Again, thanks to the readers. Extra special thanks to the reviewers. Mwah!

I'm having far too much fun hanging out with these guys this week. Just the break from an incredibly fatiguing work month that I need!

Harm's Apartment

Mac stood outside the door and hesitated, brushing a hand over her hair and straightening the light jacket draped over her arm. She looked down at her outfit - dark pants and a low cut ruby shirt that gracefully accentuated her cleavage - and wondered for at least the fifth time if it was 'too much'. She rolled her eyes. It seemed that curiosity, nervousness, and absolute despair were taking turns with every breath she took. "Okay, Marine. Pull yourself together." She tapped on the door and it popped open as if he had been waiting with his hand on the doorknob.

"Ah. Hi. I mean, come in." He looked, she noticed, both nervous and embarrassed. It actually helped her settle down.

"Little jumpy there, flyboy. You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dinner's almost ready." She got her last chance to worry as his eyes drifted quickly down her outfit. "Wow. You- ah…" Mac watched his eyes, and grinned as she could almost see a little subroutine click into place. "That color is beautiful on you."

"Thank you." They stood uncomfortably for a moment as he looked at her, laughed nervously, and motioned for her to come in.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

She turned to look at the table as he took her jacket, and put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Harm noticed her look and swallowed hard. "Anything?"

"Oh, Harm, it's lovely." She stepped over and reached out to touch the low vase of burgundy tulips and ivy, glowing softly by candlelight. "Very nice." Turning back to look back at him, she said softly, "I think water might be a good idea." He smiled, nodded, and filled two crystal goblets. Handing one to her, he held his up.

"To friendship," he said. She smiled, nodded. This was ground she understood.

"To friendship."

He took a deep breath just before he drank, and said, "And all it can become." She almost choked. A timer chimed into the abrupt silence and they were literally saved by the bell. "Ah. Everything's ready. Let's eat, Mac."

Dinner was calm. Harm asked how the Tannister case was going, and they segued into talking casually about the office, about some car work she was having done, about anything but a frantic hug in the middle of the bullpen, an undefined kiss in her office and a romantic setting tonight. When the last of the tiramisu was gone, they adjourned to the couch, sipping tea.

"That was delicious, Harm. Thank you."

He shrugged. "I hoped you would like it. I wasn't sure." Putting his mug down on the coffeetable, he walked over to the stereo and changed the CD. "That peppercorn sauce was new for me, and I didn't know if-"

"Harm, for heaven's sake. You made steaks! They'd have to be compressed soy protein - and with that sauce, it would have had to be overcooked compressed soy protein at that - for me not to be happy with them." They both laughed as he returned to the couch, and she watched him for a quiet moment.

"So?"

His eyes looked up at her, his head still tipped down. "So. Well. I suppose you're wondering..." He floundered, sipped from his mug and put it down again. "I don't quite know what to say."

"Try."

He looked deep into her eyes, and saw the humor waiting there, overlaid with a familiar tension. "Mac. I told you about Lieutenant Michaels. I didn't tell you everything." She listened quietly as he related the story of his morning. When he had finished, she shook her head sympathetically, sipped her tea and sighed.

"The poor guy. As if it wasn't bad enough to lose a colleague."

"Yeah."

"Do you think he'll be alright?"

Harm nodded. "I'll be keeping an eye on him." Then, running his finger around the edge of his mug as he stared into the depths of his drink, he added, "I found that I really identified with him."

Mac felt the ground shifting, and instinctively pulled back. "Really."

"Really. I listened to him, and all I heard was myself… and I suddenly realized, I've been afraid."

She put down her tea and sat back into the couch, long standing defense mechanisms tensing against what might be coming. Is this what the evening was about? He'd finally figured out … what? With stunning clarity she realized that although she had always wanted an explanation from him of why they couldn't be together, the last thing she wanted right now was to actually hear what it was.

"Afraid of what, Harm?" Her concern got the best of her when she saw the expression that came over his handsome features.

"Afraid that I'd lose my best friend. Afraid that we'd end up hating each other. Afraid that you'd go away..."

She exhaled, reached over and put her hand on his arm. "Hey. We both have abandonment issues. You'd think after all this time we'd trust each other more than that, but..." She shook her head, took a deep breath. No need to make this harder than it was. "So something is clear to you now?"

His eyes widened as he tipped his head, then a smile grew irresistibly across his face.

"Yeah. Something is clear. It took a while for me to figure out just what it was, but -" He shook his head. "Mac, I found something I'm even more afraid of than us trying and failing."

Here it comes. Whatever he says you are not going to cry again, Mackenzie. "What's that?" Her voice was a bare whisper.

Harm took a deep breath. "I'm more afraid of never being able to see you again. To touch you again. As long as we're both on the planet, I know we'll eventually see each other, we'll talk again no matter what. God knows we're too damn stubborn to leave anything that important alone." Shifting uncomfortably, he stared at the floor. "I couldn't get anything done at work today after you left for the meeting with Tannister. All I could see was you … dead. Gone. No way for me to rush in and save you, or at least die trying..."

His voice, always so strong and clear, shook for a moment. Mac could feel the intensity of his emotions and reached out impulsively to take his hand, which he grasped as if it were his only link to survival. "I thought of never having a chance again, of something ending our chances..." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it reverentially. "I know I must have thought about it before, but maybe I've just never felt it that way before. I don't know why. But I'm sorry I haven't."

Mac looked down for a long moment, fighting with her own resolve. "Actually, Harm, that's exactly how I felt when your plane went down. The night before I was supposed to marry Mic. I realized it then. I knew in my heart and soul that night how it would feel to never see you again."

She looked up with watery eyes. "I couldn't stop seeing you under the water, drowning, not able to help you… it was such a clear picture in my mind." The marine took an abrupt breath and swallowed hard. "I still have nightmares sometimes." She attempted a laugh, as if it were nothing, but her breath caught and she frowned down at the floor, trying not to cry.

"Oh, Mac. I'm sorry." He hesitated, then said quietly, "I have nightmares too. But in those, I'm drowning and you walk away..."

"Harm." She whispered, hurt. "I would never -"

"I know. I know that. Mac..." He held her hand more tightly, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry I'm an idiot."

She looked at him, staring so sincerely at her, and felt an abrupt opening warmth in her chest, as if a bubble had burst. Suddenly she couldn't help giggling. Sniffing, she dabbed at her face with her napkin. "That's okay, Harm. I'm actually pretty used to it by now." He laughed with her, then folded her delicate hand in both of his.

"Listen, Sarah. Are you willing to take a chance-" Harm grinned, gave her half a smile. "With a lawyer slash pilot of questionable intelligence? One who, I promise, catches on eventually?" His expression stayed the same while his eyes became seriously earnest. "Please."

Mac looked down at their hands for a long moment, then back up at his handsome, slightly worried face. The face that she knew so well, in all of its moods and feelings. The face that haunted her dreams as well as her nightmares. She sighed.

"You're right about one thing. Even if it didn't work out, we are too stubborn to never be friends again."

"Can we promise that?"

He looked so young for a moment, she had to blink. She took a deep breath. "I promise, Harmon Rabb, that no matter what, I won't walk away if you're drowning. You're my friend, first and always."

He grinned, as she hoped he would, and nodded. "And I promise - Sarah - that we'll always be friends, no matter how stupid we get sometimes."

She leaned closer, and he felt himself falling heartfirst into the liquid midnight of her eyes. He felt, as much as heard, her silky whisper. "So what have we got to lose?"

For a brief, eternal moment, he stared into her with earnestly burning passion; the same passion she saw when he talked about flying, or truth, or justice. Subtly, something in that look changed as he lowered his lips to hers.

With a little thrill of shock Mac recognized the expression, although she rarely saw it in her friend's face, and never with such ecstatic release.

Surrender.