"We pledged our hearts, my love and I, —
I in my arms the maiden clasping;
I could not guess the reason why,But, oh! I trembled like an aspen." – Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "The
Exchange"
The Waiting Room was worse than ever this time. He found himself plagued by a pair of twins. He didn't know what they were only that they were short like dwarves but infinitely more irritating. They flailed their tentacles and talked to each other and to him incessantly in a kind of high-pitched whine that buzzed along his nerves until he thought he'd lose his mind. He was actually thrilled to get away from them to see Xork.
He held up his hands and cut off the furry hairball before he could speak. "Right. No need to tell me where I messed up. I died and Buffy bit the big one with demons running amok all over Sunnyhell. Just spare me the lecture 'cause I know where I'm headed next."
Xork rocked back and forth and his fingers flew over the keys.
Spike found himself on his knees in front of Buffy. What—? Were they about to shag again? No, wait, he recognized this place and knew what he was about to do. He looked into Buffy's eyes and felt himself seized with such a passion it was a wonder his heart didn't explode. He held up his skull ring and asked, "Buffy Summers. Will you do me the honor, the supreme joy, of being my wife?"
Buffy blushed and stammered. God, she was so cute when she did that. Part of him knew this was just a spell that Red had cooked up. But the other part couldn't care less. Buffy was looking at him with an adoration and love he'd never seen in her even in his last moments with her when the Sunnydale was falling into the dust.
She graced him with a radiant smile accompanied by a melting, dewy expression in her hazel eyes. "It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say."
He tried to remember what he'd said next. "Just say yes and make me the happiest man on earth."
"Oh Spike. Of course it's yes!" She leaped at him and gave him a passionate fervent kiss. Her heart raced and fluttered against his chest and her vanilla scent was all around him and he couldn't remember the last time he'd experienced such giddy bliss. Buffy loved him and all was right with the world. For these precious moments, nothing else mattered. So what if it was just a spell?
He wanted nothing more than to bask in the warmth of her affection and hold the Slayer in his arms forever. But he knew it wouldn't last. He had to get to Red and talk to her before she canceled the whole thing and put him and the Slayer back to square one. He needed the Slayer firmly at his side if he was to make sure she didn't die and need resurrecting this time around.
He unwound Buffy's arms from around his neck and gazed into her adoring hazel eyes. "Um, Buffy, luv."
"Yes, Spike?" She said his name with such loving tenderness it was all he could do to make himself go on.
"There's something I need to do, pet. Just a little matter I need to take care of."
"You're leaving?" There was such a hurt, shocked tone in her voice. It made him want to pet and comfort her just the way he used to do to Drusilla whenever she was feeling low.
"Just for a little bit. I have to go talk to Willow about something important." He wasn't prepared for the reaction he got.
"Willow? Why do you have to see her?" Now her eyes had turned stormy and he realized that she was jealous. Jealous of Willow! It would have been almost funny if the matter hadn't been so urgent.
He was quick to reassure her. "It's not like that, luv. It's not what you're thinking."
She brightened again. "Oh good. 'Cause Willow's my best friend and we share a lot. But you're not on the list. I hope she realizes that."
"I wholeheartedly agree. Thinking of you with Spike is bad enough." That weary voice came from the sofa. Spike turned his head towards the unwelcome intrusion and scowled when he saw the Watcher sinking slowly into the cushions.
"Giles, Spike and I are getting married!" Buffy crowed in spite of the vampire's attempts to shush her.
"Yes, I gathered as much from that appalling display of seeing him on his knees in front of you. Buffy, don't you realize something is terribly wrong here?" Giles probed. "You and Spike were fighting like two cats in a sack moments ago and now you're planning your nuptials! This is ridiculous!"
"Well, that was just UST!" Buffy protested.
"US what?" Giles asked peevishly. "Is that some form of American mental illness?"
Buffy frowned at her Watcher, an expression the older Englishman completely missed. "No. It stands for unresolved sexual tension. I must have been secretly falling for Spike all along. I just couldn't admit it because, hey, me Slayer, him soulless, evil creature of darkness."
"Hey, I'm not…" Then he reconsidered. Yes, he was still soulless in this time and still guilt-free about his evil exploits. He looked at the Watcher appraisingly. Would it hurt the timeline too much to have some demon kill the old bloke? He had a feeling it could be done right in front of Buffy and she wouldn't care; she was so besotted with him, thanks to Red's enchantment.
The idea was an appealing one and he briefly toyed with the notion before reluctantly abandoned it. If the world became a steaming pile of crap because of that Jonathan's croaking, then he couldn't imagine what the death of a Watcher, Buffy's Watcher, might do to corrupt things. No, he was better off letting the man live. He still had one witch to see.
Evidently, Giles had reached the same idea. "About what you said just now, Spike. Why do you want to see Willow?"
"Um, well, I was thinking we could have her as a bridesmaid," Spike lied. "Isn't that right, precious?" he said to Buffy.
She smiled back at him, blazes of light shining deep in her eyes. "That's a wonderful idea! We could have Anya be another bridesmaid."
His nose wrinkled at the thought. Since having the ex-demon bint come on to him incessantly after he got his soul, he found he didn't really care for her company all that much. But he couldn't tell that to Buffy, of course. He darted a swift kiss to her lips and returned her smile. "If that's what my honey wants, that's what she gets."
"Great! I'll call Willow." She ran to the phone just as he began edging towards the door.
"No, let me go and tell her, luv. I just know she'll be so thrilled. You've got other things to do. Besides, I haven't always been nice to her and this is my chance to make amends and apologize."
She pouted and ran back to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Why do we have to be separated? Why can't I go see Willow with you?"
"I think Spike is right, Buffy," the Watcher said, surprising them both. "If the two of you are going to be…" he swallowed audibly before continuing "…married, you need to make preparations such as picking out your dress, getting the caterers, hiring a church, etc., etc." He waved his hand vaguely while staring blindly in their direction. It was obvious he wanted to separate Spike and Buffy but the vampire was perfectly willing to go along with it since it suited his purpose.
Spike patted Buffy on the cheek and smiled indulgently at her. "He's right, pet. You go do all those things."
Her brows wrinkled. She didn't understand why he didn't want to be involved and why he was leaving so soon after declaring his wish to marry her. Was he getting cold feet already? "Don't you want to help?"
"Ah, no. That's girly stuff. I'll just leave it all up to you, luv. I'm sure you'll have perfect taste." He walked over to the door and paused. "However, I'd like it if you didn't use 'Wind Beneath My Winds' as the wedding song."
He shut the door behind him but not in time to avoid hearing her shout, "But that's my favorite song!"
Feeling a shudder run over him, he strode briskly towards Willow's dorm room. If he was lucky, she hadn't thrown up the de-invite spell since the last time he'd been there. Scenting something familiar in the wind, he stiffened and then dove into a bush. It was those Initiative bastards. They were the only ones who could make him scared like this and he trembled in every limb. Spike watched several of them tread clumsily through the surrounding area. The ponces probably thought they were being stealthy. But any self-respecting demon could hear them coming from miles away.
Hatred like molten lava boiled in his veins. He wished the wretched chip was out so he could tear into every single one of the bastards and turn them into sticky, bloody, pasty smears on the ground. He gave a tentative sniff; that pillock Riley Finn wasn't with them. Too bad; he might have taken time out of his precious 24 hours to rub the guy's nose in the fact that he'd stolen Buffy right out from under his brawny Irish arse. Spike smirked at the thought and ran off to find Willow.
It was surprisingly easy to find the bint. He could smell her anger and sense the distinct taint of magic in the air coming from her room and slowed down. It wouldn't do to get the witch riled at him or to run into a spell if she was practicing one. So he stood before her door and knocked.
"Who is it?" her familiar voice called from inside.
"It's me, Red. Could I come in for a sec?"
"Oh, it's you." Her voice was plainly unfriendly and it seemed he was the cause. Frankly, he was surprised. What had he done to get her so brassed off at him anyhow? He couldn't quite remember what had led her to wish Buffy and him together. Maybe he should find out. Then again, it wasn't really important.
He opened the door tentatively and saw her on her bed, kicking her leg. She radiated anger and hostility and he realized he was going to have to tread very carefully until he figured out what was wrong. "Uh, Red. Could I talk to you? It's kinda important." He edged inside and relaxed as he realized that there was no barrier against him. Either the witch was careless or she was confident she could take him.
"Important? And you came to me?" Then she peered at him. "Hey, why aren't you busy being tied up at Giles's? Shouldn't Buffy be pummeling you for information about those army guys?"
Inspiration struck. "Yeah, she did. And I know where they are. Buffy could really use your help with them, Red. You know what an important part of the team you are." He gave her a wide smile to indicate his sincerity.
Her eyes narrowed and her voice got low and steely. "What's up, Spike? What did you do?"
"Who, me? I didn't do nothing, Red." Jesus, why was she getting so upset? Her anger was rising and he couldn't tell what had gotten her knickers into a twist.
"You're being way too nice. And I know you don't think of me as being important. You think me, Xander and Giles are just Buffy's stupid little sidekicks. You're up to something and I'm gonna find out what it is." She lunged for her phone and began dialing up Buffy.
Spike protested, "Hang on, Red. It's all above board, I swear."
She ignored him, holding the phone up to her ear. "Hello, Buffy? Listen, I need to tell you…" Her voice trailed off as Buffy's excited chatter burst from the phone. Spike could hear the Slayer's animated voice as she called his name. "Yeah, Spike's here. You knew about that?" She gave him a puzzled look as she listened to the excited voice on the other end. Then her eyes widened. "You and Spike are getting WHAT?!"
She listened a moment longer, her mouth hanging open and her stunned gaze focused on the vampire standing in her room. "Bridesmaid? Are you kidding me? You're not kidding me. Uh, uh, Buffy, I'm gonna hang up now. Me and the vampire have some talking to do." Without another word, she slammed down the phone and turned to Spike. "I don't believe it. You and Buffy are getting married?"
He smiled indulgently at her shocked expression. "Yeah, that's it, Red. I didn't tell you before 'cause, well, I wanted to lead into it gradual like."
Her face twisted up, absolutely appalled. "But why would you and Buffy…I mean, it's so sick and degraded. Ewwww. Major ewwww!"
Since when had the redhead been so revolted by him? Offended, he said, "It's not that bad! And what's wrong with me? She was hot for Angel and he was a vampire."
"A vampire with a soul," Willow corrected stoutly. "He was a good man. You're an evil, bloodsucking fiend and the only thing that keeps you from biting all our throats out is that chip in your head. That's the truth so don't you dare deny it!" Willow yelled, wagging her finger at him.
He strode forward and stood over her where she sat on the bed, glaring at her. She didn't realize how close to the truth she was right now. But he really needed her help so he forced down his anger and tried speaking to her gently. "Look, Red. I don't have time to convince you about this. But, whatever you think about my biting status, I really love Buffy. I'd like nothing better than to marry her and settle down in a little crypt for two."
Willow shuddered again and held up her hands as if she didn't want to hear it. "I'm this close to using the floor as a barf bag, Spike. And even if what you say about yourself is true, that doesn't explain why Buffy…" Then the truth hit her and her luminous green eyes widened. "Oh my god. This is my spell, isn't it? My spell to get Oz back!"
"That's right, pet. Knew you'd figure it out eventually." He kneeled at Willow's feet. "Look, Red. I need you to understand something. I know it sounds crazy but I really do love Buffy. I've been feeling it coming on for a long time. I just didn't want to say nothing 'cause I knew that everybody would think I was clean off my head."
"No arguments here. And I don't believe that about your loving her. This is just a spell, remember? Hello, you were talking about killing her only a short time ago! You came here looking for Buffy only you found me instead and you threatened to kill me or turn me." The memory caused Willow's face to darken and Spike switched topics hurriedly.
"Well, I'm a vampire. Blood and sex—they kinda go together for us vampires and I was confused about what I was feeling." He cast around for another explanation to convince her. "You want to know why I came back to Sunnydale in the first place?"
She rolled her eyes and puffed out her lips as if the answer were obvious. "Duh! I know why. To kill Buffy."
"No!" He stifled his exasperation and continued. "When I was in South America with Dru, she started cheating on me with all sorts of horrid creatures. You remember what I told you?"
She smiled in spite of herself. "Oh, yeah. You were so desperate to win her back you came up here and demanded I do a love spell because she'd left you for a Chaos demon. I saw a picture of one. Really yucky beasties. I can't believe you were dumped for something like that!" She giggled and then laughed out loud.
He frowned at the display of mirth. "Glad to see my rotten love life is such a topic of amusement for you. I thought you were one of the nice ones, Red."
She tried to choke back her laughter unsuccessfully. "Spike, the last time you were in town you threatened me with a broken bottle and you hurt Xander. That doesn't exactly inspire feelings of the warm and fuzzy, does it?"
"I was upset, all right? Prepared to do anything to get my sweetie back. You ought to know how that feels." Seeing her lips thin, he decided to drop it. "Anyhow, that's all in the past. When I finally confronted Dru about all the screwing around she was doing on me, you know what she told me?"
Willow shrugged. She seemed rather bored by his story but at least she was listening. "She said I was in love with the Slayer. She said she could see Buffy floating in the air all around me. Whenever she looked at me, she could see her. I thought it was pure bollocks. Drusilla was crazy; what did she know? So I came back here to Sunnydale once and for all to kill the Slayer, to prove my princess wrong." He looked at the wiccan to see if she was taking any of this seriously. "Do you know what happened then?"
"Yep. You got tagged by the Initiative and neutered like a house dog," she stated matter-of-factly.
"Ye-no!" He scowled at her innocent expression. She was on the verge of laughing at him again and he wanted to smack her. "I followed Buffy around, trying to find the best place to take her down. I had opportunities—lots of them—but none of them ever seemed like the right time or place. I was stalling and I didn't even know that I was doing it or why. Then your spell took hold and suddenly I understood."
He looked Willow deeply in the eyes as he tried to impress her with his sincerity. "I'm in love with the Slayer, Red. Completely and utterly in love with her. She's the one for me."
There was a moment's silence. Then Willow asked, "Uh huh. And what was Drusilla? A one-night stand?"
"Drusilla was…she was the one who created me, all right? There's the whole Sire/Childe bond thing. And there's also years of history and lust and passion and all the fun and games we vampires get up to. But, face it, she was totally around the bend and most of my time with her was spent taking care of her and making sure she didn't accidentally kill herself. That kind of dependency can feel a lot like love, Red. But, trust me, it ain't. And it don't hold a candle to what I feel for Buffy."
"But, Spike, if you're only saying this now 'cause of the spell…" Willow began.
"I knew you'd say that. I told you, I've been feeling it all along. The spell just brought the whole thing out of me." He got to his feet and sat on the bed beside her. She leaned away from him, an action he decided to overlook. "I know you don't believe me and it seems completely bonkers to you. But it's the honest-to-God's truth, Red. What do I have to gain by lying? I can't hurt Buffy either way. If this were just some plot to get close to her, why would I talk to you about the spell?"
Willow's brows scrunched together as she tried to figure it out. She knew Spike was a real manipulator. But this spell was her idea not his. If he was just taking advantage, why come to her? Wait, that was the question, wasn't it? "Okay, Spike. Say I believe you, that you've had this burning love for Buffy since you and your nuttier-than-a-fruitcake girlfriend went to South America. What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to hold off on canceling the spell. Just until Buffy and I get to know each other better," he added hastily as he saw the refusal looming in her eyes.
Willow couldn't believe that Spike thought she'd agree to something so twisted and wrong. "No, Spike. That's crazy. Even if your, your, feelings for Buffy are real…"
"They are, Red. Trust me," he insisted.
She barreled on. "Even if they are real, Buffy's feelings aren't. She doesn't love you."
"She could!" he said stubbornly.
She shook her head. "No, she doesn't. Trust me on this. She's still holding this big old Statue of Liberty torch for Angel."
A scowl darkened his face at the mention of his hated Grandsire. "Always got the bloody poof in mind, does she? Well, I know for a fact that she got over him. What about that Riley bloke?"
Willow frowned. "Riley Finn? What about him? He's just started seeing Buffy. There's nothing serious there." Then she sucked in her breath. "Oh, no! If she's marrying you, that'll ruin her chances with him! I've got to reverse this spell!"
Spike could have kicked himself. He shouldn't have mentioned another rival on the horizon—certainly not that Riley pillock. "No, Red. That's just it! Please, just wait a tick. Give the Slayer and me time to sort this out."
"I can't do that, Spike. I've gotten one of my friends into an ugly mess and I have to fix it before things get any worse." Now her features had hardened into what he recalled was her Resolve Face. He'd seen her turn it on Buffy and the others often enough and knew he wasn't going to make any headway with her.
She began gathering herbs and candles from her drawers and he made one last-ditch attempt to appeal to her. "Dammit, Red. Don't do this!
"I have to, Spike. And if you loved Buffy as much as you claimed, you'd want to see if her feelings for you are real, spell or no spell." She began creating a circle and mumbling under her breath.
At the sight, Spike completely lost his head. He grabbed her arm and tugged at her, dragging her to her feet. The action wasn't enough to hurt her so his chip didn't go off. But the redhead tried to twist out of his grip. As his fingers tightened enough to become painful, the chip blazed through his head and he clapped his hand to his skull, loosening his hold on her.
Christ, he'd forgotten just how much that sodding piece of hardware in his head could hurt. Willow staggered from the sudden release and tripped backwards over one of the candles at her feet. Her head hit the corner of the nightstand with a sickening crunch. She collapsed to the floor, blood oozing from a cut to her temple and didn't move. There was a flicker of a pulse for the barest instant. Then her heart stopped altogether.
Spike stood stock-still as he stared at her body in horror. He kneeled by her side. "Red? Red, come on. Wake up." Her eyes stared sightlessly up at the ceiling and he knew with certainty that there was nothing to be done. Shit, what was he going to do now?
He looked about the room wildly in a full-fledged panic. Thank goodness the door was still shut; he was safe for the moment. His first impulse was to take the body and throw it in the river someplace. Oh, but that hadn't worked so well for him in the past, had it? Besides, if Willow's body were found later with the marks of violence on it, it was a sure bet one of the others would blame him for it. Even if her death were an accident, why would they believe him?
Maybe it wasn't too late. Modern medicine performed all kinds of miracles, didn't it? If he got the medics here, maybe they could patch her up and start her heart again. He snatched up the phone and disguised his voice as he dialed 911. "Yeah? Could you send an ambulance right away? There's an injured woman here and she needs medical assistance." He shot a glance at the still body and added, "She's suffered a massive blow to the head. Get over here as quick as you can."
Hanging up the phone and making sure to wipe off his fingerprints, he quickly slid out the opened window. He'd been in Willow's room before so, if his fingerprints were found, he could always say they were from his previous visit. But how was he going to explain this to Buffy, to the others?
The vampire stood watching silently from the bushes as the EMTs came out, the slight body lying stilly under the shrouding sheet. That was it, then. The witch was truly dead. That ridiculous tune from The Wizard of Oz ran through his head and he had to resist the urge to laugh like a loon.
"Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, "The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table"
He walked back to Buffy's place thinking hard while turning over this latest development. Her death wasn't his fault. Hell, he hadn't intended to hurt her at all. But what would Willow's death do to the timeline? On the plus side, with her dead, she couldn't resurrect the Slayer. He tried to think wildly of what other implications there would be.
What about Adam? They'd needed Willow's expert computer skills to get into the Initiative when that pitiful excuse for a Frankenstein's monster decided to unleash all manner of havoc on those unsuspecting army gits. Still, would it be so bad if all those demons put paid to those military cretins? Yeah, that would be a big plus as far as he was concerned. But, with all of them gone, the beasties would overflow onto the surface with Adam at the helm. On their own, the demons weren't a particularly organized bunch. But, with that patchwork freak leading them, they'd raise all manner of trouble.
And that Glory bint—they had needed Willow's help to fight her in that battle. That Xork had said as much. But maybe, with Buffy in love with him, they could hightail it out of town before Glory's attack. He knew any number of swell places around the globe where they could hide.
He could take Buffy on a trip around the world. They'd visit all the places he and Drusilla had seen together. Spike allowed himself to indulge in daydreams of taking Buffy to Madrid, Rome, Paris—all the major capitals. They could honeymoon in England…
But would Buffy agree to leave? Hell, he didn't even know if the magic spell Red had concocted was still in force or whether it had gone up in smoke with her death as often happened with practicing sorcerers. Either way, he was in no hurry to confront the Slayer and the rest of their pals. So he decided to take the long route back to the Watcher's house while he came up with a plausible story about Willow. When they got word of her death, he'd act just as surprised as anyone else. He'd say that she had been alive when he left her. He'd always been good at fooling that lot when he wanted. This would be no different.
When he came back to the Watcher's place, he found Buffy dancing around, humming that damnable wedding tune under her breath, while the Watcher lay neglected on the sofa with a towel draped over his eyes. "So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness…tomorrow," Giles murmured in a tired tone.
Buffy was blithely unconcerned about her Watcher's state of health. "They were all out of Tagas root at the magick shop. They'll have more tomorrow. I'm completely on top of it." Her eyes lit up with that delicious sparkle and she ran back to Spike, kissing him soundly. "Honey, you're back! That's so great. I missed you. Look what I got." She showed him the wedding topper—a plastic bride and groom, both utterly dull and boring blonds.
Spike did his best to smile. "That's wonderful…lamb."
She beamed in delight that he was so pleased. "I knew you'd like them. They look like us, don't they?"
He was about to answer with his reply about the groom looking insipid then decided to skip it. It wasn't important. What was important was that the annoying whelp and his ex-demon bint were about to come through that door.
Right on cue, Xander burst in with the chattering ex-demon in tow, babbling about being attacked by demons. Then he started pulling the bookshelf in front of the door to barricade it and yelled at everybody to start boarding up the windows.
The vampire was assailed with the now-familiar feeling of dread. Willow's loss wasn't going to take weeks to be felt. They were experiencing the effects now. The whelp was getting attacked by demons every second and without Red to break the spell…
Giles interrupted his train of thought. "What's going on?"
Anya was frantically trying to help her boyfriend. She loved getting orgasms from Xander; she was damned if a lot of demons were going to stop her good times. "Demons. They keep coming and coming."
Xander peered out through the window. "I think we lost them, but I couldn't see."
"That makes two of us," Giles muttered. He rubbed uselessly at his eyes once more.
Then Xander noticed that Spike wasn't tied down. "Why is Spike loose? Buffy, did you notice Spike is untied? Giles, do you know you have an untied-down vampire in your home?"
"Yes, I'm very much aware of that fact, Xander," Giles remarked sharply. "I'm infinitely grateful that I can't see it considering the shenanigans that are going on."
"You can't see it?" Then he took note of Giles's position. "Why are you just lying there? Did Spike do something to you?"
"I wouldn't be the least bit surprised," Giles mumbled.
"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say about my future husband!" Buffy snapped.
Xander froze and Anya blinked. "Future…what did you say? Anya, did she say what I think she said?"
"God, you are one of the bright ones, aren't you, Harris? Makes me wonder how you all managed to foil my plans so much," Spike sniped.
"Because you're an idiot," Xander replied automatically. "Buffy, are you insane?! What is this about Spike and you in the same sentence in a matrimonial way?"
Spike sat down on a chair and pulled Buffy down to sit on his lap and began nuzzling her, taking delight in the ill expression on the whelp's face. She leaned her head on Spike's shoulder and smiled dreamily. "It's true, Xander. Me and Spike are gonna be married. Isn't it just wonderful?"
Amid the storm of protest and disbelief that came from the brunette Scooby, Spike glanced down into Buffy's face. There was a glowing light on it such as he had rarely seen. He remembered glimpsing it once or twice when she'd mentioned Angel within earshot while talking to Willow. But it had never been there for him. Now seeing it there simply warmed his undead heart—until he noticed the glazed, unfocused stare that seemed to accompany it.
This wasn't real. None of what she felt for him was genuine. There was no foundation to it at all. Underneath this bleeding enchantment, she was the same old Slayer who couldn't stand him and had been threatening to stake him throughout most of the first year they'd been forced to work together. The hatred was still there, only now so heavily cloaked with this saccharine love spell that she'd never remember it except whenever they spoke to each other.
When he thought about it, he remembered she didn't really agree with him about anything for their wedding. She argued over the song, where they should hold the ceremony, how she wanted it in the daylight even though it might kill him and how she thought his name was just too weird to put on the wedding invitations. She didn't like one bloody thing about him—but she wanted to get married to him just the same.
Ignoring Xander's continuing rant about how this was just plain wrong, twisted and evil, he murmured to Buffy, "Can I ask you something, luv?"
She ran a finger along one of his ears and said, "Anything. What is it, snookums?"
Snookums! Oh, that was too much. He swallowed the bile rising to the tip of his throat and forced himself to ask. "Do you like me?"
She blinked as if she couldn't believe the stupidity of the question. "Do I what? Do I like you? Sweetie, I love you!" She drew his face down for another smacking kiss, earning them a waspish admonition from the prone Watcher.
He pushed her off gently. "No, luv. I'm serious. Do you like me?"
Her eyebrows drew together as she tried to sort out her answer. "Well, um, there's some things I like about you."
He held his non-existent breath. "Like what?"
"Like…your accent." She grinned as if happy she could get off so easily. "It's kinda sexy."
He perked up at that. "Really?" Well, that was a start. A lot of foreign bints thought the English accent was a turn-on. Nice that Buffy was as susceptible to its charms as any of them.
"Except when you use those weird words I don't understand like 'bollocks' and 'wanker' and 'pet.' I don't really like being called pet, you know. It makes me feel like a Chihuahua," she finished with a frown.
That took the wind right out of his sails. "So you like my accent but you don't like the things I say."
"No-o, I guess not. Especially when you're taking those swipes at me or my friends or the things around you. You're pretty much sarcastic and mean all the time when you talk. It's not nice. I don't really like it—like when you were making fun of my name and my mother." Her frown deepened and she drew away from him slightly.
Okay, that was not good. He usually made fun of people; it was just the way he was. Hello? Evil vampire? Besides, with that sodding chip stuck in his head, he had to get his jollies somehow. What was a little verbal humiliation compared to physical torture? "What about my looks then? You think I'm handsome?"
"God, isn't somebody full of himself? It's a good thing he can't see his reflection, Buffy," Xander said snidely. "He'd probably spend all his time kissing the mirror."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at Xander. Then she peered up at Spike. "Um, promise you won't get mad, snookums?"
Damn, that pet name would have to go. He gritted his teeth in a false attempt at a smile. "I won't get mad. I promise—Goldilocks."
"The smoking's kind of a turn-off. It makes your mouth taste like an ashtray, although you're a pretty good kisser so that really makes up for it. And I usually prefer tall guys. My first real boyfriend back in Los Angeles was tall. Then there was Owen, Parker, Tom—you don't know him but he was kinda tall, too. And there was Angel, of course." Her eyes softened in remembrance of her first vampire lover and the dewy expression was like a slap across his face. That was the look of true love, the subtle difference that lay between her stated love for him and her deep, abiding emotions for Angel.
Oblivious to his pain, she rambled on in her description of the perfect male. "Ooh, and now there's Riley. He's tall, too, and muscly. I like that in my men. I was really interested in him. We even went out on a daylight picnic." She caught his tight-lipped, stormy grimace and hurriedly continued. "But none of that means anything now. I'm with you, sweetie. We're gonna get married and after that I won't ever look at any other guy even if he was Keanu Reeves."
"Keanu Reeves!?" Spike barked. "The actor? Not that he deserves the name. I've seen coat racks with more acting range than him."
Buffy glared at him in outrage. First Spike dismissed her favorite song and now her favorite actor? "Hey, that's not fair! Besides, we were discussing looks not talent. He's studly, tall, dark, sexy and handsome and he has the most beautiful dark eyes, too. The complete package and perfect combo," Buffy said by way of explanation. "Just not perfect for me…not anymore," she added by way of softening her words when she saw how upset Spike was getting.
"Yes, he is a gorgeous man," Anya observed. "Xander has that sort of thing going for him, too, and he's really great in bed. I'm surprised you didn't decide to make him your boyfriend, Buffy, if that's your type. Except that you can't now because he's taken. You had your chance," she finished, winding her hands around Xander's arm.
"Oh, like I'd want him, anyway," Buffy sniffed. "Believe me, the only time I threw myself at Xander was when I was under a spell."
"Ack! That's it!" Xander yelled, causing everyone to jump.
"What is?" Giles asked wearily and Spike knew what was coming.
"A spell. When I was with Willow, she said something." He waved his hands spastically in Spike and Buffy's direction. "Something about Buffy marrying Spike!" Then he realized. "And she said I was a demon magnet."
"Oh, that's why these things are after you," Anya exclaimed. She frowned. "What did she mean by that, exactly? Was she insulting me?"
"It wasn't about you, Anya. She was talking about my tastes in women in general," Xander said in an effort to stave off the argument he could sense brewing on the horizon.
Anya was indignant. "So it was an insult. Is that what the two of you do when I'm not around—discuss your terrible girlfriend?"
"Anya, not now. There's something more important going on here. I've been turned into demon bait, remember?" Xander pointed out.
"That would explain my blindness," Giles added.
"You're blind?" Xander waved his hands in front of the Watcher's face and Giles pulled away, irritation creasing his face.
"I don't know what you're doing but stop it at once. You smell like Fruit Roll-Ups." Xander jerked away, hiding a guilty expression.
"Why would Willow wish Giles to be blind? Was this some sort of vengeance spell?" Anya asked. The idea that vengeance was involved immediately piqued her interest. Then she wondered why Willow would wish demon attacks on her best friend Xander and her curiosity vanished to be replaced by anger. If they survived this, she was going to give that meddling witch a good talking to.
"She didn't wish me blind, exactly. She just said I didn't see when I tried to commiserate with her about Oz's loss. She seemed to be angrier than she should have been," Giles mused.
Xander added, "And she got upset because Buffy had left her to check up with Spike about the army guys. She hated being given the brush-off for Angel Jr. here and said 'Why doesn't Buffy just marry Spike?' " The tall brunette cast his eyes on Buffy. "So that's it. We're all under spells courtesy of one griefed-up superwitch."
Buffy was vocal in her protests. "I don't think I'm under a spell. I know what I'm feeling and this is true love. Isn't that right, Spike?" She wound her arms around him and favored him again with that simpering smile and he closed his eyes to avoid her gaze. The constant declarations of love were really starting to wear thin now that he knew there was nothing real behind them.
Giles grimaced from a similar distaste and questioned Spike. "Did Willow say anything about this when you talked to her, Spike?"
"You were talking to Willow? When was that?" Xander demanded.
Spike knew he had to play this carefully. The whelp had always been the most distrusting of him and he couldn't afford to make Buffy angry at him. "I went to see her just a short while ago. I told her Buffy and me were getting married and Buffy wanted her as a bridesmaid. That was it."
Xander's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He didn't trust Spike. The vampire wasn't questioning his sudden attachment to Buffy and that wasn't like the peroxide puke at all. Xander was beginning to think Spike had something to do with this although he didn't see why Willow would help him. He was going to talk to his best friend when he got the chance; she couldn't be fooling with magic if Spike was going to be taking advantage. "And she didn't think that was strange?" the brunette probed.
Spike said, "Well, yeah! But I told her it was true love. It took a bit of convincing but I think she really believed me."
"And I think I really don't," Xander replied. "This is a spell. Anybody can see that with both eyes closed."
Buffy had had it. She was fed up with everyone dismissing her feelings. "No way! I'm telling you, this isn't a spell! I love Spike! Why doesn't anybody believe us?"
"Because you said you can't stand anything about him: his looks, his talk, his smoking and you think he's too short," Anya added, her bluntness taking no heed of anybody's feelings as usual. She flicked her eyes critically over Spike's body. "And what about his coat? While I agree that many people find leather extremely sexy, he wears his all the time. It gets rather boring after a while and I just can't see him marching down the aisle in it. Or is wearing oversized cowhide part of a wedding tradition you humans have like those really big foam fingers you wear at your ritualistic competitive sporting games?"
Buffy glanced at the offending garment and made a tiny moue of distaste. "Well, okay, it's not exactly haute couture. But he doesn't wear it all the time. And you wouldn't wear it at the wedding. Right, sweetie?" Her pleading glance begged him to agree.
He plastered a tight smile on his face. "No, course not, pe-uh, Buffy. Wouldn't do to be wearing this with you all in your lovely white dress, would it?"
Buffy beamed in delight at the concession. "And I'm betting he'd look great in a tux." Spike gritted his teeth at the notion. But Buffy was oblivious to his discomfort. "See! He's not all bad. You can love someone without liking everything about them. It's called making compromises," she finished with a triumphant look at Xander.
Xander couldn't believe Buffy would be this deluded about Spike. "Or settling. But the point is, you don't like anything about Spike. How about that ugly dyed hair? Do you like that?"
"Yes!" Seeing everyone's eyes on her except Giles's, she muttered, "No, not really. It does look kinda cheap. Is there any chance you can let your hair grow back to its natural color for the wedding, honey?"
"Oh, I suppose you'd like it better if I dyed it brunette and smeared nancy boy hair gel in it!" Spike sneered. "Besides, you dye your hair, too, luv. I've seen your roots."
"I do not dye my hair!" Buffy shot back. "First it's my name and my mother and now my hair. I know I'm not under a spell. But I'm beginning to think you are." Her chin wobbled a little and she looked on the verge of tears.
Well, what could he say to that? Before he could think up a pacifying lie, demons came crashing into the house. He almost welcomed the interruption before he realized that it wasn't stopping. The demons were coming from everywhere with no rhyme or reason to their attacks. They were renewing their assault on the donut boy and he grabbed Buffy's hand to pull her away from the fray. "Come on, luv! We've got to get out of here! There's too many of them!"
She resisted his pull, desperate to save her friends. "No, Spike! We've got to help the others." Even under a spell, she still retained her fierce loyalty towards her little squad. He almost admired her for it. Almost.
Anya yelled as one of the demons clubbed Xander on the head, causing the boy to stagger. "Buffy, help! Xander's in trouble!"
Buffy jerked her arm away from Spike and waded back into the fight. Helpless to leave her, he took his stand beside her. But there were too many demons of too many different kinds. The odds quickly became overwhelming and then insurmountable.
"Everybody, clear out! We need to get to open ground!" Spike yelled.
"You grab Giles!" Buffy yelled. She punched one particularly ugly demon in the face and Spike watched as three others converged on her. Xander may have been a demon magnet but the spell didn't prevent these creatures from knowing a Slayer when they saw one and correctly pegging her as the greater threat.
As if in slow motion, he saw the sword descend towards her head and he lunged in her direction, knowing it would be too late. Xander was closer and managed to throw himself into her hard enough to knock them both out of the demon's path. The tip of the sword plunged deeply into the floor where it stuck. The demon grunted as he tried to tug it out and Spike seized the opportunity to attack him, striking him hard in the face.
When the demon reeled back, Spike retrieved the lost sword and swung the weapon at the beastie's neck. The metal sliced into the throat but didn't manage to sever the head. Now it was Spike's turn to tug ineffectually at the weapon.
"Spike, look out!" Buffy's scream came an instant too late as a yellow demon with fists the size of anvils threw a lethal punch at his head. The vampire's spine cracked under the blow and his head (obviously far more fragile than the head of the demon he'd been trying to kill) parted from his shoulders. For brief milliseconds he saw Xander going down under an onslaught of demons…
The Watcher groping with Anya towards an open window...
Buffy's mouth stretched open in a silent howl…
Then his head exploded into dust.
This time he was prepared as he was catapulted into the cavernous space of the waiting room and tucked his body into a roll, coming to his feet in one smooth, easy motion. He flapped his hand wearily at the nearest window. "No, don't get up. I know where I'm headed.
Glancing around the waiting room, he was slightly heartened to see some faces he knew. Waving to a Quurantarath wraith, he said, "How're you doing, mate? Still here or did they bring you back, too?"
The creature flickered, a succession of bright colors lighting up its ethereal, smoke like body. He didn't know if that signaled comprehension or merely a greeting. He didn't even know if it was the same wraith he'd seen on his previous visit.
He slouched over to the dispenser, pulled out a ticket and plopped down in the chair beside the amorphous being where it floated in the air. "Yeah, it's been that kind of a day for me, too. So how's the weather been where you've been at?"
"Love is all fire, and yet is ever freezing;
Love is much in winning, yet is more in leesing:
Love is ever sick, and yet is never dying;
Love is ever true, and yet is ever lying;
Love does doat in liking, and is mad in loathing;
Love indeed is anything, yet indeed is nothing." – Thomas Middleton, Blurt
TBC
"Spike Multiplied" Love At Second Glance, ch. 4 of7
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