Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters belong to SquareSoft.

Twilight by remote_mine

Chapter 1 – Octavus Anni

He sat at his desk, head hunched over the numerous papers. The dim desk lamp barely gave him enough light to read the reports, making him squint. Those cursed papers that never had the information that he wanted. Only vague reports on supposed locations of where Rinoa could be. No hard, verifiable fact in the mountain of papers. All those people he had hired for the search and no one could find anything on Rinoa's whereabouts. It was like she disappeared.

Zell sighed and leaned back in his chair as he remembered how broken Squall had been when Rinoa had left him. It just didn't make any sense. Why would she leave? What for? Such a perfect fit for each other, and then suddenly she's saying that she has to go. And here he was, running a search on the behalf of Squall Leonhart, former SeeD. The search had been running for over a year, and still there was absolutely no sign of her being even on the planet. He slammed his fist on the table in frustration at the enormity of the task. It was to find one person, who probably didn't want to be found. A famous person that people might have recognized, but only six were her friends. We were her friends. Were being the key word. I don't think she thinks of us as friends anymore. No matter what, we were always her friends, though. And one of us truly loved her. Was it because of us that she left? He muttered as he ran his eyes through the words of the useless reports, which could be simplified to saying "Sorry boss, no luck." He had to find her, as he knew that she was the only one that could fix things, make everything right.

He knew Squall was dying. He could see the changes in him; Squall just didn't have any real reason to live. Squall didn't want to live. His one love had left him, saying that she had to. It had almost been eight years, and that solitary guy didn't have anything to hold onto. He remembered that Squall had someone walk right out of his life; not once, but twice. The second was worse, as Squall had to break down his barriers erected from the first time to meet her. And nothing any of his friends did had helped Squall out of the semi-daze that he seemed to wear in self-protection. Squall was still excellent at virtually everything he did including battle, but Zell knew that his heart wasn't in it anymore. Some of those girls that seemed to have liked him were hitting on him even more, and they definitely didn't help him. It was Quistis, resorting to threatening them with detention that finally drove them away. Well, at least Quistis got over him. He grinned as he recalled the expression of shock on Selphie's face and Irvine's "you go, girl" smirk when Quistis had told them that she got over Squall, and that she had been going out with one of the other instructors for some time already.

He remembered when he saw Rinoa leave. He remembered hearing those words that tore apart Squall while he was standing there. He remembered the hollow look in Squall's eyes as they followed her out the doors of Balamb Garden.

"I love you, so I have to leave. Don't forget me. I'll come back. I promise."

Those words echoed in his mind, and they confused him even more. Thoughts he had that pestered him for years came up again. So she loves him, but she's going to leave? How could you love him if you're going to leave him when he needs you the most? Don't you remember what he told you about Sis? When Sis left, he was destroyed. And now you're leaving him. And this time, I don't think someone is going to waltz into his life and make it better. Why would you do that to him, if you love him?

He remembered seeing that Rinoa still had Griever on her necklace when she walked out of Garden, leaving a broken Squall behind. Why are you keeping the ring if you're leaving? So he searched for her, for she was the only one that could give an answer to those questions left unanswered.

~-~

She stood in the water, thinking about what had gone on with the rest of her friends during her absence. She reminisced over the events past, and suddenly the image of Squall's face appeared in her mind. His rugged features, the scar given to him by Seifer, his guarded eyes. A taste of regret filled her throat as she wondered if he still thought about her. Shaking her head, she banished the thoughts from her mind. After all these years, I still love him. Because of my love, I had to leave. But the feeling stayed with her as she got her mind off of Squall and took in the surroundings of the beach; the moonlight was reflecting off of the surface of the water, the waves cascading around her ankles to gently lap at the beach over and over, and the stars twinkling in the sky, far above.

She remembered that hated day when she had left him, walking out of Garden. She had to; she had no choice. That day when she left, she had told him, "I love you, so I have to leave. Don't forget me. I'll come back. I promise." That single minute haunted her, plagued her, and followed her everywhere. It was almost eight years since the day she had left, and the pain never faded. A slight wind chilled her skin as she strode out further in the shallow water, the water playing tricks with the light. She shivered as she remembered what had caused her to meet Squall. Those memories that she had tried to suppress for years would come even when refused, to torture her as she thought of what might have happened and what truly happened. There was no changing the past, and she acknowledged it, feeling even more hopeless as the dreadful past played back unbidden.

The ballroom dance. Her chanced first meeting with Squall; but only two people knew the truth behind that dance. One's hatred; another's love. That dance she had dragged Squall into, everyone thought of as spontaneous, but she knew better. It wasn't just a coincidence that she was at the ball, as it wasn't just a coincidence that she saw Squall. The only thing unplanned was the shooting star, and that wasn't big in the scheme of things. That fateful night, she knew that Squall was going to be there, and she knew that Seifer wasn't. That one night was a single step in the long scheme of things, and it played out the way she hoped. She remembered the fluttery feeling that she had when she walked over to him, and had passed it off to nervousness; after all, what if he really didn't want to dance? The fluttery feeling turned into one of flying as he finally got the steps right and it truly felt like she was dancing on clouds. But that perfect dance came to an end after she had spotted Cid and went off to discuss Forest Owl's liberation of Timber. She knew she would see him again, the next time with him working as a SeeD under Forest Owl. Forest Owl wasn't a setup, as they definitely could use some help. So they planned for Squall's fall using the group to their advantage.

She recalled Seifer telling her about sneaking around in the middle of the night, the thrill of avoiding the Garden Masters patrolling the corridors as he had snuck up to Cid's computer. The smirk grew deeper as he had relayed how he had broken into Garden's database and ensured a few, vital changes. One specific change guaranteed that Squall would be assigned to Forest Owl's mission. The assignment of Squall to her mission wasn't a coincidence. Neither of their meetings were 'just a coincidence.'

She knew the truth behind it all. Seifer had wanted to get back at Squall, and he knew how lonely Squall had been in his entire life. The perfect plan; when Squall loved her, she would leave him. It was Seifer's game to destroy Squall.

"He must like you. You actually got him off his favorite wall."

The summer that Rinoa and Seifer had spent together, they thought they had found their loves. And out of that love, Rinoa had chosen to do as Seifer asked; to destroy his rival. To make him fall in love with her and then leave him. And that was their day of parting ways, to find each other after.

Their pledges bound them.

"If you fall in love with him, don't worry. I'll eliminate him."

"If I fall in love with him, I'll kill him. I know I love you."

And she couldn't. She had fallen for him sometime during the war against Sorceress Ultimecia, and knew she would die if he died. So she left to save both of them, and hid her love for Squall from everything. From her first love. From her dreams. From herself. So she returned to Seifer, pretending that she never loved Squall at any point. She made herself block out the memories of them together, so that no unintentionally spoken word could betray her. She pretended that she still loved Seifer, for eight years. Eight years she wished she could erase. Eight long years. During the last few months the suppressed memories had started to break through her self-imposed barriers, weakening her self-control. Those lost moments forced her to go out to the beach, to try to calm the raging emotions that she fought continuously.

She knew he was dying. Her mind felt the fading of his spirit, dimming slowly while approaching demise. The grief she must have caused him was eating him away. And she felt it too; their separation was tearing her apart just as much at him. Tears dripped from her face as the suffering slowly consumed her, bit by bit. Two lonely hearts, finding their true love but destined to be apart. Despair clenched her heart as she felt hopelessness bubble up from the fact that nothing could be done.

~-~

Seifer woke, and felt a strange uneasiness. The bed next to him was empty. He groaned as he sat up and looked out the window. The moonlight reflecting off the water silhouetted a single figure in the water. So there she is. He knew that she enjoyed going out to the beach, to gaze at the untamed ocean. But at this hour that's not the reason. Getting up, he stretched as his muscles ached from his training the day before. The stiffness woke him up even though he had been asleep for no more than a few hours; the moon was still high up in the sky. Something was bothering her, and he knew that it weighed heavily on her mind. The past month, he noticed that she seemed to drift off a bit more often and she had taken to going to the beach in the middle of the night, like now. Something made him feel that this time was even worse, so he decided to go check up on her. Putting on a cloak, he slightly shivered as the cool wind blew in from the open window.

He stepped outside and walked toward the beach, quietly as not to disturb her. And then he saw her tears. The tears that dripped from her face, to disappear into the ebbing surf, lost into the watery expanse. She's ... crying? Something was wrong. She seemed to be so happy and carefree generally that her tears must have been over something from her past that devastated her. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her. Even so, he couldn't interrupt her. It was a personal demon that only she could deal with, and he knew he would make it worse. So he watched. He watched while the moon slowly made its way through the sky, to sink beyond the horizon. He watched as she didn't even look around, crying her heart out, oblivious to the world around her. And the uneasiness returned in full force, and he knew she wasn't happy here; he knew that they never truly loved each other. He knew.

Maybe that's what first love is; a love to define the meaning of love, to know when you truly love someone. She belonged with someone else, and he understood. He felt more than thought that that person was Squall. He was the one person that would make her happy. It made sense. The time they spent together during the war against Ultimecia was when she must have fallen in love with him. And she left him because of what we had planned. She loves him, and I can see that. Who am I to deny their happiness? He didn't belong with her either. Out there in the world was someone that he would truly be happy with, and that person wasn't Rinoa. We were fooling ourselves. This isn't love. This is a self-imposed prison. He had to set her free, so he could free himself too.

He approached her as light began to peek over the horizon, knowing that this was something both of them needed to move on. He had set himself so deeply on destroying Squall, and he had accomplished that. And he dragged Rinoa into that, and now he understood that she loved Squall. The rivalry between Squall and him was because of his jealousy for how Squall seemed to be the center of attention all the time. And he had destroyed some part of Squall with his rash decisions, and regretted it. One action to redeem himself; everyone deserved some happiness in their life. He knew he couldn't ever make up the past, but he could give Squall a better future. So he made this decision knowing there was no turning back. Finally reaching the water, he called out to her. He looked into her eyes as she turned around, and knew her pain.

"I finally understand. Go. Return to him. Heal your lives."

The hope that returned to her eyes confirmed that he had made the right decision. He knew that this might be the last time seeing each other, but he didn't regret it. If he ever saw her again, she would be much happier than she was here, and that was what truly mattered.

For this angel needed her lion.

-----

A/N: I changed the summary as I originally intended for this to be angst with a bit of romance, but instead I decided on merging this with another idea I had in mind. It'll still be angsty, but it'll be more balanced in terms of romance and angst. I hope that you guys will enjoy this story. Thanks for the reviews!

If there's someone willing to beta-read my chapters, send me an email or an IM. Again, thanks!