College life is stressful enough without hating me so: No I don't own characters or the basic plot, that honor goes to Tom Smith, pun-dit and fastest filker for details). Nor do I own the realm of fantasy in which I have set his work; that belongs to the wonderful Mr. Tolkien. Dickerson's Dorsais (Dorsaies? Dorsi?) belong to anyone with the money to pay them.

AN: sorry, life gets in the way of fun. It's been a long time (baby) but here it is. I should be wrapping up soon.

"The four marched through the muck and mire

The forest, it loomed o'er

Before them was a goal, a quest

The like ne'er seen before.

A maiden led the (ahem) noble crew

On horse as black as her.

She was followed by child of fen and star

Whose lust no one could deter.

In contrast to her ebony, a man there walked beside..."

"Bristol, could you stuff it?" Biff interrupted.

"What? I'm immortalizing us in song." Bristol returned.

"Well, I need to concentrate, and I can't do it with you bellowing." Biff snapped.

"Sounds like someone needs some happy juice," Bristol observed, handing Biff a flask with his free hand.

"Bristol how is it possible you have a free hand?" Biff asked after he had taken a LONG pull from the flask. He was curious, the dwarf was hauling, not only the bulk of the packs, but also a good share of the supplies and their most recent acquisition: lengths of sharp wire. But he also wanted to hold the gin as long as possible. The ploy failed, Biff realized, as the flask was whisked away. Bristol took a sip and fixed the vial to his hip again.

What, this metal? Boyo, I'm a dwarf. We spend all our time playing with metal. We're this shape for a reason. A couple lengths of wire are hardly noticed, now my turn, what's with the white seersucker?"

"What?" Biff asked.

"And the bowtie? And that hat?"

"Bristol, I'll have you know this outfit is imbued with special spells to ward off dragon's flame."

"Really" Bristol sounded understandably doubtful.

"You doubt the word of a wizard when it comes to magic?"

"Sorry, no, I guess that's fine. But what's with the bell? Magic sound to scare the beast? A special charm that calls your demons?" Bristol shot back with sarcasm to drown a fish.

"First of all Bristol, so many questions deserve liquid payment," Bristol snorted and handed the flask back. He waited as Biff enjoyed it, noisily.

"Well?" Bristol said impatiently. Biff held up a hand as he finished it.

"You guessed correctly, this bell has very special powers. Let me ask you, do you see the structure of Vain's ears?" Biff said after he handed the now empty flask back to the dwarf.

"Aye."

"Well, his race has those ears to hear things very well, if it weren't for the volume of his ego, he could probably hear everything we say."

"What has that to do with the bell?"

I just like having something to annoy Varicose with."

"Ah, well that's worth a flash of gin any day," Bristol laughed.

"You'd make a lousy tavern master," Biff said wryly giving his bell the tiniest of shakes.

"What was that, who goes there," Varicose leapt off his horse, bow drawn and circling. "Come out vile fiend!" He demanded and in response a small rodent came in front of him and wriggled its nose. Bristol and Biff erupted in laughter.

"Like I said, worth a flask of gin, any day," Bristol laughed, shifting the wire to a more comfortable position.

Varicose seethed as he remounted his horse. Imagine those peons. Laughing at him. Him! Why, I should take my axe and form a proper lure for that dragon. He looked to Delphine, beauty always calmed him and, at the moment, he lacked a mirror. She was smiling! Not the smile of a person achieving their goal, not the smile of victory within tasting range. Not even the smile of a woman who just realized her true feelings about a devastatingly handsome man, er, elf. No, this was a smile holding back a laugh for all it was worth. But, as everyone knows, smiles are wimps and the laugh escaped in a snort-cough-hiccup which sounded, interestingly enough, exactly like the mating call of a tiny mite that lives on dragon scales. Varicose's ire rose even more, for those playing the home game, that made Varicose's ire almost as high as his view of himself. He glared, sullenly. Delphine, barely noticed. That was odd. She always reacts to sulleness. He redoubled his efforts, with a look that would make angsty teens and pouty two-year-olds everywhere green with envy. Still nothing. He cleared his throat. Not an eye blink. "Delphine," he whined. Finally, a reaction.

"What is it Varicose, do you hear another mouse?" she snort-cough-hiccupped.

"No it's just....uh...well we're about half-way to the cave and I thought maybe" He tried to think of something, something intelligent, something martial, something that put Biff in place of significant owies. "We should dismount and send the wizard ahead," Varicose said quickly with one of those smirks. "We don't want to wake the dragon with all this noise; we'll lose the element of surprise."

Delphine nodded, "Good thinking. Biff and I will go ahead while you and Bristol tie the horses up and get the wire straightened out." Delphine jumped off her horse and grabbed her various lethal accoutrements and started off, further down the trail. That was NOT what Varicose had intended at all, and he was about to protest when he not so mush heard as felt a rumbling. An ominous rumbling, no one wanted to look. They just stood; staring at each other is disbelief. "Varicose" Delphine gulped, "Look,"

I don't want to" Varicose was almost shaking.

"Damn you Vain, LOOK, you've got the eyes!" Delphine ordered. Varicose took a breath and turned toward the mountains.

"What do you see?" Delphine asked, her voice shaking with control.

"It's the dragon" Varicose confirmed for the clueless. "The thud was it landing, it looks angry"

"Angry? How can a dragon look anything but angry?!? It's what they do! Come one folks, we've got to get out of here" Biff said trying to get everyone to shake-off the scardies.

"Biffs right" Bristol said, taking a deep breath and, with the look of one condemned,ran into the deep woods. Biff hurried the horses in the opposite direction as Delphine started to lead shock still Varicose further into the woods.

Dum-dum-DAA! I'm ba-ack! Like I said, for the conclusion soon. I hope.

Da boch chi!