A/N- Yes, yes. I have finally managed to complete the third letter. Yes,
Ena (Angel Cuz, Dim Sim, Xiana Potter) it is finished. Well…here it is! Oh
and this is supposed to say 2 January not 12.
1 2 January
2:20 p.m.
Quidditch Stands
Dear Draino Malfunction,
You're very lucky that McGonagall doesn't read the letters, just accounts for them. For all you know I could've shown your letter to her and you would've been in major trouble. Insulting Cedric's memory and offending McGonagall and my friends. Fortunately for your sorry arse, I'm not a dobber. Which just so happens to bring back an all-too-familiar memory…
I seem to recall a particular blonde git dobbing on my friends and me in our first year, earning us detentions. That also cost you a detention as well, didn't it? Well, a taste of your own medicine. Oh and the look on your face when we saw that shadow drinking the unicorn's blood! You were scared out of your fancy, black robes, were you not?
And about your Nimbus 2002, my Firebolt may be slower but I have more skill. Remember the Quidditch match in second year? You may have had Nimbus 2001s but we still won. And on the subject of Quidditch; I could be training to for our game against you right now but no. I have to sit here and write this crap. But don't worry. We'll still kick Slytherin's arse.
For your information, my parents left me a small fortune when I came to Hogwarts, so I didn't need the Triwizard Tournament money. Besides, the Weasleys have recently acquired a large amount of money, so they are not poor, never were poor and never will be poor. Anyway, Ron does not need brains at all.
Those non-existent scratches you gave me didn't hurt a bit, but I bet the ones I gave you must kill like hell. Furthermore, Hermione and I aren't sleeping together nor is she interested in me. It is more likely for Ron and Hermione to get together because Ron cares for Hermione in a way I don't. Also, Hermione is not a slut or Mudblood and if you ever call her either ever again, Ron and I (not to mention many other students) will come and personally flatten that oh-so-perfect nose of yours. Or I could just inform the school that you posses a pair of frilly, red underwear that lurks in your closet, threatening to ruin your reputation. How did I know? Well, a certain elfish friend of mine told me.
I'll leave it up to Ron to tell you to stay away from Ginny. Also, do not refer to her in that way. I showed Hermione, Ron and Ginny your letter and she is not happy but still swears her undying love for you. She also doesn't believe she is eating out of your hands (or anywhere else) but the other way around. Ugh! Ginny may swoon over you but at the present situation, Hermione vomits at the thought while Ron tries to throw himself out from atop the Gryffindor tower.
Luxury Peacock Feather Quill? You actually wasted money on something that gay? It sounds like something Gilderoy Lockhart would have. You're evil, Draco Malfoy. From the first moment we met I knew you were evil.
O Mighty Malfoy, my vain and humble servant. I am privileged by thy eloquent and hollow words, for thou art the ultimate example of shallow narcissism. May thy peroxide-bleached hair and vacuous head accompany thy fortunate master in his lustrous ascent to the heavens.
Your wise and generous master,
Harry James Potter
1 2 January
2:20 p.m.
Quidditch Stands
Dear Draino Malfunction,
You're very lucky that McGonagall doesn't read the letters, just accounts for them. For all you know I could've shown your letter to her and you would've been in major trouble. Insulting Cedric's memory and offending McGonagall and my friends. Fortunately for your sorry arse, I'm not a dobber. Which just so happens to bring back an all-too-familiar memory…
I seem to recall a particular blonde git dobbing on my friends and me in our first year, earning us detentions. That also cost you a detention as well, didn't it? Well, a taste of your own medicine. Oh and the look on your face when we saw that shadow drinking the unicorn's blood! You were scared out of your fancy, black robes, were you not?
And about your Nimbus 2002, my Firebolt may be slower but I have more skill. Remember the Quidditch match in second year? You may have had Nimbus 2001s but we still won. And on the subject of Quidditch; I could be training to for our game against you right now but no. I have to sit here and write this crap. But don't worry. We'll still kick Slytherin's arse.
For your information, my parents left me a small fortune when I came to Hogwarts, so I didn't need the Triwizard Tournament money. Besides, the Weasleys have recently acquired a large amount of money, so they are not poor, never were poor and never will be poor. Anyway, Ron does not need brains at all.
Those non-existent scratches you gave me didn't hurt a bit, but I bet the ones I gave you must kill like hell. Furthermore, Hermione and I aren't sleeping together nor is she interested in me. It is more likely for Ron and Hermione to get together because Ron cares for Hermione in a way I don't. Also, Hermione is not a slut or Mudblood and if you ever call her either ever again, Ron and I (not to mention many other students) will come and personally flatten that oh-so-perfect nose of yours. Or I could just inform the school that you posses a pair of frilly, red underwear that lurks in your closet, threatening to ruin your reputation. How did I know? Well, a certain elfish friend of mine told me.
I'll leave it up to Ron to tell you to stay away from Ginny. Also, do not refer to her in that way. I showed Hermione, Ron and Ginny your letter and she is not happy but still swears her undying love for you. She also doesn't believe she is eating out of your hands (or anywhere else) but the other way around. Ugh! Ginny may swoon over you but at the present situation, Hermione vomits at the thought while Ron tries to throw himself out from atop the Gryffindor tower.
Luxury Peacock Feather Quill? You actually wasted money on something that gay? It sounds like something Gilderoy Lockhart would have. You're evil, Draco Malfoy. From the first moment we met I knew you were evil.
O Mighty Malfoy, my vain and humble servant. I am privileged by thy eloquent and hollow words, for thou art the ultimate example of shallow narcissism. May thy peroxide-bleached hair and vacuous head accompany thy fortunate master in his lustrous ascent to the heavens.
Your wise and generous master,
Harry James Potter