Story Title: The Evil
Chapter Title: The Horror at Ollivanders
By: Beeb Maxwell and Marie Felton
Rating: PG-13 (for many, many things.hehehe.)
Warnings: Cursing, Crude humor, needless bashing of characters, utter
stupidity. Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter and most of the other crap that pops up in here. I own myself (Beeb), and all my evil accessories, and some goes
for Marie. We do own the plot.
Both: Hi! This is Junior Reporters, Marie Felton and Beeb Maxwell, here at Diagon Alley!
Beeb: I'm a 15-year-old Freshman and an Aries, not to mention an evil super genius with a big mouth and sick sense of humor. I'm addicted to Korn, porn, and Gundam Wing.
Marie: Actually, she's just scary.
Beeb: Oh, this is Marie. She likes her medication.
Marie: (Twitches in a delighted manner.) I need coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. COFFEE!! I'm.er.14.coffee!!.um.am a.Gemini. Coffee. Where's my coffee damn it!!
Beeb: Hehehe.as you can see, we probably both belong in happy acres, but it's sooo much more fun out here in the free world where we can torment people with our superior intelligence and Ryoko-like super powers.
Marie: Ah, crap. I burned my tongue on this stupid coffee. Oh no. I'm sorry coffee, I didn't mean it!!!
Beeb: Yes, frightening, is it not? Well, enough of that, on to the interviewing! First we'll pay Mr. Ollivander's a visit!
Marie: Coffee!!
The girls are now to be seen creeping along the outer wall of Ollivanders shop, Mission Impossible 2 style, with Marie holding a cup of coffee, but twitching so badly that she dumped most of it. She was also occasionally muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "coffee".
Meanwhile Beeb is opening the door to Ollivanders shop, thinking innocently of what sort of wand she might get. Suddenly, she notices the audience/cameraman/you, the reader, and grins hugely.
Beeb: Welcome back! We are now at Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.! Now where's our proprieter. (looks around in a devious fashion.) Oh, THERE he is! (spots him at about the same time he spots her. He suddenly curls into a fetal posistion and slowly backs into a corner, his face a mask of horror.)
Ollivander: The Evil. I can feel it.Eeevil.
Beeb: (concerned) Mr. Ollivander, are you all right? Would you like a dog biscuit? (pulls one out of her pocket and tries to coax him out of the corner with it.)
Ollivander: (eyes get big) I smell (sniff, sniff).I smell (sniff, sniff).I smell (sniff, sniff). COFFEEEE!!!! (Pounces on Marie and tries to pry the nearly empty coffee cup from her hands; she gets a mildly surprised look on her face and then begins to fight like a wild.er.cat.)
Beeb: (watches them wrestle for upwards of half an hour, occasionally sighing and checking her watch. Finally, she storms over and pulls them apart angrily.) Marie complys. Beeb offers said coffee cup to Ollivander.) Okay, Ollivander! If you give us wands, free of charge, you can have the coffee and we'll let you live. (Ollivander looks happy.)
Marie: (Makes complaining noises.)
Beeb: (Mutters to her out of the side of her mouth) If you shut up, I'll give you a Mr. Coffee for Christmas.
Marie: Yay! (Pumps her fists into the air)
Three hours later and after vast destruction to Ollivanders shop, the girls left happily with brand new (actually, their first ever) wands.
Ollivander: (standing amidst the rubble. He wipes his sleeve across his forehead.) Whew! Their gone! Finally, their gone!
Beeb and Marie: (Burst into the shop.)
Marie: Hey, we forgot to interview you!
Ollivander: (Drops to his knees and throws his head back.) Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter Title: The Horror at Ollivanders
By: Beeb Maxwell and Marie Felton
Rating: PG-13 (for many, many things.hehehe.)
Warnings: Cursing, Crude humor, needless bashing of characters, utter
stupidity. Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter and most of the other crap that pops up in here. I own myself (Beeb), and all my evil accessories, and some goes
for Marie. We do own the plot.
Both: Hi! This is Junior Reporters, Marie Felton and Beeb Maxwell, here at Diagon Alley!
Beeb: I'm a 15-year-old Freshman and an Aries, not to mention an evil super genius with a big mouth and sick sense of humor. I'm addicted to Korn, porn, and Gundam Wing.
Marie: Actually, she's just scary.
Beeb: Oh, this is Marie. She likes her medication.
Marie: (Twitches in a delighted manner.) I need coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. COFFEE!! I'm.er.14.coffee!!.um.am a.Gemini. Coffee. Where's my coffee damn it!!
Beeb: Hehehe.as you can see, we probably both belong in happy acres, but it's sooo much more fun out here in the free world where we can torment people with our superior intelligence and Ryoko-like super powers.
Marie: Ah, crap. I burned my tongue on this stupid coffee. Oh no. I'm sorry coffee, I didn't mean it!!!
Beeb: Yes, frightening, is it not? Well, enough of that, on to the interviewing! First we'll pay Mr. Ollivander's a visit!
Marie: Coffee!!
The girls are now to be seen creeping along the outer wall of Ollivanders shop, Mission Impossible 2 style, with Marie holding a cup of coffee, but twitching so badly that she dumped most of it. She was also occasionally muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "coffee".
Meanwhile Beeb is opening the door to Ollivanders shop, thinking innocently of what sort of wand she might get. Suddenly, she notices the audience/cameraman/you, the reader, and grins hugely.
Beeb: Welcome back! We are now at Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.! Now where's our proprieter. (looks around in a devious fashion.) Oh, THERE he is! (spots him at about the same time he spots her. He suddenly curls into a fetal posistion and slowly backs into a corner, his face a mask of horror.)
Ollivander: The Evil. I can feel it.Eeevil.
Beeb: (concerned) Mr. Ollivander, are you all right? Would you like a dog biscuit? (pulls one out of her pocket and tries to coax him out of the corner with it.)
Ollivander: (eyes get big) I smell (sniff, sniff).I smell (sniff, sniff).I smell (sniff, sniff). COFFEEEE!!!! (Pounces on Marie and tries to pry the nearly empty coffee cup from her hands; she gets a mildly surprised look on her face and then begins to fight like a wild.er.cat.)
Beeb: (watches them wrestle for upwards of half an hour, occasionally sighing and checking her watch. Finally, she storms over and pulls them apart angrily.) Marie complys. Beeb offers said coffee cup to Ollivander.) Okay, Ollivander! If you give us wands, free of charge, you can have the coffee and we'll let you live. (Ollivander looks happy.)
Marie: (Makes complaining noises.)
Beeb: (Mutters to her out of the side of her mouth) If you shut up, I'll give you a Mr. Coffee for Christmas.
Marie: Yay! (Pumps her fists into the air)
Three hours later and after vast destruction to Ollivanders shop, the girls left happily with brand new (actually, their first ever) wands.
Ollivander: (standing amidst the rubble. He wipes his sleeve across his forehead.) Whew! Their gone! Finally, their gone!
Beeb and Marie: (Burst into the shop.)
Marie: Hey, we forgot to interview you!
Ollivander: (Drops to his knees and throws his head back.) Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!