Angels on some clouds
Cormorans dancing in the silvery light
of a dark nights moon
Angels hidden behind a glassy surface,
mirrors hiding truths, that might be lies,
Let me take, what you once gave,
let me hold, what you wanted to share …
Fairy-tales might come alive
even for little childs
Lotte, sitting in her attic,
beaming, with a box of chocolate in her hand,
dreaming of an angel to come
I wish, there´d be more than just broken dreams
Something beyond all I´d not see
And yet … what is it all for,
What´s the meaning of a thing, we once
called life?
We´re back at the lake, once again … and not that far away from where we began our flight. I´m not able to see any signal of something alive at the place where I guess the house. No sound to hear … only silence and the faint sound of the lakes tide, coming and going …
Where is he, what´d happened to him? Somehow, I began to panic, although I´m not able to say why. As long as he is here, I´m not able to find out any thing about him … maybe I´m too late … and it´s all over.
I sit down on a stone near the shore and try to find something, but there´s nothing … to see … to hear … I turn around, looking into his eyes, searching for an answer that´s not to find.
Give it up, he´s dead, it´s over and the nightmare gone … But it´s not over, it will never be … not as long as I´d live. He´ll stay there, in my head, singing songs … of unsaid longings, passion, solitude … light and darkness …
He´d never leave … never until the day I´d draw my final breath …
I look into the lake, thinking about what to do, how to get rid of him, how to make a move he´d not be able to notice – to go back to the lair, to look for what´d not be there any longer … Just to be certain, only to be sure …
My feet touch the tide of the lake, as cold as ice, my thoughts are somewhere lost. Even the stone on which I´d sat down not so long ago is cold. The cold is creeping up my spine, wandering through my skirts and makes me begin to shiver. I´ve to do something, to move somewhere … but I´m anything than able to do. My movements freeze in midair, when there´s something in the lake which made me attentive to it. Something is lying in the lake, some kind of shadow or alike.
Slowly I rise, ignoring any of his weak protests and stagger hesitantly to the spot. My thoughts make some turnarounds, my skin shivers once more. Once, not so long ago, there´d been a candle at this place, throwing its soft light of the caverns ceiling. Someone had been here, right where I´m standing. Whoever it might have been … there´d only be one … only one … but how and … why …?
Once more, I begin to panic, almost begin to run straight into the lake. He … would … not … …
From somewhere near I can hear a faint sound, a sound that remembers me of a weak sigh … as soft as velvet … and yet so full with pain … He´d not … no … gods … please … for all of the love you´ve …
I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. Against all odds, against my conscience, I run into the lake, blindly and without any other thoughts. I feel the coldness cut right through my skin, I feel my limbs grow weak. But I´m still running …
Somewhere I stop, my feet touching something that´d not be there. I bend to it, far away from anything that´d be called appropriate in the eyes of society. I stretch out my hand and let it touch this something, shaking with terror and a dark foreordaining in my mind. The fabric I´m touching feels familiar to me, there´s no more doubt. It could be a treacherous trick, played by my mind, however … something that´s not true … that´s not real …
The trembling finger wanders further, finding more things that are familiar. There´d be no doubt, not any longer, the evidence is here, right in front of me …
… I´m too late … too late for any regret, any forgiveness …
… there´s nothing more I can change …
… nothing more I could tell …
… lost between the edges …