Again, thanking the extremely kind souls who read and review.

They had been sitting on the couch kissing for what seemed like minutes, although their mugs of tea were quite cold by now. Harm felt Mac's hand slipping smoothly from the back of his neck into the scant space between them as she reached for the top button of his shirt. So many thoughts ran through his mind at once that he froze. She felt him withdraw and pulled away with a frown.

"What is it?"

"Mac... I... uh... don't know how to say this."

Her expression ran headlong through confusion to hurt. "I take it I misunderstood something?" The chill in her voice was evident. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." Every inch the Colonel, Mac tried to stand up to make a dignified retreat, pointedly staring away from him. Why does this always happen? Why do I let myself even hope?

Harm still had his arms tight around her, and clearly was not letting go.

"If you would just let go, I could leave without making any more of a fool of myself." His continued silence finally made her look into his eyes.

What she saw there took her totally by surprise.

She had never seen the sea-green of his eyes look quite so dark, so pained, and she hadn't seen him cry more than twice in all their years together - yet it seemed water was rising now. Mac steeled herself against her response and spoke tersely.

"Well?"

"Sarah." His voice was a caress, as gentle as his hand that delicately traced her jawline, coming to rest on her cheek. "Please. Let me tell you what I'm thinking." He felt her defenses dropping in spite of herself, and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Please don't leave. I don't want you to leave. It's not that at all."

Mac felt the carefully reinforced walls falling, and for a moment, felt like she might cry as well. She looked away from the compelling vision of his eyes and stared down at the floor, a flush of embarrassment on her face. "I- I'm sorry. That I didn't give you a chance to tell me what's going on, I mean."

"No, Mac, I'm sorry. You have these reactions because of what an idiot I've been in the past." His thumb brushed across her lips, and she looked at him again. "I've hurt you so much, I don't know if you'll ever trust me. If you'll ever expect something good first."

"Oh, Harm. We've hurt each other." Her hand came up to rest on his. "And I do trust you." Taking his hand from her cheek, she quietly kissed it. Struggling with herself, she finally blurted out, "But I admit I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but ... I still tend to shoot first and ask questions later."

His hopeful smile did more for her confidence than she would have admitted. "Trying is all we can hope for. We've got a lot to get past." She nodded.

"So. Why did you stop?" Her voice was strong but thin, a little girl wanting desperately to be a soldier. He hugged her hard for a moment, thinking, before taking a deep breath.

"Can I tell you a story?"

She stared, puzzled, and tilted her head at him. "I don't understand."

"Can I tell you a story?" His eyes twinkled a bit as he looked at her, hope and affection dancing there. "Begging the court's indulgence."

Mac sat back a little, looked a bit dubious, and said, "I'm listening." Harm nodded.

"Thank you." Shifting so that they were a little farther apart, but never letting go of her hand, Harm began.

"You know I wanted to fly from the time I was a little boy." Mac blinked in surprise at the seemingly random statement, but nodded. "When I was a teenager, I learned to fly small planes, and I was pretty good at it. They let you take the stick in the air with someone else before they let you try take offs and landings, you know. There are a lot of steps involved in learning everything you have to learn. You want to make sure you get comfortable with each one before you move on."

"I've heard."

"When I started flight school in the Navy, I remember they took the bunch of us down to the airfield. I hadn't been in an F-14 since my dad's, when I was a kid. Hadn't even been close."

She found herself drawn in by the sudden, open passion in his voice. This was part of him, a huge part of what made him Harmon Rabb. "What was that like for you?"

He grinned. "Well, it was smaller than I remembered." She smiled warmly at that remark, and he took it as a good sign. "But it was amazing. Amazing. All I wanted to do, from the moment I set eyes on that plane, was to get her up in the air. I wanted to fly a Tomcat more than anything. More than I wanted to breathe." His eyes lit up at the memory, and she felt her heart melting fondly. "It was love at first sight."

"I'm not really surprised." She said, watching the light dance in his eyes.

"No, I suppose not." Harm paused again, looked more serious. "But here's the thing, Mac. If I had just jumped into that plane, and tried to fly it without learning how, and without, for that matter, unlearning things I thought I knew that really only applied to the less complicated planes I'd flown before... well." He looked down. "I could have really hurt someone. Myself, for one, not to mention a plane that would never have a chance to get off the ground again."

Mac sat quietly and waited for him to go on. "By the time I actually took my first solo, I was so ready... it was incredible." Harm twined his fingers between hers and sighed. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately, because flying is one thing in my life that I've managed to be really good at. One thing that I've managed not to screw up." He took a deep breath and his tone abruptly became businesslike. "So here's the thing. I figure there's two ways we can go here."

Mac blinked and tried to keep up with his chain of thought. With everything they had already been through today, it was increasingly difficult to stay focused. "Ways we can go?"

"Yeah. We can take our time, learn a step at a time... or we can throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may." He leaned closer to her, close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke quietly. "Sarah, I want nothing more than to be with you tonight. Completely. I've dreamed of it for so long, and wanted you for so long." Her breath caught a little as she realized what was going through his mind, and she looked into his eyes with unmistakable, shared desire.

"But frankly," he said with a rueful grin, "we've been letting the chips fall where they may for so many years that we can hardly walk through them anymore." She laughed at that, the tension broken, and they hugged again. "What do you think?"

She thought for a while, until he pulled back to look down at her a bit nervously. "Mac?"

"I think," she said, "that you're getting awfully smart in your old age."

"I don't know about that. What do you think? What do you want to do?"

The laugh that escaped from her was hardly ladylike. "What I want to do and what would be a good idea are very likely two different things, in two different categories if not universes." He chortled a little laugh. "But I think you're right." She looked up into his eyes, resting a bit against his chest. "Let's take our time. We'll wait." Softly, she added, "At least before we actually try flying." The determination that tempered the desire and devotion in her eyes went through him like lightning.

He ran his hand over her hair, down her cheek to her throat. Gently he lifted her chin so she faced up to him, leaned over and took her lips with his, the opening of their hearts to each other feeding the closeness of their contact. So intense was the feeling that when they broke off, she gasped breathlessly. Holding her tightly against the tremble in his own chest, he whispered. "Mac?" She made a little noise of acknowledgment. "Just how long do we wait?"

She inhaled shakily. "Um. No more than ...a month?"

He nodded, a little shaky himself. "And no less than a week?"

She giggled and nodded into his chest. "Let's try for three weeks."

"Deal." They kissed on it, a bit more carefully.

"If that's the case, though, I should probably leave now." He looked at her, crestfallen, as she reluctantly disentangled herself and stood.

"Now?"

"Harmon Rabb. Lead us not into temptation."

"No, no, I don't want to do that, I mean, I do, but..." He stopped, laughed, started again. "Couldn't you just stay?"

Mac looked into his earnest expression and felt herself wavering. "Look, Harm, I think waiting is a good idea. But I'm only human, and I've wanted to be here for a long time. I'm not sure how strong I feel, especially after... all this..." She put her hands over her eyes, shook her head. "Augh. Listen to me. Such a solid, determined Marine."

"I'll say." He laughed and pulled her into his arms again. "Listen, beautiful, I feel very strongly about this right now. And I'm tired, at least I could be if I tried." He looked down at her and suddenly looked very serious. "This is one thing I really don't want to take a chance at messing up." As she looked at him, considering, he went for broke.

"Besides. I'm afraid if you go, I'll think that none of this really happened, and I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I had the nightmare again."

"Oh, Harm, no fair..." She stood on her toes and kissed him gently. "Alright, you win. I'll stay. But I wish I had something to change into."

His head jerked up suddenly. "You do. You have your running bag here."

"That's right!" Pulling away from him she dashed to the closet and pulled out her bag, rummaging through it. "Hmmm. Shorts, tank, tee, sweats..." She looked up at him thoughtfully and bent back to her task. "I think sweats and tee." His eyes grew wide.

"Good idea. I've seen you in that shorts and tank number."

Mac looked at him with mock indignation. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, my lovely and curvaceous colonel," he said as he walked over to her, making her giggle again, "that you can make it damn difficult for a poor, hardworking commander to avoid a red light." He kissed her again through their laughter.

"You can change in there..." Harm gestured toward the bedroom, and realized that they were both staring at the door doubtfully. "Or the bathroom." She nodded, grabbed the bag and went to change. By the time she came out, Harm had changed into soft cotton pants, and they moved back to the couch. Somehow it seemed safer than the bed.

"Movie?"

"I don't think so. If we're just going to sleep we should really try it."

Harm laughed. "Good point. I can use the practice, anyway. I haven't been sleeping much lately."

Concern furrowed her brow. "Why not?"

"Dunno." He looked away and back, and she hadn't changed her expression or moved. "Well, I don't think I know."

"Harm..." She felt the worry in her stomach, and realized with an odd sense of pleasure that for the first time, it was perfectly appropriate to feel like she wanted to take care of the man. It was alright to try to help him, if she could.

He sighed. "Work's been a little tense, you know that."

"That's for sure, but it usually is."

"And, well... I guess I've been angry with myself lately. Fed up." He looked away and studied the wall. "When I'm alone I haven't been enjoying the company."

She tilted her head, brushed her hand over his hair. "Little hard on yourself, aren't you, flyboy?"

"I suppose. I just felt like I wasn't doing the things I wanted to do, and the things I was doing weren't making me happy."

Mac sat down on one end of the couch as he pulled out a woven cotton blanket. She put a throw pillow in her lap. "Lay here."

"You sure?"

Her smile warmed his heart. "Yes. I've always wanted to do this."

"But you won't be able to-"

"I'll be fine. Just lay down." She grinned. "Don't make me order you." His expression froze. "Harm?"

"Sorry. Another thought for another day."

Mac laughed out loud. "You've had that fantasy too?" His eyes widened and she laughed again. "Let's not discuss that for a month or so, alright?" She patted the couch again, mischief still dancing in her dark eyes.

Harm grinned a shrug and stretched out his long body on the couch, resting his head in her lap. She adjusted the blanket to cover him better as he watched her contentedly. "I can hardly believe this is real, Mac."

"I know. Close your eyes." He looked into her face once more, kissed her hand, and closed his eyes. She ran her fingers delicately over his face and into his hair, massaging his scalp, the back of his neck. He sighed. She felt his body relaxing under her ministrations and smiled to herself. Very softly she said, "And how do you feel now?"

"Hmh?"

"Are you happy?"

He smiled, sleepily. "Very happy."

"Good." She took his hands and massaged them one at a time, finding pressure points that helped to release tension.

"That feels wonderful... thank you."

"You're welcome. Now sleep."

"Goodnight, Mac."

"Goodnight, Harm."

She paused from her massage to reach over and turn off the last light, leaving the apartment dark except for the dim lightspill from the window that barely highlighted his features. Looking down at the handsome face, the beautifully toned body that housed her best friend, she felt an overwhelming urge to thank the universe. Leaning over carefully she kissed his forehead. He let out a little sigh. Resting his hands on his chest, she let her head fall back against the cushions, and closed her eyes.

"Sarah?" The voice was sleep-blurred and quiet.

"Yes?"

"Your turn next time." She giggled silently as he turned on his side, and cradled his head as he nuzzled against her, falling soundly asleep.