"At the end! At the end of the day I take home--"
"Sirius, SHUT UP!"
"Geez! You people don't appreciate real music!"
"You mean real noise?"
"coughPadfootcan'tsingcough,"
"Hey Moony, you need a coughdrop?"
"SOMEBODY PLAY WITH ME!"
"Not this again!"
"Maddy, turn it off!"
"Remember this when you have kids, James and Lily!"
"Maddy, where did you go wrong?"
"SOMEBODY PLAY WITH ME!"
"That's assuming a lot, Maddy."
"That's assuming James lives that long!"
"Is that a threat, Mum?"
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
"Somebody find me somebody to love, somebody, somebody! somebody, somebody! somebody find somebody find me somebody to love! Can anybody find me..."
"Some-body to-oo loo-oo-ove!"
"Sirius! The bad diva in disguise!"
"Agh, that was just bad!"
"SOMEBODY PLAY WITH ME!"
"Hey kiddo, I'll play with you if you find me (singing) somebody to-oo lo-oo-ove!"
"MUMMY! Uncle Seris is scaring me!"
"That is the story of your life, Padfoot."
"What?"
"Exactly."
"I don't understand."
"Which is exactly why it makes so much sense."
"James, are Remus and Lily making fun of me?"
"Nobody could make fun of you, Sirius. You're too...Sirius."
"James! Baaad!"
"Ow! I didn't deserve to be hit in the head for it!"
"Say who?"
"Me!"
"When did you count?"
"Are we there yet?"
"SOMEBODY PLAY WITH ME!"
"Oh god..."
"Yes?"
"Just--shut up."
Notebook: Next chapter is called: Chapter Three: We'll Leave the Light on For You...Adventures at Motel Eight. Subtitled: that madness that ensues when you just dumped everyone into hotel rooms and throw a Goth girl into a swimming pool. Point on this chapter:
•I don't know if they had Goths in the seventies, but it's too late to change it now. Just...pretend. Call it slightly AU.
•For Jade: I revised this for you. I didn't have MS word on the computer where I typed this, sorry about the typos. Canaan calls Sirius 'Seris' for future notes, though.
•I might re-write this in script format; it'd be really easy to do. Vote on it, see what you think.
•Moony & Nicole say more than you think they say: a lot of the unidentified lines are actually there's. Have fun and review! Love, Abigail