Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this story.
Chapter 4: Rurouni Claus
Kenshin was getting bored. He had listened to Sano's story about a million times. Suddenly Kenshin had an idea! It seemed like the most logical thing to do. Kenshin took his sheath and hit Sano in the head. Sano fell in a heap at his feet.
"That takes care of that," said Kenshin.
So Kenshin resumed walking toward the dojo humming a tune along the way. The dojo came in sight and Kenshin started to quicken his pace. He was so hungry he could eat a hippo. Well he was pretty lucky because a hippo happened to fall out of the sky landing right in front of Kenshin.
"Oro?" said Kenshin faintly.
"I'M YOUR FARIY GOD MOTHER!" yelled the hippo, so loud that she blew up Mexico.
Kenshin pointed an accusing finger at the hippo.
"YOU BLEW UP MEXICO, THAT YOU DID!" "NOW I MUST EAT YOU!"
Kenshin's mouth grew and grew and grew and grew until it was of great size. He then ate the hippo in one gulp.
"Now that that's done let's go to the dojo shall we," Kenshin said to himself.
Kenshin arrived at the dojo at approximately 5:00 and sat down at the table.
"Hello Kenshin," said Kaoru, "Is it okay if we have some friends for dinner?"
Just as she said that Aoshi, Saitou, and Misao walked out of the shadows wearing red and green suits on. Bells were on the tips of their green shoes and their hats and made noise whenever they walked.
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!" yelled Kenshin.
"We're Santa's little helpers," said Saitou calmly lighting a cigarette.
"Oh.....I knew that," said Kenshin.
Misao, Saitou, Kaoru, and Aoshi all sat down at the table with Kenshin and started eating and all went well. Okay maybe not that well. But all went well.
"So what did you do today Kenshin?" said Kaoru anxiously.
"Oh nothing," said Kenshin, "I just ate a hippo."
Everyone gasped.
"But-but today's Sunday!" stammered Kaoru.
"You can't eat hippo's on Sundays!" said Misao.
"WE MUST PREFORM THE RITUAL!" yelled Aoshi as he stood up.
"THE RITUAL!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
They all grabbed Kenshin and ran to the phonebook store.
"Orororororororororororororororo!" yelled Kenshin as they all dragged him to the phonebook store.
As they arrived at the phonebook store they arrived through the roof which made a really big hole.
"That is the first part of the ritual," said Aoshi, "Now we must apply whipped cream to your face so it will look like a beard.
"A BEARD!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
" WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Aoshi.
"SHUT-UP!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
"Anyway...we need to apply the whipped cream....."
"WHIPPED CREAM!"
"...on Kenshin's face..."
"FACE!"
"..so it will look like a beard.."
"A BEARD!"
"Right....so who has the whipped cream?"
Everyone stared blankly back.
"Anybody?" asked Aoshi.
Kenshin raised his hand weakly.
"Well hand it over Kenshin so we can apply it to your face right away." Said Aoshi.
"Aoshi, guys, I'm grateful and all that your helping me but I think your going a little bit to-"
Aoshi grabbed the whipped cream from Kenshin.
"Less talking, more spreading," said Aoshi, "NOW LETS MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"
Everyone crowded around Kenshin so there was no place to go.
"Guys...please think about what your doing.." said Kenshin nervously.
They all pounced on him at once, spreading the whipped cream all over his face. After a few minutes they stepped back and looked at their work.
"ORO!? Yelled Kenshin looking in a mirror, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE!"
"We've done the second part of the ritual," said Aoshi as he wiped off the whipped cream on his clothes, "Now we need to perform the third.
"Oh no you don't..." said Kenshin backing away slowly.
"THE PACKAGE IS GETTING AWAY!" yelled Aoshi, "CATCH HIM!"
So the chase began but of course Kenshin out ran them with his so- called 'god-like speed' because he's Kenshin and Kenshin always wins. A few hours later after he had ran away, Kenshin was sitting on a bench in the middle of the park when a little boy came and sat on his knee.
"Hi Santa Claus!" the boy said happily.
"Oro? You might be mistaking me of being somebody else-"
The little boy cut him off.
"I want a pony, a bike, a gamecube, a puppy, a book, a computer, a hat, a baseball bat, a skateboard, a toothbrush, a new pair of shoes, a helmet, a rocket ship, a piece of paper, a magazine, a magazine rack, a pencil, a cookie, a glass of milk to go with the cookie, a screwdriver, a car, car keys to go with the car, a paper plate, a bunny, a carrot, an egg, a race car driver, my two front teeth, a picture of my two front teeth, a scooter, a CD, a CD player, a broom, a mouse, a clarinet, a pixie stick, a banana, a monkey...
Kenshin didn't have the heart to interrupt the little boy so he laid back, sighed, and listened.
"...a roller coaster, roller blades, a TV, a fish, candy, more candy, more and more candy, a microphone, a mailbox, a blueberry named Mike, a piece of pizza, a board game, a moldy piece of bread, a dollar, a rock, a banjo, a stereo, a snake, a DVD player, a binder, a pretty flower, an onion, a pot, socks, my own city, a robot, clean underwear....
To Be Continued!
Kohana: Flame me if you must but I think this was a really good chapter. Please read and review!
R&R!
Chapter 4: Rurouni Claus
Kenshin was getting bored. He had listened to Sano's story about a million times. Suddenly Kenshin had an idea! It seemed like the most logical thing to do. Kenshin took his sheath and hit Sano in the head. Sano fell in a heap at his feet.
"That takes care of that," said Kenshin.
So Kenshin resumed walking toward the dojo humming a tune along the way. The dojo came in sight and Kenshin started to quicken his pace. He was so hungry he could eat a hippo. Well he was pretty lucky because a hippo happened to fall out of the sky landing right in front of Kenshin.
"Oro?" said Kenshin faintly.
"I'M YOUR FARIY GOD MOTHER!" yelled the hippo, so loud that she blew up Mexico.
Kenshin pointed an accusing finger at the hippo.
"YOU BLEW UP MEXICO, THAT YOU DID!" "NOW I MUST EAT YOU!"
Kenshin's mouth grew and grew and grew and grew until it was of great size. He then ate the hippo in one gulp.
"Now that that's done let's go to the dojo shall we," Kenshin said to himself.
Kenshin arrived at the dojo at approximately 5:00 and sat down at the table.
"Hello Kenshin," said Kaoru, "Is it okay if we have some friends for dinner?"
Just as she said that Aoshi, Saitou, and Misao walked out of the shadows wearing red and green suits on. Bells were on the tips of their green shoes and their hats and made noise whenever they walked.
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!" yelled Kenshin.
"We're Santa's little helpers," said Saitou calmly lighting a cigarette.
"Oh.....I knew that," said Kenshin.
Misao, Saitou, Kaoru, and Aoshi all sat down at the table with Kenshin and started eating and all went well. Okay maybe not that well. But all went well.
"So what did you do today Kenshin?" said Kaoru anxiously.
"Oh nothing," said Kenshin, "I just ate a hippo."
Everyone gasped.
"But-but today's Sunday!" stammered Kaoru.
"You can't eat hippo's on Sundays!" said Misao.
"WE MUST PREFORM THE RITUAL!" yelled Aoshi as he stood up.
"THE RITUAL!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
They all grabbed Kenshin and ran to the phonebook store.
"Orororororororororororororororo!" yelled Kenshin as they all dragged him to the phonebook store.
As they arrived at the phonebook store they arrived through the roof which made a really big hole.
"That is the first part of the ritual," said Aoshi, "Now we must apply whipped cream to your face so it will look like a beard.
"A BEARD!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
" WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Aoshi.
"SHUT-UP!" everyone except Kenshin yelled in unison.
"Anyway...we need to apply the whipped cream....."
"WHIPPED CREAM!"
"...on Kenshin's face..."
"FACE!"
"..so it will look like a beard.."
"A BEARD!"
"Right....so who has the whipped cream?"
Everyone stared blankly back.
"Anybody?" asked Aoshi.
Kenshin raised his hand weakly.
"Well hand it over Kenshin so we can apply it to your face right away." Said Aoshi.
"Aoshi, guys, I'm grateful and all that your helping me but I think your going a little bit to-"
Aoshi grabbed the whipped cream from Kenshin.
"Less talking, more spreading," said Aoshi, "NOW LETS MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"
Everyone crowded around Kenshin so there was no place to go.
"Guys...please think about what your doing.." said Kenshin nervously.
They all pounced on him at once, spreading the whipped cream all over his face. After a few minutes they stepped back and looked at their work.
"ORO!? Yelled Kenshin looking in a mirror, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE!"
"We've done the second part of the ritual," said Aoshi as he wiped off the whipped cream on his clothes, "Now we need to perform the third.
"Oh no you don't..." said Kenshin backing away slowly.
"THE PACKAGE IS GETTING AWAY!" yelled Aoshi, "CATCH HIM!"
So the chase began but of course Kenshin out ran them with his so- called 'god-like speed' because he's Kenshin and Kenshin always wins. A few hours later after he had ran away, Kenshin was sitting on a bench in the middle of the park when a little boy came and sat on his knee.
"Hi Santa Claus!" the boy said happily.
"Oro? You might be mistaking me of being somebody else-"
The little boy cut him off.
"I want a pony, a bike, a gamecube, a puppy, a book, a computer, a hat, a baseball bat, a skateboard, a toothbrush, a new pair of shoes, a helmet, a rocket ship, a piece of paper, a magazine, a magazine rack, a pencil, a cookie, a glass of milk to go with the cookie, a screwdriver, a car, car keys to go with the car, a paper plate, a bunny, a carrot, an egg, a race car driver, my two front teeth, a picture of my two front teeth, a scooter, a CD, a CD player, a broom, a mouse, a clarinet, a pixie stick, a banana, a monkey...
Kenshin didn't have the heart to interrupt the little boy so he laid back, sighed, and listened.
"...a roller coaster, roller blades, a TV, a fish, candy, more candy, more and more candy, a microphone, a mailbox, a blueberry named Mike, a piece of pizza, a board game, a moldy piece of bread, a dollar, a rock, a banjo, a stereo, a snake, a DVD player, a binder, a pretty flower, an onion, a pot, socks, my own city, a robot, clean underwear....
To Be Continued!
Kohana: Flame me if you must but I think this was a really good chapter. Please read and review!
R&R!