Chapter 6: Never Feel
The icy bitter November wind stung Rogue's and Kitty's faces as Rogue flew them both across Bayville towards Bayville cemetery where Gabrielle LeBeau was buried. Kitty Pryde had insisted on coming along with Rogue, saying it was too late at night to go scouting around in cemeteries by herself.
They landed roughly just inside of the gates, looking around, Rogue could barely remember where Gabrielle was buried. "I…don't remember where the grave is," Rogue sighed as she let go of Kitty under the arms, where she'd been holding her.
"Oh great," Kitty chattered, it was so cold out, now it was three-forty-five am in the morning, and the winds had picked up outside. The cold was biting making their exposed skin smart like raw wounds.
Rogue pulled a flashlight out of her pocket and turned it on, shining it across the gravestones one by one, "we're looking for a small marble one," she said.
Kitty nodded, walking beside Rogue, "y'know…Cemeteries give me the heebie jeebies," she whispered, shivering, she pulled a flashlight out of her own pocket, tried turning it on but it didn't go on straight away, she tapped it furiously, "ugh, stupid thing," she muttered, a beam of light cut across the dark grass before them, she swung the flashlight in the directions of nearby graves, catching a large stone angel in the beam, she jumped, for one moment, thinking it was a person.
"Will you relax?!" Rogue hissed, but she too, felt about as nervous as Kitty did. She'd certainly never been in a cemetery after midnight in such cold conditions. She wasn't sure if the cold feeling she had inside was fear or just the November chills at the back of her neck. She pressed on.
Kitty grabbed onto Rogue's arm just for confirmation that her friend was there, she held on to her, as they walked. They listened closely, the rustling of the long grass was loud in the wind, and a few flecks or rain spattered down on them from above.
"Remy!" Rogue called out, looking around hopefully.
"You can't shout in a cemetery!" Kitty hissed, "its disrespectful!"
"Shut up!" Rogue rolled her eyes, "they're dead, they
won't mind…" she cut across the dark with her flashlight, "god, where is this
fucking grave…I've been here before I should know…"
A flash of brown cut in front
of the flashlight and Rogue let out a shriek, the sound of flapping wings beat
against the air, both girls jumped and grabbed onto each other.
"Its an owl…" Kitty was gasping for breath, "Just an owl…" she took a deep breath, "jesus…I nearly had a heart attack…" she swallowed.
"Come on, Remy, where are you?!" Rogue called out to the empty graveyard, "We know you're here…you wouldn't leave without sayin' good bye to Gabrielle…"
Kitty found it strange that Rogue was talking to the graveyard when there was absolutely no evidence of Remy's presence there at all.
"Whatever happened in your bedroom, Remy, we just want to know the answer, we're not here to blame you, we just want to know!" Rogue called out softly, looking around, she hoped for an answer, she hoped to smell the familiar smell of smoke from his cigarette, or the scent of faded cologne from his coat. She hoped to hear his soft breathing, or see the fiery glint in those glowing red eyes of his.
"I don't think he's here, Rogue," Kitty admitted, she still held onto Rogue's arm, she almost tripped over a headstone and let out a gasp, she looked down, "stupid fucking headstones!" Kitty gasped, her toe stubbed against it and hurt painfully.
"Sssh, you'll disrespect the dead," Rogue remarked, her voice strange, "I think we're close by now…" Rogue glanced over her shoulder, she could see the gates away back there, and she remembered having been able to see Remy from the other side of the gates when he'd been in here visiting Gabrielle on their date.
Kitty shone her light onto a small marble headstone, "is that it?" she asked softly.
Rogue bent down towards the gravestone, "Yes…" she whispered, the name Gabrielle LeBeau was engraved in flourished letters, she reached over and touched the headstone, even through her thin cotton gloves she could feel the cold of the marble. It chilled her.
Kitty looked around, "Well…no sign of Remy," she shone the flashlight around hoping to see some sign of the young man, but there was no one around except themselves.
Rogue knelt down beside the gravestone, "I was so sure he'd come here…" she felt tears pierce her eyes.
Kitty shone her flashlight on the headstone, studying it, "hmm…looks like he knew you'd know that too…" she reached over to it and picked up an object that had been lying on the grass just in front of it, it had been in the shadow until the light had hit it, Rogue had not noticed it sitting there.
Rogue looked at Kitty, "what is it?" she asked curiously.
Kitty held the small flashlight between her teeth, "it's a box," she said, muffled.
"Open it…" Rogue whispered, she held the flashlight towards Kitty's hands.
Kitty opened the small velvet box, inside was a silver ring, with a Citrine gemstone directly in the centre, "it's a ring…a mans ring…" she took it out of the box and examined it. It looked almost brand new, as if it had hardly been worn, or perhaps never having been worn at all. The box even seemed to look new.
"Oh my god…" the tears broke free of Rogue's eyes as she recognised it at once, it was the ring she'd given Remy on their date, the yellow Gemstone, the Citrine was his birthstone. Although it had been a birthday present, Rogue had wanted the ring to be almost like a commitment ring, something he could wear that showed his dedication to her. And here it was, sitting in Kitty Pryde's open palm, "I gave him that for his birthday," she whispered, she took the ring from Kitty, "He…he left it here…"
Kitty tried to find an explanation, "Maybe he didn't leave it, maybe he dropped it…"
"No, he had put it on – he's taken it off and put it back in the box!" Rogue wailed, tears pouring, "don't you know what this means!?!" she asked.
"No…" Kitty looked at Rogue curiously.
"It means he's never coming back! He gave me my gift back! It's like you said when you give an important gift back to someone its over!" Rogue tried to wipe her tears furiously.
"Oh come on, I doubt he's gone for good, he loves you!" Kitty said.
Rogue looked at the ring, but soon found herself staring into space, "this means he did murder Jared, Kitty…he wouldn't have left if he hadn't…he's going on the run…" she whispered, "it's the only reason he'd have to go…without me…"
Kitty swallowed, it was almost so hard to believe that Remy could kill someone, but for him to just abandon Rogue in this way was even harder to believe, after all the effort he'd put in to get Rogue back, only to run off now?
Rogue collapsed against the headstone in tears, "How could he?" she sobbed.
"Maybe it was an accident."
"If it was he'd have stayed to try and explain," Rogue threw the ring into a patch of grass where it would be lost forever, "Remy, you fool…" she sobbed, "You stupid fucking asshole," she sobbed.
Kitty stood watching Rogue for a time, "C'mon…lets go home…"
Rogue looked around the silent cemetery – silent that was except for the sound of the grass rustling in the wind, and the wind howling through the headstones in a melancholy sad wail.
It took some time for Rogue to pull herself together and fly them both back to the mansion, Professor Xavier was waiting for them in the Foyer when they arrived.
"Uhm…we can explain," Kitty said. Both girls had hoped the Professor would have not been back by the time they had arrived, but it seemed their luck was out. Professor Xavier looked grim.
"No we can't," Rogue said, "I made her go…I wanted to go to look for Remy…" she looked away, her cheeks still stained with tears. "but he's gone."
"We all realise this, Rogue," Professor Xavier sighed, "it appears as if Remy may be responsible for Jared's death…"
Rogue felt cold all over hearing those words, and it wasn't just hearing them that left her icy inside, but the fact that she no longer had the want to defend Remy. She looked towards the floor, knowing that everything really was over. Remy wasn't coming back this time. He'd committed murder. The reason why, perhaps because he'd harmed Rogue, or maybe Jared had just gotten on his bad side, they might never know for sure. All they knew was, the explosion had to have been caused by Remy, and Remy really didn't accidentally cause explosions – unless you counted the one in the tunnels the previous month.
"He did," she sighed, "He talked about killing Jared once before…when he hurt Kitty…but none of us took him seriously…" Rogue chewed her lip, a stray tear escaped and she wiped it away just as quickly as it came.
Professor Xavier sighed, "then I must call to get the police involved, Rogue. Are you willing to make an official statement to what Remy said about killing Jared?" Professor Xavier seemed extremely upset, the fact of having just lost a student to death finally sinking in.
Rogue gave a vague nod, her bottom lip trembling.
Kitty touched Rogue's arm, "You sure you want to do that…we don't even have any proof, Rogue…he said he'd kill him, but you say stupid things like that all the time," she reminded.
"Is Jared's dead body not proof enough, is the ring he left in the cemetery not proof enough?" Rogue swallowed her tears, "he killed Jared, Kitty."
Kitty looked at Rogue, only hours ago Rogue had been defending Remy to this accusation, and now she herself was making it, it didn't seem right.
Rogue wandered over to the window and looked outside, memories of Remy and all he'd brought to her life searing in and out of her painfully, this time she didn't allow herself the luxury of tears. She hardened herself to it and any thoughts of him. Telling herself she'd never feel for him again.
The End (Yes, Really. The series is ending…now.)