AN: Words in italics are from Les Mis. As always, a review is a gift I love to receive J
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I Dreamed A Dream
You told me that you wouldn't leave me. You
told me that everything would work out. That was a lie, wasn't it? You were
never terribly good at lying. But I wanted to believe you. God, I wanted to
believe so bad that it hurt.
It still hurts. I don't think that it's ever going to stop hurting.
It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not with you cold. In a stupid hole in the
ground. At least you have that little plot of ground. Remember the others that
just vanished? I know you remember. We cried together. That night... you
remember... the one where twenty went out. Hannah Abbot came back, dirty and
frantic. At least she came back.
But you weren't supposed to leave me. You were the better one at this. You were
better! You were always better. I can't measure up, but now you've left me to
try! I can't do it! I can't!
I'm sorry... I shouldn't yell. Sometimes I just can't help it. It just comes
out. Forgive me. I know you would - you always did. This just isn't right, you
know? It's a bloody travesty is what it is.
Do you like that? You always liked it when I used big words. You said it made
me sound smart. I tried to sound smart. You said it was 'becoming'.
I remember the robes you were buried in. White. Pure white. Like and angel. Do
I believe in angels? Yeah... I guess I do.
I feel like it's been so long. Sometimes... sometimes I forget what your face
looked like. When you smiled. When you ran your hands through your hair. When
you laughed. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that. Maybe it's because no
body laughed for so long. I remember I was walking down Diagon Alley afterwards
and I heard a little old witch just laughing... laughing so hard I thought that
she was going to fall over. It was so strange to hear that.
You had the most addictive laugh.
I know I shouldn't blame myself. It wasn't my fault. There wasn't anything I
could do. I wasn't even in the same country. But how could you leave without
saying goodbye? How could you leave me, Hermione? I know I still have Harry...
but really, he doesn't take kindly to me trying to cuddle late at night.
That laugh felt really good. I know you're laughing right now and scolding
'Ronald Weasley, you shouldn't say such things!'
I miss your scolding.
I'm scared, Mione. I'm scared everything will come back. Sometimes, late at
night, I just stare up into the ceiling and wonder 'What if Harry didn't finish
it all'? Did we really finish it all? I just don't know. I know I shouldn't
worry about such things... but I do. I worry that you died in vein to save us
from something that we can't be saved from.
I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living…
You weren't supposed to die. You were supposed to live. We were supposed to
live. Together. We were supposed to have together.
So different now from what it seemed…
I have to wake up soon, Mione. Harry is working on a campaign to rebuild
Hogwarts and I told him that I would help him in the morning. I don't want to
wake up, but I have to. But I'll dream of you tomorrow night. And we'll talk
again.
I love you.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed…
