Mario visited Luigi in the hospital an hour later. He had a black eye from
Peach throwing her make-up set at him. Just by looking at Mario, Luigi
could tell Peach had made Mario's life hell. Mario sat down by Luigi's
bedside and grumbled,
"You blew it. Peach knows and I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't burst in here with a bazooka, you @#%&#@$! I wouldn't mind blowing you to smithereens with a bazooka. Get me that for Christmas, okay?" Luigi brightened up and grinned wildly as he chirped,
"Bazooka bubble-gum? Santana Clothes hears you, Mario, up on the North Pole, yes?" Mario slammed his hand down on Luigi's head as he growled,
"You idiot! I'm talking about the bazooka machinery, not Bazooka bubble- gum! Besides, it's pronounced Santa Claus, not Santana Clothes! After all the time Mamasita spent trying to teach you how to pronounce it, you still don't know how to say it twenty-six years later! Moreover, there's no such thing as Santa Claus anyway!"
"HO HO HO HO HO HO! ON DASHER, ON DIXEN-"(A large fat guy in red and white comes crashing into a nearby tree. The guy squeaks as he splats down on the ground, "MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSS!") The two brothers looked out of the window and saw Peach below. She bellowed to the fat guy,
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" She loaded up her bazooka as the guy hiccupped and said day dreamily,
"I'm your true lover. Hic. You're so pretty. hic. Are you a heroin addict like me? Hic. Have you spent half of your life in jail like me? Hic. Are you still living with your mom like me? Hic. Don't tell me the answer. I know you're going, hic, to say yes, hic. We're a perfect match, hic. Make me your king, hic." Peach bellowed again,
"YOU'RE A &#@&#$!, YOU!" The guy replied,
"Oh, hic, but, hic, honey. I'm Santa, hic, Claus. You can't, hic, call me, hic, names, or otherwise, hic, I won't, hic, give you presents, hic." The next thing Mario and Luigi knew, Peach blasted up the guy with the bazooka.
"You were saying?" Luigi asked sweetly. Mario frowned and retorted,
"That guy was our neighbor, dumbbell. You know, that guy who wears pink underwear all the time and drinks five boxes of beer every Saturday night? The one everybody calls 'Mr. Pink' because he wears women's pink underwear? Well, guess we'll be going to his funeral." Luigi gave Mario a strange look before bellowing as he grabbed Mario's shirt collar,
"THAT GUY WAS MY BEST FRIEND, NO?! HE AND I HAD THE BEST TIME TOGETHER"- Mario, disgusted, pushes Luigi out the window- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"You blew it. Peach knows and I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't burst in here with a bazooka, you @#%&#@$! I wouldn't mind blowing you to smithereens with a bazooka. Get me that for Christmas, okay?" Luigi brightened up and grinned wildly as he chirped,
"Bazooka bubble-gum? Santana Clothes hears you, Mario, up on the North Pole, yes?" Mario slammed his hand down on Luigi's head as he growled,
"You idiot! I'm talking about the bazooka machinery, not Bazooka bubble- gum! Besides, it's pronounced Santa Claus, not Santana Clothes! After all the time Mamasita spent trying to teach you how to pronounce it, you still don't know how to say it twenty-six years later! Moreover, there's no such thing as Santa Claus anyway!"
"HO HO HO HO HO HO! ON DASHER, ON DIXEN-"(A large fat guy in red and white comes crashing into a nearby tree. The guy squeaks as he splats down on the ground, "MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSS!") The two brothers looked out of the window and saw Peach below. She bellowed to the fat guy,
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" She loaded up her bazooka as the guy hiccupped and said day dreamily,
"I'm your true lover. Hic. You're so pretty. hic. Are you a heroin addict like me? Hic. Have you spent half of your life in jail like me? Hic. Are you still living with your mom like me? Hic. Don't tell me the answer. I know you're going, hic, to say yes, hic. We're a perfect match, hic. Make me your king, hic." Peach bellowed again,
"YOU'RE A &#@&#$!, YOU!" The guy replied,
"Oh, hic, but, hic, honey. I'm Santa, hic, Claus. You can't, hic, call me, hic, names, or otherwise, hic, I won't, hic, give you presents, hic." The next thing Mario and Luigi knew, Peach blasted up the guy with the bazooka.
"You were saying?" Luigi asked sweetly. Mario frowned and retorted,
"That guy was our neighbor, dumbbell. You know, that guy who wears pink underwear all the time and drinks five boxes of beer every Saturday night? The one everybody calls 'Mr. Pink' because he wears women's pink underwear? Well, guess we'll be going to his funeral." Luigi gave Mario a strange look before bellowing as he grabbed Mario's shirt collar,
"THAT GUY WAS MY BEST FRIEND, NO?! HE AND I HAD THE BEST TIME TOGETHER"- Mario, disgusted, pushes Luigi out the window- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"