Hi guys! Just thought I'd try my hand at some Harry Potter. This is, of
course, a parody, so be prepared for Harry bashing!!!!!
Whoops, there goes that weird Potter Boy!
Chapter 1 - What the?!
*This story begins when a bunch of bratty, weird kids are accepted into 'The Loser Academy For Losers Who need Training In The Art Of . . . . . um . . . . . Being A Loser'. But of course, you would know it as Hogwarts. Well . . um . . . . from then on it gets a bit . . . . well . . . . wacky. Don't worry, you'll see what I mean!*
*So now we travel to the Castle, where Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are all taking part in a interesting, intelligent conversation*
Ron: I'm telling you, the red one is called Tinki-Winki!
Harry: No, I'm quite sure it's La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
*Well . . . . I thought it was intelligent!*
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: *speaking very fast* You're both wrong! Because of my incredibly large and empty brain, I really must insist that the scarlet teletubie is known as Dipsy.
*Harry and Ron both stare at her and try to work out what she just said. Ginny rolls her eyes and breaks the silence*
Ginny: She recons that the Red one is Dipsy.
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ginny: WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP AND CUT IT OUT!!!!!!
Hermione+Ron+Harry: *whimper*
Ginny: Thank god for that!
Hermione: *muttering under her breath* I still think it was Dipsy.
Harry: Um . . . I'm going to go drink something really strong, to forget that I have idiot friends that I watch Teletubies and Blues Clues with.
Ron: *Looks up from knitting a sweater* Ok.
*Harry leaves, forgetting his glasses*
Ginny: HARRY, WAIT, YOU FORGOT YOUR-
*Ron gets up and stuffs his knitting down Ginny's throat*
Ginny: *gag* *choke*
Ron: heh, heh, heh, look, she's turning purple!
Hermione: Uh . . . is she meant to be purple?
Ron: *shrugs* I dunno. Hermione: *giggle* Look, she's switching!
Ron: Uh . . . maybe we should get someone in here to look at her . . .
*Hermione and Ron look at each other*
Together: Nah!!!
*Dobby enters and catches sight of Harry's glasses. He climes over Ginny's twitching form to pounce on them*
Dobby: *stroking Harry's glasses* My preciousssss . . . we finally has it my precious . . . finally has it . . .
*Meanwhile . . . on Middle earth*
Gollum: *dancing around in a dirty pillow case* Frodo Baggins is surely a great wizard, er, I mean hobbit! Yeah, that's right, hobbit!
Frodo: *Watching Gollum dance* So when do you think he'll snap out of it?
Sam: *also watching Gollum* I'd give it another week.
Frodo: *smirking* More like a month.
Sam: Week.
Frodo: Month.
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
*Um . . . hehehe . . . maybe we should get back to Hogwarts*
*Harry walks back in again, and sees Dobby stroking his glasses*
Harry: Hey!!!
Dobby: Oh, sssshit!
*Harry chases Dobby around the room with a broom*
Harry: I WANT MY GLASSES!!!
Dobby: He can't have them, precious!! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't!
Ron: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione: *giggle* Ohh, Ron said a rude word!!!!!!!!
*Ron hits Hermione over the head with a frying pan*
Harry:*pushes Dobby out the window* Heh, heh, heh, that will teach the stupid fur ball to steal MY glasses! Hey . . . wait a second . . . HE STILL HAS MY GLASSES!!!!!
*Harry jumps out the window after Dobby*
*THUMP*
Ron: *looks out of window* HI HARRY!!! HARRY, WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?! YOU REALLY HAVE TO SHOW ME THAT NEAT TRICK WHERE YOUR NECK LOOKS LIKE ITS BROK- Oh . . . I understand now . . .
Hermione: Understand what?
Ron: *tearfully* Why he's . . . not moving, or answering me . . .
Hermione: Why?
Ron:*brightly* Because he's asleep!
Hermione: *pretending that she understands what Ron is saying when she doesn't have a clue* Ohhh!!! Why didn't I think of . . . . . . that . . . . .
Ron: *starts to knit a new sweater* You didn't think of that because I am a better thinker then you!
Hermione: *scratches head* That can't be right . . .
Ron: Well it is.
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
*Um . . . well . . . while they are fighting over who is smarter, lets take a look at middle earth*
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
*EEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!! Well, maybe we should check on these two again later*
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Harry: WILL YOU GUY'S CUT IT OU-
*Ron shoves his knitting down Harry's throat, but it falls through him*
Hermione: AHHH, A GHO-
*Ron picks up his knitting and shoves it down Hermione's throat. Hermione gags and falls to the floor*
Ron: *disappointed* Aw, she didn't turn purple!
Harry: That's a very interesting shade of green though.
Ron: Uh, Harry, you're meant to be a sleep downstairs. *his face lights up* Did you wake up then?
Harry: I wasn't asleep, you moron, I was dead!
Ron: *confused* Did you die in your sleep?
Harry: *shakes head* Forget it.
Ron: Forget what, Harry?
Harry: Ron?
Ron: Yes Harry?
Harry: SHUT UP!!!!!
Ron: *happily* Yes Harry.
*Harry seizes a lamp and tries to hit himself with it, but it goes right through him*
Ron: Ohh, what a neat trick, let me try!
*Ron grabs the lamp and hits himself, falling unconscious*
Harry: *grinning* Hey, I think I'm gonna enjoy being a ghost after all!
Ron: *waking up* Harry?! Where are you, Harry?!
Harry: *rolling his eyes* or not.
To be continued . . . .
Will Harry ever work out why Ron has no brain?
Will Ginny and Hermione ever wake up from their knitting induced comas?
Will Ron ever find the gum that is lost in the vortex that is his hair?!
Find out next time, on 'Whoops, there goes that weird Potter Boy!'
Be sure to read the next chapter: A visit from Voldi'.
Whoops, there goes that weird Potter Boy!
Chapter 1 - What the?!
*This story begins when a bunch of bratty, weird kids are accepted into 'The Loser Academy For Losers Who need Training In The Art Of . . . . . um . . . . . Being A Loser'. But of course, you would know it as Hogwarts. Well . . um . . . . from then on it gets a bit . . . . well . . . . wacky. Don't worry, you'll see what I mean!*
*So now we travel to the Castle, where Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are all taking part in a interesting, intelligent conversation*
Ron: I'm telling you, the red one is called Tinki-Winki!
Harry: No, I'm quite sure it's La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
*Well . . . . I thought it was intelligent!*
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: *speaking very fast* You're both wrong! Because of my incredibly large and empty brain, I really must insist that the scarlet teletubie is known as Dipsy.
*Harry and Ron both stare at her and try to work out what she just said. Ginny rolls her eyes and breaks the silence*
Ginny: She recons that the Red one is Dipsy.
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ron: Tinki-Winki!
Harry: La-la!
Hermione: Dipsy!
Ginny: WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP AND CUT IT OUT!!!!!!
Hermione+Ron+Harry: *whimper*
Ginny: Thank god for that!
Hermione: *muttering under her breath* I still think it was Dipsy.
Harry: Um . . . I'm going to go drink something really strong, to forget that I have idiot friends that I watch Teletubies and Blues Clues with.
Ron: *Looks up from knitting a sweater* Ok.
*Harry leaves, forgetting his glasses*
Ginny: HARRY, WAIT, YOU FORGOT YOUR-
*Ron gets up and stuffs his knitting down Ginny's throat*
Ginny: *gag* *choke*
Ron: heh, heh, heh, look, she's turning purple!
Hermione: Uh . . . is she meant to be purple?
Ron: *shrugs* I dunno. Hermione: *giggle* Look, she's switching!
Ron: Uh . . . maybe we should get someone in here to look at her . . .
*Hermione and Ron look at each other*
Together: Nah!!!
*Dobby enters and catches sight of Harry's glasses. He climes over Ginny's twitching form to pounce on them*
Dobby: *stroking Harry's glasses* My preciousssss . . . we finally has it my precious . . . finally has it . . .
*Meanwhile . . . on Middle earth*
Gollum: *dancing around in a dirty pillow case* Frodo Baggins is surely a great wizard, er, I mean hobbit! Yeah, that's right, hobbit!
Frodo: *Watching Gollum dance* So when do you think he'll snap out of it?
Sam: *also watching Gollum* I'd give it another week.
Frodo: *smirking* More like a month.
Sam: Week.
Frodo: Month.
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
*Um . . . hehehe . . . maybe we should get back to Hogwarts*
*Harry walks back in again, and sees Dobby stroking his glasses*
Harry: Hey!!!
Dobby: Oh, sssshit!
*Harry chases Dobby around the room with a broom*
Harry: I WANT MY GLASSES!!!
Dobby: He can't have them, precious!! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't! Can't!
Ron: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione: *giggle* Ohh, Ron said a rude word!!!!!!!!
*Ron hits Hermione over the head with a frying pan*
Harry:*pushes Dobby out the window* Heh, heh, heh, that will teach the stupid fur ball to steal MY glasses! Hey . . . wait a second . . . HE STILL HAS MY GLASSES!!!!!
*Harry jumps out the window after Dobby*
*THUMP*
Ron: *looks out of window* HI HARRY!!! HARRY, WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?! YOU REALLY HAVE TO SHOW ME THAT NEAT TRICK WHERE YOUR NECK LOOKS LIKE ITS BROK- Oh . . . I understand now . . .
Hermione: Understand what?
Ron: *tearfully* Why he's . . . not moving, or answering me . . .
Hermione: Why?
Ron:*brightly* Because he's asleep!
Hermione: *pretending that she understands what Ron is saying when she doesn't have a clue* Ohhh!!! Why didn't I think of . . . . . . that . . . . .
Ron: *starts to knit a new sweater* You didn't think of that because I am a better thinker then you!
Hermione: *scratches head* That can't be right . . .
Ron: Well it is.
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
*Um . . . well . . . while they are fighting over who is smarter, lets take a look at middle earth*
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
Sam: Week!
Frodo: Month!
*EEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!! Well, maybe we should check on these two again later*
Hermione: Is not!
Ron: Is to!
Harry: WILL YOU GUY'S CUT IT OU-
*Ron shoves his knitting down Harry's throat, but it falls through him*
Hermione: AHHH, A GHO-
*Ron picks up his knitting and shoves it down Hermione's throat. Hermione gags and falls to the floor*
Ron: *disappointed* Aw, she didn't turn purple!
Harry: That's a very interesting shade of green though.
Ron: Uh, Harry, you're meant to be a sleep downstairs. *his face lights up* Did you wake up then?
Harry: I wasn't asleep, you moron, I was dead!
Ron: *confused* Did you die in your sleep?
Harry: *shakes head* Forget it.
Ron: Forget what, Harry?
Harry: Ron?
Ron: Yes Harry?
Harry: SHUT UP!!!!!
Ron: *happily* Yes Harry.
*Harry seizes a lamp and tries to hit himself with it, but it goes right through him*
Ron: Ohh, what a neat trick, let me try!
*Ron grabs the lamp and hits himself, falling unconscious*
Harry: *grinning* Hey, I think I'm gonna enjoy being a ghost after all!
Ron: *waking up* Harry?! Where are you, Harry?!
Harry: *rolling his eyes* or not.
To be continued . . . .
Will Harry ever work out why Ron has no brain?
Will Ginny and Hermione ever wake up from their knitting induced comas?
Will Ron ever find the gum that is lost in the vortex that is his hair?!
Find out next time, on 'Whoops, there goes that weird Potter Boy!'
Be sure to read the next chapter: A visit from Voldi'.