Doubt



Sydney woke up the next morning in Vaughn's arms and figured he must have moved during the night.

"Morning," Vaughn greeted her, nibbling gently on her ear.

"Hey," Sydney said, squirming to get her ear out of reach as his teeth were tickling her. She giggled when he finally left her ear alone and nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "Silly," she said with a laugh.

Vaughn chuckled and held her tighter. He grasped one of Sydney's hands and thread his fingers through hers. "I love waking up next to you."

Sydney swallowed hard and bit her lip as she suddenly thought of Sark. She put on a fake smile and flipped over onto her back to look up at Vaughn. Deliberately avoiding a 'me too,' she simply kissed him then said she had to get ready for work.

He groaned and she kissed him again, then got up from the bed and made her way to the bathroom to take a shower. She eyed herself in the mirror as she waited for the water to heat up and frowned at the lines of fatigue under her eyes. She had gotten next to no sleep because she had lain awake thinking of Sark.

It scared her. How much she craved him. She bit her lip then stepped into the shower. Her body was immediately filled with warmth and she found herself, once again, thinking of Sark. She shook her head and tried to think of something else.

Mom.

She was suddenly thinking about her mother in Panama trying to trap Sloane. She wondered if everything had gone according to plan and if her mother was safe.

But a feeling of dread swept over her.

If everything had gone according to plan, that should have meant that Sloane had been captured and she should have already received a call telling her so. Since she hadn't, she found herself worried that her mother had been compromised.

She finished her shower quickly, upset that she was now worried sick about her mother. Her stomach twisted into a tight knot as she realized that her mother could quite possibly be dead. Her last conversation with her mother echoed in her mind.

"I wanted to see you because...it's going to be dangerous, setting this trap. I hope it goes well, but there's no guarantee. So whatever happens, there's something I need you to...know." A pause. "Sydney, I love you."

"Mom..."

"You don't have to say anything. I'm pretty sure I haven't...earned...very much, and that's okay. It was just something I needed to say." Tears had formed in her eyes.

"Mom, you're coming back." The look on Sydney's face was determined and her mouth had formed into something of a smile. She held back her tears.

"I hope so." Irina smiled as she put her hand on the glass and Sydney did so as well. Sydney was able to relax as she emitted a nervous, breathy laugh. Almost as soon as Irina had placed her hand on the glass, she removed it, biting her lip as she did so, as if to make it clear to Sydney that she could be gone faster than Sydney could register what had happened.

Sydney felt a tear form in her eye and she suddenly pounded the tile wall with her fist. The sound produced was a deep thud and carried with it an echo.

I should have told her I loved her.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She brushed and blow-dried her hair quickly then got dressed.

She made her way to the kitchen and spotted Vaughn. They shared a kiss that was slightly off-target as Vaughn brushed past her, making his way to the bathroom to shower. Sydney saw Will and gave him a smile as he went to raid the refrigerator.

"How are things going with Francie?" she asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools.

Will closed the door of the refrigerator and set a container of orange juice on the counter. "It's going great," he said, a grin plastered on his face. "I mean, I'm really enjoying being with her."

"I'm so glad," Sydney said, smiling as well.

Will grabbed a cup from the cupboard and set it down. "Want a glass?"

"Sure."

Will grabbed another glass and filled them both about three-quarters of the way with the orange juice, then handed one to Sydney. She thanked him and they smiled again. Will took a sip from his glass. "How are things with Vaughn?"

Sydney took a long drink of her juice before responding with a nod and a noncommittal statement. "Good."

"Yeah?"

Sydney nodded and felt compunction settle into her stomach. In truth, things were going well, but since she had realized she wanted Sark, she wasn't sure what was going on. She frowned slightly and decided to change the subject. "Did I tell you about my mother having to go to Panama?"

"No," Will said, shaking his head. "What's in Panama?"

"Sloane," Sydney said, then took another sip of her juice. Will nodded for Sydney to continue. "Mom and Dad worked out a plan to trap Sloane. I don't know if it was successful or not, but hopefully when I go into work today," she sighed, "there will be some good news." Her eyes darkened and she looked down, suddenly feeling the urge to cry again.

Will grasped her hand and rubbed his thumb gently over her knuckles. "I'm sure everything's fine, Syd," he said reassuringly.

Sydney looked up and forced a smile, her doe eyes glistening with tears. "I can only hope." She sighed and let go of Will's hand. "I have to get going."

"Okay," Will said, taking a drink from his glass. He followed Sydney to the door and gave her a hug, whispering to her again that things would be all right.

"See you later," Sydney said, forcing another smile.

Will kissed the top of her head. "Seriously, though," he said when he pulled back, "things will be okay."

Sydney nodded. "I still have my doubts. Besides," she said, patting his cheek, "it's your job as the best friend to reassure me no matter what the circumstances."

"I know," Will said sincerely, "but your mom's like you, isn't she? Brave super spy who can get out of any mess and hardly break a sweat."

Sydney smiled and blushed.

"She's fine, Syd. You have to believe that."

"Thanks." Sydney gave him a peck on the cheek, grabbed her coat and left.