Disclaimer: I don't own it, or Dick Cheny But like I needed to say that so
you knew??? *snicker*
Author notes: For all of you who don't know, Dick Cheny is our vice president. Okay... you know what? I think I might respond to reviews! (OH BOY! I GOT REVIEWS!!! *does happy dance*)
Jesscheaux: Coach Z isn't going to like this chapter very much... heh heh heh...
Mirr: Really? I didn't know there were THAT many Homestar addicts out there!
Shekla: Well... you're not going to be in this chapter, sorry. I can't fit it in, so maybe next chapter?
Evil_Homestar: Maybe we'll get visits from the poopsmith and Pom-pom. ^__^
Okay... ON WITH THE MADNESS!!! ^____^ ____________________________________________________________________
"Herlo, everbordy!" Coach Z greeted the four people in need of help as he paced the room.
"HIYA COACH Z!!" no one screamed. No one really liked Coach Z much. Jess just picked at her nails, Jenny looked around the room, Laura was poking Jonnifer, who was just sitting there like a dead log.
"Orkay, den. You arll wanna get dis ting started?" Coach Z asked with much enthusiasm. Still, there was no reply from the peanut gallery. Laura was getting bored of poking Jonnifer, and was falling asleep. Jonnifer was still being his loggy self, Jenny and Jess were getting real bored as well, and decided that napping would be the best thing to pass the time. "Werll, why do you arll like Homestar and the gang so murch?" Coach Z asked the drousy patients. No one replied.
"I knorw you don't like me, but that's nort a good reason to farll asleep, yo!" Coach Z chastised them. "Wake urp, or I think Ir'm going to blow my lid, there," Coach Z warned the sleeping patients.
"Orkay, dat's it!" Coach Z yelled. "WARKE URP, DAMN PATIENTS!" Coach Z bellowed, startling the patients. He stood there panting. That took up all of his breath, and he was REALLY freakin' pissed. (A/N: Nice adjectives, ne?)
All of a sudden, Dick Cheny showed up!
"Um... hi," the vice president said, taking a seat in the circle.
"Orh, boy! Can I harve your authograph?" Coach held out his pen and paper to the VP, he LOVED politics, and especially George and Dick.
"No. I'm just here to tell you two things, three I mean," Cheny said.
"Damn," Coach Z whispered to himself.
"Okay, first off, you're under violation of code 4, paragraph 7, line 67, that clearly states: No putting mental patients to sleep by boredom. It seems that you have just done that," Cheny finished his numero uno reason for being there.
"Whart are the orther reasons you're here?" Coach asked.
"Well, I have to tell you this law that applies in Pennsylvania, because that's where you are today," Cheny stated.
"Really? Hm, I dorn't think I'm getting out enourgh," Coach Z said. Every day, the Homestar clinic moves, yet it stays in the same place. Really, it was in California yesterday, even though all of our patients live in Massachusetts. And when they walk out of their door, the clinic is always at the same spot in relativeness to their house. Get it? Well, sorry if you don't. ^_^
"Okay, well, if you're going to drive anywhere today, let me just let you know, that there is this law that states: If a motorist sees horses coming up the road, he has to pull well of the road until the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, he has to take his vehicle apart piece by piece and hide it in the nearest bushes," Cheny finished.
"Orh boy," Coach Z mumbled.
"Yeah, I know. Well, I must be leaving," Cheny said, as he floated up. "OH! AND THE ECONOMY IS FINE!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!" he cackled on his way out of the ceiling.
"Werll, it's time for your nerxt apporitement," Coach Z said, instantly stopping the four snorers. He pushed a button on the wall, and they were dropped in a room, where there was none other than... MARZIPAN?!?
"Omigod! MARRY ME HONEY!" Jonnifer leaped onto the armless girl.
"Get off of me and Carrol," Marzipan asked him.
"Sorry," Jonnifer said, brushing himself off.
"Now, if you'd all take a seat, we're going to sing some songs with Carrol," she said to them all. "I'll sing it once, and then you sing it with me the next time, okay?" she asked them. "Okay, ready, a-one, a-two, a- three!" Marzipan said, before stringing on her guitar. To the tune of twinkle twinkle little star, she sang this:
We are, we are, not addicts,
Of homestarrunner.com.
We're not going, to stay on,
Longer than hours counting twenty-one.
We are, we are, not addicts.
Of homestarrunner.com
"Now everybody sing!" Marzipan smiled. Every one sang, but with a slight twist to the lyrics.
We love, we love, Strong Bad,
That's the reason why we're here.
We love him too much, to say bai,
So instead, we cry and cry.
We love, we love, Strong Bad,
That's the reason, why we're here.
Mazipan walked over and slammed her head on the nearest wall. 'Someone kill me now,' she thought. She hit the button on the wall with her head, sending them to the next person to be their counselor. BUT FIRST! WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A LITTLE WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MARZIPAN!!! ~.^
And here, we see the green, green grass, the nice white buildings, and Marzipan being dragged on something that resembled a shipping thing with the wheels (you know, you put the boxes on 'em and go ZOOOM!!!) in a white straight jacket. The receptionist at the desk asks: What is your name?
Marzipan replies with: Marzipan. And then, she gets a nice padded room in the pretty all white building. ^____^
Okay, back to the vic- *ahem* patients. They all got into a room, which smelled worse than anything they could have ever imagined. It smelled like, 20 full port-a-potties, (A/N: I have one outside my house for the people who are doing construction on the next house over, and we decorated it for Halloween *laughs evilly*) 3 spraying skunks, and a partridge in a pear treeeee.
"..." the Poopsmith said.
"Oh god," Jess said, holding her nose like everyone else.
"Let's get out of here," Jenny said, heading towards the door. Eveyone followed, until the poopsmith raised his shovel and made nice green sparks come out of it, and melt the door, so they were all stuck! He laughed evilly inside his mind. But suddenly, Jonnifer took out his compact mirror, and directed the sparks back at the poopsmith! The poopsmith dodged them, and they *conveniently* hit the button behind him, sending them all to the next person, the last person, maybe.
The heard the sound of bubbles, and looked up to see Pom-pom on his cell phone. They all sat there, knowing it was rude to interrupt when someone was on the phone. Unfortunately, he never got off of the phone with his secret lover, Martha Stewart, so he had to send them all outside, so they could wait until tomorrow. Plus, it would be bad for his reputation if anyone saw him with Martha.
________________________________________
What do you think? I liked it! ^____^
Author notes: For all of you who don't know, Dick Cheny is our vice president. Okay... you know what? I think I might respond to reviews! (OH BOY! I GOT REVIEWS!!! *does happy dance*)
Jesscheaux: Coach Z isn't going to like this chapter very much... heh heh heh...
Mirr: Really? I didn't know there were THAT many Homestar addicts out there!
Shekla: Well... you're not going to be in this chapter, sorry. I can't fit it in, so maybe next chapter?
Evil_Homestar: Maybe we'll get visits from the poopsmith and Pom-pom. ^__^
Okay... ON WITH THE MADNESS!!! ^____^ ____________________________________________________________________
"Herlo, everbordy!" Coach Z greeted the four people in need of help as he paced the room.
"HIYA COACH Z!!" no one screamed. No one really liked Coach Z much. Jess just picked at her nails, Jenny looked around the room, Laura was poking Jonnifer, who was just sitting there like a dead log.
"Orkay, den. You arll wanna get dis ting started?" Coach Z asked with much enthusiasm. Still, there was no reply from the peanut gallery. Laura was getting bored of poking Jonnifer, and was falling asleep. Jonnifer was still being his loggy self, Jenny and Jess were getting real bored as well, and decided that napping would be the best thing to pass the time. "Werll, why do you arll like Homestar and the gang so murch?" Coach Z asked the drousy patients. No one replied.
"I knorw you don't like me, but that's nort a good reason to farll asleep, yo!" Coach Z chastised them. "Wake urp, or I think Ir'm going to blow my lid, there," Coach Z warned the sleeping patients.
"Orkay, dat's it!" Coach Z yelled. "WARKE URP, DAMN PATIENTS!" Coach Z bellowed, startling the patients. He stood there panting. That took up all of his breath, and he was REALLY freakin' pissed. (A/N: Nice adjectives, ne?)
All of a sudden, Dick Cheny showed up!
"Um... hi," the vice president said, taking a seat in the circle.
"Orh, boy! Can I harve your authograph?" Coach held out his pen and paper to the VP, he LOVED politics, and especially George and Dick.
"No. I'm just here to tell you two things, three I mean," Cheny said.
"Damn," Coach Z whispered to himself.
"Okay, first off, you're under violation of code 4, paragraph 7, line 67, that clearly states: No putting mental patients to sleep by boredom. It seems that you have just done that," Cheny finished his numero uno reason for being there.
"Whart are the orther reasons you're here?" Coach asked.
"Well, I have to tell you this law that applies in Pennsylvania, because that's where you are today," Cheny stated.
"Really? Hm, I dorn't think I'm getting out enourgh," Coach Z said. Every day, the Homestar clinic moves, yet it stays in the same place. Really, it was in California yesterday, even though all of our patients live in Massachusetts. And when they walk out of their door, the clinic is always at the same spot in relativeness to their house. Get it? Well, sorry if you don't. ^_^
"Okay, well, if you're going to drive anywhere today, let me just let you know, that there is this law that states: If a motorist sees horses coming up the road, he has to pull well of the road until the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, he has to take his vehicle apart piece by piece and hide it in the nearest bushes," Cheny finished.
"Orh boy," Coach Z mumbled.
"Yeah, I know. Well, I must be leaving," Cheny said, as he floated up. "OH! AND THE ECONOMY IS FINE!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!" he cackled on his way out of the ceiling.
"Werll, it's time for your nerxt apporitement," Coach Z said, instantly stopping the four snorers. He pushed a button on the wall, and they were dropped in a room, where there was none other than... MARZIPAN?!?
"Omigod! MARRY ME HONEY!" Jonnifer leaped onto the armless girl.
"Get off of me and Carrol," Marzipan asked him.
"Sorry," Jonnifer said, brushing himself off.
"Now, if you'd all take a seat, we're going to sing some songs with Carrol," she said to them all. "I'll sing it once, and then you sing it with me the next time, okay?" she asked them. "Okay, ready, a-one, a-two, a- three!" Marzipan said, before stringing on her guitar. To the tune of twinkle twinkle little star, she sang this:
We are, we are, not addicts,
Of homestarrunner.com.
We're not going, to stay on,
Longer than hours counting twenty-one.
We are, we are, not addicts.
Of homestarrunner.com
"Now everybody sing!" Marzipan smiled. Every one sang, but with a slight twist to the lyrics.
We love, we love, Strong Bad,
That's the reason why we're here.
We love him too much, to say bai,
So instead, we cry and cry.
We love, we love, Strong Bad,
That's the reason, why we're here.
Mazipan walked over and slammed her head on the nearest wall. 'Someone kill me now,' she thought. She hit the button on the wall with her head, sending them to the next person to be their counselor. BUT FIRST! WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A LITTLE WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MARZIPAN!!! ~.^
And here, we see the green, green grass, the nice white buildings, and Marzipan being dragged on something that resembled a shipping thing with the wheels (you know, you put the boxes on 'em and go ZOOOM!!!) in a white straight jacket. The receptionist at the desk asks: What is your name?
Marzipan replies with: Marzipan. And then, she gets a nice padded room in the pretty all white building. ^____^
Okay, back to the vic- *ahem* patients. They all got into a room, which smelled worse than anything they could have ever imagined. It smelled like, 20 full port-a-potties, (A/N: I have one outside my house for the people who are doing construction on the next house over, and we decorated it for Halloween *laughs evilly*) 3 spraying skunks, and a partridge in a pear treeeee.
"..." the Poopsmith said.
"Oh god," Jess said, holding her nose like everyone else.
"Let's get out of here," Jenny said, heading towards the door. Eveyone followed, until the poopsmith raised his shovel and made nice green sparks come out of it, and melt the door, so they were all stuck! He laughed evilly inside his mind. But suddenly, Jonnifer took out his compact mirror, and directed the sparks back at the poopsmith! The poopsmith dodged them, and they *conveniently* hit the button behind him, sending them all to the next person, the last person, maybe.
The heard the sound of bubbles, and looked up to see Pom-pom on his cell phone. They all sat there, knowing it was rude to interrupt when someone was on the phone. Unfortunately, he never got off of the phone with his secret lover, Martha Stewart, so he had to send them all outside, so they could wait until tomorrow. Plus, it would be bad for his reputation if anyone saw him with Martha.
________________________________________
What do you think? I liked it! ^____^