Hello everyone. I am so sorry it has taken so long to get back to this. Writer's block is the pits. I got her to the hospital and then it seemed nothing worked after that. I will try to continue on and not take as long this time, but sometimes as we all know, the story has a life all its own. Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate all the kind words from each of you. I only hope you have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thanks again - DeannaMorgan
Chapter 7
Jo and Sam just stood staring at the doctor in disbelief. Neither of them wanted to acknowledge the horrific truth he had just revealed. The silence was broken by the distraught sobs of Gordo. Sam walked over and wrapped his arms around him as a father would his son.
Jo, after walking over to the window to try and calm her nerves, finally found her voice. "She is so young. She always wanted a family of her own. How will she deal with this?"
The doctor looked over the grieving family. "You will all have to be there for her. It won't be easy. She has a long road ahead of her just in the recovery from the physical injuries, but the emotional ones they will be harder. Your daughter has a lot of loving friends. She was in a very serious place, but she found the will to fight and stay alive, you all will have to help her keep that will. She will need you now more than ever before." He turned to walk from the room, but turned at the last minute. "Would you like me to tell her?" he asked.
Jo and Sam looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to tell Lizzie she would never know the joys of motherhood. She would never know what it was like to feel a baby growing inside her, the agony and joy of the birthing process, the torment of watching them grow up just to go away.
Drawing in a deep breath to gather her courage, Jo looked over to the doctor and said, "No, we will tell her. It may be easier coming from us."
"Okay." He replied, "We have counselors on hand should you need them."
"Thank you Doctor." Sam said. "When can we see Lizzie?"
"She is in recovery and will be there for a couple of hours. Then we will move her into a room. To be honest, she will probably sleep the rest of the night. You should all try and go get some rest."
"I'm not leaving." Gordo replied.
Sam, Jo and Miranda all followed suit. They would all stay in order to be there once Lizzie was awake. "Okay," Dr. Cain replied. "I will let you know when we have moved Lizzie to a room. Until then, I will ask one of the nurses to bring in some blankets, so you can try to make yourselves as comfortable as possible."
"Thank you Doctor." They all said.
Jo looked over at Sam. Tears were running down her cheeks. 'If only I had refused to allow her to come on this trip.' She thought. Sam could almost see the thoughts of self-loathing on Jo's face. He knew she was blaming herself. "Come here honey." He called. Jo walked into the embrace willingly and cried.
"It's all my fault." She muttered.
Gordo pulled away from Sam and looked directly at Jo. "No its not." He replied. "It's mine. I should have known not to go into that Canyon. Mr. and Mrs. McGuire, I love Lizzie with all my heart and I want to be there for her now more than ever, but I will understand if you don't want me to ever have anything to do with her any more. You just say the word and I will stay out of her life forever."
Jo grabbed Gordo by the shoulders; "You listen to me right now. You are not to blame. If it had not been for you and Miranda, Lizzie would have died tonight."
"Had it not been for me and Gordo," Miranda spoke up, "Lizzie would have never been on this trip in the first place."
"Stop it. All of you." Sam practically yelled. "Lizzie is going to need all of us to help her through this. Feeling sorry for ourselves is out of the question. We need to pull together and work as a team. No more of this 'only ifs'. There is no longer I or me. It is we; do I make myself clear?"
No one spoke, but they all nodded in agreement. At that moment, the nurse stepped in with blankets. Each took one and found a place on the floor or in a chair to get some rest. They all knew that once Lizzie woke up, they would all start the emotional roller coaster all over again.
******
Miranda woke up in the middle of the night. As she looked around, she saw Jo and Sam huddled against each other, but she noticed Gordo was no longer with them.
Getting up quietly, so she would not disturb Lizzie's parents, she went to look for her friend. Walking down the hall, she looked in each room. Finally, she came to the last on at the end of the hallway. Peeking inside, she saw Gordo sitting silently by a small and very pale Lizzie. "Hey." She whispered.
Gordo was startled out of his thoughts as he looked up to see Miranda staring at him. "Hey." He replied back. "She looks so frail."
Miranda walked over and sat down on the other side of Lizzie. She looked at Gordo and nodded her agreement. "Better not let her hear you call her 'frail'. She will have your head on a platter. You heard the doctor, she is going to be okay, barring no complications from the surgery."
"Miranda?" Gordo began, "How do you think Lizzie is going to take the news?"
Miranda remained quiet. She knew what he was really asking was if she thought Lizzie would blame him for this. "I don't know." She said quietly. "I know that Lizzie has talked to me in the past about wanting a family. She always joked about having the 2.3 kids. I think it will be a blow to her at first, but she will eventually come around. We just have to make her understand that there are always other options. Just because she can't have children naturally, doesn't mean she will never be a mommy. There is always adoption."
Gordo sat there a moment. "You know I want to marry her don't you?" he asked.
Miranda smiled. "I have always known that Gordo."
Gordo and Miranda's conversation was interrupted by a low moan. They looked over at Lizzie as she stirred in her sleep. "Mom." She called.
Gordo leaned down and whispered, "Shh. It's okay. You are safe now. You just lie there and get some more sleep. You need to regain your strength."
"Gordo?" she whispered.
"Yeah sweetie, its me." Reaching down, he took her hand in his. He leaned down and kissed it softly. "Are you in pain?"
Lizzie rolled her eyes trying to get the pounding in her head to stop. "A little. Where are we?" she asked.
"You're the in the hospital." Miranda answered.
"Miranda?" Lizzie called. "I guess you made it after all. Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me Lizzie. You just need to get well." Miranda replied.
"Is mom and dad here?" she asked.
Miranda looked over at Gordo. He nodded knowing that Lizzie would want to see her mom as soon as possible. "Yeah they are. You just wait, and I will go get them for you."
When Miranda left, Lizzie looked over at Gordo and asked weakly, "What is the matter?"
Gordo smiled at her. Love shinning brightly in his eyes. "I was just thinking of how close I came to losing you. I never want to feel that way again. I love you Lizzie. I want you to know that and no matter what, I will always love you. Do you understand me?"
"I love you to Gordo." Lizzie said. Her eyes were beginning to close. "I am so tired." She muttered.
"Close you eyes and get some rest. Your mom and dad will be here once you wake up." He urged.
"No." she answered, "I want to see mom. She has to know that I am okay."
"I do know that you are okay honey." Came the soft whisper of her mom. "I love you so much. I never want you to scare me like this again. Is that a deal?"
"Deal." Came the exhausted. "I love you mom."
"I love you too honey. Now, you need to get some sleep. You want to get your strength back soon." Jo said fighting hard not to cry. She had been there each time Lizzie had been sick as a child. She worried about her each time she had a cold, a upset stomach, the chicken pox, every child hood sickness, she had always been able to kiss it and make it better, but she knew that no matter how badly she wanted to kiss Lizzie and tell her everything was going to be okay, she knew that it would not be. Lizzie was going to have to face this battle and come to terms with tragic events that would now forever change her life.
She leaned in and kissed Lizzie on the forehead. "I love you honey."
"Love you too mom." Lizzie muttered as she drifted off into a dreamless slumber.
Sam walked over and wrapped Jo in a hug. "How are we going to tell her?" she asked. "How will she ever be able to deal with all of this? She is still so young."
"Lizzie is strong sweetie." Sam replied. "She will find it within herself to come to terms with all of this. You need to have faith in our daughter."
"I guess we don't have a choice." Jo answered.
*******
The sun was shining brightly through the window in Lizzie's room. Opening her eyes, she looked around the room. Gordo had fallen asleep with his head on her bed. She smiled when she felt his hand gripping hers. Her mom was on the other side of the bed. She was clutching Lizzie's other hand. When she turned her head, she saw Miranda asleep in a chair, and her head was resting on her dad's shoulder.
With her head beginning to clear from the anesthesia, Lizzie realized that she was in pain. Her head hurt, her side was on fire, and her lower abdomen felt heavy and bloated. To make things worse, she had to go to the bathroom.
Lizzie shifted her hips to make herself more comfortable, but the moment she moved, she had to stifle a scream. The agony in her hips was unbearable.
Lizzie gripped Gordo's hand so tight; he thought she was going to break it. "Lizzie?" he asked. "What's wrong honey? Are you in pain?" The look that Lizzie gave him made him rethink his next question. "Sorry." He said, "Of course you are. Hang on. I will get a nurse."
Lizzie breathed through the pain as Gordo ran to get help. Jo looked up into her daughter's pain filled eyes and squeezed her hand. "Mom," she gasped, "Why do I hurt so much?"
Jo looked at her frail daughter and her eyes filled with tears. "You are going to be okay honey. You have a few broken bones. Try not to move okay?"
Lizzie nodded in understanding. That would explain why she felt like she was on fire. 'God Gordo,' she thought, 'please hurry.' Lizzie closed her eyes and tried to think of something else, anything that would take away the pain she was in. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Joe reached over and wiped them away. "Shh honey, it's going to be okay. Just hang on a little longer." Looking over at Sam, she snapped, "Go see what is taking so long."
Sam nodded and walked toward the door. He was reaching for the door when Gordo came rushing in with a nurse. "Finally." Sam yelled, "What is taking you people so long? Can't you see my daughter is in pain?"
The nurse didn't reply. She knew the stress of the situation was causing short fuses. She just walked over to Lizzie and checked the monitors. Heart rate was a little high; blood pressure was a little elevated. All of this was normal under the circumstances. "If you could all please step outside, I need to check Lizzie."
Jo started to protest, but the desperate pleas from Lizzie stopped her cold. "Please Mom. Let her do whatever she needs to do. I just need the pain to stop."
Jo nodded and ushered everyone out of the room. "If you need me honey, I will be right outside."
Lizzie watched her leave. Once the door closed, she no longer felt like being strong. Lizzie began to cry. "Okay honey," the nurse, "I am going to give you something for the pain, but first, I need to check your temperature." Lizzie nodded in agreement. The nurse inserted the thermometer and checked Lizzie's pulse rate. By the time the nurse was finished taking her temperature, cold sweat was running down Lizzie face.
"God please." Lizzie croaked.
Walking over to Lizzie's IV, the nurse injected it with what Lizzie would consider a miracle drug. "This will take effect in just a few minutes." The nurse said, "You hang in there okay? You are a very brave young lady. I don't know what I would do if I were in the same situation as you. I don't think I could stand it if I could never have children."
Lizzie's eyes widened in shock, "What are you talking about?"
The nurse looked over at Lizzie and realized her mistake. "Oh God." She said, "I thought they told you."
Lizzie could feel the fuzziness of the drugs beginning to dull her senses. She had to make sure she heard the nurse correctly. Blinking several times, she asked. "Told me what?"
"Nothing dear." The nurse answered, "You just lay back and relax. I will send your family back in."
"No." she said, "You tell me what you meant."
"Honey please. You don't need to get upset. You just need to go to sleep. Let the drugs take over now."
Lizzie fought against the effects of the drugs even harder. "NO!" she yelled. "You tell me what you meant."
*****
Jo, Sam, Miranda and Gordo all paced outside Lizzie's room waiting anxiously for the nurse to finish, so they could all go in and check to make sure Lizzie was okay. Suddenly, there was an anguished scream from inside Lizzie's room.
They all ran in. What they saw scared them almost as bad as seeing Lizzie unconscious. She was crying and shaking uncontrollably. The nurse was sitting beside her trying her best to comfort her, but Lizzie didn't want her anywhere near her. "What did you do to her?" Jo screamed as she ran to Lizzie's side. Reaching down, she gathered her distraught daughter into her arms.
Getting off the bed, the nurse hung her head. "I'm sorry, I thought she knew already."
"Thought she knew what?" Jo asked. Then she looked at Lizzie. The anguish in her eyes told Jo everything she needed to know. "Oh God. How could you?" she asked.
"Why?" Lizzie cried, "Why?"
"Honey, it's going to be okay. You are strong. You can get through this." Jo soothed.
Sam walked over to the nurse. "I think you should leave."
Lizzie was loosing the battle with the drugs. Her fighting against her mom was less. Slowly she began to settle down. Jo leaned into Lizzie and whispered, "Honey, there is still a lot of life in you. You will still get married and adopt children all of your own. You can still have a normal life."
"No ones going to love me." She muttered, "I'm broken." With that, Lizzie slipped into a drug-induced sleep.
Chapter 7
Jo and Sam just stood staring at the doctor in disbelief. Neither of them wanted to acknowledge the horrific truth he had just revealed. The silence was broken by the distraught sobs of Gordo. Sam walked over and wrapped his arms around him as a father would his son.
Jo, after walking over to the window to try and calm her nerves, finally found her voice. "She is so young. She always wanted a family of her own. How will she deal with this?"
The doctor looked over the grieving family. "You will all have to be there for her. It won't be easy. She has a long road ahead of her just in the recovery from the physical injuries, but the emotional ones they will be harder. Your daughter has a lot of loving friends. She was in a very serious place, but she found the will to fight and stay alive, you all will have to help her keep that will. She will need you now more than ever before." He turned to walk from the room, but turned at the last minute. "Would you like me to tell her?" he asked.
Jo and Sam looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to tell Lizzie she would never know the joys of motherhood. She would never know what it was like to feel a baby growing inside her, the agony and joy of the birthing process, the torment of watching them grow up just to go away.
Drawing in a deep breath to gather her courage, Jo looked over to the doctor and said, "No, we will tell her. It may be easier coming from us."
"Okay." He replied, "We have counselors on hand should you need them."
"Thank you Doctor." Sam said. "When can we see Lizzie?"
"She is in recovery and will be there for a couple of hours. Then we will move her into a room. To be honest, she will probably sleep the rest of the night. You should all try and go get some rest."
"I'm not leaving." Gordo replied.
Sam, Jo and Miranda all followed suit. They would all stay in order to be there once Lizzie was awake. "Okay," Dr. Cain replied. "I will let you know when we have moved Lizzie to a room. Until then, I will ask one of the nurses to bring in some blankets, so you can try to make yourselves as comfortable as possible."
"Thank you Doctor." They all said.
Jo looked over at Sam. Tears were running down her cheeks. 'If only I had refused to allow her to come on this trip.' She thought. Sam could almost see the thoughts of self-loathing on Jo's face. He knew she was blaming herself. "Come here honey." He called. Jo walked into the embrace willingly and cried.
"It's all my fault." She muttered.
Gordo pulled away from Sam and looked directly at Jo. "No its not." He replied. "It's mine. I should have known not to go into that Canyon. Mr. and Mrs. McGuire, I love Lizzie with all my heart and I want to be there for her now more than ever, but I will understand if you don't want me to ever have anything to do with her any more. You just say the word and I will stay out of her life forever."
Jo grabbed Gordo by the shoulders; "You listen to me right now. You are not to blame. If it had not been for you and Miranda, Lizzie would have died tonight."
"Had it not been for me and Gordo," Miranda spoke up, "Lizzie would have never been on this trip in the first place."
"Stop it. All of you." Sam practically yelled. "Lizzie is going to need all of us to help her through this. Feeling sorry for ourselves is out of the question. We need to pull together and work as a team. No more of this 'only ifs'. There is no longer I or me. It is we; do I make myself clear?"
No one spoke, but they all nodded in agreement. At that moment, the nurse stepped in with blankets. Each took one and found a place on the floor or in a chair to get some rest. They all knew that once Lizzie woke up, they would all start the emotional roller coaster all over again.
******
Miranda woke up in the middle of the night. As she looked around, she saw Jo and Sam huddled against each other, but she noticed Gordo was no longer with them.
Getting up quietly, so she would not disturb Lizzie's parents, she went to look for her friend. Walking down the hall, she looked in each room. Finally, she came to the last on at the end of the hallway. Peeking inside, she saw Gordo sitting silently by a small and very pale Lizzie. "Hey." She whispered.
Gordo was startled out of his thoughts as he looked up to see Miranda staring at him. "Hey." He replied back. "She looks so frail."
Miranda walked over and sat down on the other side of Lizzie. She looked at Gordo and nodded her agreement. "Better not let her hear you call her 'frail'. She will have your head on a platter. You heard the doctor, she is going to be okay, barring no complications from the surgery."
"Miranda?" Gordo began, "How do you think Lizzie is going to take the news?"
Miranda remained quiet. She knew what he was really asking was if she thought Lizzie would blame him for this. "I don't know." She said quietly. "I know that Lizzie has talked to me in the past about wanting a family. She always joked about having the 2.3 kids. I think it will be a blow to her at first, but she will eventually come around. We just have to make her understand that there are always other options. Just because she can't have children naturally, doesn't mean she will never be a mommy. There is always adoption."
Gordo sat there a moment. "You know I want to marry her don't you?" he asked.
Miranda smiled. "I have always known that Gordo."
Gordo and Miranda's conversation was interrupted by a low moan. They looked over at Lizzie as she stirred in her sleep. "Mom." She called.
Gordo leaned down and whispered, "Shh. It's okay. You are safe now. You just lie there and get some more sleep. You need to regain your strength."
"Gordo?" she whispered.
"Yeah sweetie, its me." Reaching down, he took her hand in his. He leaned down and kissed it softly. "Are you in pain?"
Lizzie rolled her eyes trying to get the pounding in her head to stop. "A little. Where are we?" she asked.
"You're the in the hospital." Miranda answered.
"Miranda?" Lizzie called. "I guess you made it after all. Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me Lizzie. You just need to get well." Miranda replied.
"Is mom and dad here?" she asked.
Miranda looked over at Gordo. He nodded knowing that Lizzie would want to see her mom as soon as possible. "Yeah they are. You just wait, and I will go get them for you."
When Miranda left, Lizzie looked over at Gordo and asked weakly, "What is the matter?"
Gordo smiled at her. Love shinning brightly in his eyes. "I was just thinking of how close I came to losing you. I never want to feel that way again. I love you Lizzie. I want you to know that and no matter what, I will always love you. Do you understand me?"
"I love you to Gordo." Lizzie said. Her eyes were beginning to close. "I am so tired." She muttered.
"Close you eyes and get some rest. Your mom and dad will be here once you wake up." He urged.
"No." she answered, "I want to see mom. She has to know that I am okay."
"I do know that you are okay honey." Came the soft whisper of her mom. "I love you so much. I never want you to scare me like this again. Is that a deal?"
"Deal." Came the exhausted. "I love you mom."
"I love you too honey. Now, you need to get some sleep. You want to get your strength back soon." Jo said fighting hard not to cry. She had been there each time Lizzie had been sick as a child. She worried about her each time she had a cold, a upset stomach, the chicken pox, every child hood sickness, she had always been able to kiss it and make it better, but she knew that no matter how badly she wanted to kiss Lizzie and tell her everything was going to be okay, she knew that it would not be. Lizzie was going to have to face this battle and come to terms with tragic events that would now forever change her life.
She leaned in and kissed Lizzie on the forehead. "I love you honey."
"Love you too mom." Lizzie muttered as she drifted off into a dreamless slumber.
Sam walked over and wrapped Jo in a hug. "How are we going to tell her?" she asked. "How will she ever be able to deal with all of this? She is still so young."
"Lizzie is strong sweetie." Sam replied. "She will find it within herself to come to terms with all of this. You need to have faith in our daughter."
"I guess we don't have a choice." Jo answered.
*******
The sun was shining brightly through the window in Lizzie's room. Opening her eyes, she looked around the room. Gordo had fallen asleep with his head on her bed. She smiled when she felt his hand gripping hers. Her mom was on the other side of the bed. She was clutching Lizzie's other hand. When she turned her head, she saw Miranda asleep in a chair, and her head was resting on her dad's shoulder.
With her head beginning to clear from the anesthesia, Lizzie realized that she was in pain. Her head hurt, her side was on fire, and her lower abdomen felt heavy and bloated. To make things worse, she had to go to the bathroom.
Lizzie shifted her hips to make herself more comfortable, but the moment she moved, she had to stifle a scream. The agony in her hips was unbearable.
Lizzie gripped Gordo's hand so tight; he thought she was going to break it. "Lizzie?" he asked. "What's wrong honey? Are you in pain?" The look that Lizzie gave him made him rethink his next question. "Sorry." He said, "Of course you are. Hang on. I will get a nurse."
Lizzie breathed through the pain as Gordo ran to get help. Jo looked up into her daughter's pain filled eyes and squeezed her hand. "Mom," she gasped, "Why do I hurt so much?"
Jo looked at her frail daughter and her eyes filled with tears. "You are going to be okay honey. You have a few broken bones. Try not to move okay?"
Lizzie nodded in understanding. That would explain why she felt like she was on fire. 'God Gordo,' she thought, 'please hurry.' Lizzie closed her eyes and tried to think of something else, anything that would take away the pain she was in. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Joe reached over and wiped them away. "Shh honey, it's going to be okay. Just hang on a little longer." Looking over at Sam, she snapped, "Go see what is taking so long."
Sam nodded and walked toward the door. He was reaching for the door when Gordo came rushing in with a nurse. "Finally." Sam yelled, "What is taking you people so long? Can't you see my daughter is in pain?"
The nurse didn't reply. She knew the stress of the situation was causing short fuses. She just walked over to Lizzie and checked the monitors. Heart rate was a little high; blood pressure was a little elevated. All of this was normal under the circumstances. "If you could all please step outside, I need to check Lizzie."
Jo started to protest, but the desperate pleas from Lizzie stopped her cold. "Please Mom. Let her do whatever she needs to do. I just need the pain to stop."
Jo nodded and ushered everyone out of the room. "If you need me honey, I will be right outside."
Lizzie watched her leave. Once the door closed, she no longer felt like being strong. Lizzie began to cry. "Okay honey," the nurse, "I am going to give you something for the pain, but first, I need to check your temperature." Lizzie nodded in agreement. The nurse inserted the thermometer and checked Lizzie's pulse rate. By the time the nurse was finished taking her temperature, cold sweat was running down Lizzie face.
"God please." Lizzie croaked.
Walking over to Lizzie's IV, the nurse injected it with what Lizzie would consider a miracle drug. "This will take effect in just a few minutes." The nurse said, "You hang in there okay? You are a very brave young lady. I don't know what I would do if I were in the same situation as you. I don't think I could stand it if I could never have children."
Lizzie's eyes widened in shock, "What are you talking about?"
The nurse looked over at Lizzie and realized her mistake. "Oh God." She said, "I thought they told you."
Lizzie could feel the fuzziness of the drugs beginning to dull her senses. She had to make sure she heard the nurse correctly. Blinking several times, she asked. "Told me what?"
"Nothing dear." The nurse answered, "You just lay back and relax. I will send your family back in."
"No." she said, "You tell me what you meant."
"Honey please. You don't need to get upset. You just need to go to sleep. Let the drugs take over now."
Lizzie fought against the effects of the drugs even harder. "NO!" she yelled. "You tell me what you meant."
*****
Jo, Sam, Miranda and Gordo all paced outside Lizzie's room waiting anxiously for the nurse to finish, so they could all go in and check to make sure Lizzie was okay. Suddenly, there was an anguished scream from inside Lizzie's room.
They all ran in. What they saw scared them almost as bad as seeing Lizzie unconscious. She was crying and shaking uncontrollably. The nurse was sitting beside her trying her best to comfort her, but Lizzie didn't want her anywhere near her. "What did you do to her?" Jo screamed as she ran to Lizzie's side. Reaching down, she gathered her distraught daughter into her arms.
Getting off the bed, the nurse hung her head. "I'm sorry, I thought she knew already."
"Thought she knew what?" Jo asked. Then she looked at Lizzie. The anguish in her eyes told Jo everything she needed to know. "Oh God. How could you?" she asked.
"Why?" Lizzie cried, "Why?"
"Honey, it's going to be okay. You are strong. You can get through this." Jo soothed.
Sam walked over to the nurse. "I think you should leave."
Lizzie was loosing the battle with the drugs. Her fighting against her mom was less. Slowly she began to settle down. Jo leaned into Lizzie and whispered, "Honey, there is still a lot of life in you. You will still get married and adopt children all of your own. You can still have a normal life."
"No ones going to love me." She muttered, "I'm broken." With that, Lizzie slipped into a drug-induced sleep.