Title: Circle of life Author: Soleiva Sitril Disclaimer: I don't get paid for this, and I didn't come up with the brilliant Idea of Harry Potter.
One day Hermione stood up in potions class.
"Professor Snape" she said. "You are the purpose of my life, you are all I want, you are my missing link and you are my handsome prince on the white horse. Marry me so we can have legal sex."
"I am sorry miss Granger." Was the potions master reply. "Although you offer sounds very temptuous, I must refuse it. Because I have a secret crush on mister Potter."
It was now Harry's turn to stand up. "I will never have sex with you, professor, because I shall give my love to Draco Malfoy whom I love since the day I arrived at Hogwarts but never wanted to tell him."
"Oh Harry!" Draco cried. "Why have you never told me that? I had a deep and secret crush on you and I believed you were my only love until I found out that the one I really loved was Crabbe."
And Crabbe had a crush on Goyle who had a crush on Seamus, who had a crush on Lavender and so on and so on.
"And that is why I have a crush on Hermione." Parvati said, closing the circle.
Everybody applauded.
"Ow boy, this is so marvelous." Snape said, whipping away his tears. "There is so much love in this room, I almost want to paint the walls pink."
"Oh, yes professor, do so!" Draco cried. "So we can all stare at our loved ones while we are floathing on pink clouds."
There was a big yay!!
"I already have pink socks!" Ron said.
There was another applause.
"But." Hermione started. "All those things sound great but I want to do something else! Something more!"
Suddenly the dungeon seemed to be packed in dark clouds. Everybody was instantly depressed and the was a 15 minute during silence. Finally;
"We could have an orgy?" Neville Longbottom suggested.
The kids roared and they had an orgy and oh, what an orgy it was. It was legendary, this orgy, it was. oh well, it was an orgy..
~END
One day Hermione stood up in potions class.
"Professor Snape" she said. "You are the purpose of my life, you are all I want, you are my missing link and you are my handsome prince on the white horse. Marry me so we can have legal sex."
"I am sorry miss Granger." Was the potions master reply. "Although you offer sounds very temptuous, I must refuse it. Because I have a secret crush on mister Potter."
It was now Harry's turn to stand up. "I will never have sex with you, professor, because I shall give my love to Draco Malfoy whom I love since the day I arrived at Hogwarts but never wanted to tell him."
"Oh Harry!" Draco cried. "Why have you never told me that? I had a deep and secret crush on you and I believed you were my only love until I found out that the one I really loved was Crabbe."
And Crabbe had a crush on Goyle who had a crush on Seamus, who had a crush on Lavender and so on and so on.
"And that is why I have a crush on Hermione." Parvati said, closing the circle.
Everybody applauded.
"Ow boy, this is so marvelous." Snape said, whipping away his tears. "There is so much love in this room, I almost want to paint the walls pink."
"Oh, yes professor, do so!" Draco cried. "So we can all stare at our loved ones while we are floathing on pink clouds."
There was a big yay!!
"I already have pink socks!" Ron said.
There was another applause.
"But." Hermione started. "All those things sound great but I want to do something else! Something more!"
Suddenly the dungeon seemed to be packed in dark clouds. Everybody was instantly depressed and the was a 15 minute during silence. Finally;
"We could have an orgy?" Neville Longbottom suggested.
The kids roared and they had an orgy and oh, what an orgy it was. It was legendary, this orgy, it was. oh well, it was an orgy..
~END