Ickle Firsties
Chapter Seven – Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Pranks Here
AN: If you're wondering about the chapter title, we were forced to watch 'Grammar Rock' by 'Schoolhouse Rock' in LA the other day… it was really disturbing… anyways, the adverb song (Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here) got stuck in my head. And even though those songs scare me beyond reason, they did give me inspiration! ::sings:: Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs heeeeeeere….
"I'm broke," Sirius complained, turning out his pockets to reveal three Knuts and a Dungbomb. He placed them on the table in front of him. They were supposed to be doing their homework, but, just like the good little Marauders-in-training that they were, they were scheming instead. Or, rather, listening to Sirius.
"Same," said James, tossing down a Sickle.
"Lucky you, you've got a Sickle," Remus responded, adding two Knuts to their collection. They all turned expectantly to Peter.
"Whaaaaaaat?" He asked, seeing the looks on their faces. "I really am broke!" James, Sirius, and Remus rolled their eyes.
"I don't really care if I'm broke," Remus admitted, leaning comfortably against the back of his overstuffed, squashy armchair.
Sirius's jaw dropped, and he clutched at his chest. "Don't care! Remus! I'm ashamed of you!"
Peter uttered an extremely forced laugh. (AN: I don't care if he's too obsequious… I like making him stupid!)
"You don't want to go to Zonko's Fair?" James asked incredulously. Zonko's was a well known joke shop in the local wizarding village, Hogsmeade. The Fair had been the talk of the school for about a week, and the best part was, first and second years were allowed to go, too. Sirius and James had tried to save up their pocket money, but a fifth year Slytherin had tricked them into buying a large amount of Soaring Suckers, which James turned out to be allergic to. So, two days before the big fair, Sirius had no money and about fifty Soaring Suckers hidden under his bed.
"Zonko's Fair? Well, I suppose so, but I just figured that you two would buy them out of everything. I didn't really see the point." Remus shrugged.
"But it'll be fun!" James protested. "Lots of fun! Walking around, looking at all the stuff…."
"Pranking the Zonko's staff!" Peter exclaimed. As usual, everyone ignored him.
"I suppose I'll go, but only to look around," Remus complied finally.
"Look around?!" Sirius exclaimed, horrified. "Why would you want to look around when you can buy stuff?!"
"With what?" asked Remus. "Didn't we just establish the fact that we're all broke? And at least I didn't buy seventy-five Soaring Suckers from Marvin Sweeney…."
Sirius reddened. "Shut up."
"What we need," James interjected, "is a money-making scheme."
"Lollipops, get your pranks here!" Sirius yelled to a group of second year girls. They turned around, saw that there was nothing of interest, and resumed working on their star charts. James and Remus were staring at him bemusedly. "What?" He produced a scroll from under his own chart. "I have a whole list!" Four feet of parchment covered in Sirius's messy, uphill scrawl fell to the floor.
"Ah, so that's what you were doing while we were working on our Transfiguration essays," mused Remus.
James raised his eyebrows. "Did you guys even hear me the first time? We need a way to make money! Fast!"
Sirius conjured up a lightbulb and made it float just above James' head. Then he turned it on, and James magically began to sing. "Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your pranks here…."
"Wow!" Sirius exclaimed, flipping to a page in one of his books. "The Idea Charm really does work… hey, that's catchy! We can sell our pranks! Brilliant!" He hugged Charms for the Least Learned to his chest. "I love Idea Charms…."
"Sing it again, James," urged Remus.
"Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your pranks here… we'll sell 'em to ya cheap…." James sang.
"Price?" Remus asked, looking to Sirius for approval.
"Two Sickles per prank, I'd say… maybe three for the more complex ones."
"Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your pranks here… we'll sell 'em to ya cheap… if you'll pay us two Sickles, we'll…" James trailed off. "What will we do?" he asked.
"In rewards you'll reap?" suggested Sirius.
"Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your pranks here… we'll sell 'em to ya cheap… if you'll pay us two Sickles, in rewards you'll reap!" James grinned. "Definitely catchy."
"We can set up shop here in the common room," Remus thought aloud, grabbing a bit of parchment from Sirius's stack and beginning to write. "Hours, maybe a half hour before breakfast and from seven to nine at night?"
"Sounds good," Sirius agreed. Then, he added, "Make it one Sickle for early comers, the ones before breakfast."
Remus wrote for a few more minutes until he finally brandished the parchment in front of James and Sirius.
"Wow," was the only thing that they could come up with. In the centre of the parchment was a large lollipop with a skull and crossbones on the part that you eat. At the top of the parchment, in neat, curly script that contrasted perfectly to the skull and crossbones, it said Pranksters for Hire, we Come Cheap! Under that, in a pointy, untidy hand it said: 2-3 Sickles per prank, 1 for the ones who come before breakfast. The Prankshop is located in the Gryffindor common room. In addition to our early hours, we are also open from 7 to 9 in the evening, same place. Don't miss this excellent opportunity to bedazzle your friends with your cleverness and make your enemies quake with fear. Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your pranks here!
Peter gasped and applauded. The other three continued to ignore him.
"That's great, Remus," James said.
"I-I had no idea you were an-an artist!" Sirius, ever the melodramatic, said.
Remus grinned. "Thanks, but it's really no big deal. I just had a lot of free time before Hogwarts." He performed an Engorgement Charm on the parchment, and it grew into a good-sized poster. A nonchalant flick from James's wand, and tiny fake fairy lights glimmered along the sides.
"I'd say we're in business, mates," Sirius said. Little did he know….
***
Excerpt from Charms for the Least Learned:
Idea Charms: Though the Idea Charm is a simple, effective way to come up with a good idea, it is often with disastrous results. The Idea Charm seems to have a mind of its own, and only works properly when it deems its idea to be for a good cause. If this charm is used for evil or to fulfill greed, things can go drastically wrong.
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AN: Are they ever gonna get to the Fair? If you wanna know, you have to review… go on, you know you want to!
Oh, and here is some long overdue review feedback (only those who reviewed for chapter six, though, with an exception):
Tanya – Yup, you are! :D
Jewel Valentine – Thanks!! And thanks for putting me on your faves list, too!
Arazal – Mucho gracias! You're too kind… you've reviewed for all my fanfics! :D
SlippersRfuzzy – Yup, I think I updated fast enough….
Sarah – Heh… today in computers, I was randomly typing stuff in the "media center" section of MacMavis... I was typing random song lyrics, so I typed the lyrics to In Da Club under "Rejected from your Dream Job? Don't Forget to Say 'Thank You!'"! Yay!! And me and Yadav discovered how to get negative accuracy! I got -25400% accuracy! :D YAY!
Honk4Weasley – Gracias… ::blinks:: funny? I didn't think anyone would comment on that! ::bows:: Thank you!
Padfoot 92 – That's a common misconception. Hagrid was, in fact, well over twenty-one years of age when James and Sirius were in their first year. He was expelled at the age of thirteen fifty years before CoS took place, which would make him sixty-six years old in book five, so he's not James's age.
Braney – It's okay, I forgive you… now I will turn you into my minion! MUAHAHAHA! No, just kidding… thanks for your faithfulness!
Rogue Missfit Maruader Jedi – Wow, long penname, lol… thanks so much!! I wish I could write more today, but I have a ton of hw… :'(
Thanks to all of you!!! Now REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
--Juli