~Surrender - Chapter 5~
"Seth?"
"Hmmm?" Seth decided this was the most comfortable and relaxed he'd been in, well, ever. The hot tub was pretty "aahhh" inducing, but that didn't even come close to lying here holding Summer, her back warm against his chest. Nothing compared to this. People in general would be a lot happier, and nicer to one another if everyone would just spoon more often. He was glad they'd let Ryan and Marissa sleep in that morning in the crappy motel. Seth didn't care if both of them were denying it at the time, he knew they cared about each other, and waking up spooning was probably the only time either of them had woke up happy in a very long time. For damn sure it was the last time either of them had.
"You awake?"
"Mmm hmm." He was pretty tired, but couldn't sleep due to that disbelieving part of his psyche that needed to verify continuously that he was indeed on a bed with Summer, it was a fact he was holding her tiny body against his, and that was for sure her hand holding his. Any second now a little voice would start in again. 'Did you know Summer is your girlfriend? Is that true? Are you sure? You better go over the conversation again. Just to make sure. Ask her.' He told the voice to shut up, and opened his eyes. "What's goin on? Can't you sleep?"
Summer kept remembering Luke's eyes looking past her tonight to Ryan. Then Seth. Assessing the situation. She'd seen Luke go after Seth for no reason at all many times; didn't matter if Ryan was there or not, but tonight Luke hadn't moved. He had looked wary. And - outnumbered. "Something keeps bugging me. Why were you so different with Luke tonight?"
"It was a different situation." Seth was uncomfortable talking about Luke. "He uh, threatened you."
"Seth, you interrupted him and forced him to answer me. You've barely ever looked him in the eye before."
"So?"
"Listen, he's made your life miserable since you were 8. You -"
"Do we really need to talk about Luke kicking my ass 100 times? Not something I'm real proud of."
She turned over and looked at him. "That's what I'm saying! Tonight, you told him what to do, and he DID it. In front of everyone."
"Ryan was there. He was scared of Ryan."
"So what would have happened if Ryan weren't there? Just you?"
Seth thought about the emotion that had ripped through him when Luke raised his fist to her. He'd felt the same way once before, when he'd visited Ryan in Juvie and seen the obvious fork marks in his neck. Rage, and the need to punish whoever had done that to his friend had filled him instantly and stayed for days. "I would have still gone to help you." The words came slowly.
"You weren't even scared of him, were you?"
"No. Well, it didn't matter if I was, I wasn't going to let him hurt you."
Summer's voice was very soft. "So why do you let him hurt you?"
"Because I -" Seth stopped. What was he about to say? He was used to it? It was a way of life? He didn't matter, but she did? "I don't want to talk about this."
Summer was reading his mind. " I'm sorry for every crappy thing I ever said to you before I knew what you were really like. You matter to me, and Ryan and Marissa. If Luke tries anything with you again, I expect you to react like you did tonight. Got it?"
Seth was very quiet. He suddenly had a very good idea how Ryan felt sometimes, living with a family that cared. Something he'd never had before.
*****
"So is Summer still asleep?" Seth got the cereal and milk as Ryan set out their bowls and spoons.
"Uh huh."
"Your mom and dad leave already?" Yesterday, Kirsten had mentioned some work-related things to do today and Sandy had offered to keep her company.
"Yup."
Ryan watched his friend sit down across from him. He was sure Seth woke up talking to his sheets in the morning and pretty much didn't stop all day except while eating or singing along with his favorite songs. Which was still technically talking. But so far this morning, nothing. "Seth, I'M the quiet one."
"Yeah."
"What's up, man?" He had a pretty good idea.
"Nothin'."
Ryan made a mental note to try talking more. Seth was really annoying this way.
Summer shuffled into the room then, half asleep and still in her clothes from last night. She went to Seth on the stool, stopped behind him and slid her arms around his waist. Her cheek settled against his back and she closed her eyes again, leaning into him.
Ryan lowered his spoon into the bowl, put an elbow on the counter and dropped his chin to his palm, looking at Seth expectantly. Breakfast had just gotten very interesting. It took real effort not to laugh out loud at the expression on Seth's face. He was trying to play it cool, but every few seconds Ryan could glimpse his real feelings. He looked kinda like he'd just found Bucky Lasek and Bob Burnquist at the door, asking him to come out and play. Or discovered a Lamborghini in the driveway with his name on it. Years of stoicism were the only thing keeping just a hint of a smile playing on Ryan's mouth.
"Morning, Summer. You want some breakfast?" Ryan was beginning to think she'd fallen asleep against Seth back.
"You guys always get up this early on Saturday?" Her voice was muffled.
"Yeah, we're in a hopeless rut."
Seth finally turned on the stool to face her. She automatically slipped her arms around his neck. "Hey. You don't have to get up just cause we are, you know."
"You sure? Cuz I'm really tired. Your mom and dad?"
"Are gone for the day." He finished for her. "We were up pretty late. Come on, you're going back to bed." He put an arm around her and walked her back to the den.
When he returned to the kitchen, Ryan was reading a comic book. He spoke without looking up. "So. She was just draped all over you, and you finish her sentences now. Last night must have gone well."
"Yeah, um. It did."
Ryan waited a minute. Seth obviously wasn't going to say anything else. "Seth, you're freaking me out! I've talked more this morning than in the last month, just trying to get YOU started! My system can't take much more. You gonna tell me what happened?"
Seth finally found his tongue. His brain hadn't caught up yet, though. He looked up. "Dude. She was, we were, um, Lord of the Rings and she knows Peter Jackson and uh, and that fire thing again, and then she was gonna hit me, and she bribed me with sex so I'd kiss her, and um, yeah." He looked down at his cereal. "Yeah."
Ryan had sat back and crossed his arms at the beginning of Seth's ramble, expecting something a little more coherent. His eyebrows hit his hairline at the "bribed with sex" part. He was almost sorry he'd asked now. "Seth. That made no sense. Seth!"
Seth looked up. "Huh?"
"Sex?"
"Yeah. I mean - no. She said I'd, uh no." He shook his head. "But she's my - she's my - she's into me. So it's possible. Someday." He looked thrilled and alarmed at the thought.
That expression sent Ryan over the edge. He couldn't take it anymore and laughed. Seth focused on him and smiled.
"So you're together now? She's your girlfriend?"
Seth nodded happily.
"That's awesome, man. I told you, didn't I?"
He nodded again. "She really likes me, Ryan." He looked down at his bowl again.
"I'm glad. Shows she's got some brains."
Seth turned red. "Thanks, dude."
They finished breakfast in silence. Ryan wished he had some idea what his future held with Marissa. From past experience with his mom, he knew rehab meant she wasn't allowed visitors with anyone other than a member of her family for a period of time, and her parents hadn't exactly been forthcoming with details. He knew she needed to be on her own to get a handle on the problems that were overwhelming her, he just wished he knew how she was, and what she was thinking. The last time he'd seen her she was still unconscious, lying pale and frail on a gurney headed down a hall away from him. The nurses had refused to let him go with her, so he had retreated to the waiting area with Seth and Summer. Her parents had rushed in, Julie Cooper making it a point to ignore the three of them, but later Mr. Cooper had appeared long enough to thank them for finding her and bringing her to the hospital so quickly. They didn't know anything about her condition, but he promised he would let them know as soon as he did. Seth's parents had shown up, waiting with them until Mr. Cooper came out to say it looked like she was going to be ok, then they had reluctantly gone home. The only reason they knew Marissa was away in rehab was because Kirsten had happened to see Julie Cooper getting out of her car in her driveway a few days later, and quickly walked over before she got in the house. Seth and Ryan had watched as a very tense, icy conversation ensued; ending with Julie turning her back and walking away while Kirsten was still talking. Seth's mom had returned, face flushed and hands clenched, but all she could tell them was that Marissa was in rehab, and Julie wouldn't tell her anything else. Ryan figured Marissa's mom was blaming it on him.
"What do you want to do today? I was thinking we could go to the pier, or maybe teach Summer the fine art of Playstation. You want to go to the beach? Whatever you want to do, Ryan, tell me." Seth had snapped out of his befuddlement after seeing his friend sinking into brooding mode. He knew Ryan was dying inside not knowing how Marissa was.
A voice came from behind them. "As much as I'm looking forward to learning to kick both your asses on the Playstation, I have an even better idea." Summer held up her cell phone triumphantly.
"Don't tell me, Luke called and wants to take us to lunch?"
"Funny, Seth. No. You guys, I just got a text message from a certain friend of ours."
Seth swung around and Ryan was across the room in an instant.
"See?" She handed the phone to Ryan. He read aloud to Seth. "Please come. Bring R & S. Then there's an address. I don't know where this is, do you?" Summer shook her head and Seth came over to look. "I don't either but I'll look it up on the computer while you get cleaned up, Summer. Get moving."
She kissed him quickly and looked over her shoulder as she walked away. "Hmmm. Authority boy. I might like that."
Seth decided to push his luck. "You already do. Admit it."
She saluted him. "Ok. But don't get used to bossing me around. Everyone knows who's in control here." She smiled sweetly then and disappeared around the corner.
Seth looked at Ryan. "Everyone knows, dude. Do you know?"
Ryan nodded. "Yep. It's not you, man."
"That's what I thought."
*****
"Seth?"
"Hmmm?" Seth decided this was the most comfortable and relaxed he'd been in, well, ever. The hot tub was pretty "aahhh" inducing, but that didn't even come close to lying here holding Summer, her back warm against his chest. Nothing compared to this. People in general would be a lot happier, and nicer to one another if everyone would just spoon more often. He was glad they'd let Ryan and Marissa sleep in that morning in the crappy motel. Seth didn't care if both of them were denying it at the time, he knew they cared about each other, and waking up spooning was probably the only time either of them had woke up happy in a very long time. For damn sure it was the last time either of them had.
"You awake?"
"Mmm hmm." He was pretty tired, but couldn't sleep due to that disbelieving part of his psyche that needed to verify continuously that he was indeed on a bed with Summer, it was a fact he was holding her tiny body against his, and that was for sure her hand holding his. Any second now a little voice would start in again. 'Did you know Summer is your girlfriend? Is that true? Are you sure? You better go over the conversation again. Just to make sure. Ask her.' He told the voice to shut up, and opened his eyes. "What's goin on? Can't you sleep?"
Summer kept remembering Luke's eyes looking past her tonight to Ryan. Then Seth. Assessing the situation. She'd seen Luke go after Seth for no reason at all many times; didn't matter if Ryan was there or not, but tonight Luke hadn't moved. He had looked wary. And - outnumbered. "Something keeps bugging me. Why were you so different with Luke tonight?"
"It was a different situation." Seth was uncomfortable talking about Luke. "He uh, threatened you."
"Seth, you interrupted him and forced him to answer me. You've barely ever looked him in the eye before."
"So?"
"Listen, he's made your life miserable since you were 8. You -"
"Do we really need to talk about Luke kicking my ass 100 times? Not something I'm real proud of."
She turned over and looked at him. "That's what I'm saying! Tonight, you told him what to do, and he DID it. In front of everyone."
"Ryan was there. He was scared of Ryan."
"So what would have happened if Ryan weren't there? Just you?"
Seth thought about the emotion that had ripped through him when Luke raised his fist to her. He'd felt the same way once before, when he'd visited Ryan in Juvie and seen the obvious fork marks in his neck. Rage, and the need to punish whoever had done that to his friend had filled him instantly and stayed for days. "I would have still gone to help you." The words came slowly.
"You weren't even scared of him, were you?"
"No. Well, it didn't matter if I was, I wasn't going to let him hurt you."
Summer's voice was very soft. "So why do you let him hurt you?"
"Because I -" Seth stopped. What was he about to say? He was used to it? It was a way of life? He didn't matter, but she did? "I don't want to talk about this."
Summer was reading his mind. " I'm sorry for every crappy thing I ever said to you before I knew what you were really like. You matter to me, and Ryan and Marissa. If Luke tries anything with you again, I expect you to react like you did tonight. Got it?"
Seth was very quiet. He suddenly had a very good idea how Ryan felt sometimes, living with a family that cared. Something he'd never had before.
*****
"So is Summer still asleep?" Seth got the cereal and milk as Ryan set out their bowls and spoons.
"Uh huh."
"Your mom and dad leave already?" Yesterday, Kirsten had mentioned some work-related things to do today and Sandy had offered to keep her company.
"Yup."
Ryan watched his friend sit down across from him. He was sure Seth woke up talking to his sheets in the morning and pretty much didn't stop all day except while eating or singing along with his favorite songs. Which was still technically talking. But so far this morning, nothing. "Seth, I'M the quiet one."
"Yeah."
"What's up, man?" He had a pretty good idea.
"Nothin'."
Ryan made a mental note to try talking more. Seth was really annoying this way.
Summer shuffled into the room then, half asleep and still in her clothes from last night. She went to Seth on the stool, stopped behind him and slid her arms around his waist. Her cheek settled against his back and she closed her eyes again, leaning into him.
Ryan lowered his spoon into the bowl, put an elbow on the counter and dropped his chin to his palm, looking at Seth expectantly. Breakfast had just gotten very interesting. It took real effort not to laugh out loud at the expression on Seth's face. He was trying to play it cool, but every few seconds Ryan could glimpse his real feelings. He looked kinda like he'd just found Bucky Lasek and Bob Burnquist at the door, asking him to come out and play. Or discovered a Lamborghini in the driveway with his name on it. Years of stoicism were the only thing keeping just a hint of a smile playing on Ryan's mouth.
"Morning, Summer. You want some breakfast?" Ryan was beginning to think she'd fallen asleep against Seth back.
"You guys always get up this early on Saturday?" Her voice was muffled.
"Yeah, we're in a hopeless rut."
Seth finally turned on the stool to face her. She automatically slipped her arms around his neck. "Hey. You don't have to get up just cause we are, you know."
"You sure? Cuz I'm really tired. Your mom and dad?"
"Are gone for the day." He finished for her. "We were up pretty late. Come on, you're going back to bed." He put an arm around her and walked her back to the den.
When he returned to the kitchen, Ryan was reading a comic book. He spoke without looking up. "So. She was just draped all over you, and you finish her sentences now. Last night must have gone well."
"Yeah, um. It did."
Ryan waited a minute. Seth obviously wasn't going to say anything else. "Seth, you're freaking me out! I've talked more this morning than in the last month, just trying to get YOU started! My system can't take much more. You gonna tell me what happened?"
Seth finally found his tongue. His brain hadn't caught up yet, though. He looked up. "Dude. She was, we were, um, Lord of the Rings and she knows Peter Jackson and uh, and that fire thing again, and then she was gonna hit me, and she bribed me with sex so I'd kiss her, and um, yeah." He looked down at his cereal. "Yeah."
Ryan had sat back and crossed his arms at the beginning of Seth's ramble, expecting something a little more coherent. His eyebrows hit his hairline at the "bribed with sex" part. He was almost sorry he'd asked now. "Seth. That made no sense. Seth!"
Seth looked up. "Huh?"
"Sex?"
"Yeah. I mean - no. She said I'd, uh no." He shook his head. "But she's my - she's my - she's into me. So it's possible. Someday." He looked thrilled and alarmed at the thought.
That expression sent Ryan over the edge. He couldn't take it anymore and laughed. Seth focused on him and smiled.
"So you're together now? She's your girlfriend?"
Seth nodded happily.
"That's awesome, man. I told you, didn't I?"
He nodded again. "She really likes me, Ryan." He looked down at his bowl again.
"I'm glad. Shows she's got some brains."
Seth turned red. "Thanks, dude."
They finished breakfast in silence. Ryan wished he had some idea what his future held with Marissa. From past experience with his mom, he knew rehab meant she wasn't allowed visitors with anyone other than a member of her family for a period of time, and her parents hadn't exactly been forthcoming with details. He knew she needed to be on her own to get a handle on the problems that were overwhelming her, he just wished he knew how she was, and what she was thinking. The last time he'd seen her she was still unconscious, lying pale and frail on a gurney headed down a hall away from him. The nurses had refused to let him go with her, so he had retreated to the waiting area with Seth and Summer. Her parents had rushed in, Julie Cooper making it a point to ignore the three of them, but later Mr. Cooper had appeared long enough to thank them for finding her and bringing her to the hospital so quickly. They didn't know anything about her condition, but he promised he would let them know as soon as he did. Seth's parents had shown up, waiting with them until Mr. Cooper came out to say it looked like she was going to be ok, then they had reluctantly gone home. The only reason they knew Marissa was away in rehab was because Kirsten had happened to see Julie Cooper getting out of her car in her driveway a few days later, and quickly walked over before she got in the house. Seth and Ryan had watched as a very tense, icy conversation ensued; ending with Julie turning her back and walking away while Kirsten was still talking. Seth's mom had returned, face flushed and hands clenched, but all she could tell them was that Marissa was in rehab, and Julie wouldn't tell her anything else. Ryan figured Marissa's mom was blaming it on him.
"What do you want to do today? I was thinking we could go to the pier, or maybe teach Summer the fine art of Playstation. You want to go to the beach? Whatever you want to do, Ryan, tell me." Seth had snapped out of his befuddlement after seeing his friend sinking into brooding mode. He knew Ryan was dying inside not knowing how Marissa was.
A voice came from behind them. "As much as I'm looking forward to learning to kick both your asses on the Playstation, I have an even better idea." Summer held up her cell phone triumphantly.
"Don't tell me, Luke called and wants to take us to lunch?"
"Funny, Seth. No. You guys, I just got a text message from a certain friend of ours."
Seth swung around and Ryan was across the room in an instant.
"See?" She handed the phone to Ryan. He read aloud to Seth. "Please come. Bring R & S. Then there's an address. I don't know where this is, do you?" Summer shook her head and Seth came over to look. "I don't either but I'll look it up on the computer while you get cleaned up, Summer. Get moving."
She kissed him quickly and looked over her shoulder as she walked away. "Hmmm. Authority boy. I might like that."
Seth decided to push his luck. "You already do. Admit it."
She saluted him. "Ok. But don't get used to bossing me around. Everyone knows who's in control here." She smiled sweetly then and disappeared around the corner.
Seth looked at Ryan. "Everyone knows, dude. Do you know?"
Ryan nodded. "Yep. It's not you, man."
"That's what I thought."
*****