Marissa Coulter
Marissa Coulter fell in silence. Below her Metatron screamed curses in a thousand languages, and beside her Lord Asriel had twined his fingers through hers. Neither had anything to say. They knew this had been coming.
Curled in her hair, her golden monkey daemon breathed long, deliberate breaths. She was calm, and therefore so was he. Nothing really mattered now. She had done her job. Lyra was safe. Lyra would go on and grow up, becoming brilliant and beautiful like her mother. But never as cold and cruel, and for this Marissa silently thanked Fate.
And still she could not help but feel wretched. Of course, she thought silently, she was going to be falling through an abyss for all eternity. That could make someone feel rather depressed. But it wasn't that. Her unwillingly sadness was wrenched from her heart due to all the times she had failed her daughter. Memories flew before her mind's eye and silent tears burned their way down her face, falling away into oblivion.
But she had tried, God she had tried. After years of ignoring the girl she had tried to make it better, tried to make it up. She'd always known it was too late. That she'd grown up too slowly. But she'd been desperate, drugging Lyra, kidnapping Lyra, anything to keep her child with her for just a few minutes more. All the while knowing she'd be found out and the girl taken away. Taken away before Marissa could tell her she loved her. For all the horrible things she'd done, she really did love Lyra.
And lord, how she was sorry. Sorry for all the people she'd killed, sorry for all the cruel words she'd said, and sorry for the kind ones she hadn't. Sorry for all things she'd never done and all times she'd done too much. Disgusted by how wrong and twisted her soul was, and how even Metatron, the all-powerful archangel who could see all, hadn't been able to see any spark of goodness in her. If only she'd had one more chance to show Lyra how much she loved her, she swore she'd do it right.
But all she had now was Asriel and she still loved him as well. So as they fell, she turned to him and hugged him just to show him she did, silent tears burning their way down her face, and falling away into oblivion.
Marissa Coulter fell in silence. Below her Metatron screamed curses in a thousand languages, and beside her Lord Asriel had twined his fingers through hers. Neither had anything to say. They knew this had been coming.
Curled in her hair, her golden monkey daemon breathed long, deliberate breaths. She was calm, and therefore so was he. Nothing really mattered now. She had done her job. Lyra was safe. Lyra would go on and grow up, becoming brilliant and beautiful like her mother. But never as cold and cruel, and for this Marissa silently thanked Fate.
And still she could not help but feel wretched. Of course, she thought silently, she was going to be falling through an abyss for all eternity. That could make someone feel rather depressed. But it wasn't that. Her unwillingly sadness was wrenched from her heart due to all the times she had failed her daughter. Memories flew before her mind's eye and silent tears burned their way down her face, falling away into oblivion.
But she had tried, God she had tried. After years of ignoring the girl she had tried to make it better, tried to make it up. She'd always known it was too late. That she'd grown up too slowly. But she'd been desperate, drugging Lyra, kidnapping Lyra, anything to keep her child with her for just a few minutes more. All the while knowing she'd be found out and the girl taken away. Taken away before Marissa could tell her she loved her. For all the horrible things she'd done, she really did love Lyra.
And lord, how she was sorry. Sorry for all the people she'd killed, sorry for all the cruel words she'd said, and sorry for the kind ones she hadn't. Sorry for all things she'd never done and all times she'd done too much. Disgusted by how wrong and twisted her soul was, and how even Metatron, the all-powerful archangel who could see all, hadn't been able to see any spark of goodness in her. If only she'd had one more chance to show Lyra how much she loved her, she swore she'd do it right.
But all she had now was Asriel and she still loved him as well. So as they fell, she turned to him and hugged him just to show him she did, silent tears burning their way down her face, and falling away into oblivion.