A/N - Thanks for the kind reviews, everyone! Knowing that you guys are
interested makes this even more fun to write.
-Chapter 6-
Seth turned to Summer beside him in the front seat. "This trip? We're going to have an understanding."
Summer gave him a wide-eyed innocent look.
"I am going to give you the map I printed out, and you are allowed to give helpful, un-confusing, non-shrill directions. You will not criticize my driving, and under no circumstances will you or any part of you cross this line at any time. " He drew an imaginary line between them.
She immediately reached across the line and took his hand. Seth looked down at his hand in hers, then back up at her. She leaned over and kissed him, smiling impishly at him as she returned to her side of the truck.
Seth let out a long sigh and looked at Ryan in the rear-view mirror. "All right then. That went well, don't you think?" Ryan threw a sardonic thumb up. Seth turned to her and took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "Summer. I'm serious. At least promise you won't touch the steering wheel. I can't afford any more repairs."
"Oh THAT. Ok, I promise." She nodded into his hands. Seth smiled in victory and kissed her, almost shyly. It was going to take him a while to get used to full access to Summer's, uh, parts.
Ryan groaned from the back seat. "You guys aren't going to do this all day, are you? Can we at least get there before you make out? Or maybe I should drive? Big back seat here."
"Chill, amigo, we're on our way. I know you're, uh, anxious to get there." Seth started the truck, handed Summer the map, and they hit the road.
Ryan stared out the window, not noticing the passing scenery. He couldn't figure out why Marissa texted instead of just calling. Was she worried about being overheard? Were they not supposed to be going to see her? He didn't want to do anything that would hurt her recovery. His need to see her was overruling that thought for now, though. He had barely slept since they got home from Mexico. He had seen too many grim things in his life, and knew that after a while he'd become sort of immune, or disconnected. Like doctors did, he guessed. Knife wounds, kids convulsing from poor quality drugs, his mom's indifferent swig of her drink while her boyfriend was doing some serious damage to her kid; those things still affect you, but not in that deep raw place like before, because if you let them, it would mess you up permanently. But seeing Marissa lying motionless in that dirty alley like a discarded doll had hit him like a freight train. He had known that feeling one other time recently, when he'd seen Luke bleeding on the floor, and had a moment of dread; no, sheer terror actually, until he'd seen Seth in the corner, standing up, not bleeding and not shot. Ryan looked in the rear-view mirror at Seth again. Life was easier for the most part since moving here. The stakes were so much higher now that he'd allowed himself to care, though.
What could she have been thinking? He'd lain awake nights wondering if she'd really meant to end her life, or had just gone overboard trying to make the pain stop for a while. And if she was trying to kill herself, where did that leave him? He knew it was completely stupid and selfish, because her actions were not about him, but he was hurt that he wasn't enough for her. That she felt like she needed to take pills instead of talking to him and letting him help her. Didn't she know he would do anything for her? Ryan closed his eyes and dropped his head back onto the seat as the familiar circle of anxiety wove itself around his brain. At least he knew she wanted to see him now. One fear was laid to rest. He thought maybe he could sleep tonight if he just saw for himself that she was ok, and removed that image from his head of her crumpled on the dirt in the alley.
"Dude."
"Yeah?"
"You doin ok?" Seth had thought Ryan would be happy; they were going to see Marissa after all. Well, not happy, cuz she was in rehab and stuff, but definitely not as sad as he looked right now.
"All good."
Summer turned around in her seat. "Look, other Cohen - wait, is your last name Cohen now? What IS his last name?" She looked to Seth.
"He is a Cohen, as he is a member of the Cohen family. But his last name is Atwood, until he decides otherwise. If, uh, he wants to decide otherwise, which would be SO totally cool. Not to say that he has to, or anything, cuz, you know, that's uh- you know. Cool. And why is that important, Summer?" He caught Ryan's eye in the mirror, worried that he'd offended him. Ryan just looked mildly amused.
"Way to vague that up, Seth, thanks. And since I just recently progressed from "Chino" to "Ryan", I thought I'd go for the whole enchilada. Besides, I sound much more authorative and in charge when using last names." Summer turned back to Ryan.
"Is "authorative" a real word?" Seth cut in.
"Whatever, Cohen. Anyway, poster boy for angst. Give up the pride. Get on the reaching out train. We're here for you."
Seth shook his head. "Summer, you're so - nurturing. In a drill sergeant way."
"Shut up and help Ryan. Make him talk."
"Ah, guys?" Ryan found a small space in the bickering and jumped in. "Thanks, but I'm fine."
Summer shook her head. "You can't be fine and look like the crying Indian commercial at the same time. Reach out, Atwood-Cohen."
He raised an eyebrow at her, considered it for a moment, then figured what the hell. "I'm just worried."
"Very good." She turned to Seth. "He shared, isn't that cool?" She swung back to Ryan. "About what? Marissa? Or about 'you' and Marissa?"
"No. Yeah. Geez I sound like Seth. I just want her to get well. I want her to be ok. But I wish I knew...."
Summer gave up and opened her mouth to speak, but Seth held up a hand. "He does this. Odds are 60 - 40, if you give him a minute? He'll continue."
Ryan shot a 'look' at the back of Seth's head. " I just wish I knew what she was thinking. About a lot of things, and about - well, us." He looked quickly out the window. While it felt kind of good to talk about this, he was not at all comfortable airing his thoughts.
"Everything's kind of up in the air, isn't it?" Summer looked sympathetically at Ryan. "I mean, that morning after she decided not to go home, and head to TJ? The rest of that day was really good right up until the Luke and Holly show. It's obviously over with Luke though, you know."
Ryan looked down and studied the carpet on the truck floor. "I don't know that. She might -"
"Ryan, no. I don't know what she's thinking now, but I can tell you some of what she was thinking that day, cause she told me. You have to understand. Things happened with Luke that made her think she had to stay with him. Her mom is always ragging on her about how Luke is the answer to all her prayers for the future. Financially, ya know. And I mean ALWAYS, even before her dad lost 4 mil or whatever. Marissa's a smart girl, and it being the 21st century and all, you would think her mom would be telling her to study hard and make something of herself, not rely on some guy to take care of her, but I'm sure you know all about Marissa's mom, right? Right. I got off track. Sorry. Julie Cooper rant over. So, what she told me that day. Everyone had her convinced she should be with Luke. You got her all twisted up the night of Seth's grandpa's party."
Ryan closed his eyes and winced at that.
"Hang on, sweetie, I'm not done yet. When we were changing in our room in TJ, she turned to me and said 'Summer, I'm happy today. I woke up happy and it stayed all day.' Poor thing, like she couldn't believe she got a happy day instead of the usual suck-fest." She looked at Seth. "And everyone knows why she woke up happy, don't we?"
Seth grinned while Ryan turned red and looked at the floor again. "Look Ryan, I'll admit I didn't understand what she saw in you back then. But once I saw you guys together that day, it was obvious. She laughed. She smiled. She talked. She acted like a 16-year-old girl instead of someone dragging around a lot of crap. She was glad that you guys had gotten past the bad stuff, and didn't want to screw your friendship up again. So basically Luke was safe, and she had a lot of pressure to stay with him. You made her happy. Now Luke blew it. She won't take him back, because his being a man-whore validates her wanting someone better than him to Mommy dearest. He's out of the picture, if that helps."
Ryan just nodded and looked out the window again. "Thanks, Summer."
"No prob, A.C., I'm here for you." She turned to Seth and whispered. "Did I help?"
"I think so." Seth whispered back. "Why are we whispering again? And uh, A.C.?"
"Atwood -Cohen. Has a nice ring to it, but it's too long. Doesn't flow well in conversation."
Seth nodded as if that made perfect sense. "You could always call him, gee, I don't know, Ryan?"
"Obviously you weren't paying attention when I was going over 'authorative' and 'in charge', Seth."
"Forgive me for my memory lapse, oh talkative one. That was at least an hour back in your monologue. Did I know you talked this much when I decided I liked you? This could have a serious effect on our - "
"On our what?" Summer leaned over and kissed his cheek, then continued down his neck.
Seth sighed. She was always going to win with that, wasn't she? Oh yes. She was. "On our cell phone minutes. Yep, that's definitely what I was going to say."
"Uh huh. It's the next street here. Turn left. There it is."
Ryan was expecting a hospital or something. They were parked in front of what looked like a regular house in a residential area. "Do you see any of the Cooper's vehicles? I have a feeling they would not be happy about us being here."
"No Cooper cars. Should we go to the door?" Summer looked at Ryan.
Ryan shook his head. "Let's wait a minute and see if she comes out. I'm not sure if we're supposed to be here, even."
*****
-Chapter 6-
Seth turned to Summer beside him in the front seat. "This trip? We're going to have an understanding."
Summer gave him a wide-eyed innocent look.
"I am going to give you the map I printed out, and you are allowed to give helpful, un-confusing, non-shrill directions. You will not criticize my driving, and under no circumstances will you or any part of you cross this line at any time. " He drew an imaginary line between them.
She immediately reached across the line and took his hand. Seth looked down at his hand in hers, then back up at her. She leaned over and kissed him, smiling impishly at him as she returned to her side of the truck.
Seth let out a long sigh and looked at Ryan in the rear-view mirror. "All right then. That went well, don't you think?" Ryan threw a sardonic thumb up. Seth turned to her and took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "Summer. I'm serious. At least promise you won't touch the steering wheel. I can't afford any more repairs."
"Oh THAT. Ok, I promise." She nodded into his hands. Seth smiled in victory and kissed her, almost shyly. It was going to take him a while to get used to full access to Summer's, uh, parts.
Ryan groaned from the back seat. "You guys aren't going to do this all day, are you? Can we at least get there before you make out? Or maybe I should drive? Big back seat here."
"Chill, amigo, we're on our way. I know you're, uh, anxious to get there." Seth started the truck, handed Summer the map, and they hit the road.
Ryan stared out the window, not noticing the passing scenery. He couldn't figure out why Marissa texted instead of just calling. Was she worried about being overheard? Were they not supposed to be going to see her? He didn't want to do anything that would hurt her recovery. His need to see her was overruling that thought for now, though. He had barely slept since they got home from Mexico. He had seen too many grim things in his life, and knew that after a while he'd become sort of immune, or disconnected. Like doctors did, he guessed. Knife wounds, kids convulsing from poor quality drugs, his mom's indifferent swig of her drink while her boyfriend was doing some serious damage to her kid; those things still affect you, but not in that deep raw place like before, because if you let them, it would mess you up permanently. But seeing Marissa lying motionless in that dirty alley like a discarded doll had hit him like a freight train. He had known that feeling one other time recently, when he'd seen Luke bleeding on the floor, and had a moment of dread; no, sheer terror actually, until he'd seen Seth in the corner, standing up, not bleeding and not shot. Ryan looked in the rear-view mirror at Seth again. Life was easier for the most part since moving here. The stakes were so much higher now that he'd allowed himself to care, though.
What could she have been thinking? He'd lain awake nights wondering if she'd really meant to end her life, or had just gone overboard trying to make the pain stop for a while. And if she was trying to kill herself, where did that leave him? He knew it was completely stupid and selfish, because her actions were not about him, but he was hurt that he wasn't enough for her. That she felt like she needed to take pills instead of talking to him and letting him help her. Didn't she know he would do anything for her? Ryan closed his eyes and dropped his head back onto the seat as the familiar circle of anxiety wove itself around his brain. At least he knew she wanted to see him now. One fear was laid to rest. He thought maybe he could sleep tonight if he just saw for himself that she was ok, and removed that image from his head of her crumpled on the dirt in the alley.
"Dude."
"Yeah?"
"You doin ok?" Seth had thought Ryan would be happy; they were going to see Marissa after all. Well, not happy, cuz she was in rehab and stuff, but definitely not as sad as he looked right now.
"All good."
Summer turned around in her seat. "Look, other Cohen - wait, is your last name Cohen now? What IS his last name?" She looked to Seth.
"He is a Cohen, as he is a member of the Cohen family. But his last name is Atwood, until he decides otherwise. If, uh, he wants to decide otherwise, which would be SO totally cool. Not to say that he has to, or anything, cuz, you know, that's uh- you know. Cool. And why is that important, Summer?" He caught Ryan's eye in the mirror, worried that he'd offended him. Ryan just looked mildly amused.
"Way to vague that up, Seth, thanks. And since I just recently progressed from "Chino" to "Ryan", I thought I'd go for the whole enchilada. Besides, I sound much more authorative and in charge when using last names." Summer turned back to Ryan.
"Is "authorative" a real word?" Seth cut in.
"Whatever, Cohen. Anyway, poster boy for angst. Give up the pride. Get on the reaching out train. We're here for you."
Seth shook his head. "Summer, you're so - nurturing. In a drill sergeant way."
"Shut up and help Ryan. Make him talk."
"Ah, guys?" Ryan found a small space in the bickering and jumped in. "Thanks, but I'm fine."
Summer shook her head. "You can't be fine and look like the crying Indian commercial at the same time. Reach out, Atwood-Cohen."
He raised an eyebrow at her, considered it for a moment, then figured what the hell. "I'm just worried."
"Very good." She turned to Seth. "He shared, isn't that cool?" She swung back to Ryan. "About what? Marissa? Or about 'you' and Marissa?"
"No. Yeah. Geez I sound like Seth. I just want her to get well. I want her to be ok. But I wish I knew...."
Summer gave up and opened her mouth to speak, but Seth held up a hand. "He does this. Odds are 60 - 40, if you give him a minute? He'll continue."
Ryan shot a 'look' at the back of Seth's head. " I just wish I knew what she was thinking. About a lot of things, and about - well, us." He looked quickly out the window. While it felt kind of good to talk about this, he was not at all comfortable airing his thoughts.
"Everything's kind of up in the air, isn't it?" Summer looked sympathetically at Ryan. "I mean, that morning after she decided not to go home, and head to TJ? The rest of that day was really good right up until the Luke and Holly show. It's obviously over with Luke though, you know."
Ryan looked down and studied the carpet on the truck floor. "I don't know that. She might -"
"Ryan, no. I don't know what she's thinking now, but I can tell you some of what she was thinking that day, cause she told me. You have to understand. Things happened with Luke that made her think she had to stay with him. Her mom is always ragging on her about how Luke is the answer to all her prayers for the future. Financially, ya know. And I mean ALWAYS, even before her dad lost 4 mil or whatever. Marissa's a smart girl, and it being the 21st century and all, you would think her mom would be telling her to study hard and make something of herself, not rely on some guy to take care of her, but I'm sure you know all about Marissa's mom, right? Right. I got off track. Sorry. Julie Cooper rant over. So, what she told me that day. Everyone had her convinced she should be with Luke. You got her all twisted up the night of Seth's grandpa's party."
Ryan closed his eyes and winced at that.
"Hang on, sweetie, I'm not done yet. When we were changing in our room in TJ, she turned to me and said 'Summer, I'm happy today. I woke up happy and it stayed all day.' Poor thing, like she couldn't believe she got a happy day instead of the usual suck-fest." She looked at Seth. "And everyone knows why she woke up happy, don't we?"
Seth grinned while Ryan turned red and looked at the floor again. "Look Ryan, I'll admit I didn't understand what she saw in you back then. But once I saw you guys together that day, it was obvious. She laughed. She smiled. She talked. She acted like a 16-year-old girl instead of someone dragging around a lot of crap. She was glad that you guys had gotten past the bad stuff, and didn't want to screw your friendship up again. So basically Luke was safe, and she had a lot of pressure to stay with him. You made her happy. Now Luke blew it. She won't take him back, because his being a man-whore validates her wanting someone better than him to Mommy dearest. He's out of the picture, if that helps."
Ryan just nodded and looked out the window again. "Thanks, Summer."
"No prob, A.C., I'm here for you." She turned to Seth and whispered. "Did I help?"
"I think so." Seth whispered back. "Why are we whispering again? And uh, A.C.?"
"Atwood -Cohen. Has a nice ring to it, but it's too long. Doesn't flow well in conversation."
Seth nodded as if that made perfect sense. "You could always call him, gee, I don't know, Ryan?"
"Obviously you weren't paying attention when I was going over 'authorative' and 'in charge', Seth."
"Forgive me for my memory lapse, oh talkative one. That was at least an hour back in your monologue. Did I know you talked this much when I decided I liked you? This could have a serious effect on our - "
"On our what?" Summer leaned over and kissed his cheek, then continued down his neck.
Seth sighed. She was always going to win with that, wasn't she? Oh yes. She was. "On our cell phone minutes. Yep, that's definitely what I was going to say."
"Uh huh. It's the next street here. Turn left. There it is."
Ryan was expecting a hospital or something. They were parked in front of what looked like a regular house in a residential area. "Do you see any of the Cooper's vehicles? I have a feeling they would not be happy about us being here."
"No Cooper cars. Should we go to the door?" Summer looked at Ryan.
Ryan shook his head. "Let's wait a minute and see if she comes out. I'm not sure if we're supposed to be here, even."
*****