Milliardo's bad hair day

Every morning Milliardo woke up very early. He had to wash his hair and, of course, that took him ages since he had to blow dry it straight in order to have his mane in pristine order.

He always tried not to wake his wife Lucrezia up since she was absolutely terrible first thing in the morning. You really did not want to talk to her before she had had at least two cups of strong, sugarless, black coffee.

He got in the shower and started the usual process. First he let the water run down the entire length of his hair. Then he started applying the shampoo massaging his scalp. He had read somewhere that that made your hair grow stronger.

Then, after rinsing it carefully, he applied the hair mask and, with a comb, he ensured that the mask got everywhere.

After a while, he rinsed the mask off and after washing himself, stepped out of the shower and started towel drying his hair. You would really have to decide who loved his hair more, Duo Maxwell or Milliardo Peacecraft. It was a really close thing really, but, unlike the Deathscythe pilot, Milliardo enjoyed when his hair was loose.

He came out of the bathroom to find Lucrezia standing in the middle of their room with a really freaky smirk on her face.

"Good morning Lu…" said Milliardo cautiously.

Lucrezia did not reply. She just kept staring at him. Then Milliardo saw something shiny behind her back.

"Baby, what do you have there?" asked Milliardo starting to get really afraid.

"What, this?" asked Lucrezia producing a thirty centimetres long pair of scissors.

Milliardo gasped. Instinctively, he started looking for places to either escape or hide. Stupidity made him ask:

"What are you doing with those?".

"I'm going to cut it all off!" finally shouted Lucrezia "All off, all off…ha ha ha ha ha!!!" laughed maniacally while starting to get closer to him.

Milliardo finally reacted and tried to make it to the door. He managed to do so but as he ran outside the room he started hearing the scissors open and close dangerously close to his back.

"LUCREZIA!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOR MIND!?! PUT THOSE SCISSORS AWAY IMMEDIATELY!!" shouted Milliardo while being chased around the house by his crazed wife.

"NO! I AM FED UP!! I HAVE ASKED YOU NUMEROUS TIMES TO CUT YOUR HAIR!! I CANNOT STAND THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND HAS LONGER HAIR THAN I DO!! NOW, I WILL CUT IT ALL OFF!! ALL OFF!!" replied Lucrezia shouting.

Milliardo looked back briefly to see that his wife was still chasing him and she was really serious about it. He was scared like he had never been in his entire life.

He needed to come up with a plan and fast. What the heck was wrong with her that morning? She was usually bad but today…man, she was psychotic…

Finally, he made it back to their bedroom and locked the door behind him. He was safe, for now.

Milliardo sat on the bed completely freaked out trying to think what to do. Lucrezia kept pounding the door. He could still hear her totally psychotic laugher. Then he saw it. It was a blister of tablets that was laying on his wife's bedside table. At first he thought that they were the contraceptive pills he knew Lucrezia usually took every morning. Taking a better look he realised that this pills were different. They were light blue instead of pink. He took the blister's box and took the information leaflet out of the box, Milliardo then read:

Ginkonium

Composition: caffeine, ginko ginseng and ephredine extracts.

Dosage: 1/4 of the pill to be taken in case of extreme physical or mental fatigue.

He checked the blister again. He then realised that at least two pills were missing. Milliardo headed towards the videocom and called the base's doctor.

"Dr Andrews, it's Milliardo Peacecraft, we have a problem," Milliardo said starting to fear for the door's integrity.

"What's the matter?" said the good doctor.

"My wife Lucrezia is out of her mind, I think she's taken two pills from some medicine called 'Ginkonium'…and now she's chasing me around with a pair of scissors. I'm locked in our bedroom right now but, I just don't know what to do," reported Milliardo sounding every bit as scared as he was.

"Oh, my! Mr Peacecraft, you should stay there. That medicine is pretty dangerous if you take an overdose: you should wait till its effects wear off. Then you're wife will probably faint and you'll be safe. Then you'll need to take her here for a check," explained Dr Andrews.

"Really? And, how long will that take?" asked Milliardo.

"No more than two hours…" said the doctor.

"Oh gosh…" replied Milliardo getting mentally ready to wait for such a long time.

Two hours later, as predicted by the doctor, Milliardo heard a thump. His wife had stopped hitting the door just before that so he assumed it was safe to leave.

After opening carefully the door he saw her on the floor with the scissors nearby. Kicking them as far away as he could, he took Lucrezia in his arms and took her to the medical centre.

Looking as peaceful as she did now it was unbelievable how much she had scared him earlier on. Really, Milliardo preferred fighting against two hundred fully armed mobile dolls than his wife in such an extreme caffeine high!

A/N:

Ephredine is the name of a herb from the alkaloid family. It has, more or less, the same effects than cocaine only that, if used properly, benefits more than damages patients suffering from depression or severe exhaustion. Ginko ginseng, for those that don't know, is a root that has pretty much the same effect in a much smaller scale.

Caffeine: EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS, SPECIALLY THE UNDERSIGNED!!

Thanks everyone for their reviews!! You're such great people!

I love you all lots,

Sanae

Next: Special surprise chapter featuring Lady Une and Treize (making a special comeback for the authoress!)