Heart to Heart



"Sydney Bristow?"

Sydney stood up immediately. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded. "Come with me."

Sydney glanced at Sark for a moment then began to follow the doctor. "How is she?" Sydney asked, trying to keep up with the doctor's long strides.

"She's doing well, she came out of surgery fine, and she's just resting now," the doctor said with a smile.

Sydney smiled back, feeling a little better.

"Here we are," the doctor said, using his arm to gesture Sydney into the room. She thanked him and he nodded and left.

"Sydney," Irina said softly, smiling, "come sit down."

Sydney felt her throat tighten, the nervousness and guilt coming back to her, but she went to the chair on the left side of her mother's bed all the same. She sat down slowly, suddenly feeling gooseflesh break out everywhere on her body. She shivered and her mother grasped her hand.

"Mom, I'm so sorry," Sydney whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

"Sydney," Irina said softly, letting go of her daughter's hand and wrapping her arm around Sydney's shoulders, pulling her closer.

Sydney moved the chair a bit closer and settled her head on her mother's shoulder, crying. She gently took her mother's left hand in both of hers, careful to avoid a great deal of movement because it was on her left that she had been injured.

Irina gently stroked her daughter's back and squeezed her shoulder. She rested her chin atop Sydney's head after pressing her lips to her hair.

"Sydney, I told you I don't blame you for this," Irina said softly, feeling tears form in her own eyes.

Sydney lifted her head to look at her mother. "I know, Mom, but it's not going to erase all this guilt I have inside of me."

Irina sighed and frowned, looking far into her daughter's eyes. "Okay, well, how about this," she began, raising one eyebrow and searching Sydney's glistening doe eyes, "we'll call it even."

Sydney raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth slightly, trying to make sense of what her mother had said. "What do you mean?"

"I shot you, you shot me," Irina said with a shrug. "We're even."

Sydney tried not to laugh. "Mom, that's crazy."

"How?"

"When you shot me, it was different. You couldn't betray Cuvee or we both would have been killed and shooting me in the shoulder allowed our lives to be spared and me to escape." Sydney swallowed hard and kept her gaze focused on her mother's eyes. "When I shot you, I did it because I thought you had betrayed the CIA, Dad, and me."

"You had no way of knowing, Sydney," Irina countered.

"It doesn't matter," Sydney insisted, shaking her head, "I intended to exact revenge on you, and I wanted to make you suffer, because I thought that you weren't on our side."

Irina was silent. Hearing her daughter say that she had planned to kill her didn't exactly sit well on her stomach. But she could understand what her daughter must have been going through. After she had told Sydney she loved her and then went off to Panama and appeared to be working with Sloane, it must have made her feel incredibly foolish for even thinking she could trust her.

"I understand, Sydney," she said finally, and Sydney looked up, a bit surprised. Irina nodded. "But there's no way we can move past this unless you get over your guilt. There's no reason for you to feel guilty. For all you knew, I had betrayed you and your father and the CIA. I don't blame you for what you did. You shouldn't blame yourself either."

Sydney nodded slowly and leaned her head back on her mother's shoulder, Irina's chin automatically moving into place again atop her head.

"So," Irina started after a few moments had passed, "tit for tat?"

Sydney snorted, suddenly consumed by laughter. After a couple of minutes, and her mother laughing with her, Sydney was able to calm down and wipe her eyes, which had filled with tears from laughing so hard.

"Tit for tat," she agreed.

"That's my girl," Irina cooed, causing Sydney to laugh again.

"I need to tell you something," Sydney said solemnly, her voice just above a whisper.

"Anything," Irina whispered back, holding Sydney closer.

"Before you left to go to Panama, you told me you loved me." She heard her mother sigh with content and continued, "I was in something of a state of shock. I mean, it just meant so much to me to hear you say that. I'm angry at myself for not saying it back, and being a wimp and just saying that you were coming back."

"Babe, I told you it was okay. I just needed you to know," Irina told her, kissing the top of her head again.

"I know, Mom, but the truth is, I wanted to say it back. I just couldn't work up the courage. I don't know why, but somehow I just couldn't say it right then." Sydney sighed and sat up a little so she make eye contact with her mother. "But I can say it now."

Irina felt her throat tighten and the tears already in her eyes threaten to fall with the words she knew Sydney was about to say.

"Mom," Sydney began, a small smile creeping onto her lips, "I love you."

Irina wrapped both arms tightly around her daughter, ignoring the dull pain in her left shoulder. Sydney leaned into her mother's embrace, tears of relief spilling from her eyes.

"I love you, too, babe," Irina whispered into Sydney's hair.

Sydney smiled and a content sigh of relief followed.

"Sydney, I need to ask you about something," Irina said, and Sydney sat up, looking at her inquisitively. "What do you think of Sark?"

Sydney's mouth stood agape for a moment.

He's a great guy. We're so much alike and we complete each other so perfectly it's almost scary. I love him, I do.

"Uh, well, I—" Sydney swallowed hard. "Um—"

"Exactly what I thought," Irina said, smiling broadly.

"What?" Sydney asked, her eyes filled with confusion.

Irina stroked Sydney's hair. "Babe, you can't deny it. It's obvious."

"What is?" Sydney asked, still confused. Or pretending to be...

Irina frowned and shook her head. "If that's the way you want it." She looked away and stared at an invisible spot on the wall.

"No, no," Sydney said, turning her mother's face back towards her. "What are you talking about?"

"You're in love, Sydney."

Sydney blushed deeply and stared at the floor. She couldn't hide it anymore.

"See?" Irina asked, gently elbowing her. "It's clearly written all over your face."

Sydney sighed and looked back up. "I guess I do have feelings for him," she said with a nonchalant shrug.

Irina gave Sydney's cheek a bit of a strong tap, trying to get Sydney to stop playing her little game. "Sydney, you're in love with him. I know it, you know it, all you need to do now is see if Sark feels the same way you do."

Sydney scoffed. "I'm almost afraid to see if he does. But I do want to know." She sighed. "I mean, in the tunnel, when he held my hand, it just seemed like he wasn't just doing it to comfort me. It seemed like there was something else there."

Irina nodded and smiled. 'She saw it too,' she thought. "Tell him."

Sydney smiled a little and shrugged. "I will," she agreed, "at the right moment."

Irina smiled at this and a comfortable silence ensued. Sydney rested her head on her mother's shoulder again, her eyes feeling heavy as she was emotionally drained. Irina gently ran her fingertips over Sydney's hair, lulling her to sleep.


A while later, Sark came to visit, finding mother and daughter sleeping peacefully. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face at the fact that Sydney had apparently been able to forgive herself for what had happened. He walked quietly over to Sydney and just watched her. Watched her eyes flutter from time to time, watched her chest rise and fall with each even breath, watched her unconsciously move closer to her mother, the top of her head brushing underneath Irina's chin as if Sydney was making sure that her mother was still there.

Sark thought about his handholding moment with Sydney and their moment when he moved her hair away from her face. He remembered how her eyes looked. They were shining brightly with some kind of emotion he was hesitant to give a name.

He reached out a hand towards her and gently brushed her cheek, what he had wanted to do earlier in the waiting room. He stroked her high cheekbone, moving his thumb over her smooth, porcelain skin. Sydney emitted a content sigh and Sark felt his knees go weak.

'Amazing,' he thought.

"Sark." Irina's voice, low and quiet.

Sark jerked his hand back and looked at Irina.

"You don't have to pretend," Irina told him, a smile spreading over her lips, "I saw it in your eyes and my daughter's eyes when we were in the tunnel."

Sark was determined not to let Irina get the best of him. "You saw what?"

"Love."

Sark shook his head. "You lost a great deal of blood, Irina. Clearly, you're delusional."

"Andrew," Irina said softly, surprising Sark with her rare use of his first name, "I can see it. I saw it then and I see it now. It was obvious when you were holding her hand and it was obvious when you were just stroking her cheek."

Sark's eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. "I thought you were asleep."

"Exactly," Irina said with a grin. "You 'thought' I was asleep."

Sark sighed and averted his gaze to the floor.

"You need to tell her," Irina said, chewing on her lip a little, "she needs to know."

Sark nodded slowly, defeated. "I know."

"So tell her," Irina said with a shrug.

"I will," Sark told her, "when it's the right moment."

Irina nodded, even more aware of how deep Sark's feelings for her daughter were. He loved her so much he wanted to wait until the absolute perfect moment to tell her. He wanted to do it right, not just any old place at any old time. Plus, Sydney had said the same thing. They really were romantics at heart. She admired them both.

"I'll come back later," Sark said, snapping Irina out of her thoughts. "Jack checked us into a hotel, I'm going to go take a nap for a while after I explain to him exactly what you and I were up to. Sydney said she would explain, but she's sleeping right now, and I know she's too tired to want to put up with any kind of argument Jack may want to start."

Irina nodded, now seeing that Sark wanted to protect Sydney as well. "Have fun with that," Irina said with a wink, making Sark smile a bit. "See you later."

Sark nodded and left after running his thumb over Sydney's cheek again and tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.

Irina smiled.