Author's note: I do not own X-men or The Bachelor and this is a spoofing parody. If you like it, let me know. If you hate it, let me know! But don't call me names or tell me to kill myself because that tells me what an immature reader you are. As always. Critique wisely no matter whom you are reading because they can critique back!

It's Monday 9/8c. And here you are - stuck in front of the TV watching one of those reality-dating shows because you know it - you're addicted.

So you relax, kick back with some popcorn and soda and turn on your favorite station ready to watch your show.

Click

Volume: |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 23

There's the end of one of those Geico commercials and then the show starts.

~Meet Scott Summers~

Again the voice seems to be that of Alex Summers that famous host. This could be exciting! After all X-factor is full of dangerous stunts and such!

On the screen, the scene from the commercial, Scott standing on a cliff overlooking a valley shows. The wind ruffles his hair before the scene changes showing Scott swimming in a pool. Quick strokes of his very muscular arms pull him through the water until he reaches one end, flips and swims to the other end. As he does this, the host speaks.

~Scott Summers is a junior high school teacher from Alaska. He also trains team leaders, those lead dogs in the sled races. He's twenty-six years old and looking for love. ~

They show him throwing a Frisbee somewhere in what appears to be the snowy Alaskan wilderness. Five dogs race after to catch the Frisbee.

The next time Scott is seen, it's a close-up where his face can be seen. He's sitting in a fancy living room on a white leather couch that looks plush and comfortable. He's wearing his blue pullover again. "It's hard for me to meet women where I live," Scott says with a boyish grin. "Any woman who becomes involved with me has to know something very important about me." He proceeds to explain his mutation, taking off his glasses to demonstrate his power. When he opens his eyes, a beam of red light shoots out and hits an empty soda can set up for that purpose. It explodes as Scott closes his eyes and puts his glasses back on. "See? I have to wear these glasses all the time. She'd have to accept that. She'd have to understand me. all of me."

It flashes over to Scott sitting by a pool; water glistens on his muscular torso as if he'd just finished a long swim. His hair is slicked back and he's still wearing his ruby glasses.

"The girl I want to marry has to be demure," Scott states. "I want her to be a little out going, sweet, pretty and intelligent. She can't be afraid of challenges because I thrive on those." He gives another sexy grin.

Once again the scene changes and this time the camera pans over a large sprawling mansion hidden in a forest hideaway. A large black gate, with extensively manicured gardens, surrounds it. Outside the gate, a sign proclaims the estate to be "Xavier's Institute".

There are three limos driving up the road to the mansion on Graymalkin Lane. They pass beneath the arched trees that cover and shelter the road.

~ What Scott doesn't know is that we have fifteen ladies, each of them willing to understand his mutation. /there's a long pause/ . because they themselves have a mutation of their own. ~ (Announcer)

The limousines arrive at the mansion and the door to the first limo opens. A girl with long dark hair in braids steps out. The camera is going in slow motion, capturing every moment as she gets her first look around at the estate they will be staying at. A smile flits across her features as she looks up at the large institute.

Suddenly she is seen sitting by the pool - another flash forward - so that she can be introduced. She smiles, talking animatedly into the camera. "My name is Jubilation Lee," she introduces herself. Below her face her name and her age "21", pop up onto the screen. "I'm from Los Angeles, California where I'm currently a free lance photographer."

Back to where she enters the mansion carrying two bags, looking around at the vast beauty of the building. It shows her walking up the stairs, carrying her bags to the rooms available and selecting one.

~When I saw the house, I was really excited. I thought, I can't wait to meet the man of my dreams.. Hopefully ~ (Jubilee)

A second person emerges from the first limo. It is a very tall, leggy blond wearing a white bustier top that looks like it's from Gadzooks. She has thigh high white boots on and a white leather trench coat. She is not smiling at all. She looks at the mansion, looking unimpressed with its stature.

She too sits next to the pool, the camera drawing back. It's taking every opportunity to show off her long legs, before moving in to capture her face on the screen.

"My name is Emma Frost," she says staring intently into the camera, her cold blue eyes giving away no trace of warmth. On the screen her name and age "26" appear. "I'm from all over New England, but I'm currently living in Manhattan. I'm the owner of the infamous and popular Hellfire Club, New York's preferred night spot." She leans back, a smile gracing her face as she boasts that little point.

Back to Emma, she's seen walking into the mansion. She walks up the stairs and announces, "I'm getting the master bedroom. No one else take it." And she does too, dumping quite a load of luggage there. She starts to unpack.

~ I'm here to see if there is anything between this man they've brought here for all of us, and myself. I don't know what he's like, but I'm sure I will know after meeting him if I will be compatible with him. ~ (Emma)

The third girl to step out of the first limo has short purple hair, spiked up halfway. She has a great big smile on her face and seems to be interested in someone else inside the limo, reaching in to tug him or her out.

Sitting by the pool, the girl introduces herself, "My name is Risty Darkholme." Her bracelets on her arm jangle as she reaches up to tuck a piece of errant hair behind her ear. Below her, her name and age "23" appear. "I'm an Executive Administrator at Maximoff Industries." She giggles, "I'm from Manchester, England which makes it funny to be here in Manchester, New York." Again a giggle which is rather annoying sounding.

Once again, another girl is looking for a room as Risty searches the mansion. She finds a room and dumps her stuff before plopping onto the bed to test the mattress.

~ I don't really know what to expect from this. I'm hoping to meet a man who can see me for what I am. ~ (Risty)

Risty pulls out the next girl as it's finally seen whom she was tugging on. The woman who steps out of the limousine has shoulder length auburn hair with two skunk white streaks at the front. She's wearing all black including a black leather trench coat. Her lipstick is a dark purple color. She glances up at the mansion apprehensively.

She too sits at the pool to be introduced. She has a soft smile, but it's so rare that it disappears the moment she speaks. "Mah name is Rogue." There is no second-guessing that she has a thick southern accent. "Ah'm from Caldecott County, Mississippi. Ah'm a wildlife conservationist." She cracks a hint of a smile as she says, "But Ah'm more of a 'gator hunter than a croc' hunter." Her smile leaves her lips as she finishes her joke. Below her face her name and age (24) appear.

Rogue walks into the mansion behind a very happy Risty. She selects her room next door to Risty's even though the British girl can be heard stating, "Rogue why aren't you staying with me luv?" ~ Ah don't normally like situations where Ah live near other people. But it gets lonely out there in the swamps and Ah'd like to find someone who can take a challenge as much as Ah can. Ah just hope he'll understand about mah powers. ~ (Rogue)

The last woman out of the first limousine closes the white door behind her. She is tall, but what is striking about her is the color of her lime-green toned hair. She also has light green eyes. She gives the mansion a knowing look and then moves around the limo out of sight to retrieve her luggage from the back.

Sitting at the pool, the woman smiles at the camera. "My name is Lorna Dane." She introduces. One hand creeps up to twirl the curly long locks of her hair. "I'm a Geophysicist and I live in Washington, D.C." Her voice is cultured and warm. Below on the screen her name and age (28) appeared.

Back to Lorna the camera goes, as she walks up the stairs into the mansion. "Risty do you mind if I room with you?" she questions. They agree and Lorna settles in with Risty who gives up rooming with Rogue temporarily.

~ I'm excited about being here to meet this man they've brought us here for. I'm also excited about the prospect of meeting our host, who I hear is rumored to be Alex Summers from one of my favorite shows - X-factor. ~ (Lorna)

The second limousine pulls up to the door as the first one leaves. The occupants inside are ready to leave as one young lady, a brunette with her hair in a ponytail, walks right through the door without it opening. She dusts her sleeves off and then looks around with a smile.

"Oh my god, I'm like so excited about being here," the girl says, "My name is Katherine Pryde but all my friends call me Kitty." She's not even looking at the camera, but apparently whoever is operating the camera. She's grinning at them. From her information it's obvious she's (22). "I'm from Deerfield, Illinois and I'm currently in my last year of school, working towards my computer science degree."

Back to Kitty as she pulls her luggage out and enters the house. She walks through the walls, the camera capturing every shot as she finds an empty room and becomes tangible, dumping her luggage on the bed.

~ I'm really looking forward to meeting the bachelor. I feel like, very well about this and intend to put forth my best effort so that he will like, know, that I'm just right for him. ~ (Kitty)

When the door finally opens to the limo, another brunette steps out, this girl stepping hesitantly to the back. She has shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes. She walks into the mansion without glancing at the camera as many others had done.

Sitting at the pool the girl gives what could only be defined as a nervous smile. "Hello," her accent is southern but not nearly as much as the former southern occupant. "My name is Katrina Rosella," Katrina's name is below her along with her age (26). "I'm a nurse from Greenville, North Carolina." She looks off to the side and asks, "Should I tell that my power is healing?"

Back to an image of Katrina who walks her luggage up the stairs. She ends up in a room with Kitty, the two smiling at each other, already becoming friends it seems.

~ I'm a little nervous about meeting this man. I never have much luck with men but I'm keeping an open mind about everything. ~ (Katrina)

The next person out of the limousine was already laughing as she got out. Her face turned to view the mansion and she called out, "Amara you have to see this!" She reaches into the open door to grab on to the girl inside.

Sitting by the pool, the blond gave a bright smile at the camera. "My name is Tabitha Smith," she introduces, "I'm from Roanoke, Virginia. I'm currently working with a top secret government agency as a special agent." She started to laugh and then said, "No! Really I'm a stand up comedian." She looks back at the camera and says, "I travel from night club to night club, performing my acts." Her name and age (22) appeared.

Tabitha enters the front doors of the mansion, pushing the double doors open. She walks inside carrying three duffel bags, which get dropped to the floor. "Wow!" She looks around, ignoring where she left her bags. "This place is fabulous!"

~ I've already started making friends, especially with Amara. I really don't know what will happen once we meet our mystery bachelor, but until then I will have as much fun as I can. ~ (Tabitha)

The girl that Tabitha pulls out of the limo is a young Hawaiian lady. She has straight black hair down to her mid-back. She has dark, serious eyes. She smiles at Tabitha and then looks at the mansion apprehensively.

Sitting at the pool she introduces, "My name is Amara Aquilla." She tilts her head, smiling stating, "I don't think many people will have to guess that I come from Hawaii." She crosses her fingers together. "I study volcanic activity on the islands." Below her name flashed along with her age (22).

Amara trips over Tabitha's bags the moment she comes through the door. She yells out Tabitha's name and the blond comes rushing back to get her luggage, apologizing. Amara and Tabitha pick out a room together, laughing as they set their stuff on the beds. They walk through the connecting bathrooms to discover their suite mates are Kitty and Katrina.

~ This is an entirely new experience for me. I've always been a family oriented person and this will be the first time away from my family. I'm looking forward to it and meeting the bachelor. ~ (Amara)

The last woman to emerge from the second limousine has long, flowing red hair down to her waist. Her leg emerges first, foot clad in an open-toed gold sandal pump. She steps out wearing an aqua colored sweater and tan hip hugger pants. In slow motion, the camera captures her look around, her green eyes perfectly made up in eye shadow. There's no doubt that this woman is.stunningly gorgeous.

Sitting at the pool, her voice is low pitched as she introduces herself. "My name is Jean Grey." She sits back in her chair, crossing her legs at the ankle. Her name and age (25) showed up. "I'm from New York. I'm currently in medical school at Columbia University." She smiles. "I'm working on a degree in genetics."

It showed Jean walking up the stairs, her luggage floating behind her. She stopped at the master bedroom but received a very cold glare from the blond inside. Marching to a room nearby she walks in and directs her bags down on an empty bed. Coming out of the bathroom, Rogue stops short at the sight of her new roommate.

~ I'm here for love. I know what it is like to have abilities that aren't easy to understand. I don't know what our bachelor is like, but I have a feeling I'm here to meet my destiny. I can't tell any of the others that, or they might get jealous. ~ (Jean)

As the second limo pulled away, the third and final white stretch automobile took its place. The door opened and out stepped a woman with long flowing purple hair. She was oriental in features, wearing a purple and silver Chinese robe. She turned from facing the gardens, to face the house. Her eyes looked up to the many stories of the estate.

Sitting at the pool, the girl looked extremely uncomfortable. "My name is Betsy Braddock," she introduces herself. Her age according to the information is (28). Oddly enough, though her features are of the Asian persuasion, her voice is clipped with a British accent like Risty's. "I'm a fashion model. I am from Malden, England." She crosses her legs, sitting back and looking a bit intimidating.

Betsy climbs the stairs and turns towards the master bedroom. When Emma gives her a look and asks, "What are you doing?" The fashion model says, "Why don't you read my mind and figure it out for yourself."

~ I don't think this will go well because I have chosen to room with the ice queen. I'll simply ignore her and focus on my true goal here. To find a life partner. ~ (Betsy)

The next woman to step out was tall and regal, carrying herself like a princess. She was dark of skin, though her hair was brilliantly white. She wore a dark black top and white pants with white sandals. She took a look around, though her gaze was more on the sky than on the mansion.

At the poolside, the woman is sitting calmly on a lounger. "My name is Ororo Munroe." Under her picture, her age is (33). She looks up and mentions, "The weather looks beautiful today don't you think?" Looking back at the camera she states, "I have an interest in many things, mostly meteorology and horticulture." She sweeps her hands around at the gardens, "This is an excellent view." And back her gaze goes to the camera. "I've lived many places in my life including Egypt, although I currently live in New York."

Ororo calmly takes two simple bags upstairs. She ends up rooming with Jubilation Lee who shakes her head and says, "Please call me Jubilee! Everyone does." They both begin to unpack.

~ I don't know why I agreed to come here. Will I meet my Prince Charming? To be honest I am not sure I believe in fairy tale endings. ~ (Ororo)

The girl that emerges after Ororo looks very young. She also looks very unhappy to be there. She stares up at the mansion with an uncertain look on her face.

By the pool, she says, "My name as I will tell everyone is Sammy." She crosses her arms, "I don't know my real name, because I don't really have family." She lets out a breath and says, "I think I'm from Canada because that's where I had my first memory." She grins and then SCHNIK claws spring out of her hands. "And of course, I think that's where I got these."

Sammy turned away from the mansion and went to grab one duffel bag out of the trunk of the limo. She marched through the doors with the same determined manner and threw her bag down in an empty room.

~ Am I looking for love? I'd probably rather be searching for myself. But the thought of coming home to someone permanent. makes me want that. ~ (Sammy, X23)

A brunette slides out of the limousine, glancing with fear as Sammy disappears inside. She turns to speak to someone inside. The girl is very pretty, wearing a lilac colored top with a jean skirt. She looks out across the garden.

At the pool, she introduces herself, "My name is Taryn Fujioka." She clasps her hands together. "I'm from Bayville, Massachussettes. I work as an Executive Secretary." She tilts her head to the side. "And I have to say, I'm a little nervous around the rest of these girls. They seem to have something. I can't explain." Her age appears to be (25).

Taryn grabbed her luggage from the trunk and walked inside as the rest of the girls did. She picks a room on the second floor, shutting the door on the camera before it can follow behind her. ~ I'm not sure what it is about these women I'm with, but I sense they are different from me. My only hope is that I can impress the bachelor they've selected for us, and he'll keep me around a bit longer than the rest of the girls here. ~ (Taryn)

The last girl to exit the third limo had short black hair and dark black eyes. She looked sullen with full pouting lips that had a scarlet black coating of lipstick. Her clothing included mostly black with a scarlet red trench coat over it.

By the pool, the girl was sitting stiffly in her chair. "My name is Wanda Maximoff," she addressed the camera directly. "I own an occult shop in New York City where I live." To prove her point she raised her hands, showing her tarot deck to the camera. On the bottom of the screen her age was (24).

Wanda retrieved her bags from the back of the limousine. As the third and final stretch limo drove away, she looked up at the house, hesitant about going inside. She walked up the steps slowly and entered the house, the double front doors closing significantly behind her.

~ I just want to find that perfect soul mate. Someone to love and to be loved in return with. ~ (Wanda)

The camera stays deadpan on the double doors before drawing back to show the entire mansion in a large aerial view. From the lighting cast across the mansion and the shadows created, it looks close to sunset.

~ The women have arrived. They'll have one day to settle in and get to know each other before meeting their dream man. ~ (Alex)

The screen fades to black on the beautiful sunset clad house. A moment later a preview starts.

~Next on X-bachelor. the ladies spend a day at the pool and things heat up! ~ (Alex)

There's a good shot of Rogue, standing inside her room with her arms crossed stating in a very raised, angered voice, "Ah told ya to stay away from me or Ah'll hurt ya!"

It switches to a shot of Kitty shouting, "Spike!" She throws up a volleyball into the air and slams it over a net in an outdoor court.

~ Plus the time has come for our ladies to meet their potential mate.~ (Alex)

The image is of Scott, standing at the doors of the mansion, hands clasped together. He's wearing a black and white tuxedo with a white carnation in the boutonnière. His face lights up as an unknown female figure walks towards him - the face can't be seen.

~ And later, Scott must choose to send five of the ladies home. Who will it be? Find out when we return on The X-bachelor.~ (Alex)

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