This is NOT an official update... don't get all depressed though because it's not just AN's either. See... Im not gonna say I'm blocked lol... it sounds far too dramatic. But I had to clear some stuff out of my head and so I decided to just write out random thoughts of the boys. I kinda liked how it turned out so I'm posting them for you guys while you wait for the official chapter. Consider it a pause in the story. It's just their thoughts a while after the poisoning chaos. There isn't any type of consistency to it at all... so yeah. Some of you may hate that I even did this but oh well lol. Let me know what you think :)
I'd also like to add that I'm an idiot and last chapter when Magneto says "[Lance] has this odd desire to do good..." What I *MEANT* to have him say was "...has this odd desire to do good in the eyes of humans and the rest of this world. He wants to please them and only I can break him of it" It just kinda changes what I was trying to have him say so grrrr lol. So do me a favor and pretend he said that instead.. Even if u don't think it makes much of a difference lol.
And thank goodness you guys don't want the stupid numbered recruits lol. They were beginning to bug the crap out of me.
PS. If you take anything in this fic as slash... think again lol cuz it's not intended to be... ever. So even if they do stuff that'd be considered odd for guys... get over it lol. Cuz to be honest... not all guys are terrified to show some type of affection...it just seems to be some sort of taboo to some ppl for a guy to hug another guy. I don't get it personally... but whatever. None of this is slash and none of it will be slash. Oh yeah, and please don't send me a million reviews saying I should be open minded and blah blah blah, cuz I am. Just cuz I'm not writing the characters as gay doesn't mean I'm all discriminatory against gays... u can just ask my many gay friends... but anyway... now that that's been said.
Review responses- Yeesh there's a lot! Thank you sooo much. Since there's a lot... I'm not gonna respond to every single one. Just know that I greatly appreciate ALL of them.
Incrediblecuznz- You poor thing! You remind me of my best friend... weird stuff happens to her all the time. She had what we called "the white spot on the back of the throat" disease. Never did find out what it actually was. Her tonsils disappeared once too. Two doctors couldn't find them... turns out they were there, just really small. She's perfectly healthy though if that's any encouragement. Kurt's flea problem is now officially in your honor cuz he's all itchy too ok? Anyway, I'm glad you like the super villainy version of Mags... but Im having trouble with hin lol. I need to balance him out a bit better... hes still gonna be all super villainy tho.
SilverFox1- Nope... don't think I'm gonna do any OC's. Anywho... I was *really* kicking myself about the whole hospital scene, but it's too late to change it now. :( Magneto does seem to think he has Pietro all figured out. :) Question is... does he?
Hybryd0- NEVER BE AFRAID TO REVIEW :) :) :) I love reviews. Thank you :)
Yma- Oooo, mr cortez dude sounds neat. Unfortunately I've never heard of him
Mandy- Dang... I did leave them out... o well lol
MiracleChick- Ahhh... you came back :) I knew you would. Anyway, Marissa was a jerk face lol. The tic tac toe thing... yeah- id've been like yeah um, leave. I had to make *something* happen besides just random nurses doing random stuff... so I made a perky annoying brat lol. With Kitty and sinking to China...yeah I just don't get how she doesn't ever just keep sinking. Cuz she phases into the ground sometimes and im like uhhhh... hello! Anyway...you know something... I forgot Scott was an orphan lol.. I'm such a dork... anyway.
KS-Fan- Pyro... umm lol, I may want to kick myself for that one later. I may do something with it I may not. I have an idea but it may not work the way I want it to, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Anyway, Magneto is the main reason I'm stuck at the moment. Bad author bad! Lol, cuz ur right... he is a closet case evil. He reminds me of Hitler actually... cuz he's all obsessed with superior race and he tries to get all these 'converts' and stuff and he's really horrible... but of course HE doesn't think he's evil and terrible and he's got mutants jumping at the chance to be on his team so ya. I think he knows he's a manipulator too.. But he wouldn't ever actually *say* he was cuz everything he does is justified as far as he's concerned. So pretty much I was being a cheater and lazy and not developing his character and just having him state things as fact instead of writing him with that personality. Way cheesy of me and bleh lol. I'll work it out tho... somehow. Oh yeah, thanks for disagreeing with Nat (sorry Nat lol, nothing personal).
Luna fox- Ack! Sorry bout the mis spelling. I make ur day? Wow... thanks lol.
Deacon- Yeah, I really want to do more with Logan... but there is so much going on that it's hard to fit it in
Nat- Yeah I'm on the same side as KS-Fan... and not just cuz I wrote it lol. But Pietro has to be American in the series cuz he's known Evan forever. And I knew the comic Maximoff's were nice.. But they've never been in evo so yeah. Seems to me if they were nice they woulda been trying to get their son out of jail...yeesh lol. But anyway...it's a valid point... I just didn't stick to the comic past
SlickAmber- Yeah, they are ooc... but I decided a few chapters into it that I really didn't care anymore, cuz they are such a mess that they wouldn't be acting like their usual selves anyway. As for your questions... 1) Rogue and Pietro... It'll screw Pietro over in the end to get all involved with someone. So as of now it's all one sided. 2) lol... I was waiting for someone to bring that up actually... I meant to say this in an AN awhile ago and then forgot. It isn't and wont be slash in any way shape or form ok? 3) Nah... I like her too but not for this fic... too hyper. Sorry.
LadyRaye- Yay! Thanks for the ooc comment
~*~Lance~*~
AN: So he doesn't really think about himself much... but that was the point lol. He's too preoccupied with Todd and Pietro to care about what's wrong with him.
Ok, so it's been forever and I *still* feel like crap. I try and move around a little more everyday and so everyday I wake up sore. If I don't move around though, I'm afraid the boredom might take over. Laying in bed for hours on end really gives a guy the chance to think about stuff though, that's for sure.
The most pressing matter at the moment is Todd. Last week it was Pietro, but this week it's Todd. I'm worried for him. Man, I worry way to much, as Kitty informs me just about everyday, but I can't help it. It's like I'm responsible for them or something. I don't have a clue why I feel that way, but it doesn't matter because that's just how it is. Maybe it's because I like the way it feels to take care of someone, to like, be strong enough for others. Wow, I'm including 'like' in my thoughts now. Maybe I should spend a little less time with Kitty and Kurt and more time with Todd. It's kinda awkward around Kitty and Kurt together sometimes.
Anyway, Todd. Those memories have gotta scare the hell out of him. I gotta admit, when he went psycho that day, I felt like I failed him or something. I mean, I know it's not *my* fault, but I'm supposed to protect him... or something? I don't know. I don't know why he chose me as his father figure. It's pretty twisted. I'm definitely not the best candidate for the job that's for sure. I mean, be reasonable. I'm a 19 year old who barely graduated high school (a year late I might add), tried to kill himself at one point, and destroyed his parents home because of a temper tantrum...I really don't think that qualifies as mature enough to be a father. Although destroying my house wasn't *really* my fault. I wasn't aware I could take a house down just because I was angry at that time.
That's another thing that bothers me. I want my powers back. It's weirding me out that I can't use them. McCoy is always going on about how dangerous it would be to test them out right after surgery. Considering the type of headaches I've had before, I'm not too eager to find out what kind of pain I can inflict on myself. Been there, done that. I just feel really exposed without them, yeah, that's it...exposed.
Now that I think about inflicting pain, I wonder if Pietro managed to stop his running. At least with Pietro I can understand what he's going through. I hate that he makes me take those stupid sleeping pills. Then again I probably wouldn't sleep at all if he didn't. It's kinda weird to me that he and Todd don't realize how much I need them around. They take care of me more than they realize. Back at the house, when they brought me asprin without me asking for it, or turned the TV off when they could just tell my head was ready to explode, or when they'd purposely get Fred focused on them when they knew I couldn't handle a beating... that was kinda cool. I have to be reminded that *someone* cares about my existence.
I can't figure out when I became Lance the mighty comforter though. That one still gets me. I mean Kitty, that was easy. All you gotta do is hold her and tell her the world will be ok again, but that's Kitty. The first time I hugged Todd, like *really* hugged him, was the creepiest thing ever. But what the hell was I supposed to do? Just stand there and watch him cry his eyes out? That was also one of the creepiest things ever while I'm thinking about it. Pietro was even creepier when he cried. Todd it just seemed a little more fitting, him being so young and all, but Tro? Nuh-uh. He doesn't do stuff like that. Man, and then Fred has to go and walk in on Todd crying and me hugging him and officially labels us homos. The ass hole. The whole thing was awkward and weird and creepy already and he had to go and be a prick. Uhg, the whole thing just makes me sick. Actually no, I really am sick...damn medicine.
I think maybe it was a bad idea to move me back in my room. I'm gonna end up waking the other guys up and personally, having them staring at me while I'm gagging up what little I can eat really isn't pleasant. Aw man, Pietro's already awake. Least he's actually in bed and not off tearing his muscles up. So now I get to lay here with this rancid taste in my mouth and wait for the room to stop spinning so I can go clean up. Nice. Life sucks sometimes.
So anyway, I wish Magneto would hurry up and make another move so I can tell him to leave us the hell alone. I shoulda just stayed with the Johnsons instead of going with Mystique. I wonder whatever happened to them anyway. Can you just tell the state that the kid you were fostering disappeared? Man, maybe if I hadn't become such a delinquent I coulda stayed there. I go through all the trouble of straightening myself out and getting over my messed up and depressed stage only to screw up my second chance. I'm such a genius.
Damn, Rogue's awake. Oh well, least she knows how to tell when people don't want to talk. Rogue's real perceptive like that. Crap... she better not tell Pietro she likes him. Not that she would since she won't even admit it to herself yet, but still. Pietro has too much to think about already. I'll bet it's really scary inside his head, as fast as everything goes. Add one more dilemma to the mix and I bet he'll go running off again. I'm still trying to figure out what he was trying to do when he ran off and nearly killed himself. He looked really confused and frantic and then just took off. Me and Todd have found him more than once slightly... off balance I guess is a good way to put it. That scares me. I hope McCoy knows what he's doing.
It seems like all the adults are so... genuine about caring that we're here. It's pretty different from Mystique. She never cared what we did. Logan is my favorite... no shame in having a favorite right? I mean the others are alright, but Logan treats me more like a man than the others do. Cuz technically I'm an adult, but I wouldn't say I'm a man yet. Well maybe out loud I would, but I don't think I'd mean it. Then again I'm definitely not a kid anymore. Logan though... I don't know. It's weird stuff, like on the plane ride back over here. I think all of the instructors would have come to watch me puke and pat me on the shoulder but nope. Mr. Logan kept right on flying the plane and didn't say a word about me hurling– in the air sick bag this time. I liked that. He doesn't sugar anything down for me either. He told me straight up that my friends were hurt and that it was dangerous people who did it.
I've got to force myself to sleep. If I don't, I'll start worrying more. I'm gonna get an ulcer or something from all this worrying...wouldn't surprise me.
~*~Pietro~*~
AN: This one is really kinda jumpy and random...but I did it on purpose. Stuff in Pietro's head is fast, so yeah. This one is the longest mostly cuz it was the most fun to write so I just kept typing lol.
I really can't believe it. I can actually *count* my ribs just from my reflection, and every pair of pants I own are now so loose that not even a belt can keep them in place. Stupid self destructiveness. Stupid mutation. Stupid father. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Yeesh, way to be optimistic huh? Hank says if I had a better attitude about stuff then I would probably feel a lot better, but Hank says a lot of stuff. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't. It all depends on my mood. I hate being so moody. I gotta admit it though: Hank helps...a lot more than I give him credit for actually. I almost tore the guy's lab up during one of my many, err, hissy fits. I really like that he lets me help him out in the lab with all that research he does. Secretly, I love science. I don't know if I would like it as much without my mutation, but I think all that chemical and genetic stuff is really interesting...I'm such a dork. But yeah, I throw hissy fits; isn't that mature of me? I'll shoot myself before I ever do that in front of the X-Geeks again though. It's just sometimes, I don't know what else to do. My thoughts are so freaking fast. I switch subjects so quickly and I tend to confuse people. It was a real problem when my powers first manifested. I'd say completely random stuff that made perfect sense to me because of my mutated thinking speed. Kids thought I was really weird because of it. Evan, being the type of person he is, (someday his niceness is gonna turn around and kick him in the ass, but that's another subject) defended me a lot, but in middle school one person coming to your defense can only help for so long. Considering Evan and I didn't have an incredibly high social status– not a low one, but still– I eventually just started to drag him down with me. He coulda dropped me at any time, but nope– I guess that's what a true friend is supposed to do; I wouldn't really know considering I've only ever had a few true friends. I'm not very good at being a true friend. The tables turned when we got to highschool, and suddenly I had social status. Not that I asked for it, but I won't say I didn't want it. I was still friends with Evan, but I didn't pull him up the ladder with me– which I guess you're supposed to do.
Anyway, I was talking about my hissy fits before I went off on that tangent... see what I mean about my thoughts being so random? They just start to all meld together at an evolved pace and when I'm thinking about depressing stuff, I can't do anything but freak out. It's like I'll suffocate if I don't find something else to focus on.
That's why I started running until it hurt. Ever since I accidently overtaxed my powers, I never really gave myself the chance to recupe. If I had it wouldn't hurt me to run now, but I would probably just use a knife anyway. Running just seems less morbid if you ask me. I don't want to kill myself or anything. I just need something to distract me from my own damn thoughts. It's odd how pain takes your mind off things. At least I know *why* I do it now though. I thought I had lost my mind at one point.
I'm pretty sure Rogue knows that I'm faking having all my strength back since the whole poisoning incident. I'm pretty sure she wanted to ask me if I knew anything about how the poison got into the food too, but she never did. She knows I don't know anything about it, so why bother to insult me and risk me getting all mad– another thing I do a lot. I'm not sure how I know all that about Rogue, but I do. Something about the way she words things and tiptoes around certain subjects– like the poisoning. Well, that and the fact that I know Rogue really well. She's been weird lately, but I don't even wanna think about that. All girls are weird as far as I'm concerned. I love 'em– but even as a guy who's been considered slightly on the feminine side, which I resent (So I have a fashion obsession, big deal!), I still don't get the way girls think sometimes, most guys don't.
Anyway, she doesn't need to worry about me so much because I don't think Hank buys my act either. Sucks that my shrink hasta be the actual doctor as well. Whatever.
If anything, it's Lance that needs to take a chill pill in the whole worrying department. I think he's stuck in this bizarre twilight zone where he goes back in forth between being a really sick teenager to a strong older brother, or in Todd's case Lance is like the father. Thank goodness Todd doesn't see me as the father figure in his life, it'd scare the crap out of me. I don't even know what a father is supposed to act like. But back to Lance. Nineteen is a weird enough age. He's not really an adult exactly, but he's not a kid either. Plus he's really sick. I didn't realize it until after his surgery, but when he was laying there, hardly able to talk, it hit me. I'd never seen Lance 'weak' before. Beat up? A million times, sometimes by me. (Four teenage guys sharing the same house can be a little rough no matter how close you are. Besides, I was so not in the mood for his stupid joking around a lot of the time) 'Weak' however, is not a word I thought I'd ever use to describe Lance. I've never seen him cry either, thank goodness. The first time Todd lost it in front of us I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. Here's a secret: guys just *don't* cry in front of *anyone.* Maybe they would in front of a girl occasionally, but never in front of another guy. (That's another one of the million things I don't get about girls.) So of course me and Lance didn't have a clue what we were supposed to do. A few months prior, we would have laughed at him. Harsh as that sounds, it's just kinda how I envision us responding because we didn't have anything else to say. Life just sucked too much for the toad at that moment to make fun of him though. After that whole event, the three of us just kinda... changed.
I've decided that there's two little worlds to the brotherhood trio. There's the one that everybody sees where we are just your average group of guys that hang out. Then there's the one where we created our own little family. Do you really think I'd willingly massage another guy's shoulders? Ick. The only time that kind of weirdness is ok is when you're related to the guy...so I guess I literally see Lance as a brother. I don't even get it really, I just know that Lance and Todd are the only males under thirty that have seen me cry since about the second grade. (Which still embarrasses the hell out of me)
I realized the day of the poison chaos that if it weren't for our fake family, I would be insane. Not just a mess, but I mean literally insane. I'll admit I've had my brushes with nuttyness, but without those two, I would have collided with nuttyness head on and be in a straight jacket by now. I'm not going to bother trying to explain all the hows and whys of that to myself, but I know it's true. In fact, there was one time, where I was out in the street at night. Why? Hell if I know, the point is I was there. But I was just standing there, staring at the oncoming headlights. I started to laugh in one of those truly insane laughs. Not the movie kind where it's all maniacal and stuff, just a soft, bone chilling, laugh. I ran at the car, then darted to the side of it at the last nanosecond, smiling like an idiot the whole time. Then Todd and Lance came out looking for me and I suddenly had no idea what I was being such a moron for. If they hadn't come, I'd probably have lost what little sanity I still had at the time. It was weird and, to be perfectly honest, more than a little terrifying.
More importantly, I realized that a family was the one thing I wanted more than anything else. Not a fake one, or a twisted one, a *real* one, like Evan has. I want my *own* family. Unfortunately, *my* family was made up of a mother I never knew, a father set on ruling the world, and a sister who is so brainwashed it's a wonder she even knows her own name. The truth of the matter is that when I saw Kitty's parents so worried and frantic, and all my father could do was shove a needle up my arm to let me know he was there– it hurt, and I don't mean the needle. It was like one of those really descriptive novels where if I had put everything into words it would have gone something like, 'The searing pain drove into my chest like a nail with a blunt end. It tore and scratched at my soul like a tiger gnawing on its prey,' or something cheesy like that. I wish I could hate him, I really do. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't. He's crazy, and I hate a lot of the stuff he does, but he's my *father,* the only one I've got. The thing about it that scares me the most.... is I'm not sure what I'd be willing to do for his acceptance. I don't want to be a part of a massive mutant war, I really don't, but... he's the only father I've got... the only thing I really want...
~*~Todd~*~
AN: Not much to say really. I think I did the worst job on Todd's :( Sorry.
Alright yo, how do you know if you're crazy or not? Cuz personally I think blanking out selective things and replacing them with allusions is freaky. I'm nuts. That's all there is to it. Half the time I wonder if what I ate for breakfast is real or not. My mom was real, unfortunately. I should probably feel worse then I do about her being the way she is. I mean I wish she cared and all, but she don't, so no point in sulking about it. What scares me is that I know there are crappier memories hidden back here somewhere and eventually they're gonna come out. It's like a creepy horror film yo. Just this creepy 'something' sneaking up behind you and ready to wound you just enough to leave you for dead. I'm gonna hate the freaking session with baldy. He's gonna make me say it all out loud and talk it out. I hate admitting that it helps.
Since I'm thinking bout things I hate admitting, why not bring up another? I hate that I'm such a leech. I'd really like to be able to survive on my own one day... but as of now, I can't see that happening. Every other day I have a fit and melt down into this weird 'lost' feeling. I wouldn't make it through those fits with out Lance and Pietro. It's disgusting. I have to rely on two teenagers, one who's so obsessed with his appearance that it makes me cringe and another who pretends to be tough as nails even when he knows he's not, to help me with my problems. It's pathetic. I don't even care that it's a little weird anymore... I just gotta have someone to hold onto me and keep me in the real world. Otherwise I may just slip into insanity land forever. I used to think it was happy land... but no... it's insanity.
Pietro cares that it's weird. He'd rather gouge his eyes out than have people see him all screwed up. I think maybe Pietro and me would never be friends if we'd met under different circumstances. Hell, he'd prolly be one of the jerks in school who'd pick on me all the time. He's all cool and stuff and I'm– let's face it– a toad. You know at least blue boy doesn't look disgusting, just weird. Besides, some girls like the whole fur thing. Slime doesn't usually go over to big. What the hell am I supposed to do with this tongue anyway? Not that it matters. No girl's ever wanted to be near enough to me to get that far on the subject.
Anyway yo...Pietro is all cool and stuff, so yeah, I doubt we'd be friends. Heck I don't even know if you can call us friends. It's not like we hang out much and stuff. At the house we more or less played pranks on each other and tried to kill each other a couple of times. He probably thinks I'm really immature too, which I am. When I think about it though, he's exactly how I would picture a big brother. I mean, we wouldn't have been friends under normal circumstances, but we didn't really have a choice in the matter. He picks on me, like a brother and gets mad at me when I act dumb, like a brother. Then there is the nicer side of him that defends me even when I deserve to be hit, just because no one is aloud to mess with me but him and Lance apparently. Then there is the whole off bond the three of us have that creeps me out completely. I don't get it really, but I'm not gonna bother to try.
So ya then Lance is one of those surprising people. Who knew the guy was afraid of needles?! He kinda reminds me of Rogue. Cuz Rogue acts all bad ass but we all know she's actually a softie. I wouldn't call Lance a softie, but he ain't all tough either. Somewhere along the line I think me an' Pietro broke him. It was probably me actually, when I just broke down. It wasn't *my* fault. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to stay the toad, the pesky kid everyone kinda has to look after. No responsibilities, just be the toad. But with Lance sick and the three of us getting beat up on by my ex best friend, it just wasn't gonna work out anymore. Anybody would have broken down if they had to mature five years in five minutes. It was all overwhelming and crap. I guess it was a good thing in the end. We were never the same after that... the three of us.
Pietro and Lance are my weird friends that I can't explain, and now I've got normal friends- Rahne and Sam. I don't know how it happened but it did. They're cool I guess. Rahne talks a whole freakin lot, but I guess most girls do. I bet Sam likes her, but she likes Roberto... uhh, at least I think. She's kinda weird. Besides, Sam's to shy to do anything about it anyway. But anyway, having normal friends is kinda nice I guess. They just hang out and talk to me and it isn't like group therapy or something. I told them a little about my memory junk and they sympathized and stuff... but they aren't 'part' of it like Lance and Pietro are. I think that's the major difference. Lance and Pietro are a 'part' of me and all my issues, and Rahne and Sam are just observers... like not really involved directly in my life. Wow, did I just think something deep?
School starts again soon. Not that I'm scared or anything, but it's like this oncoming dread. I'm terrible at school stuff. Pietro is like a freakin super genius and he don't even realize it! That ticks me off. If I was that smart I'd prolly show off too much though. Lance won't be there to keep an eye on me though, so I'll be able to skip more. Ever since they help him back his senior year for missing too many days, Lance never let me or Pietro skip. I don't really know why we listened to him. It's not like he was *really* in charge...but we obeyed him anyway. I guess it's cuz of his whole 'fatherish' role he played at the house. I feel like such a dork every time I think of it like that, but it's true. Lance is as close as I ever got to a dad.
My legs still ache. I guess the muscles in em are from my mutation... that would make sense. I'd get some asprin but I'd feel bad taking them. Ever since I figured out just how bad Lance's headaches were, I feel all dumb for whining about minor pains. I'm a real wimp though. Whatever, my legs will heal eventually and I won't have to have this argument with myself all the time.
AN: Again, I'm mega mega mega sorry that this isnt a real chapter... I *will* get another up I promise... it just might take longer than usual.
Review please :) It's like my happy pill or something lol.
I'd also like to add that I'm an idiot and last chapter when Magneto says "[Lance] has this odd desire to do good..." What I *MEANT* to have him say was "...has this odd desire to do good in the eyes of humans and the rest of this world. He wants to please them and only I can break him of it" It just kinda changes what I was trying to have him say so grrrr lol. So do me a favor and pretend he said that instead.. Even if u don't think it makes much of a difference lol.
And thank goodness you guys don't want the stupid numbered recruits lol. They were beginning to bug the crap out of me.
PS. If you take anything in this fic as slash... think again lol cuz it's not intended to be... ever. So even if they do stuff that'd be considered odd for guys... get over it lol. Cuz to be honest... not all guys are terrified to show some type of affection...it just seems to be some sort of taboo to some ppl for a guy to hug another guy. I don't get it personally... but whatever. None of this is slash and none of it will be slash. Oh yeah, and please don't send me a million reviews saying I should be open minded and blah blah blah, cuz I am. Just cuz I'm not writing the characters as gay doesn't mean I'm all discriminatory against gays... u can just ask my many gay friends... but anyway... now that that's been said.
Review responses- Yeesh there's a lot! Thank you sooo much. Since there's a lot... I'm not gonna respond to every single one. Just know that I greatly appreciate ALL of them.
Incrediblecuznz- You poor thing! You remind me of my best friend... weird stuff happens to her all the time. She had what we called "the white spot on the back of the throat" disease. Never did find out what it actually was. Her tonsils disappeared once too. Two doctors couldn't find them... turns out they were there, just really small. She's perfectly healthy though if that's any encouragement. Kurt's flea problem is now officially in your honor cuz he's all itchy too ok? Anyway, I'm glad you like the super villainy version of Mags... but Im having trouble with hin lol. I need to balance him out a bit better... hes still gonna be all super villainy tho.
SilverFox1- Nope... don't think I'm gonna do any OC's. Anywho... I was *really* kicking myself about the whole hospital scene, but it's too late to change it now. :( Magneto does seem to think he has Pietro all figured out. :) Question is... does he?
Hybryd0- NEVER BE AFRAID TO REVIEW :) :) :) I love reviews. Thank you :)
Yma- Oooo, mr cortez dude sounds neat. Unfortunately I've never heard of him
Mandy- Dang... I did leave them out... o well lol
MiracleChick- Ahhh... you came back :) I knew you would. Anyway, Marissa was a jerk face lol. The tic tac toe thing... yeah- id've been like yeah um, leave. I had to make *something* happen besides just random nurses doing random stuff... so I made a perky annoying brat lol. With Kitty and sinking to China...yeah I just don't get how she doesn't ever just keep sinking. Cuz she phases into the ground sometimes and im like uhhhh... hello! Anyway...you know something... I forgot Scott was an orphan lol.. I'm such a dork... anyway.
KS-Fan- Pyro... umm lol, I may want to kick myself for that one later. I may do something with it I may not. I have an idea but it may not work the way I want it to, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Anyway, Magneto is the main reason I'm stuck at the moment. Bad author bad! Lol, cuz ur right... he is a closet case evil. He reminds me of Hitler actually... cuz he's all obsessed with superior race and he tries to get all these 'converts' and stuff and he's really horrible... but of course HE doesn't think he's evil and terrible and he's got mutants jumping at the chance to be on his team so ya. I think he knows he's a manipulator too.. But he wouldn't ever actually *say* he was cuz everything he does is justified as far as he's concerned. So pretty much I was being a cheater and lazy and not developing his character and just having him state things as fact instead of writing him with that personality. Way cheesy of me and bleh lol. I'll work it out tho... somehow. Oh yeah, thanks for disagreeing with Nat (sorry Nat lol, nothing personal).
Luna fox- Ack! Sorry bout the mis spelling. I make ur day? Wow... thanks lol.
Deacon- Yeah, I really want to do more with Logan... but there is so much going on that it's hard to fit it in
Nat- Yeah I'm on the same side as KS-Fan... and not just cuz I wrote it lol. But Pietro has to be American in the series cuz he's known Evan forever. And I knew the comic Maximoff's were nice.. But they've never been in evo so yeah. Seems to me if they were nice they woulda been trying to get their son out of jail...yeesh lol. But anyway...it's a valid point... I just didn't stick to the comic past
SlickAmber- Yeah, they are ooc... but I decided a few chapters into it that I really didn't care anymore, cuz they are such a mess that they wouldn't be acting like their usual selves anyway. As for your questions... 1) Rogue and Pietro... It'll screw Pietro over in the end to get all involved with someone. So as of now it's all one sided. 2) lol... I was waiting for someone to bring that up actually... I meant to say this in an AN awhile ago and then forgot. It isn't and wont be slash in any way shape or form ok? 3) Nah... I like her too but not for this fic... too hyper. Sorry.
LadyRaye- Yay! Thanks for the ooc comment
~*~Lance~*~
AN: So he doesn't really think about himself much... but that was the point lol. He's too preoccupied with Todd and Pietro to care about what's wrong with him.
Ok, so it's been forever and I *still* feel like crap. I try and move around a little more everyday and so everyday I wake up sore. If I don't move around though, I'm afraid the boredom might take over. Laying in bed for hours on end really gives a guy the chance to think about stuff though, that's for sure.
The most pressing matter at the moment is Todd. Last week it was Pietro, but this week it's Todd. I'm worried for him. Man, I worry way to much, as Kitty informs me just about everyday, but I can't help it. It's like I'm responsible for them or something. I don't have a clue why I feel that way, but it doesn't matter because that's just how it is. Maybe it's because I like the way it feels to take care of someone, to like, be strong enough for others. Wow, I'm including 'like' in my thoughts now. Maybe I should spend a little less time with Kitty and Kurt and more time with Todd. It's kinda awkward around Kitty and Kurt together sometimes.
Anyway, Todd. Those memories have gotta scare the hell out of him. I gotta admit, when he went psycho that day, I felt like I failed him or something. I mean, I know it's not *my* fault, but I'm supposed to protect him... or something? I don't know. I don't know why he chose me as his father figure. It's pretty twisted. I'm definitely not the best candidate for the job that's for sure. I mean, be reasonable. I'm a 19 year old who barely graduated high school (a year late I might add), tried to kill himself at one point, and destroyed his parents home because of a temper tantrum...I really don't think that qualifies as mature enough to be a father. Although destroying my house wasn't *really* my fault. I wasn't aware I could take a house down just because I was angry at that time.
That's another thing that bothers me. I want my powers back. It's weirding me out that I can't use them. McCoy is always going on about how dangerous it would be to test them out right after surgery. Considering the type of headaches I've had before, I'm not too eager to find out what kind of pain I can inflict on myself. Been there, done that. I just feel really exposed without them, yeah, that's it...exposed.
Now that I think about inflicting pain, I wonder if Pietro managed to stop his running. At least with Pietro I can understand what he's going through. I hate that he makes me take those stupid sleeping pills. Then again I probably wouldn't sleep at all if he didn't. It's kinda weird to me that he and Todd don't realize how much I need them around. They take care of me more than they realize. Back at the house, when they brought me asprin without me asking for it, or turned the TV off when they could just tell my head was ready to explode, or when they'd purposely get Fred focused on them when they knew I couldn't handle a beating... that was kinda cool. I have to be reminded that *someone* cares about my existence.
I can't figure out when I became Lance the mighty comforter though. That one still gets me. I mean Kitty, that was easy. All you gotta do is hold her and tell her the world will be ok again, but that's Kitty. The first time I hugged Todd, like *really* hugged him, was the creepiest thing ever. But what the hell was I supposed to do? Just stand there and watch him cry his eyes out? That was also one of the creepiest things ever while I'm thinking about it. Pietro was even creepier when he cried. Todd it just seemed a little more fitting, him being so young and all, but Tro? Nuh-uh. He doesn't do stuff like that. Man, and then Fred has to go and walk in on Todd crying and me hugging him and officially labels us homos. The ass hole. The whole thing was awkward and weird and creepy already and he had to go and be a prick. Uhg, the whole thing just makes me sick. Actually no, I really am sick...damn medicine.
I think maybe it was a bad idea to move me back in my room. I'm gonna end up waking the other guys up and personally, having them staring at me while I'm gagging up what little I can eat really isn't pleasant. Aw man, Pietro's already awake. Least he's actually in bed and not off tearing his muscles up. So now I get to lay here with this rancid taste in my mouth and wait for the room to stop spinning so I can go clean up. Nice. Life sucks sometimes.
So anyway, I wish Magneto would hurry up and make another move so I can tell him to leave us the hell alone. I shoulda just stayed with the Johnsons instead of going with Mystique. I wonder whatever happened to them anyway. Can you just tell the state that the kid you were fostering disappeared? Man, maybe if I hadn't become such a delinquent I coulda stayed there. I go through all the trouble of straightening myself out and getting over my messed up and depressed stage only to screw up my second chance. I'm such a genius.
Damn, Rogue's awake. Oh well, least she knows how to tell when people don't want to talk. Rogue's real perceptive like that. Crap... she better not tell Pietro she likes him. Not that she would since she won't even admit it to herself yet, but still. Pietro has too much to think about already. I'll bet it's really scary inside his head, as fast as everything goes. Add one more dilemma to the mix and I bet he'll go running off again. I'm still trying to figure out what he was trying to do when he ran off and nearly killed himself. He looked really confused and frantic and then just took off. Me and Todd have found him more than once slightly... off balance I guess is a good way to put it. That scares me. I hope McCoy knows what he's doing.
It seems like all the adults are so... genuine about caring that we're here. It's pretty different from Mystique. She never cared what we did. Logan is my favorite... no shame in having a favorite right? I mean the others are alright, but Logan treats me more like a man than the others do. Cuz technically I'm an adult, but I wouldn't say I'm a man yet. Well maybe out loud I would, but I don't think I'd mean it. Then again I'm definitely not a kid anymore. Logan though... I don't know. It's weird stuff, like on the plane ride back over here. I think all of the instructors would have come to watch me puke and pat me on the shoulder but nope. Mr. Logan kept right on flying the plane and didn't say a word about me hurling– in the air sick bag this time. I liked that. He doesn't sugar anything down for me either. He told me straight up that my friends were hurt and that it was dangerous people who did it.
I've got to force myself to sleep. If I don't, I'll start worrying more. I'm gonna get an ulcer or something from all this worrying...wouldn't surprise me.
~*~Pietro~*~
AN: This one is really kinda jumpy and random...but I did it on purpose. Stuff in Pietro's head is fast, so yeah. This one is the longest mostly cuz it was the most fun to write so I just kept typing lol.
I really can't believe it. I can actually *count* my ribs just from my reflection, and every pair of pants I own are now so loose that not even a belt can keep them in place. Stupid self destructiveness. Stupid mutation. Stupid father. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Yeesh, way to be optimistic huh? Hank says if I had a better attitude about stuff then I would probably feel a lot better, but Hank says a lot of stuff. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't. It all depends on my mood. I hate being so moody. I gotta admit it though: Hank helps...a lot more than I give him credit for actually. I almost tore the guy's lab up during one of my many, err, hissy fits. I really like that he lets me help him out in the lab with all that research he does. Secretly, I love science. I don't know if I would like it as much without my mutation, but I think all that chemical and genetic stuff is really interesting...I'm such a dork. But yeah, I throw hissy fits; isn't that mature of me? I'll shoot myself before I ever do that in front of the X-Geeks again though. It's just sometimes, I don't know what else to do. My thoughts are so freaking fast. I switch subjects so quickly and I tend to confuse people. It was a real problem when my powers first manifested. I'd say completely random stuff that made perfect sense to me because of my mutated thinking speed. Kids thought I was really weird because of it. Evan, being the type of person he is, (someday his niceness is gonna turn around and kick him in the ass, but that's another subject) defended me a lot, but in middle school one person coming to your defense can only help for so long. Considering Evan and I didn't have an incredibly high social status– not a low one, but still– I eventually just started to drag him down with me. He coulda dropped me at any time, but nope– I guess that's what a true friend is supposed to do; I wouldn't really know considering I've only ever had a few true friends. I'm not very good at being a true friend. The tables turned when we got to highschool, and suddenly I had social status. Not that I asked for it, but I won't say I didn't want it. I was still friends with Evan, but I didn't pull him up the ladder with me– which I guess you're supposed to do.
Anyway, I was talking about my hissy fits before I went off on that tangent... see what I mean about my thoughts being so random? They just start to all meld together at an evolved pace and when I'm thinking about depressing stuff, I can't do anything but freak out. It's like I'll suffocate if I don't find something else to focus on.
That's why I started running until it hurt. Ever since I accidently overtaxed my powers, I never really gave myself the chance to recupe. If I had it wouldn't hurt me to run now, but I would probably just use a knife anyway. Running just seems less morbid if you ask me. I don't want to kill myself or anything. I just need something to distract me from my own damn thoughts. It's odd how pain takes your mind off things. At least I know *why* I do it now though. I thought I had lost my mind at one point.
I'm pretty sure Rogue knows that I'm faking having all my strength back since the whole poisoning incident. I'm pretty sure she wanted to ask me if I knew anything about how the poison got into the food too, but she never did. She knows I don't know anything about it, so why bother to insult me and risk me getting all mad– another thing I do a lot. I'm not sure how I know all that about Rogue, but I do. Something about the way she words things and tiptoes around certain subjects– like the poisoning. Well, that and the fact that I know Rogue really well. She's been weird lately, but I don't even wanna think about that. All girls are weird as far as I'm concerned. I love 'em– but even as a guy who's been considered slightly on the feminine side, which I resent (So I have a fashion obsession, big deal!), I still don't get the way girls think sometimes, most guys don't.
Anyway, she doesn't need to worry about me so much because I don't think Hank buys my act either. Sucks that my shrink hasta be the actual doctor as well. Whatever.
If anything, it's Lance that needs to take a chill pill in the whole worrying department. I think he's stuck in this bizarre twilight zone where he goes back in forth between being a really sick teenager to a strong older brother, or in Todd's case Lance is like the father. Thank goodness Todd doesn't see me as the father figure in his life, it'd scare the crap out of me. I don't even know what a father is supposed to act like. But back to Lance. Nineteen is a weird enough age. He's not really an adult exactly, but he's not a kid either. Plus he's really sick. I didn't realize it until after his surgery, but when he was laying there, hardly able to talk, it hit me. I'd never seen Lance 'weak' before. Beat up? A million times, sometimes by me. (Four teenage guys sharing the same house can be a little rough no matter how close you are. Besides, I was so not in the mood for his stupid joking around a lot of the time) 'Weak' however, is not a word I thought I'd ever use to describe Lance. I've never seen him cry either, thank goodness. The first time Todd lost it in front of us I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. Here's a secret: guys just *don't* cry in front of *anyone.* Maybe they would in front of a girl occasionally, but never in front of another guy. (That's another one of the million things I don't get about girls.) So of course me and Lance didn't have a clue what we were supposed to do. A few months prior, we would have laughed at him. Harsh as that sounds, it's just kinda how I envision us responding because we didn't have anything else to say. Life just sucked too much for the toad at that moment to make fun of him though. After that whole event, the three of us just kinda... changed.
I've decided that there's two little worlds to the brotherhood trio. There's the one that everybody sees where we are just your average group of guys that hang out. Then there's the one where we created our own little family. Do you really think I'd willingly massage another guy's shoulders? Ick. The only time that kind of weirdness is ok is when you're related to the guy...so I guess I literally see Lance as a brother. I don't even get it really, I just know that Lance and Todd are the only males under thirty that have seen me cry since about the second grade. (Which still embarrasses the hell out of me)
I realized the day of the poison chaos that if it weren't for our fake family, I would be insane. Not just a mess, but I mean literally insane. I'll admit I've had my brushes with nuttyness, but without those two, I would have collided with nuttyness head on and be in a straight jacket by now. I'm not going to bother trying to explain all the hows and whys of that to myself, but I know it's true. In fact, there was one time, where I was out in the street at night. Why? Hell if I know, the point is I was there. But I was just standing there, staring at the oncoming headlights. I started to laugh in one of those truly insane laughs. Not the movie kind where it's all maniacal and stuff, just a soft, bone chilling, laugh. I ran at the car, then darted to the side of it at the last nanosecond, smiling like an idiot the whole time. Then Todd and Lance came out looking for me and I suddenly had no idea what I was being such a moron for. If they hadn't come, I'd probably have lost what little sanity I still had at the time. It was weird and, to be perfectly honest, more than a little terrifying.
More importantly, I realized that a family was the one thing I wanted more than anything else. Not a fake one, or a twisted one, a *real* one, like Evan has. I want my *own* family. Unfortunately, *my* family was made up of a mother I never knew, a father set on ruling the world, and a sister who is so brainwashed it's a wonder she even knows her own name. The truth of the matter is that when I saw Kitty's parents so worried and frantic, and all my father could do was shove a needle up my arm to let me know he was there– it hurt, and I don't mean the needle. It was like one of those really descriptive novels where if I had put everything into words it would have gone something like, 'The searing pain drove into my chest like a nail with a blunt end. It tore and scratched at my soul like a tiger gnawing on its prey,' or something cheesy like that. I wish I could hate him, I really do. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't. He's crazy, and I hate a lot of the stuff he does, but he's my *father,* the only one I've got. The thing about it that scares me the most.... is I'm not sure what I'd be willing to do for his acceptance. I don't want to be a part of a massive mutant war, I really don't, but... he's the only father I've got... the only thing I really want...
~*~Todd~*~
AN: Not much to say really. I think I did the worst job on Todd's :( Sorry.
Alright yo, how do you know if you're crazy or not? Cuz personally I think blanking out selective things and replacing them with allusions is freaky. I'm nuts. That's all there is to it. Half the time I wonder if what I ate for breakfast is real or not. My mom was real, unfortunately. I should probably feel worse then I do about her being the way she is. I mean I wish she cared and all, but she don't, so no point in sulking about it. What scares me is that I know there are crappier memories hidden back here somewhere and eventually they're gonna come out. It's like a creepy horror film yo. Just this creepy 'something' sneaking up behind you and ready to wound you just enough to leave you for dead. I'm gonna hate the freaking session with baldy. He's gonna make me say it all out loud and talk it out. I hate admitting that it helps.
Since I'm thinking bout things I hate admitting, why not bring up another? I hate that I'm such a leech. I'd really like to be able to survive on my own one day... but as of now, I can't see that happening. Every other day I have a fit and melt down into this weird 'lost' feeling. I wouldn't make it through those fits with out Lance and Pietro. It's disgusting. I have to rely on two teenagers, one who's so obsessed with his appearance that it makes me cringe and another who pretends to be tough as nails even when he knows he's not, to help me with my problems. It's pathetic. I don't even care that it's a little weird anymore... I just gotta have someone to hold onto me and keep me in the real world. Otherwise I may just slip into insanity land forever. I used to think it was happy land... but no... it's insanity.
Pietro cares that it's weird. He'd rather gouge his eyes out than have people see him all screwed up. I think maybe Pietro and me would never be friends if we'd met under different circumstances. Hell, he'd prolly be one of the jerks in school who'd pick on me all the time. He's all cool and stuff and I'm– let's face it– a toad. You know at least blue boy doesn't look disgusting, just weird. Besides, some girls like the whole fur thing. Slime doesn't usually go over to big. What the hell am I supposed to do with this tongue anyway? Not that it matters. No girl's ever wanted to be near enough to me to get that far on the subject.
Anyway yo...Pietro is all cool and stuff, so yeah, I doubt we'd be friends. Heck I don't even know if you can call us friends. It's not like we hang out much and stuff. At the house we more or less played pranks on each other and tried to kill each other a couple of times. He probably thinks I'm really immature too, which I am. When I think about it though, he's exactly how I would picture a big brother. I mean, we wouldn't have been friends under normal circumstances, but we didn't really have a choice in the matter. He picks on me, like a brother and gets mad at me when I act dumb, like a brother. Then there is the nicer side of him that defends me even when I deserve to be hit, just because no one is aloud to mess with me but him and Lance apparently. Then there is the whole off bond the three of us have that creeps me out completely. I don't get it really, but I'm not gonna bother to try.
So ya then Lance is one of those surprising people. Who knew the guy was afraid of needles?! He kinda reminds me of Rogue. Cuz Rogue acts all bad ass but we all know she's actually a softie. I wouldn't call Lance a softie, but he ain't all tough either. Somewhere along the line I think me an' Pietro broke him. It was probably me actually, when I just broke down. It wasn't *my* fault. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to stay the toad, the pesky kid everyone kinda has to look after. No responsibilities, just be the toad. But with Lance sick and the three of us getting beat up on by my ex best friend, it just wasn't gonna work out anymore. Anybody would have broken down if they had to mature five years in five minutes. It was all overwhelming and crap. I guess it was a good thing in the end. We were never the same after that... the three of us.
Pietro and Lance are my weird friends that I can't explain, and now I've got normal friends- Rahne and Sam. I don't know how it happened but it did. They're cool I guess. Rahne talks a whole freakin lot, but I guess most girls do. I bet Sam likes her, but she likes Roberto... uhh, at least I think. She's kinda weird. Besides, Sam's to shy to do anything about it anyway. But anyway, having normal friends is kinda nice I guess. They just hang out and talk to me and it isn't like group therapy or something. I told them a little about my memory junk and they sympathized and stuff... but they aren't 'part' of it like Lance and Pietro are. I think that's the major difference. Lance and Pietro are a 'part' of me and all my issues, and Rahne and Sam are just observers... like not really involved directly in my life. Wow, did I just think something deep?
School starts again soon. Not that I'm scared or anything, but it's like this oncoming dread. I'm terrible at school stuff. Pietro is like a freakin super genius and he don't even realize it! That ticks me off. If I was that smart I'd prolly show off too much though. Lance won't be there to keep an eye on me though, so I'll be able to skip more. Ever since they help him back his senior year for missing too many days, Lance never let me or Pietro skip. I don't really know why we listened to him. It's not like he was *really* in charge...but we obeyed him anyway. I guess it's cuz of his whole 'fatherish' role he played at the house. I feel like such a dork every time I think of it like that, but it's true. Lance is as close as I ever got to a dad.
My legs still ache. I guess the muscles in em are from my mutation... that would make sense. I'd get some asprin but I'd feel bad taking them. Ever since I figured out just how bad Lance's headaches were, I feel all dumb for whining about minor pains. I'm a real wimp though. Whatever, my legs will heal eventually and I won't have to have this argument with myself all the time.
AN: Again, I'm mega mega mega sorry that this isnt a real chapter... I *will* get another up I promise... it just might take longer than usual.
Review please :) It's like my happy pill or something lol.