Chapter 7
Four hours after the medics had first brought Abby into the emergency room, she was laying flat on her back in the OB ward. She was hooked up to various forms of medical equipment: heart monitors, pulse OX cables, a fetal monitor and numerous IV's. An ultrasound technician was scheduled to come in and perform a scan to determine just how much of the amniotic fluid was lost when Abby's membranes had ruptured earlier that morning.
A blonde nurse poked her head around the curtain isolating Abby from the other patient in her semi-private room. "Miss Lockhart? Dr. Coburn wants me to check your cervix, to see if you have dilated at all since you were admitted.
Mutely, Abby nodded her head and allowed the nurse to pull back the bed sheet. She cringed at the nurse's fingers as she probed her cervix, a tear making its way down her cheek. This was happening way too early. If she went into labour, there was a ninety-nine percent mortality rate for infants born before 22 weeks. She would lose her baby.
The nurse withdrew her hand and pulled the covers back over Abby's form. "Well, I see no dilation at all." She smiled slightly at Abby, "The ultrasound tech will be here in about half an hour and we will have a better idea as to what we are dealing with. Is there anything you need? Breakfast perhaps?"
"No thank you. I'm not hungry."
The nurse nodded and patted Abby on the knee. "Chelsea has called Dr. Kovac in New York and he will be flying in on the four o'clock flight from Manhattan. It was the first plane he could get on. I guess lots of people are travelling right now."
"Yeah." Abby mumbled and closed her eyes. "Thank you."
"No problem." The nurse left, leaving Abby alone.
Slowly tears fell down Abby's pale face. She didn't need an ultrasound tech to tell her what she already knew. Having been an OB nurse for years herself, Abby knew that the amount of fluid she lost was significant enough that the membranes had no chance of resealing. She was either going to develop an infection or go into labour in the next twelve hours.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Forty-five minutes later the tech and Dr. Coburn confirmed the worst. The membranes had fully ruptured and the baby was moving lower in the uterus. There was little or no chance of them resealing to the extent needed for Abby to carry the child for the next four months until it was full term. Still, she and Dr. Coburn had decided to give the baby the best shot possible, however dismal the outcome appeared to be.
Abby was to be bedridden and put on drugs to attempt to stop any premature labour. She was also put on a preventive course of antibiotics because of the huge risk of infection to the baby or herself. She was admitted to the hospital and her only views into the outside world were a window looking into the city and a small 10" TV above her bed.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Much later that afternoon, a nurse approached the sleeping Abby in her private room. She had been moved in there away from labouring, full term mothers immediately after they had gotten the heart breaking news. Abby had been so distraught that they sedated her to keep her calm. Hesitantly, the nurse gently inserted a thermometer into Abby's ear. They had been monitoring her temperature constantly to make sure they had early detection of any infections.
The nurse cringed as the thermometer beeped, she didn't want Abby to wake up. She sighed in relief as she noted Abby's temperature at 98.7 degrees, a very normal reading. Although Abby hadn't worked in OB for over three years, most of the nursing staff knew and liked her. They were all pulling for her and the baby, yet they knew the chances of the infant's survival were next to none.
As the nurse wrote down her vitals, Abby stirred in the bed. She squinted up at the figure beside her bed and upon recognizing her old friend from her OB days Abby opened her eyes fully. "Anita? What is going on?"
Anita pulled up the chair beside Abby's bed and sat down. "Hey girl. I'm just checking your vitals. When membranes rupture, we have to check your temperature once an hour to catch any developing infection."
Abby nodded, she knew that. She felt like she had sandpaper in her throat as she tried to speak. "Was there any fever?" She managed to squeak out.
"No honey, there is no evidence of any infection right now. All your vitals are normal." She placed her hand supportively on Abby's forearm. "We are all pulling for you up here. Everyone wants to see this little baby born safe and sound in about four months from now."
"Anita. You know there is literally no chance of that happening." Abby covered her eyes with her hand, "Once the membranes are gone, all that is left is infection and extremely premature labour."
Anita was at a loss for words, knowing Abby was right but she struggled to find something encouraging to say. "Well, if we can keep everything going okay, maybe there is some hope for a membrane reseal. You would have to stay in bed, but in three or four months we can deliver this baby as happy and healthy as a clam."
Abby knew her friend was just trying to comfort her. "Let's hope then." Suddenly she remembered about Luka, "Anita. Do you know when Luka is going to be here?" She knew that she had been told what flight he was on but for some reason she just couldn't remember. In fact, she didn't even know what time it was right now.
"He was supposed to be on the four o'clock but apparently in New York it is snowing very heavily and all flights have been delayed a few hours. It is just four o'clock now and I'll keep an eye on the weather reports over there and let you know when I know he is coming in." Anita wanted to stay but she had five other patients on her service that needed to be seen. "Listen hon, I have to go check on some other patients but I'll check back in with you before my shift ends at seven. I'm pulling for you honey, everyone is. Just stay positive."
"Thank you Anita." Abby smiled at her friend as she left the room. Sighing, she looked out the window beside her bed at the darkening February sky. Snow had begun to fall lightly and it was a gorgeous evening. But inside Abby did not feel the peacefulness she saw outside. A small ball of panic was swimming deep within her belly. It was a feeling of remote terror, a hopeless desperation that only a mother could feel when she is trying to protect her baby from any harm. Absently, Abby placed a quivering hand on her belly. "I'm so sorry sweetheart." She closed her eyes and drifted into a troubled sleep. A sleep where images of her child as a baby, a toddler, a teenager and as a mother filled her mind. Intense sadness enveloped Abby from all sides, hitting her in the stomach, the head and landing heavily on her heart.
* * * * `* * * * * * * *
Close to 11pm that night, Abby's hospital room was very dark as the only light provided was from the lighting in the hallway outside her room. All that could be heard was the beeping of the EKG and fetal monitors and her own shallow breathing. Silently, a dark figure slipped into the room and stood in the doorway, staring sadly at the figure sleeping in the bed. He slipped off his warm, black gloves and loosened the tie around his as he made his way towards the sleeping woman, sitting down in the chair beside her bed.
Softly, he brought his large, warm hand gently up to Abby's face and stroked her cheek tenderly. As he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her face, he took a quick glance at the monitors, noting that both mother and baby's hearts were beating strongly. Wrapping his fingers in hers, the man caressed the palm of her hand and leaned forward in his chair.
As he was watching her, Abby's eyes flickered open searching the in the darkness for something familiar. She had sensed a presence in the room and could smell something familiar. It was Luka's cologne.
"Luka?" Abby whispered, not quite sure if she was dreaming or not. She could feel his hand in hers and turned her head toward his body. "Are you there?"
Luka squeezed her hand in response. "I'm right here Abby." He turned on the soft light beside her bed. His heart ached as he saw her in the light; it was evident that she had been crying. Freshly dried tear tracks stained her face and her eyes were red and swollen where she had been wiping them. "I just got in, it is a real mess out there. My flight was delayed for several hours and traffic here in Chicago was all backed up because of the snow."
Abby nodded, "Oh."
Luka looked down at her hand entwined in his then back up at her face, "How are you doing? I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when this all happened."
"Its okay, I've been sleeping most of the day. Dr. Coburn gave me some Ativan and I've been on huge doses of antibiotics. Apparently so far I haven't had a fever or dilated at all."
Luka nodded, "I know. I spoke with the charge nurse before I came in here." He stopped, unsure of what to say next.
"Luka, I can't lose this baby." Abby pleaded with him silently, desperately trying not to fall into a sobbing heap. She didn't want Luka to see her cry.
"I know, Abby. I'm so sorry." He could see her struggling, fighting not to let herself lose control. "Abby its okay. Come here." He leaned forward, trying to pull her into his arms. She resisted, trying to pull away and not lose herself. She knew that she was only seconds away from tears and any comfort he showed would only throw her over the point of no return. Rolling over on her side, she put her back to him and curled up, trying to make herself untouchable.
Luka didn't give up. "Abby, its okay." He gently pulled on her shoulders until she turned over and was facing him again. She sat up and he pulled her to his body and wrapped his arms around her shaking form. "It's okay," he soothed, whispering in her ear, "just let it out. You are safe with me."
That was all the encouragement Abby needed to let loose. Fierce sobs started deep within her belly and travelled up, emitting from her body in loud gasps. She clung to Luka for dear life as the tears bubbled up and over, threatening to drown her in their intensity. "Oh, god," she cried, "this can't happen." She was grabbing at Luka's shirt as the extreme emotional torture made her heart feel as if it was breaking in two.
Not letting go of her, Luka got up and climbed onto the bed with her, leaning his back against the pillows, pulling her into his lap like a child. She curled up against him and tucked her head underneath his chin. Through her tears, she was trying to pull herself even closer to his warm, comforting body. Luka was rubbing her back in circles, attempting to calm her as he whispered softly in her ear.
Gradually, Abby's sobs quieted and all that could be heard in the room was her occasional gasps for air as her body began to collapse in both physical and emotional exhaustion. Luka hadn't moved but continued to comfort her the best he could with his voice and hand on her back. He could feel her body relaxing as exhaustion won over and her breathing slowly returned to normal.
A nurse passing by in the hallway had heard Abby's sobs and paused to look in the doorway. She had seen Dr. Kovac pull the weeping Abby into his lap as he lay on the bed with her. Worried that she may become so worked up she would do into labour, the nurse went to grab another dose of tranquilizers. When she returned, Abby had calmed down significantly and was still on Luka's lap, her head tucked underneath his chin. He was rubbing her back comfortingly and the nurse could see that Abby's eyes were growing heavy and slowly closing. Quietly she entered the room and approached the bed. "Dr. Kovac? Dr. Coburn has a standing order for sedatives for Miss Lockhart. I'm going to administer another dose, help calm her down a little.
Luka nodded his head at the nurse's request. "Let me give it to her when she is ready. I don't want to disturb her right now." He could tell that Abby was still awake but didn't really comprehend what was going on around her. She needed to pull herself back together and he wasn't about to let anyone disturb her right now, especially since she seemed to be calming.
The nurse pondered this for a second. Deciding that would be okay, after all he was a doctor, she left the syringe on the bedside table with the vial of tranquilizer.
Luka thanked her and she left, pulling the curtain around the bed so they would have a little privacy.
After a few minutes, Luka slowly extracted himself from underneath Abby. She had fallen into a light sleep but her eyes opened as he moved from the bed. She moaned in protest, "No Luka, don't go." She tried to grab his hand and pull him back on the bed.
He gently freed his hand from hers. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here in the chair. But you need to get some sleep." He gently manoeuvred her so she was lying back down on the bed and untangled her legs from the sheets. He pulled the white hospital sheet back over her body as well as the blanket. Frowning at the thin blue blanket, he opened the large cupboard beside the bed and pulled out a thick, warmer, wool blanket. He carefully spread the blanket over Abby, tucking it in along the sides of the bed.
He leaned up and kissed her forehead. "Abby? The nurse brought some Ativan for you to have and it will help you sleep. I'm just going to give it to you now okay?"
At her nearly unnoticeable nod, he drew out a dose of the drug from the vial and with latex gloved hands, administered the liquid into Abby's IV port. He withdrew the needle and discarded it in the bio box along with his gloves. "There you go." He brushed his hand along the side of Abby's face and leaned back into the chair. He smiled reassuringly at her as she watched him, her eyes drifting closed as the drugs quickly took affect. Minutes later she was sound asleep.
A nurse came in an offered him a cot, which he quickly accepted. He was very tired after his day of travelling and from the emotional stress since he had found out that morning that Abby had been taken to the hospital. Drawing his own blanket up to his ears, Luka fell into a deep sleep, his hand still entwined in Abby's as they slept.
Four hours after the medics had first brought Abby into the emergency room, she was laying flat on her back in the OB ward. She was hooked up to various forms of medical equipment: heart monitors, pulse OX cables, a fetal monitor and numerous IV's. An ultrasound technician was scheduled to come in and perform a scan to determine just how much of the amniotic fluid was lost when Abby's membranes had ruptured earlier that morning.
A blonde nurse poked her head around the curtain isolating Abby from the other patient in her semi-private room. "Miss Lockhart? Dr. Coburn wants me to check your cervix, to see if you have dilated at all since you were admitted.
Mutely, Abby nodded her head and allowed the nurse to pull back the bed sheet. She cringed at the nurse's fingers as she probed her cervix, a tear making its way down her cheek. This was happening way too early. If she went into labour, there was a ninety-nine percent mortality rate for infants born before 22 weeks. She would lose her baby.
The nurse withdrew her hand and pulled the covers back over Abby's form. "Well, I see no dilation at all." She smiled slightly at Abby, "The ultrasound tech will be here in about half an hour and we will have a better idea as to what we are dealing with. Is there anything you need? Breakfast perhaps?"
"No thank you. I'm not hungry."
The nurse nodded and patted Abby on the knee. "Chelsea has called Dr. Kovac in New York and he will be flying in on the four o'clock flight from Manhattan. It was the first plane he could get on. I guess lots of people are travelling right now."
"Yeah." Abby mumbled and closed her eyes. "Thank you."
"No problem." The nurse left, leaving Abby alone.
Slowly tears fell down Abby's pale face. She didn't need an ultrasound tech to tell her what she already knew. Having been an OB nurse for years herself, Abby knew that the amount of fluid she lost was significant enough that the membranes had no chance of resealing. She was either going to develop an infection or go into labour in the next twelve hours.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Forty-five minutes later the tech and Dr. Coburn confirmed the worst. The membranes had fully ruptured and the baby was moving lower in the uterus. There was little or no chance of them resealing to the extent needed for Abby to carry the child for the next four months until it was full term. Still, she and Dr. Coburn had decided to give the baby the best shot possible, however dismal the outcome appeared to be.
Abby was to be bedridden and put on drugs to attempt to stop any premature labour. She was also put on a preventive course of antibiotics because of the huge risk of infection to the baby or herself. She was admitted to the hospital and her only views into the outside world were a window looking into the city and a small 10" TV above her bed.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Much later that afternoon, a nurse approached the sleeping Abby in her private room. She had been moved in there away from labouring, full term mothers immediately after they had gotten the heart breaking news. Abby had been so distraught that they sedated her to keep her calm. Hesitantly, the nurse gently inserted a thermometer into Abby's ear. They had been monitoring her temperature constantly to make sure they had early detection of any infections.
The nurse cringed as the thermometer beeped, she didn't want Abby to wake up. She sighed in relief as she noted Abby's temperature at 98.7 degrees, a very normal reading. Although Abby hadn't worked in OB for over three years, most of the nursing staff knew and liked her. They were all pulling for her and the baby, yet they knew the chances of the infant's survival were next to none.
As the nurse wrote down her vitals, Abby stirred in the bed. She squinted up at the figure beside her bed and upon recognizing her old friend from her OB days Abby opened her eyes fully. "Anita? What is going on?"
Anita pulled up the chair beside Abby's bed and sat down. "Hey girl. I'm just checking your vitals. When membranes rupture, we have to check your temperature once an hour to catch any developing infection."
Abby nodded, she knew that. She felt like she had sandpaper in her throat as she tried to speak. "Was there any fever?" She managed to squeak out.
"No honey, there is no evidence of any infection right now. All your vitals are normal." She placed her hand supportively on Abby's forearm. "We are all pulling for you up here. Everyone wants to see this little baby born safe and sound in about four months from now."
"Anita. You know there is literally no chance of that happening." Abby covered her eyes with her hand, "Once the membranes are gone, all that is left is infection and extremely premature labour."
Anita was at a loss for words, knowing Abby was right but she struggled to find something encouraging to say. "Well, if we can keep everything going okay, maybe there is some hope for a membrane reseal. You would have to stay in bed, but in three or four months we can deliver this baby as happy and healthy as a clam."
Abby knew her friend was just trying to comfort her. "Let's hope then." Suddenly she remembered about Luka, "Anita. Do you know when Luka is going to be here?" She knew that she had been told what flight he was on but for some reason she just couldn't remember. In fact, she didn't even know what time it was right now.
"He was supposed to be on the four o'clock but apparently in New York it is snowing very heavily and all flights have been delayed a few hours. It is just four o'clock now and I'll keep an eye on the weather reports over there and let you know when I know he is coming in." Anita wanted to stay but she had five other patients on her service that needed to be seen. "Listen hon, I have to go check on some other patients but I'll check back in with you before my shift ends at seven. I'm pulling for you honey, everyone is. Just stay positive."
"Thank you Anita." Abby smiled at her friend as she left the room. Sighing, she looked out the window beside her bed at the darkening February sky. Snow had begun to fall lightly and it was a gorgeous evening. But inside Abby did not feel the peacefulness she saw outside. A small ball of panic was swimming deep within her belly. It was a feeling of remote terror, a hopeless desperation that only a mother could feel when she is trying to protect her baby from any harm. Absently, Abby placed a quivering hand on her belly. "I'm so sorry sweetheart." She closed her eyes and drifted into a troubled sleep. A sleep where images of her child as a baby, a toddler, a teenager and as a mother filled her mind. Intense sadness enveloped Abby from all sides, hitting her in the stomach, the head and landing heavily on her heart.
* * * * `* * * * * * * *
Close to 11pm that night, Abby's hospital room was very dark as the only light provided was from the lighting in the hallway outside her room. All that could be heard was the beeping of the EKG and fetal monitors and her own shallow breathing. Silently, a dark figure slipped into the room and stood in the doorway, staring sadly at the figure sleeping in the bed. He slipped off his warm, black gloves and loosened the tie around his as he made his way towards the sleeping woman, sitting down in the chair beside her bed.
Softly, he brought his large, warm hand gently up to Abby's face and stroked her cheek tenderly. As he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her face, he took a quick glance at the monitors, noting that both mother and baby's hearts were beating strongly. Wrapping his fingers in hers, the man caressed the palm of her hand and leaned forward in his chair.
As he was watching her, Abby's eyes flickered open searching the in the darkness for something familiar. She had sensed a presence in the room and could smell something familiar. It was Luka's cologne.
"Luka?" Abby whispered, not quite sure if she was dreaming or not. She could feel his hand in hers and turned her head toward his body. "Are you there?"
Luka squeezed her hand in response. "I'm right here Abby." He turned on the soft light beside her bed. His heart ached as he saw her in the light; it was evident that she had been crying. Freshly dried tear tracks stained her face and her eyes were red and swollen where she had been wiping them. "I just got in, it is a real mess out there. My flight was delayed for several hours and traffic here in Chicago was all backed up because of the snow."
Abby nodded, "Oh."
Luka looked down at her hand entwined in his then back up at her face, "How are you doing? I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when this all happened."
"Its okay, I've been sleeping most of the day. Dr. Coburn gave me some Ativan and I've been on huge doses of antibiotics. Apparently so far I haven't had a fever or dilated at all."
Luka nodded, "I know. I spoke with the charge nurse before I came in here." He stopped, unsure of what to say next.
"Luka, I can't lose this baby." Abby pleaded with him silently, desperately trying not to fall into a sobbing heap. She didn't want Luka to see her cry.
"I know, Abby. I'm so sorry." He could see her struggling, fighting not to let herself lose control. "Abby its okay. Come here." He leaned forward, trying to pull her into his arms. She resisted, trying to pull away and not lose herself. She knew that she was only seconds away from tears and any comfort he showed would only throw her over the point of no return. Rolling over on her side, she put her back to him and curled up, trying to make herself untouchable.
Luka didn't give up. "Abby, its okay." He gently pulled on her shoulders until she turned over and was facing him again. She sat up and he pulled her to his body and wrapped his arms around her shaking form. "It's okay," he soothed, whispering in her ear, "just let it out. You are safe with me."
That was all the encouragement Abby needed to let loose. Fierce sobs started deep within her belly and travelled up, emitting from her body in loud gasps. She clung to Luka for dear life as the tears bubbled up and over, threatening to drown her in their intensity. "Oh, god," she cried, "this can't happen." She was grabbing at Luka's shirt as the extreme emotional torture made her heart feel as if it was breaking in two.
Not letting go of her, Luka got up and climbed onto the bed with her, leaning his back against the pillows, pulling her into his lap like a child. She curled up against him and tucked her head underneath his chin. Through her tears, she was trying to pull herself even closer to his warm, comforting body. Luka was rubbing her back in circles, attempting to calm her as he whispered softly in her ear.
Gradually, Abby's sobs quieted and all that could be heard in the room was her occasional gasps for air as her body began to collapse in both physical and emotional exhaustion. Luka hadn't moved but continued to comfort her the best he could with his voice and hand on her back. He could feel her body relaxing as exhaustion won over and her breathing slowly returned to normal.
A nurse passing by in the hallway had heard Abby's sobs and paused to look in the doorway. She had seen Dr. Kovac pull the weeping Abby into his lap as he lay on the bed with her. Worried that she may become so worked up she would do into labour, the nurse went to grab another dose of tranquilizers. When she returned, Abby had calmed down significantly and was still on Luka's lap, her head tucked underneath his chin. He was rubbing her back comfortingly and the nurse could see that Abby's eyes were growing heavy and slowly closing. Quietly she entered the room and approached the bed. "Dr. Kovac? Dr. Coburn has a standing order for sedatives for Miss Lockhart. I'm going to administer another dose, help calm her down a little.
Luka nodded his head at the nurse's request. "Let me give it to her when she is ready. I don't want to disturb her right now." He could tell that Abby was still awake but didn't really comprehend what was going on around her. She needed to pull herself back together and he wasn't about to let anyone disturb her right now, especially since she seemed to be calming.
The nurse pondered this for a second. Deciding that would be okay, after all he was a doctor, she left the syringe on the bedside table with the vial of tranquilizer.
Luka thanked her and she left, pulling the curtain around the bed so they would have a little privacy.
After a few minutes, Luka slowly extracted himself from underneath Abby. She had fallen into a light sleep but her eyes opened as he moved from the bed. She moaned in protest, "No Luka, don't go." She tried to grab his hand and pull him back on the bed.
He gently freed his hand from hers. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here in the chair. But you need to get some sleep." He gently manoeuvred her so she was lying back down on the bed and untangled her legs from the sheets. He pulled the white hospital sheet back over her body as well as the blanket. Frowning at the thin blue blanket, he opened the large cupboard beside the bed and pulled out a thick, warmer, wool blanket. He carefully spread the blanket over Abby, tucking it in along the sides of the bed.
He leaned up and kissed her forehead. "Abby? The nurse brought some Ativan for you to have and it will help you sleep. I'm just going to give it to you now okay?"
At her nearly unnoticeable nod, he drew out a dose of the drug from the vial and with latex gloved hands, administered the liquid into Abby's IV port. He withdrew the needle and discarded it in the bio box along with his gloves. "There you go." He brushed his hand along the side of Abby's face and leaned back into the chair. He smiled reassuringly at her as she watched him, her eyes drifting closed as the drugs quickly took affect. Minutes later she was sound asleep.
A nurse came in an offered him a cot, which he quickly accepted. He was very tired after his day of travelling and from the emotional stress since he had found out that morning that Abby had been taken to the hospital. Drawing his own blanket up to his ears, Luka fell into a deep sleep, his hand still entwined in Abby's as they slept.