Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters is property of SquareSoft
Twilight by remote_mine
Chapter 3 – Indagatio
I must be dreaming.
One single phrase caught his attention. One phrase he hoped he hadn't mistaken. He reread it. And reread it, almost refusing to believe what he had read. Rubbing his eyes, he looked again at the paper, and now he was convinced that it wasn't just a hallucination.
"A person that has the appearance of the Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly has been seen leaving a hotel in Timber."
He had to tell someone, immediately. Pushing a button, he spoke into the intercom on his desk.
"SeeD Irvine Kinneas, report to SeeD Zell Dincht's office."
Zell waited impatiently, hoping that there would be some clue left when Irvine was able to continue his mission. Zell recalled the special designation that had been given to Irvine. Irvine wasn't part of the normal mission, as he was assigned specifically to stay on the Garden and have other people to find any clue as to where she was. Irvine was the one that was supposed to finalize the approach if they had a chance of running into her, as she would be less likely to attack a friend if she was hostile.
A knock on the door was heard. Getting up from his seat, he walked over to the door and opened it. Irvine was standing there, with a semi-puzzled look on his face.
"Come in." Zell turned back to his desk, looking for that one report he had just seen. Finding it, he turned back to Irvine. "Here."
He watched Irvine's eyes widen quite a bit as he digested what was in the report.
Looks like there's some hope after all, isn't there? Maybe those questions unanswered can finally be answered.
"This is your next assignment, Irvine. We are currently four hours away from Timber. The moment we stop, you are to go into the city of Timber and search for any clues as to where Rinoa had gone."
"Yes, sir." With that, Irvine took the report and left, leaving Zell to his thoughts.
After eight years, she finally shows up. I can't believe it.
He decided that Squall definitely needed to be told. He wasn't so sure if it was the best idea, but it would probably help Squall deal with the problem some. The only reason he decided on telling Squall was because it was a commitment to a friend; normal SeeD policy dictated that only those who were necessary to know the details of a mission were to be told. He justified telling Squall through one thought:
At least Squall would know that she's alive. He would be probably even worse off if he thought she died.
Walking out of his office, he locked the door. He had no idea where Squall would be at this time of the day, so he decided to go to his room first. He knocked on the door. No response.
Hmm, maybe he's not here.
The Training Center was probably the next most logical place to look, as he remembered that Squall always liked to fight. Going back into the main ring that connected the parts of the Garden, he walked toward the Training Center. Just inside the door he saw a bunch of dead Grats, and he could recognize the slash marks of a gunblade.
Must be fighting something to take his mind off things.
He walked deeper into the Training Center, the familiar heat and humidity clinging to his skin, making him itchy. Ignoring it, he walked deeper into the jungle overgrowth, looking around for the one person that he considered his best friend. And almost immediately, he saw him taking on a T-Rexaur which seemed infuriated that it could not take a bite out of the person cutting off chunks of its flesh. Zell watched as Squall drove the gunblade into its heart, causing it to fall backwards and land with a loud thud. As Squall cleaned off his gunblade by wiping it on the short grass, Zell approached him.
Oh man, I hope that he doesn't overreact or do something rash. He's Squall, but maybe Rinoa leaving affected him more than we thought.
"What." Squall had heard the noise of Zell's boots shuffling through the short grass as he walked toward him.
It wasn't even a question, more like a demand. Zell could see some of the fury in his eyes that was directed at the T-Rexaur had not completely subsided yet. He gulped and organized his thoughts before saying something that he felt was an enormous event to Squall.
"Rinoa has been seen leaving a hotel." He watched, puzzled, as Squall seemed to take that event like someone saying "The weather is nice." He thought that Squall would have wanted to hear news like that, but apparently the reaction he had gotten from Squall told him he had been wrong.
A slight whisper almost went unheard.
"Where?"
Zell nearly shrank back in fear, as the way that Squall said it seemed to back it with a forceful threat even though it was no more than a murmur.
"Timber." He got no response from Squall as he seemed to be totally unfazed by what he had heard. Leaving, Zell walked toward the entrance of the Training Center, pondering the response he had gotten from Squall.
That's nothing like how I thought he would react. Maybe he got over her? No, then he wouldn't have asked about 'Where.'
Even more confused than before, he strode to the Cafeteria to get something to eat.
~-~
He paced the room over and over, without paying any attention to where he was walking. The only thing that snapped him out of his reverie was that he almost bumped into the wall when he got a little too distracted by his thoughts. After being startled, he went straight back to walking back and forth, contemplating the sudden reappearance of Squall's significant other.
Where was she all those years? Why'd she leave? What's going on? Does she know about the hunt by Esthar, more specifically Odine? None of this is making sense.
Irvine's thoughts flit around his mind at a rapid pace, bring back old questions and making new ones at the same time. The doubts that plagued him hit him again, even worse than before. Something in it flirted with the consciousness of his mind, but he could not grasp what it was or meant. It was teasing him, making him wonder what was seriously going to happen. The thing that finally brought him back to reality was the sudden silence from the Garden's motors as the Garden stopped near Timber. His mission was near.
A loud crackle on the Public Announcement broke the silence that had filled the room. "SeeD Irvine Kinneas report to SeeD Zell Dincht's Office."
Looks like I'm up. This isn't just some mission. This is for two friends, and I'm definitely not going to fail them. I lost my childhood friends once, and this time I'm not going to lose Squall and the only person he ever loved.
Walking to the elevator, he saw Selphie, who had mellowed slightly over the years but still quite energetic. Acknowledging her presence with a nod, he smiled at her. "Hey, Sefie!"
"Irvine! I was looking for you!" She ran over to him, getting onto the elevator at the same time. "I just saw Squall. He seemed even more depressed than normal."
The arm he had wrapped around her shoulders tensed slightly. "What? Where was he?" Her statement shocked him, because he couldn't believe that Squall could be even worse than before.
What's going on now? What could make him even more depressed?
"He was walking out of the dorms. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't respond. So I bugged him, and he finally said he was leaving." The elevator gave off a tone as it stopped on the floor, filling the momentary silence as the doors hissed open.
"I'm going to talk to Zell about my new mission." He released his arm from her shoulders.
"Oh, okay. I'll wait outside for you!" With that, she gave him a peck on the cheek, making him blush slightly at the gesture of affection. He gave her a grin and turned to walk toward Zell's office.
Zell's voice was muffled through the door. "Come in."
Opening the door, Irvine looked at Zell. "I'm thinking that my mission is ready?"
"Yes." Zell was quiet for a moment but spoke again. "I told Squall that we had information on her whereabouts."
Irvine understood why Zell had seemed reluctant to tell him what he had done, and also knew that he would have done the same if he had been in the same situation. A friend's more important than SeeD protocol. "How did he take the news?"
"No reaction whatsoever." But what did Sefie just tell me? Seeing Squall...
"Come on! Get your butt out of that chair and move it!"
An expression of bewilderment covered Zell's face, as Irvine glared at him. "What?"
"Selphie just said that Squall told her he was leaving."
Hearing that, Zell jumped out of his chair and ran out, slammed the door shut and followed Irvine who had run immediately to where Selphie was waiting. Stopping a few feet from her, he huffed as he caught his breath for a moment. "Zell told Squall earlier about seeing Rinoa in Timber. He told you he was leaving?"
"Yes, he said 'I'm leaving.'" She looked back at Irvine, comprehension dawning on her features. "Oh no. He wants to find her first, doesn't he?"
I am not going to let Squall do something he'll regret. I don't think he ever got over Rinoa. With a forced calmness, he gave one order. "Let's go."
The three ran to the elevator, hoping against hope that they might be able to catch him before he got too far.
Irvine led the way, stopping at the entrance. Looking at the gatekeeper, he questioned him. "Did you see someone leave a few minutes ago?"
"SeeD Leonhart left a few minutes ago. He said he needed to do something important, and he was the Commander before, so I let him go."
That was the only answer Irvine needed, as he ran out of the Garden, wondering where Squall could have gone. The bitter coldness of the night whipped at his jacket, making him shiver. Stars twinkled brightly, giving everything a washed out look. Approaching Timber's entrance, he turned back to Zell and Selphie trailing him while thinking of possible courses of action. "Zell, you check the hotel and ask for information. Selphie, come with me."
Irvine walked past the hotel, wondering if Squall was still at Timber. "Sefie, any idea of where to look?"
"Let's check the train stations!" She ran off ahead, forcing Irvine to sprint to keep up.
I'm not in shape anymore. Must be the fact I use a gun.
She disappeared off behind the pet shop, only to appear moments later while shaking her head. "That one's not open."
He grumbled and remembered the last time he had been here with the rest of the gang. It had been when they were celebrating the liberation of Timber, when Galbadia had finally acceded to releasing Timber.
Rinoa looked so happy with Squall by her side. Now Squall wants to do something, and I have no idea what. Great, now I remember. They had added more train stations to link Timber to the rest of the world.
"Let's check the other ones, then." With that, they took off at a sprint toward the rest of the train stations, wondering if any of the train stations were open at this hour. Bright moving lights from the side caught his attention. A train was pulling out, leaving behind dust. "Sefie! That one!"
He ran ahead of Selphie to the station while looking after the departing train, wondering as to why he hadn't noticed that one earlier. Spotting the train attendant, he rushed up to her while Selphie waited some distance away.
She looked at him, and shook her head. "No more trains heading for Fisherman's Horizon tonight. We're closed."
Is that where Squall went?
He took out his identification card and held it up for her to read. "Irvine Kinneas, SeeD from Balamb Garden. Was there a man carrying a gunblade that just boarded that train? That would be Commander Leonhart."
"Yes, he was carrying a blue gunblade. That was the famous Commander Leonhart? I didn't recognize him. He seemed to be preoccupied about something."
That was all Irvine needed to hear. He turned to Selphie, and gave her a look that told her that Squall was gone. Bringing out his radio's mouthpiece, he flipped the radio communicator to the frequency Zell's radio was on. "Zell, come in!"
A crackle of static was the only reply to Irvine's voice. "Zell, can you hear me?!"
Nothing. Only more static. "Zell's not picking up. Let's go find him." With that, they ran off back through the streets of Timber. A sudden voice coming from his earpiece startled him. "Find something, Irvine?"
"Squall's gone on a train headed for Fisherman's Horizon."
"The person at the hotel told me that there was someone who had checked into the hotel that did look like Rinoa, and she left in the morning. He saw her head for the new train stations. And not ten minutes ago, some guy came in here and asked if they knew where a person with dark hair and brown streaks had gone to."
"Guess he found out where she's going. We've got to find her first, before Squall does. Something tells me that he wants to do something drastic because of her turning up."
"Head back to Garden. We're going to FH."
~-~
The dim starlight highlighted the outline of the lone figure in the room. She lay on the bed, controlling her breathing. It was a futile attempt, as every time she thought of her past or future, her breaths would quickly escape her control. But it didn't really matter. She had been given a second chance, one which she knew she didn't deserve.
Rinoa stretched out, taking as much room in the bed as possible. The train ride had taken longer than she expected, but she had to start somewhere. FH was the most logical place, as Balamb Garden docked there frequently during the Sorceress War plus the Ragnarok could usually be found there.
Eight years. Eight years, and I'm finally free. I have to see Squall.
Feelings of fear started to creep through her.
What if he doesn't want to see me? Will he ever forgive me?
Yet she knew she owed it to him to fulfill her promise to him. She was afraid. Afraid of what had happened in her absence, afraid of the future. She could see that the only way to live on without regrets was to fight for what she wanted. She wanted to be by Squall's side, through life and till death. Even so, more doubts plagued her.
Maybe he hates me for what I did. If he does, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I don't know how much I hurt him, but I have to try to heal it. He's given me more than I ever deserved, and I did what all the other people in his life had done: left him.
With those thoughts, she slowly drifted off into a state between unconsciousness and dreaming. And those dreams that always followed her rematerialized, to haunt her.
She could see the blood gushing out of that gash in his chest, and the darkness slowly creep up around him. Nothing she tried helped, the blood dripping down his clothes to stain the ground. The pain and agony ripped through her mind once more, leaving her paralyzed. And again the darkness overtook him, leaving only his blood behind as a final symbol for her failure to protect her knight.
She awoke panting heavily, and thoughts hidden came to her.
A Sorceress and her Knight are bound together. Both must protect each other, for a Knight without their Sorceress is one doomed to pain and suffering. But a Sorceress who loses their Knight loses sight of who they are.
Rubbing her eyes, she tried to reorganize her thoughts into something more coherent.
I was to protect Squall just as he was to protect me. I failed him when I left. I never should have left. He protected me, saved me and I couldn't save him. The last thing I can do is to try to save him from the hell he's going through. I have to try.
Sudden lights that shone through the window momentarily blinded her. Rubbing her eyes, her vision cleared somewhat. And when she opened them again, she was certain she was dreaming. She could see Balamb Garden through her window, and tried to wake up. And when she got out of bed and her feet touched the cold oak floors, she knew she wasn't dreaming. Hurriedly dressing, she hoped that she would be able to talk to one of her old friends and be allowed onto Garden, even for just a few minutes.
Finished dressing, she nearly ran out of her room and toward the only place she wanted to be. Three people covered by the darkness stepped from the shadowy balcony, slowly approaching her. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she recognized all of them. Her friends. "Selphie! Zell! Irvine!"
But the figures didn't reply. Puzzled, she watched them slowly approach her. Their expressions struck terror into her heart as she saw how worried they looked. Too swept up in her emotions, Rinoa ran immediately to Selphie and hugged her tight. "I've wanted to see you guys for so long."
Zell broke the group's silence. "We did too. We need your help. But I want to clear up a few things. Why did you leave?"
She had to tell them. It was the only way for her to have a fresh start. And the enormity of what she had done struck her again, knowing that she would never find respite for her actions.
But I don't believe I would have ever met Squall if not for that.
That thought was a small excuse for what she had done, and it tormented her.
The expressions that she saw on their faces as she told them the reason made it even harder to bear. She saw their hurt and how they felt betrayed by one that they had willingly befriended. She felt their regret for pushing Squall and her together. She tasted the bitterness of what they thought for her. She heard their silent thoughts of how they despised her.
"Love can control you." That single sentence spoken by Selphie brought her out of her world where she had been torturing herself.
And then she knew what she had felt was what she thought of her own actions, not them.
My friends. They're truly my friends. They are the ones that love me even though I hate myself for what I have done.
"We need your help. I told Squall of your reappearance in Timber, and he left the moment we stopped there. We found out he was heading here. I don't know what he wants to do, but it involves you in some way. I might be asking you a lot, but if you love Squall, do this for him. Tell him the truth. That's the only way you two will be able to have a new start." Zell's voice still echoed in her mind even after he stopped talking.
"I will. I made a promise to him, and I won't lose him." Her voice was quiet, and it was almost a relief to say those words. A weight had been lifted off her. So she stepped into the Garden's entrance, waiting for the moment. She waited for the moment where she would be able to look again at the only person she truly loved.
Time has a curious pattern. Whenever a person goes through life, the consistency of time seems to fluctuate. A person enjoying something, and time will fly by faster than their knowledge. A person loathing something, and time slows down exponentially. But when faced with waiting that is when time is at its most inconsistent. One who wants time to slow, it suddenly seems to pick up in speed. And when one wants time to speed up, time slows.
But the time Rinoa spent waiting for Squall seemed an eternity and an instant. She wanted to see him so badly, and feared their reunion just the same. She didn't know how he would react when he found out the truth, and she knew it was her fault for bringing on all this pain and suffering for both. So she waited.
And the time came. She saw three people trailing one lone figure as she sat waiting for him. She watched him as he walked toward her, with an unreadable expression. Those eyes that had a glint of life after the entire Ultimecia fiasco were even duller than before. The frown that she had so vividly remembered the first time she had seen him had returned. She remembered that he had a wonderful smile, and loved how it seemed to change his entire persona. That smile that preceded the kiss he gave her. It was then she admitted that she wanted to stay by his side forever. And she had been the cause of their loss. Taking a deep breath, she told him the truth.
She told him the reason why she left. She told him that she would understand if he never wanted to see her again. She told him that she could never forgive herself for what she had done. She told him the things she hid from the world. She told him everything that she could. And when she saw the utter lack of emotion in his eyes, she knew she had failed him.
But nothing could ever prepare her for what happened next. A sudden movement; she had been abruptly shoved from her seat. Several flashes disrupted the dim lighting, making her momentarily lose her sight. And when her vision came back, she froze in horror and shock.
---
A/N: Sorry for the delay. This fic is nearing an end. One chapter left. There'll also be an Epilogue after that, and I'm hoping that it'll be original. (I've read many, many clichéd romance stories with an end where they live on a beach or in Winhill.)
Rinoa36: I'm sorry if I misled you, but this fic builds off the 'summer' that Seifer and Rinoa were together. Initially a Seifer/Rinoa, it is still Squinoa just like how the game goes. And the conclusion is and will forever be a Squinoa. Sorry if I confused you! Seifer might or might not get a future significant other; it's up to whoever reads it.
bembem: Wow. Thank you so much for your input on this chapter. I didn't really know how this chapter would turn out, and what you said made me reconsider (and re-read) my writing. Thanks for all your help, especially with beta-reading!