Title: Tourniquet
Summary: In the face of death Hermione reflects on why she is dying.
Type: Morbid Drama
Caution: Suicide Song basis/ artist: "Touniquet" Evanescence
Rating: PG- 13 for violence and suicide
Reviews to continue: 4
**-^-**: change in the scene of flashback.
**.** Flashback/End Flashback
Scene change
'I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring
Crimson regret and Betrayal'
Hermione Leigh Granger was alone in the seventh year girls dormitory. Her suddenly emaciated body shrouded in a crimson sheet.
Nothing could be as difficult to accept than your best friend rejecting you asking him out. However that is exactly what happened to her. The rejection had been nowhere near easy and Hermione had suddenly become withdrawn from everything from friends to classes. Her grades slipped at an alarming rate.
All Hermione had now was Gwen, a fellow seventh year who was a social outcast not normally seen out of company of her best friend Shannon. Naturally Hermione had believed that Gwen did not like her especially since Gwen had been particularly rude to her since the beginning of the first year.
Feeling slightly sick Hermione looked over to her reflection. She was deathly pale beneath her dark undereye circles and blue tinted lips. Slowly but surely she was dying.
'I'm dying
Praying
Bleeding
And screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?'
A small razor slipped out from beneath the sheet and fell to the floor with a thud. The strong scent of copper filled the air as dark crimson stained the already red sheets. Sitting alone on her nightstand was a potion she had made her self to end it all in case the cutting failed.
All of the seventh year Gryffindors were in Hogsmede buying candies and sipping on butterbeer, all except Hermione who had finally decided her timely demise.
Weakness washed over her thin and frail body seducing her to the eternal sleep. She would drift in and out of consciousness every once in a while, but would wake up to make a new cut.
'My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation.'
All of her pain was Harry's fault and the slut he slept with. If he hadn't said he didn't want to go out with her she wouldn't be so depressed and her grades wouldn't be slipping into oblivion.
**Flashback*
Hermione ran out of Potions to catch up with Harry who had left without her and Ron. Nothing about him had been the same since Sirius had died and none of the changes had been good. Over a short period of time he had become a little bit too rebellious and cocky. There was a girl from Ravenclaw Sixth years that was out of classes now because she had delivered his baby early in the term. Rumor had it that two more girls from Hufflepuff each were expecting Harry's child.
Not many people knew what to do with the boy who lived (again). Professor Dumbledore had begun to lose all hope that Harry would ever be a happy healthy teenaged boy though the elderly wizard did hate giving up on such an issue. Ron and Hermione refused to give up on their best friend.
Slowly over the seven years Hermione had begun to fall in love with the Potter. Perhaps if she could reach him by love he would change back into the same old Harry.
"Harry!" she shouted. Harry spun around.
"What?" he said coldly. Hermione flinched but did not lose hope.
"Do you want to go out sometime?" she asked. "You know, just the two of us?" Harry snorted and rolled his eyes.
"I'm not interested in anything that won't put out," he said before strolling off.
Hermione stood there for a long period of time feeling extremely hurt. She jumped when a hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned to see a girl from her dorm with shoulder length reddish brown hair and hazel eyes.
"Don't let him bother you Hermione," she said before holding out her hand. "I'm Gwendolyn O'Fallon. You can call me Gwen."
"How could that not hurt me?" Hermione asked in disbelief.
"Well," Gwen said thoughtfully, "for one you could consider yourself lucky that he didn't say yes because if he did you may end up pregnant. He's turned into a bit of a sexual predator if you hadn't noticed. For two I can see a bit of him is still in there lost somewhere waiting for somebody to help him."
"But still, I'm his best friend and he rejected me." Hermione mumbled walking away. Gwen caught up to her.
"Listen to me," she said. "There's a meeting regarding Potter in the Room of Requirement tonight at seven. If you want to voice what you think you should come."
**-^- **
'Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or Will you forget me?'
Hermione decided to take Gwen up on the invitation. At a quarter to seven Gryffindor Tower teary eyes and puffy faced. She ran into Ron just outside the Room of Requirement. Instinctively she looked down and away.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he spotted her.
"I could ask you the same," she said her voice cracking mid- sentence. Ron took hold of her chin and forced her gently to look at him. Immediately he felt an unfamiliar warm wetness from her smooth skin against his finger.
"What's wrong?" he questioned very concerned.
"Nothing," she answered looking away from him, "it's nothing. I'm fine."
"You're a bad liar," he muttered moving close to her. "It's Harry isn't it?"
"Don't be silly," she mumbled. "What would Harry have to do with any of this. I can promise you that it's hormones and they've gotten the best of me."
"If you say so," he said, "come on then, let's defend Harry."
The meeting was more of a debate that Gwen had arranged in order to allow some of the students to speak their minds freely and openly without having the nagging feeling of remorse. The new mother from Ravenclaw that Harry had impregnated during sixth year was present with her son Aieden (pronounced Aiden). The two Hufflepuffs that were also pregnant with Harry's children were also present. Much to both Hermione and Ron's surprise Malfoy and a few other Slytherins made their presence known.
"What makes Potter so special that we have to excuse his actions?" Malfoy drawled. "If I honestly caused a delicate situation I would be taking care of the one I made instead of going on to make three more delicate situations."
"Three? I was only informed of two," Gwen said her voice full of questions. "Who's the third?"
"Parkinson couldn't make it," Crabbe grumbled, "morning sickness or something like that got the best of her."
Gwen sighed and shook her head. "I don't want to cause problems for Potter because God knows he has enough already. I talked to Professor Dumbledore this morning about him and he said that there is not much to do about him. However Madam Pomfrey proposed a potion to make him sterile for a period of five years, but we need a petition with one hundred and forty names signed to it in order for her to give it to him."
"That's half of the bloody school," Seamus Finnigan shouted from the back of the room. "We'll never get that many people."
"Pass it over I'll sign it!" Somebody mumbled from behind Hermione. She turned to see that Pansy Parkinson had joined. She didn't look up to her usual healthy form.
**End Flashback**
'I'm dying
Praying
Bleeding
And screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost'
Hermione felt one of her cuts had stopped bleeding and she reached down to pick up the razor on the ground. It slipped from her weak grasp and she swore silently as she was too weak to speak.
'My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation'
There were not many secrets that could be kept around Hogwarts and the plan to sterilize Harry was one of them. He decided to go after the first name signed to the petition when he found it: Gwendolyn Adrienne O' Fallon.
Hermione and Gwen had been alone in the common room- apart from the few first years that were scattered around them playing exploding snap - working on a nasty essay for Snape.
"What is the point of a fertility potion for a person who is already pregnant?" Gwen questioned reading over the essay.
Neither of the girls noticed that Harry had been hovering over them until he slapped Gwen from her chair onto the floor. Shocked as to be struck so suddenly, Gwen scrambled to her feet holding her cheek.
"What the hell was that for?" she demanded.
"This!" Harry snarreled thrusting the parchment at her. "A petition for a sterilization potion!"
Gwen's mouth curved into a large 'oh' and she took the parchment and examined it closely. As soon as she had done so Harry knocked her flat for a second time.
This time Hermione jumped in afraid for what her once best friend was going to do to her new friend.
"Harry stop it!" she demanded. "There is no need for this."
Rage had obviously blocked Harry's ability to hear because he threw Hermione out of his way and went back for Gwen. He lifted her easily off the ground by her shirt and made a move to strike her in her stomach.
"Cause me a miscarriage and I swear I will kill you," she hissed at him. He didn't listen and struck her in the abdomen.
Hermione did not realize what Gwen had said. McGonagall arrived in company of one of the first years.
"Stupefy!" she shouted directing her wand at Harry who froze dropping Gwen in the process. Gwen recoiled holding her stomach.
"Miss Granger, Mr. Lambert would you please take Miss O' Fallon to the hospital wing," McGonagall ordered.
"Hermione and the first year picked Gwen up off the floor. She had fallen unconscious, most likely from pain. When they reached the hospital wing corridor they ran into Shannon Depp. She began her questions before they even go in the door.
"What happened she asked.
"Harry attacked her," Hermione mumbled. Madam Pomfrey bustled over.
"I expected something like this to happen," she said pushing all three of the students out. Hermione began to feel ill.
"If she loses the baby Draco will kill Harry," Shannon mumbled into her hands. The first year had decided to go to the library.
"What?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "She's pregnant?
"You didn't know that?" Shannon questioned. "She's two in a half months along."
**End Flashback**
'I want to die
My God
My tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My tourniquet
Return to me salvation'
Hermione smiled inwardly. Gwen hadn't lost her unborn child, but that did not stop Draco Malfoy from beating Harry with a bludgers bat. Malfoy faced a loss of one hundred fifty points for Slytherin, a month of detention and a day of suspension.
Finally able to get a hold of the razor and keep hold on it, Hermione raked the blade over her left arm. That was the last cut she made before she passed out, dropping the bloodied razor to the floor.
Downstairs
Gwen and Ron climbed through the portrait hole laughing about something Shannon had been yelling at Peeves.
"So what do you think I should do?" Ron asked. Gwen pulled her robes off. For a minute or so Ron stared at her stomach which had been a small rounded bulge beneath her tight shirt.
"Just tell her how much you love her," she said.
"Is that what you did with Malfoy?" Ron asked in a joking manor.
"Actually it's what he did with me," she answered pulling a box from her robes pocket. "I'm going to go give these to Hermione."
Ron smiled watching his newfound confidant descend up the spiral stairwell to the girls dorms. No sooner did he hear a door open did he hear Gwen screaming for him to get McGonagall.
Not bothering to ask why, he ran from the common room to McGonagalls room down the hall. He burst through her door not bothering to knock.
"Weasley!" she snapped looking up from her chair.
"Professor! Gwen screamed," he wheezed. McGonagall did not need to hear anymore. She dashed out of her chambers to the Gryffindor common room.
Immediately she spotted what the problem was as soon as she entered the common room.
Somehow with help from two second years, Gwen had drug Hermione's lifeless body down the stairs.
McGonagall felt for a pulse before ordering a second year to fetch Madam Pomfrey.
'My walls cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied
Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide.'
Hermione Leigh Granger was not granted her way out. Nor would she ever want to attempt suicide again after what she had done to herself.
Five days after being admitted into the short term mental ward of St. Mungo's she looked at her bandages and began to think.
"A wound is only temporary, but a scar is for life," she said. The healer that was working with her looked at her oddly.
"What was that dear?" she asked.
"I said," Hermione said rather impatiently, " a wound is only temporary, but a scar is for life."
Sighing the healer sat down on the edge of her bed and took Hermione's hands into her own.
"You're still young," she said. "You have no true reason other than selfishness."
Hermione sighed and nodded her head. It was selfish. That was all that drove her to attempt suicide. Still where she was at at this point in time (you may want to read that sentence aloud if you do not understand it) she felt comfortable. There were six other girls there with her that were in her situation. Her roommate Christina had not attempted suicide but had threatened to do so.
Smiling the Healer pulled a letter out of her pocket.
"This may brighten your day," she said handing it to Hermione. Without another word she went about her duties.
Curious as to who would be writing her, she tore open the letter. First she looked and the signature and nearly choked on her own breath. The letter was from Draco Malfoy.
Dear Hermione,
I hope you are feeling well and that your wounds are healing. Gwen and I are planning on taking a short trip to come see you very soon. I want to apologize in person for my rudeness.
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy
Smiling she folded the letter and put it on her nightstand.
*~*~*Fin*~*~*
So do you want me to continue? It's up to you the reviewer! VERY IMPORTANT! Every other story in this series is an Evanescence songbasis. There are 11 total songs on the album Fallen and there are 11 total songfics relating to the songs.
More good news: This will continue! Watch for song fic #3 Lost and Found.
October Potter- Snape.
Type: Morbid Drama
Caution: Suicide Song basis/ artist: "Touniquet" Evanescence
Rating: PG- 13 for violence and suicide
Reviews to continue: 4
**-^-**: change in the scene of flashback.
**.** Flashback/End Flashback
Scene change
'I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring
Crimson regret and Betrayal'
Hermione Leigh Granger was alone in the seventh year girls dormitory. Her suddenly emaciated body shrouded in a crimson sheet.
Nothing could be as difficult to accept than your best friend rejecting you asking him out. However that is exactly what happened to her. The rejection had been nowhere near easy and Hermione had suddenly become withdrawn from everything from friends to classes. Her grades slipped at an alarming rate.
All Hermione had now was Gwen, a fellow seventh year who was a social outcast not normally seen out of company of her best friend Shannon. Naturally Hermione had believed that Gwen did not like her especially since Gwen had been particularly rude to her since the beginning of the first year.
Feeling slightly sick Hermione looked over to her reflection. She was deathly pale beneath her dark undereye circles and blue tinted lips. Slowly but surely she was dying.
'I'm dying
Praying
Bleeding
And screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?'
A small razor slipped out from beneath the sheet and fell to the floor with a thud. The strong scent of copper filled the air as dark crimson stained the already red sheets. Sitting alone on her nightstand was a potion she had made her self to end it all in case the cutting failed.
All of the seventh year Gryffindors were in Hogsmede buying candies and sipping on butterbeer, all except Hermione who had finally decided her timely demise.
Weakness washed over her thin and frail body seducing her to the eternal sleep. She would drift in and out of consciousness every once in a while, but would wake up to make a new cut.
'My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation.'
All of her pain was Harry's fault and the slut he slept with. If he hadn't said he didn't want to go out with her she wouldn't be so depressed and her grades wouldn't be slipping into oblivion.
**Flashback*
Hermione ran out of Potions to catch up with Harry who had left without her and Ron. Nothing about him had been the same since Sirius had died and none of the changes had been good. Over a short period of time he had become a little bit too rebellious and cocky. There was a girl from Ravenclaw Sixth years that was out of classes now because she had delivered his baby early in the term. Rumor had it that two more girls from Hufflepuff each were expecting Harry's child.
Not many people knew what to do with the boy who lived (again). Professor Dumbledore had begun to lose all hope that Harry would ever be a happy healthy teenaged boy though the elderly wizard did hate giving up on such an issue. Ron and Hermione refused to give up on their best friend.
Slowly over the seven years Hermione had begun to fall in love with the Potter. Perhaps if she could reach him by love he would change back into the same old Harry.
"Harry!" she shouted. Harry spun around.
"What?" he said coldly. Hermione flinched but did not lose hope.
"Do you want to go out sometime?" she asked. "You know, just the two of us?" Harry snorted and rolled his eyes.
"I'm not interested in anything that won't put out," he said before strolling off.
Hermione stood there for a long period of time feeling extremely hurt. She jumped when a hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned to see a girl from her dorm with shoulder length reddish brown hair and hazel eyes.
"Don't let him bother you Hermione," she said before holding out her hand. "I'm Gwendolyn O'Fallon. You can call me Gwen."
"How could that not hurt me?" Hermione asked in disbelief.
"Well," Gwen said thoughtfully, "for one you could consider yourself lucky that he didn't say yes because if he did you may end up pregnant. He's turned into a bit of a sexual predator if you hadn't noticed. For two I can see a bit of him is still in there lost somewhere waiting for somebody to help him."
"But still, I'm his best friend and he rejected me." Hermione mumbled walking away. Gwen caught up to her.
"Listen to me," she said. "There's a meeting regarding Potter in the Room of Requirement tonight at seven. If you want to voice what you think you should come."
**-^- **
'Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or Will you forget me?'
Hermione decided to take Gwen up on the invitation. At a quarter to seven Gryffindor Tower teary eyes and puffy faced. She ran into Ron just outside the Room of Requirement. Instinctively she looked down and away.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he spotted her.
"I could ask you the same," she said her voice cracking mid- sentence. Ron took hold of her chin and forced her gently to look at him. Immediately he felt an unfamiliar warm wetness from her smooth skin against his finger.
"What's wrong?" he questioned very concerned.
"Nothing," she answered looking away from him, "it's nothing. I'm fine."
"You're a bad liar," he muttered moving close to her. "It's Harry isn't it?"
"Don't be silly," she mumbled. "What would Harry have to do with any of this. I can promise you that it's hormones and they've gotten the best of me."
"If you say so," he said, "come on then, let's defend Harry."
The meeting was more of a debate that Gwen had arranged in order to allow some of the students to speak their minds freely and openly without having the nagging feeling of remorse. The new mother from Ravenclaw that Harry had impregnated during sixth year was present with her son Aieden (pronounced Aiden). The two Hufflepuffs that were also pregnant with Harry's children were also present. Much to both Hermione and Ron's surprise Malfoy and a few other Slytherins made their presence known.
"What makes Potter so special that we have to excuse his actions?" Malfoy drawled. "If I honestly caused a delicate situation I would be taking care of the one I made instead of going on to make three more delicate situations."
"Three? I was only informed of two," Gwen said her voice full of questions. "Who's the third?"
"Parkinson couldn't make it," Crabbe grumbled, "morning sickness or something like that got the best of her."
Gwen sighed and shook her head. "I don't want to cause problems for Potter because God knows he has enough already. I talked to Professor Dumbledore this morning about him and he said that there is not much to do about him. However Madam Pomfrey proposed a potion to make him sterile for a period of five years, but we need a petition with one hundred and forty names signed to it in order for her to give it to him."
"That's half of the bloody school," Seamus Finnigan shouted from the back of the room. "We'll never get that many people."
"Pass it over I'll sign it!" Somebody mumbled from behind Hermione. She turned to see that Pansy Parkinson had joined. She didn't look up to her usual healthy form.
**End Flashback**
'I'm dying
Praying
Bleeding
And screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost'
Hermione felt one of her cuts had stopped bleeding and she reached down to pick up the razor on the ground. It slipped from her weak grasp and she swore silently as she was too weak to speak.
'My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation'
There were not many secrets that could be kept around Hogwarts and the plan to sterilize Harry was one of them. He decided to go after the first name signed to the petition when he found it: Gwendolyn Adrienne O' Fallon.
Hermione and Gwen had been alone in the common room- apart from the few first years that were scattered around them playing exploding snap - working on a nasty essay for Snape.
"What is the point of a fertility potion for a person who is already pregnant?" Gwen questioned reading over the essay.
Neither of the girls noticed that Harry had been hovering over them until he slapped Gwen from her chair onto the floor. Shocked as to be struck so suddenly, Gwen scrambled to her feet holding her cheek.
"What the hell was that for?" she demanded.
"This!" Harry snarreled thrusting the parchment at her. "A petition for a sterilization potion!"
Gwen's mouth curved into a large 'oh' and she took the parchment and examined it closely. As soon as she had done so Harry knocked her flat for a second time.
This time Hermione jumped in afraid for what her once best friend was going to do to her new friend.
"Harry stop it!" she demanded. "There is no need for this."
Rage had obviously blocked Harry's ability to hear because he threw Hermione out of his way and went back for Gwen. He lifted her easily off the ground by her shirt and made a move to strike her in her stomach.
"Cause me a miscarriage and I swear I will kill you," she hissed at him. He didn't listen and struck her in the abdomen.
Hermione did not realize what Gwen had said. McGonagall arrived in company of one of the first years.
"Stupefy!" she shouted directing her wand at Harry who froze dropping Gwen in the process. Gwen recoiled holding her stomach.
"Miss Granger, Mr. Lambert would you please take Miss O' Fallon to the hospital wing," McGonagall ordered.
"Hermione and the first year picked Gwen up off the floor. She had fallen unconscious, most likely from pain. When they reached the hospital wing corridor they ran into Shannon Depp. She began her questions before they even go in the door.
"What happened she asked.
"Harry attacked her," Hermione mumbled. Madam Pomfrey bustled over.
"I expected something like this to happen," she said pushing all three of the students out. Hermione began to feel ill.
"If she loses the baby Draco will kill Harry," Shannon mumbled into her hands. The first year had decided to go to the library.
"What?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "She's pregnant?
"You didn't know that?" Shannon questioned. "She's two in a half months along."
**End Flashback**
'I want to die
My God
My tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God
My tourniquet
Return to me salvation'
Hermione smiled inwardly. Gwen hadn't lost her unborn child, but that did not stop Draco Malfoy from beating Harry with a bludgers bat. Malfoy faced a loss of one hundred fifty points for Slytherin, a month of detention and a day of suspension.
Finally able to get a hold of the razor and keep hold on it, Hermione raked the blade over her left arm. That was the last cut she made before she passed out, dropping the bloodied razor to the floor.
Downstairs
Gwen and Ron climbed through the portrait hole laughing about something Shannon had been yelling at Peeves.
"So what do you think I should do?" Ron asked. Gwen pulled her robes off. For a minute or so Ron stared at her stomach which had been a small rounded bulge beneath her tight shirt.
"Just tell her how much you love her," she said.
"Is that what you did with Malfoy?" Ron asked in a joking manor.
"Actually it's what he did with me," she answered pulling a box from her robes pocket. "I'm going to go give these to Hermione."
Ron smiled watching his newfound confidant descend up the spiral stairwell to the girls dorms. No sooner did he hear a door open did he hear Gwen screaming for him to get McGonagall.
Not bothering to ask why, he ran from the common room to McGonagalls room down the hall. He burst through her door not bothering to knock.
"Weasley!" she snapped looking up from her chair.
"Professor! Gwen screamed," he wheezed. McGonagall did not need to hear anymore. She dashed out of her chambers to the Gryffindor common room.
Immediately she spotted what the problem was as soon as she entered the common room.
Somehow with help from two second years, Gwen had drug Hermione's lifeless body down the stairs.
McGonagall felt for a pulse before ordering a second year to fetch Madam Pomfrey.
'My walls cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied
Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide.'
Hermione Leigh Granger was not granted her way out. Nor would she ever want to attempt suicide again after what she had done to herself.
Five days after being admitted into the short term mental ward of St. Mungo's she looked at her bandages and began to think.
"A wound is only temporary, but a scar is for life," she said. The healer that was working with her looked at her oddly.
"What was that dear?" she asked.
"I said," Hermione said rather impatiently, " a wound is only temporary, but a scar is for life."
Sighing the healer sat down on the edge of her bed and took Hermione's hands into her own.
"You're still young," she said. "You have no true reason other than selfishness."
Hermione sighed and nodded her head. It was selfish. That was all that drove her to attempt suicide. Still where she was at at this point in time (you may want to read that sentence aloud if you do not understand it) she felt comfortable. There were six other girls there with her that were in her situation. Her roommate Christina had not attempted suicide but had threatened to do so.
Smiling the Healer pulled a letter out of her pocket.
"This may brighten your day," she said handing it to Hermione. Without another word she went about her duties.
Curious as to who would be writing her, she tore open the letter. First she looked and the signature and nearly choked on her own breath. The letter was from Draco Malfoy.
Dear Hermione,
I hope you are feeling well and that your wounds are healing. Gwen and I are planning on taking a short trip to come see you very soon. I want to apologize in person for my rudeness.
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy
Smiling she folded the letter and put it on her nightstand.
*~*~*Fin*~*~*
So do you want me to continue? It's up to you the reviewer! VERY IMPORTANT! Every other story in this series is an Evanescence songbasis. There are 11 total songs on the album Fallen and there are 11 total songfics relating to the songs.
More good news: This will continue! Watch for song fic #3 Lost and Found.
October Potter- Snape.