Title: Miserable
warnings: male x male
disclaimers: not mine ^^*.*^^
notes: no Harry this chapter
~ ~ ~
You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.
~ ~ ~
Severus journeyed far into the bowels of Hogwart's, in the most remote region of the school. No one came here anymore. The rumours that Albus had spread about a ravenous panther-demon that Salazar Slytherin had set forth in order to protect his secret lair. It would attack anyone that dared to set foot in the premises. Of course, Severus knew it wasn't true but the illusion that Albus had created in order to deter any adventuresome student was frightening in its own right.
The torches ended abruptly in front of a winding staircase wrought with ivy, cobwebs and moss. Using his wand for sufficient lighting, Severus slowly descended the spiraling steps. There were stairs that were faulty and one did not pay attention, one could easily trip on a crack or crevice and tumble all the way to the bottom; nearly fifty feet. Severus could hear the faint growls of the artifical panther-demon as he came to the end of the staircase.
The creaking of doors swinging on their hinges, of wind blowing through broken windows, of dripping water from the lavatory; all of it made Severus's hair stand on end. The classroom that the items were in was like the Room of Requirement, one could only see if it the need was there. It appeared as soon as he thought of it. The interior was full of rare potions ingredients. Most had been passed through the generation of headmaster's, the rest having come from Albus's journies.
Taking the Lethargus Reseco page that he'd torn from the book, he glanced at the components that were required. The vial of the glowing, azure liquid- the elixer of life: check. The Phoenix Pinion-check. Three containers of the potion, Soft, which was stronger then the Mandrake drought that would restore the user from the being petrified. A liquified broth of adder stone to assist the Elixer of Life. Four drops of Holy Water blessed by Christ to combat the effects of Dark Magic. The last ingredient wasn't in the room. It was Valerian, a plants that's healing properties were reputed to be the most powerful and only grew near Fairy Rings. That would mean venturing into the forest. Severus gently deposited the ingredients in his bag, carefully arranging them so they did not break.
He could do no more until the next new moon-three days from then. Afterwards, he would have to stick to the chart devised. Day one; simmer the Elixer of Life and adder stone. Day two; add the Pinion and let them boil. Day three; slowly add the Soft to the concoction. Day four; sprinkle in the crushed Valerian. Day five; deposit the Holy Water until the smoke that rises from the blend turns golden and it would be ready to dispense to its intended user.
Severus, after shrinking and hiding the bag in his bedroom, went to the Headmaster's office. "Fac et gaudem." The stone snakes, which replaced the gargoyles, slithered at him appreciatively before opening. He wasn't surprised to see that Zacharais was still present and trying, in vain, to get Draco to tell him what was wrong. Draco had become introverted after the Final Battle. Severus wondered how much of that had to do with guilt. It was futile to convict Draco when he had no evidence but for his own doubts.
"Severus," Draco seemed to be relieved for company other then Zacharais. "What do I owe for this visit?" Severus wished on the fates that his surmises about Draco betraying Harry weren't true. He cared for Draco immensely but so much hate had been bred into Draco. Years upon years of his father's teachings and Voldemort's threats still lingered on Draco, even now. It was possible that Draco had been threatened into being a traitor to the Light or it could have been a son trying to appease his father.
Severus folded his arms in front of his chest, eyes lingering on Draco's beautiful face, unable in that brief instance to accuse him of what he knew in his mind and heart to be true. How could such an angelic featured youth have ever done anything so callous? But this was Draco who spent years in the shadow of Harry, always being reminded that Harry was better then him. Cold envy melted into fiery rage, perhaps, aiding Draco's vengenance. "You left breakfast in such a hurry that I became concerned for your well being."
"Zacharais, would you excuse us?" Draco smiled charmingly at him but Severus could see how false that smile actually was. Draco rarely showed any sort of emotion these days. Severus couldn't blame him. As the years passed, one became reminded of how truly lonely they were. Without his family, without Blaise... Severus was like that too. He couldn't relate to anyone but Draco and Draco seldomnly opened up to him. Almost as if he knew what Severus's inquisitive mind was thinking.
Zacharais nodded, smiling softly at Draco and glaring at Severus. "I do believe that Smith has affections for you, Draco."
Draco shrugged, taking a sip of brandy. "He knows I can't pursue a relationship with him. Drink?" Severus declined, needing to be in his best shape to teach the seventh year Newts class. "In answer to what you said earlier, my health is perfectly fine, thank you."
"Physcially yes but mentally and emotionally?"
Silver oculates flashed with fury before dulling. "If you're suggesting that I am uncapable of carrying on the task of Headmaster-"
"No." Severus sighed, sitting in the seat in front of the desk. "You've been acting more morose then usual. I'm worried about you. This morning when those fools mentioned seeing Harry you just took off without excusing yourself or an explanation. Keep doing that and people are going to start to think that you had something to do with Harry's capture."
Draco angrily rose to his feet, bracing his hands on the table top and leering at Severus. Draco was a formidable man when he needed to be. "Is that what you think? I sold Potter out? Please, tell me why you assume that." Draco's shoulders were bristling with rage, skin stretched tightly across his knuckles.
"You always hated Harry but because you saved us from Voldemort, no one in their right mind would think of accusing you or investigating the truth. Ginny Weasley wouldn't have ever betrayed her family or Harry. Unless Voldemort used Imperious on her or used it on you in order to use it on her, there are no other conclusions. Unless you were fueled with so much loathing and need for power that you used Imperious on Ginny without you being under the effects. I've seen you when you get mad. Killing isn't beneath you in order to achieve what you want."
Draco shook his head, backing away from Severus until he was cornered. He slumped to the floor, holding his head in his hands. Severus blinked at him, brows arching nearly to his hairline when he realised that Draco was crying. Severus knelt gingerly beside of Draco, placing a hand on the trembling shoulder. "What is it Draco?"
"I did not use Imperious on Ginny and I did not betray Potter." Draco's tears ended almost as quickly as they had begun. He met Severus's gaze, flinching at the scrutiny. "I swear that I didn't. Severus, you always believed me so believe me now."
Severus pursed his lips. The amount of honesty swirling in the stormy depths were tremendous but how much of that honesty was such a mask in order to hide the lies. Draco's skills of manipulation were immense. "Tell me the truth. Who did it? I know that you know something about what happened."
"...Alright. It won't help now but I'll tell you." Draco took a deep breath, preparing himself for telling what actually happened all those years ago. "As you know, Blaise and I became a couple during that summer after fifth year. With Father in Azkaban, I only had him to rely on. Sixth year, when Voldemort came to Malfoy Manor, he threatened me into becoming a Death Eater. I was scared so I became a Spy for the Light. Blaise said he couldn't join but that he would bring me information. He loved me and he told me he was going to do everything he could to ensure my safety." The tears started to fall again. "Blaise used Imperious on Ginny. He made Ginny betray Potter so I could become the saviour. He wanted me to be happy and he knew how much power meant to me. Voldemort had no idea that Ginny was being controlled. He found out about Blaise's double crossing and Blaise admitted that he had been the one giving secrets to the Light in order to keep me protected. Voldemort killed him."
Severus could only stare at Draco in silence, allowing the young man to bury his head against his chest so he could mourn the loss that he still suffered from. Draco had been carrying the truth around with him for five years, alone. How he managed to stay sane with that amount of pain was astonishing. Severus stroked the man's hair, soothing him. "Why didn't you come to me after it happened?"
"I couldn't. I was so afraid that the Ministry would take-" Draco snapped his mouth shut.
"Take what, Draco? Tell me." Severus prodded him gently.
"Would take my daughter." Severus's surprise was clearly evident. "Blaise and I had experimented with male pregnancy potions." A sad smile curled Draco's lips. "It worked. That was the real reason I had disappeared for nine weeks. Not to train but to have my daughter. Blaise never saw her."
"Oh Draco," Severus wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry." To know that someone actually had success in making the Ingravesco Compleo potion was amazing. Only three recorded cases in history had properly been achieved.
"I would like to think that he knows in the next demension. That's a pleasant fiction though. You can meet her, if you like." Draco stood, dusting his robes free of debris. He wiped his eyes, using a spell to rid the evidence of his emotional disturbance.
"She's here?" Severus glanced around as if expecting the child to appear from behind a piece of furniture.
"Where else would she be?" Draco asked dryly, vanishing from the office to his chambers. Severus rarely felt excitement but he had to admit that the prospect of seeing the product of Blaise and Draco's coupling was thrilling. The second Draco emerged, Severus's eyes widened and his mouth opened but no words escaped. Attached to Draco's hand was a small girl that couldn't have been more then five years old. Flaxen ringlets tumbled to the cinched waist of her robes. Murky chocolate brown eyes-inherited from Blaise-were intermingled with the occasional silver shimmer. Her skin was bronzed, also coming from Blaise. "Aglaia, this is Severus, your godfather."
Aglaia ventured forth, glancing back at Draco uncertainly only recieving an encouraging nod from him. With pink tinted cheeks she smiled bashfully. Severus knelt to the ground, doing his best to return to the smile. Severus tenderly spoke, "Hi." This was his godchild. How strange that this little girl could make him grin so easily.
"Hi," Aglaia twisted the hem of her sleeve in her fingers.
The door opened, Aglaia latching onto Severus and cautiously peeking from behind him. Draco's voice was harsh. "What are you doing here?" Aglaia huddled deeper into Severus's robes. He turned, eyes widening at who he saw.
~ ~ ~
Ah, cliffhangers are glorious. The Draco mpreg thing came to me while I was listening to a song plus it adds angst once you see who showed up. :D
Aglaia was a Grace in greek mythology. She was beautiful and gentle. She became Hephaestus's wife after he tired of Aphrodite's infedilities
This is what I picture Aglaia looking like except with blonde hair. If you put it in the search bar make sure to close the spaces. http : / / www . manganeo . com / helloworld / majo / illust / chibi-m . jpg
Thanks to: Corgi (I will most certainly try to meet your expectations) Immortal Memories (yes, the use of Voldemort's name was not a mistake. With him being deceased, the fear of Voldemort was destroyed) Saavik13 (the rumours were started after Albus left) Kateri, Yxonomei, Sirius's Secret Lover Marie, shadow vampire, Shamus Sev (I'm trying to figure out the meaning of the exclamation point. O.o) mango, frizzy, Cardinal, devi
Review again please :)
warnings: male x male
disclaimers: not mine ^^*.*^^
notes: no Harry this chapter
~ ~ ~
You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.
~ ~ ~
Severus journeyed far into the bowels of Hogwart's, in the most remote region of the school. No one came here anymore. The rumours that Albus had spread about a ravenous panther-demon that Salazar Slytherin had set forth in order to protect his secret lair. It would attack anyone that dared to set foot in the premises. Of course, Severus knew it wasn't true but the illusion that Albus had created in order to deter any adventuresome student was frightening in its own right.
The torches ended abruptly in front of a winding staircase wrought with ivy, cobwebs and moss. Using his wand for sufficient lighting, Severus slowly descended the spiraling steps. There were stairs that were faulty and one did not pay attention, one could easily trip on a crack or crevice and tumble all the way to the bottom; nearly fifty feet. Severus could hear the faint growls of the artifical panther-demon as he came to the end of the staircase.
The creaking of doors swinging on their hinges, of wind blowing through broken windows, of dripping water from the lavatory; all of it made Severus's hair stand on end. The classroom that the items were in was like the Room of Requirement, one could only see if it the need was there. It appeared as soon as he thought of it. The interior was full of rare potions ingredients. Most had been passed through the generation of headmaster's, the rest having come from Albus's journies.
Taking the Lethargus Reseco page that he'd torn from the book, he glanced at the components that were required. The vial of the glowing, azure liquid- the elixer of life: check. The Phoenix Pinion-check. Three containers of the potion, Soft, which was stronger then the Mandrake drought that would restore the user from the being petrified. A liquified broth of adder stone to assist the Elixer of Life. Four drops of Holy Water blessed by Christ to combat the effects of Dark Magic. The last ingredient wasn't in the room. It was Valerian, a plants that's healing properties were reputed to be the most powerful and only grew near Fairy Rings. That would mean venturing into the forest. Severus gently deposited the ingredients in his bag, carefully arranging them so they did not break.
He could do no more until the next new moon-three days from then. Afterwards, he would have to stick to the chart devised. Day one; simmer the Elixer of Life and adder stone. Day two; add the Pinion and let them boil. Day three; slowly add the Soft to the concoction. Day four; sprinkle in the crushed Valerian. Day five; deposit the Holy Water until the smoke that rises from the blend turns golden and it would be ready to dispense to its intended user.
Severus, after shrinking and hiding the bag in his bedroom, went to the Headmaster's office. "Fac et gaudem." The stone snakes, which replaced the gargoyles, slithered at him appreciatively before opening. He wasn't surprised to see that Zacharais was still present and trying, in vain, to get Draco to tell him what was wrong. Draco had become introverted after the Final Battle. Severus wondered how much of that had to do with guilt. It was futile to convict Draco when he had no evidence but for his own doubts.
"Severus," Draco seemed to be relieved for company other then Zacharais. "What do I owe for this visit?" Severus wished on the fates that his surmises about Draco betraying Harry weren't true. He cared for Draco immensely but so much hate had been bred into Draco. Years upon years of his father's teachings and Voldemort's threats still lingered on Draco, even now. It was possible that Draco had been threatened into being a traitor to the Light or it could have been a son trying to appease his father.
Severus folded his arms in front of his chest, eyes lingering on Draco's beautiful face, unable in that brief instance to accuse him of what he knew in his mind and heart to be true. How could such an angelic featured youth have ever done anything so callous? But this was Draco who spent years in the shadow of Harry, always being reminded that Harry was better then him. Cold envy melted into fiery rage, perhaps, aiding Draco's vengenance. "You left breakfast in such a hurry that I became concerned for your well being."
"Zacharais, would you excuse us?" Draco smiled charmingly at him but Severus could see how false that smile actually was. Draco rarely showed any sort of emotion these days. Severus couldn't blame him. As the years passed, one became reminded of how truly lonely they were. Without his family, without Blaise... Severus was like that too. He couldn't relate to anyone but Draco and Draco seldomnly opened up to him. Almost as if he knew what Severus's inquisitive mind was thinking.
Zacharais nodded, smiling softly at Draco and glaring at Severus. "I do believe that Smith has affections for you, Draco."
Draco shrugged, taking a sip of brandy. "He knows I can't pursue a relationship with him. Drink?" Severus declined, needing to be in his best shape to teach the seventh year Newts class. "In answer to what you said earlier, my health is perfectly fine, thank you."
"Physcially yes but mentally and emotionally?"
Silver oculates flashed with fury before dulling. "If you're suggesting that I am uncapable of carrying on the task of Headmaster-"
"No." Severus sighed, sitting in the seat in front of the desk. "You've been acting more morose then usual. I'm worried about you. This morning when those fools mentioned seeing Harry you just took off without excusing yourself or an explanation. Keep doing that and people are going to start to think that you had something to do with Harry's capture."
Draco angrily rose to his feet, bracing his hands on the table top and leering at Severus. Draco was a formidable man when he needed to be. "Is that what you think? I sold Potter out? Please, tell me why you assume that." Draco's shoulders were bristling with rage, skin stretched tightly across his knuckles.
"You always hated Harry but because you saved us from Voldemort, no one in their right mind would think of accusing you or investigating the truth. Ginny Weasley wouldn't have ever betrayed her family or Harry. Unless Voldemort used Imperious on her or used it on you in order to use it on her, there are no other conclusions. Unless you were fueled with so much loathing and need for power that you used Imperious on Ginny without you being under the effects. I've seen you when you get mad. Killing isn't beneath you in order to achieve what you want."
Draco shook his head, backing away from Severus until he was cornered. He slumped to the floor, holding his head in his hands. Severus blinked at him, brows arching nearly to his hairline when he realised that Draco was crying. Severus knelt gingerly beside of Draco, placing a hand on the trembling shoulder. "What is it Draco?"
"I did not use Imperious on Ginny and I did not betray Potter." Draco's tears ended almost as quickly as they had begun. He met Severus's gaze, flinching at the scrutiny. "I swear that I didn't. Severus, you always believed me so believe me now."
Severus pursed his lips. The amount of honesty swirling in the stormy depths were tremendous but how much of that honesty was such a mask in order to hide the lies. Draco's skills of manipulation were immense. "Tell me the truth. Who did it? I know that you know something about what happened."
"...Alright. It won't help now but I'll tell you." Draco took a deep breath, preparing himself for telling what actually happened all those years ago. "As you know, Blaise and I became a couple during that summer after fifth year. With Father in Azkaban, I only had him to rely on. Sixth year, when Voldemort came to Malfoy Manor, he threatened me into becoming a Death Eater. I was scared so I became a Spy for the Light. Blaise said he couldn't join but that he would bring me information. He loved me and he told me he was going to do everything he could to ensure my safety." The tears started to fall again. "Blaise used Imperious on Ginny. He made Ginny betray Potter so I could become the saviour. He wanted me to be happy and he knew how much power meant to me. Voldemort had no idea that Ginny was being controlled. He found out about Blaise's double crossing and Blaise admitted that he had been the one giving secrets to the Light in order to keep me protected. Voldemort killed him."
Severus could only stare at Draco in silence, allowing the young man to bury his head against his chest so he could mourn the loss that he still suffered from. Draco had been carrying the truth around with him for five years, alone. How he managed to stay sane with that amount of pain was astonishing. Severus stroked the man's hair, soothing him. "Why didn't you come to me after it happened?"
"I couldn't. I was so afraid that the Ministry would take-" Draco snapped his mouth shut.
"Take what, Draco? Tell me." Severus prodded him gently.
"Would take my daughter." Severus's surprise was clearly evident. "Blaise and I had experimented with male pregnancy potions." A sad smile curled Draco's lips. "It worked. That was the real reason I had disappeared for nine weeks. Not to train but to have my daughter. Blaise never saw her."
"Oh Draco," Severus wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry." To know that someone actually had success in making the Ingravesco Compleo potion was amazing. Only three recorded cases in history had properly been achieved.
"I would like to think that he knows in the next demension. That's a pleasant fiction though. You can meet her, if you like." Draco stood, dusting his robes free of debris. He wiped his eyes, using a spell to rid the evidence of his emotional disturbance.
"She's here?" Severus glanced around as if expecting the child to appear from behind a piece of furniture.
"Where else would she be?" Draco asked dryly, vanishing from the office to his chambers. Severus rarely felt excitement but he had to admit that the prospect of seeing the product of Blaise and Draco's coupling was thrilling. The second Draco emerged, Severus's eyes widened and his mouth opened but no words escaped. Attached to Draco's hand was a small girl that couldn't have been more then five years old. Flaxen ringlets tumbled to the cinched waist of her robes. Murky chocolate brown eyes-inherited from Blaise-were intermingled with the occasional silver shimmer. Her skin was bronzed, also coming from Blaise. "Aglaia, this is Severus, your godfather."
Aglaia ventured forth, glancing back at Draco uncertainly only recieving an encouraging nod from him. With pink tinted cheeks she smiled bashfully. Severus knelt to the ground, doing his best to return to the smile. Severus tenderly spoke, "Hi." This was his godchild. How strange that this little girl could make him grin so easily.
"Hi," Aglaia twisted the hem of her sleeve in her fingers.
The door opened, Aglaia latching onto Severus and cautiously peeking from behind him. Draco's voice was harsh. "What are you doing here?" Aglaia huddled deeper into Severus's robes. He turned, eyes widening at who he saw.
~ ~ ~
Ah, cliffhangers are glorious. The Draco mpreg thing came to me while I was listening to a song plus it adds angst once you see who showed up. :D
Aglaia was a Grace in greek mythology. She was beautiful and gentle. She became Hephaestus's wife after he tired of Aphrodite's infedilities
This is what I picture Aglaia looking like except with blonde hair. If you put it in the search bar make sure to close the spaces. http : / / www . manganeo . com / helloworld / majo / illust / chibi-m . jpg
Thanks to: Corgi (I will most certainly try to meet your expectations) Immortal Memories (yes, the use of Voldemort's name was not a mistake. With him being deceased, the fear of Voldemort was destroyed) Saavik13 (the rumours were started after Albus left) Kateri, Yxonomei, Sirius's Secret Lover Marie, shadow vampire, Shamus Sev (I'm trying to figure out the meaning of the exclamation point. O.o) mango, frizzy, Cardinal, devi
Review again please :)